I AM LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS – WHY?
[1]. INTRODUCTION
In Book of Ecclesiastes we read this - {{Ecclesiastes 3:1-3 “There is an appointed time for everything, and there is a time for every event under heaven - A TIME TO GIVE BIRTH, AND A TIME TO DIE; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build up “ etc.}}
We know that everything is in God’s hands and for the Christian, there is nothing that can touch us without the operation of His permissive will. That includes our birth and our death (if the Rapture is delayed still). The preacher in Ecclesiastes knew that all these facts operated in God’s timeframe.
I want to take you to a most assuring passage in Revelation. {{Revelation 1:17-18 When I saw Him, I fell at His feet as a dead man, and He laid His right hand upon me saying, “Do not be afraid. I am the first and the last, and the living One, and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I HAVE THE KEYS OF DEATH AND OF HADES.”}}. This is the picture of the old time doorkeeper to a castle or large house. He held all the keys on a large circle and if you wanted entry to a place he would open and shut the door for you.
The Lord Jesus is our Doorkeeper who holds all the keys in His hand. Your key is there as well as mine. He has our whole life in His hands. {{Psalm 31:14-15 but as for me, I trust in You, O LORD. I say, “You are my God.” MY TIMES ARE IN YOUR HAND. Deliver me from the hand of my enemies, and from those who persecute me.”}}. I just want to concentrate on the words I have put in capital letters. David knew this truth that his/our times are in the Lord’s hand. That is fixed and unbreakable, for in God’s timing, it is known from eternity.
Therefore the Doorkeeper has the keys, ALL OF THEM in His safe keeping, and not until He fits your key into the door of heaven, does He want you there. When He inserts the key, then His call has come to you for the promised joys of His direct presence – {{1 Corinthians 2:9-10 but just as it is written, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.” To us God revealed them through the Spirit, for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.}}
Be comforted because God lets nothing come to you He does not know about. Even when a Christian is outside the will of God because he is worldly or has fallen into sin, even then that one is not outside God’s control. He knows all about it. Of course the Holy Spirit works in you for repentance and restoration.
[2]. I AM LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS
I am 81 years old and have been very active all my life in sport – cricket, tennis, now lawn bowls. Until 80 I was fit but now the problem of age is catching up. I think some of the readers can identify with that. Friendships can go back a long way so any severing of them is very sad.
My friends are both Christians and unbelievers. When the unsaved die it is a very sad event. At the Bowls Club many are around my age, and they do NOT want to hear anything about this religious stuff. Some people like to tell you they are not religious. Unfortunately, the word “religious” indicates ritual and adherence, not a living faith. When those pass from this earth they are in a bad place. It is not pleasant to think about it.
In am losing my Christian friends. I have found that when you get older you become more isolated from people, even your close friends. Distance and being able to get around are problems as well as individuals having to be more concerned about their health and welfare and where they might have to live – all those things.
Last year I lost a wonderful friend who was 7 weeks older than me, and his wife has only a few months to go. They were firm Christians and I will not forget the fun we had in 2013 on a return cruise from Sydney to Hawaii. Earlier this year a dear, but private lady, died suddenly. She was one of about 8 in my bible study and I think it turned out she had cancer but told no one. Suddenly she was gone. We are a very close group doing more serious biblical exposition, and we are so sad at that. If anything causes sadness in older life, it is the passing of friends.
I cited two cases here but I will not give more. You all know the picture, and none of us is unique in these things. You do wonder who will be next, for example, will it be me? I have Christian friends in the USA, Canada and the United Kingdom. Some I am losing touch with; others are quite ill and so it goes on. We might be more parted these days but in the future we will all be united in the Saviour.
One observation I will make. I believe in larger congregations there is a reasonable to good caring network for older and disabled people. I have never been in big churches, always small ones, quite small ones, and that often is because of location. In small churches we are a lot closer than people are in big churches, but do not have the support networks that are important.
[3]. ONE OF THE BOTTOM LINES – ABSENT HERE, PRESENT THERE
When we lose a good or close Christian friend we are sad, but are the departed ones sad? That is such a simplistic question and well answered by Paul in these verses - {{2 Corinthians 5:5-10 “Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are AT HOME IN THE BODY WE ARE ABSENT FROM THE LORD - for we walk by faith, not by sight - we are of good courage, I say, AND PREFER RATHER TO BE ABSENT FROM THE BODY AND TO BE AT HOME WITH THE LORD. Therefore also we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him, for we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be compensated for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”}}
To the Philippians Paul wrote the following - {{Philippians 1:22-24 “but if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labour for me, and I do not know which to choose. I am hard-pressed from both directions, HAVING THE DESIRE TO DEPART AND BE WITH CHRIST, FOR THAT IS VERY MUCH BETTER, yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake”}}
Paul knew that to be with Christ who loved us and died for us is much better than being in this hateful, sinful world, but God had work for him to do. It is just the same for us. God has work for us to do, and if that is the case he will leave us here. I have no scripture for this, but I think the heart of the Lord Jesus Christ yearns for all of us to be at home with Him. We are His reward, “the joy that was set before Him,” and He waits for that precious reunion.
In the Corinthians passage Paul alludes to the preference to be absent from the body and to be with the Lord. For what it is worth I have noticed that the older people who are getting closer to the age of departure, have the more desire to be with Jesus in heaven. I suppose that is natural as the young Christians are looking at marriage and family and careers, but they must be very careful they do not get bogged down in the world and lessen the desire to be with the Saviour in heaven.
In the Lord’s presence there is joy forevermore. There is peace and love and I can’t even begin to describe the situation for that episode of the man caught up to the third heaven (the very presence of God) for is beyond human comprehension.
{{2 Corinthians 12:2-4 “I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago - whether in the body I do not know, or out of the body I do not know - God knows - such a man was CAUGHT UP TO THE THIRD HEAVEN, and I know how such a man - whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know - God knows - was caught up into Paradise, and HEARD INEXPRESSIBLE WORDS, WHICH A MAN IS NOT PERMITTED TO SPEAK.”}}. This single incident reveals a situation beyond our comprehension.
Please dismiss people and frauds like Jesse Duplantis and his trips to heaven. Deplantis even claims the Lord asks him for advice on what to do. He also claims he can speak with the dead. See all that for yourselves by checking out the site run by Justin Peters on Youtube.
[4]. ANOTHER OF THE BOTTOM LINES – THE LORD’S PERSONAL PRESENCE
We do not fret over those who have been called to go before. They have followed the path the Lord took when He ascended to the Father. They were called home. I used to like the words of the song – “This world is not my home. I’m just a-passing through. My treasures are laid up Somewhere beyond the blue.”
Is the parting of loved ones a happy time? That is a problem for some, for decades of earthly existence is stripped away to leave grieving spouses, children, parents and friends. However may the Holy Spirit give us enlightenment and encouragement and comfort in this matter for that parting is only temporary.
It is distressing to attend a funeral, or more a celebration these days, (for people don’t want to be in a church), of one we know was not saved, and hear the celebrant or funeral director say things like, “He is at peace now,” or “He has gone to the great somewhere,” and other nebulous things to comfort the attendees. The basic line which is callous perhaps, is that the person is in hell for there is no other Name given under heaven whereby we must be saved. There are only two destinies – {{Psalm 1:5 “Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor SINNERS in the assembly of the RIGHTEOUS.”}}
As you know by now I have been losing my friends and they are going to the presence of the Lord. A beautiful thought came to me when editing one of my poems called “JESUS, REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU COME IN YOUR KINGDOM”. Jesus said to that repentant thief, “Today you shall be with me in Paradise.” The Lord died no more than two hours before the repentant thief and I feel absolutely certain that when the thief died, Jesus was in Paradise (Abraham’s bosom) to personally welcome the thief.
Can we claim that promise for ourselves (in heaven now, for Paradise was taken to heaven in the ascension – {{Ephesians 4:8 “Therefore it says, “When He ascended on high, He led captive a host of captives, and He gave gifts to men.”}}? YES! I do believe Jesus will welcome you personally to His presence. All considered, you are loved with everlasting love, and you are the precious possession of the Lord Jesus Christ, and one of His ransomed sheep for which He spent the night searching for that one sheep lost. Paul said, “to be present WITH the Lord,” and he did not say, “to be present IN heaven.” 2 Corinthians 5:5-10.
[5]. A POEM OF REALITY
If you follow my posts sometimes, you may know I write Christian poems which are making their way to Sermon Central one by one, but one I wrote was to address this issue. It is called, “THEY HAVE GONE TO BE WITH JESUS,” and this was written because I miss my friends. Here it is. I hope it might help you. (as at August 2025 this one is not yet on SermonCentral).
THEY HAVE GONE TO BE WITH JESUS
They have gone to be with Jesus
On that happy, blissful shore.
They were Christians that we knew here
Who’ve been called to go before.
Now they rest in Christ their Saviour
With their trials forever gone;
To enjoy His presence greatly
Where His face they look upon.
His redemption is now realised;
All His joy around then reigns;
All His grace is culminated
Showing love and mercy’s gains.
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No more heartache they will know there;
No more persecution’s hand;
Now eternal light surrounds them -
In God’s glory each does stand.
How delightful was that calling
That has taken those saints home.
Now their occupation fully
From the Saviour will not roam.
They have entered sinless glory
As the sheep whom He did save,
And with hearts that bow before Him,
Understand what heaven gave.
Yes, it gave the loving Saviour
As a gem among the dross.
To regain what sin had stolen,
He addressed mankind’s great loss.
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To be absent from the body,
To be present with the Lord,
Joy for them is joy eternal,
As they share His great reward.
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But their parting may have grieved us,
Who are left here in this scene,
When that cloud of separation
With its sorrows came between.
But their joy is overwhelming
In the presence of their Lord,
And one day we too will follow,
Joining them in love unflawed.
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Ronald E Ferguson 8-7-8-7 etc
[6]. ANOTHER OF THE BOTTOM LINES – NO FORGIVENESS MEANS ETERNAL SEPARATION
I do not wish this to be a dismal subject but one of encouragement and understanding. There are two certainties in life, death and taxes, and one must be prepared for death. I mean that in just one way right now. That is in regard to your eternal future. Those of us who love the Lord because He first loved us, look with anticipation to eternity in His presence.
If you do not know Jesus as your personal Saviour you have no joyous expectation but just a dreadful apprehension of the future. Please repent and give your life to Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. God is not willing that any person leaves this earth to go to a place of separation because the holiness of God will not permit an unforgiven sinner into His presence. Your sins must be forgiven. Repent and give yourself in response to Jesus Christ who loved you with love’s full dimension.
[7]. ADDRESSING PAIN SORROW BEFORE DEATH
This is a real problem for people and even Christians find it hard to understand. Death and sorrow entered this world through sin and I wrote on this in a series called “THE RESTORATION OF GOD IN GENESIS” https://sermoncentral.com/sermon-series/the-restoration-of-god-in-genesis-sermon-series-from-ron-ferguson-24581
Some people are called upon to suffer pain and it can be horrible. I know there are loved ones who hate the idea of a God when such pain and sorrow exists for their loved ones. I do not have the answers to a lot of this, and my articles in that series above try to come to grips with it.
When Paul was being terribly persecuted with so many deprivations in his life, he called them “light afflictions” – {{2 Corinthians 4:17 “for momentary, LIGHT AFFLICTION is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison”}}. So also, that must be our outlook. No matter what pain and suffering our bodies go through, these need to be understood as light affliction COMPARED WITH the glory and joy that await us. My friends whom I have lost, some of them have suffered in their bodies, but the overwhelming joy and peace with their Lord is surpassing any human comprehension.
{{James 4:14 “yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapour that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”}} Vanishing away is as the world sees death, but for us who are saved it is the entrance:-
He’s the resurrection life
For those His blood has saved.
He has left the signal posts
Along the path He paved.
Death, where is your sting today!
Where is your victory!
Gone forever, death’s barbed sting,
Confined to history!
Christ, the first fruits of the grave,
Proclaimed to death, defeat.
Aspirations for the saints,
In heaven, find their seat.
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Death’s the shutting of the book
Upon this earthly life.
Final chapter of our race
In this world with its strife.
Death’s the concrete stairs of faith
That rise to realms above;
Stepping stone on glory’s path
That enters to His love.
It’s a gateway op’ning wide
Upon the heav’nly scene.
It’s a call from our dear Lord
To follow where He’s been.
(Ron Ferguson – excerpt from the poem “Death for a Christian”)
