Text: 2 Samuel 3:1-5
Theme: David’s Family
Greetings: The Lord is good; and his love endures forever!
Introduction:
The holy family should take care to be a model family with seven qualities of life based on Hebrews 13:1-8. Now, we will talk about the missing qualities in many families which would lead to destruction and doom of the family. They are family interactions, family integration, and family intercessions.
God ordained family as the most sacred institution in the life of the humanity. Institution of marriage began at garden of Eden. Family is the basic unit of a society even for any church. If a family walks right with the Lord then the whole church becomes right with the Lord.
A home can be classified as : ‘A home could be a cage of social animals living together or a palace of godly people living together. A house could be a place of shelter of many individuals or could be a home of love, affection, fellowship with feelings.’ No house can be neither a military academy nor a chaotic accommodation where everyone does whatever he wants.
David’s Family Life:
Let me tell you the greatness of David. David is a great name with fame. His name appears for the first time in Ruth 4:22. The name continues to the end of the book of Revelation (22:16). He became king at 30 and reigned for 40 years. He lived for 70 years (2 Samuel 5:4). 1 Chronicle 29:26-28 says David died at good old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honour.
According to the Talmud Yerushalmi David was born and died on the same day Shavuot (feast of weeks). Islam gives him high honour as one of the Nabis, calls him Daoud. His name is mentioned 16 times in Holy Quran. Jesus was called the Son of David.
David was a forgotten son (1 Samuel 16:11-12), He was a chased son-in-Law (1 Samuel 18:20), and He was counted as an orphan (1 Samuel 20:3). David was anointed by God (1 Samuel 16;13), He had great zeal for God (1 Samuel 17:45), God was with him wherever he went and whatever he was doing (1 Samuel 18:14). He was a mighty valour (1 Samuel 17:34-36) and He was a champion (1 Samuel 17:40). David became a canon to measure the kings of Judah and Israel. (1 Kings 15:3, 15:11,14, 11:4-6, 12-13).
David had many good qualities such as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 18:12-13). He walked with the integrity of his heart (1 Samuel 18:14-15). He had served God’s purpose in his generation (1 Samuel 18:16). David was much talented musician and singer (Psalms 8,19,23…).
The synopsis of David’s family is recorded in 2 Samuel 3:2-5, 5:13-16, and 1 Chronicles 3:1-9. His sons were 6+4+9=19, and he had many sons a daughter known as Tamar.
“A numerous offspring was always accounted a very great blessing; and it must be very pleasant to a parent to see his children round about his table, placed in their proper order according to their age, partaking of what it is furnished with” as we read in Psalm 128:3. (John Gill in open Bible commentary).
He was not able to enjoy the meaningful family life.
King David:
- failed to train up his children
- failed to resolve the disputes among his children
- failed to do the settlement among his children
His family missed the family interactions, family integration and family intercessions. So, there was a confusion, chaos, disturbances, distress, disappointment, disintegration, vengeance, fight to extinct one another finally ended up in death.
1. Family interactions
“Mom, are flies good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his mother replied. After dinner the mother inquired, “Now, baby, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a fly in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
FAMILY INTERACTION refers to the communication and engagement between family members, encompassing a wide range of behaviours, patterns, and dynamics that shape their relationships and influence for individual well-being.
These interactions can have a significant impact on a family member's mental health, social development, and overall quality of life. Family interactions are the most proximal means of influence among family members.
It helps to shape family roles, power, affiliations, and cohesiveness.
Mother-father interactions can help shape how both parents impact their children. Family interactions leads to a functional family, parents strive to create an environment in which everyone feels safe and respected. A positive home requires parents to set and uphold rules, but not resort to overly rigid regulation of any one person's behaviour. In a healthy household, slights and misbehaviours are readily addressed, and boundaries are clear and consistent, all of which help avoid disharmony in the longer term.
Families must spend time with one another. There must be interactions. Interactions on economic issues, needs, resources and budgeting. Interactions on family relationships, relatives, and friends. Interactions on needs of the individuals, struggles, disturbances, problems must be expressed, sort out and addressed by the family members.
Proverbs 22:6- “train up the child the way he should go”. He didn’t train up the children the way they should go. Deuteronomy 6:7 says you speak, talk and teach your children while you sit, while you walk, while you lie down, while you rise up. The Israelites were taught to talk to their children and converse with them.
Abram was chosen because he would be a great and powerful nation, he would instruct his children to keep the way of the Lord and do the right and just things (Genesis 18:18-19). According to the Book of Jubilees, Abraham taught all of them ‘the unity of life, covenant of God and the future plan of God.’
Richard T. Ritenbaugh in Forerunner commentary says that Psalm 128:6 suggests that the godly fear practiced and taught in Christian families are the real sources of church well-being, prosperity and peace. They bring an environment of peace. Such homes produce productive individuals who build church, society without hostile, and peace to the whole nation.
2. Family integration
FAMILY INTEGRATION refers to the extent to which family members are involved in each other's lives, activities, and decision-making processes. It encompasses the degree to which family members' lives are organised around the family unit, rather than being primarily centred on external social groups like peer pressure, standard of colleagues in work or school. When parents are integrated into the family, it benefits their children's development of self.
Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is incredibly powerful in the family because it puts in control of relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. Without this emotional intimacy, family becomes a burden. Family members have to accept each other lovingly, with emotional honesty and openness.
But none of his children held him in high position. So, David could not resolve the issues among his children: David would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him.(13:21-22).
There was disputes between Amnon & Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1ff), issues between Amnon & Absalom (2 Samuel 13:23ff), Adonijah & Solomon (1 Kings 1:5ff).
Amnon was the firstborn. But hebdid a wicked thing among the Israelites (2 Samuel 13:3,12). He abused his sister Tamar who was a sibling of Absalom. Amnon had a best friend known as Jonadab who was worst in character.
Kileab or Daniel, second son, not known what happened to this Daniel.
Absolam was the third son of David. He was very handsome and excellent in stature. He killed his own brother Amnon and he fled into the land of grandmother and lived there for three years (2 Samuel 13:37-38). He built his own kingdom within David’s kingdom (2 Samuel 15:1-12). Absolam came to Jerusalem but lived away from his father for two years (2 Samuel 14:12-28), cunningly behaved, cheated, went against his father David. He covered the innocent people (2 Samuel 15:1,6). He lied to the people during the poll campaign (2 Samuel 15:7-8). He decided to kill his father (2 Samuel 16:11). Played harlotry with his stepmothers ( Leviticus 18:8). Due to war between David and Absolam many died (2 Samuel 18:8). He had sad end (2 Samuel 18:9, 10,14,15). He was killed by Joab (1 Chronicles 3:1-2) after he mounted a rebellion against his aging father David
Adonijah fourth son (2 Samuel 3:4, 1 Kings 1:11ff, 32-35, 50-53, 2 kings 2:13-25). Adonijah (1Kings 1:5) exalted himself to become a king against the wish of the father and the will of God. He was later killed by King Solomon.
The sons of Bathsheba: The infant who died without being named by Bathsheba then she gave birth to Shimea, Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, (the ancestor of Jesus possible) father of Mary (Luke 3:31), Solomon (Jedidiah).
Nine other sons were: Ibhar, Elishua, Elpelet, Nogah, Nepheg, Japhia, Elishama, Eliada, and Eliphelet, and one further unnamed son, who would also have died in infancy.
David appointed Solomon as successor of his kingdom (1 Kings 1:11ff.). Of course, it’s the will of God. But, He failed to communicate this will of God to his other children. He could have called them together and taught them the importance of dynasty, divinely ordained system.
David didn’t take much effort to do justice in his own family matters. ( 2 Samuel 13:39, 14:24). He failed to utilise the resources of the men power.
3. Family intercessions
Some of us are may be successful in interaction and integration but what about the intercession sessions.
It’s very crystal clear that none had followed the footsteps of David’s piety. But, they quickly learned the immoral acts of David - adultery, killing, lies, hatred, and deception in spirituality. David had a very disturbed family life.
Matthew Henry: “An unlimited power leads a person to an ungrateful life and egotistical lifestyles”. The extremity of man is an opportunity of God.
David didn’t take note of the examples of Job, Abraham, Jonadab and Judge Jair.
Job offered prayers for his children on daily basis.
Abraham settled his properties (Genesis 25:5-6).
Before his death Abraham. He divided his properties and land among them. Also, we understand that the descendants of Keturah whom Abraham sent to the east to settle down while he was alive, today those nations are found in the African continent. (Genesis 25:5-6).
Abraham in his last days called his Eight Sons: Ismael, Isaac, Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah; and his 14 grandsons of which 12 are of the children of Ismael (Nebaioth, Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, Mishma, Dumah, Massa, Hadar) and two of them( Easu and Jacob) are children of Isaac (Genesis 25:1, 12-16, 24-26).
Jair: Judges 10:3-5 Jair shared equal rights with his children. Jair had judged Israel for 22 years he conquered 30 cities and divided them among his 30 sons. He made all of them to be happy.
Recabites: Jeremiah 35: 14. The wonderful family of Recabite is scripted here. The children of Jonadab strictly observed the command. They never tasted wine for many generations .
Conclusion:
A home can be classified as : ‘A home could be a cage of social animals living together or a palace of godly people living together. A house could be a place of shelter of many individuals or could be a home of love, affection, fellowship with feelings.’
