The Benefits of Biblical Friendship
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time." – Proverbs 17:17 (CSB)
Introduction
We live in a world where friendships are often casual, self-serving, or shallow. Yet in Scripture, true friendship is not just encouraged—it’s celebrated as something sacred. From the garden of Eden to the upper room in John’s Gospel, God reveals His desire for partnership and connection—not just between humanity and Himself, but also among His people.
Tonight, we’ll explore what biblical friendship looks like, why it’s so essential, and how it points us to Jesus. We’ll look especially at the relationship between David and Jonathan, with an eye toward how their covenant love points forward to the incarnate love of Christ.
I. God Values Deep, Loyal Friendships
1 Samuel 18:1–4 (CSB)
"When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as much as he loved himself. Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as he loved himself. Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt."
David and Jonathan’s friendship began with an immediate soul-level bond. Jonathan's actions—stripping himself of royal robe and armor—were a deliberate surrender of status and a recognition of God's anointing on David. This wasn’t ordinary friendship; it was spiritual partnership.
Lesson: Biblical friendship is marked by loyalty, humility, and a shared vision of God's purpose. It's not possessive or competitive. It celebrates and supports what God is doing in the other person's life.
Proverbs 17:17 (CSB)
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time."
KOINONIA: A Theology of Spiritual Friendship
In the New Testament, this kind of deep relational bond is captured in the word koinonia—translated as fellowship, but richer than that. Koinonia means shared life, spiritual partnership, mutual giving, and communion.
Philippians 1:3–5 (CSB):
"I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you, always praying with joy for all of you in my every prayer, because of your partnership (koinonia) in the gospel from the first day until now."
Biblical friendship is gospel-partnership. It’s not built only on personality or interests but on a mutual devotion to Christ and His purposes.
Reflection:
Who are the “Jonathan” relationships in your life—those knit by God’s Spirit for mutual encouragement and kingdom mission?
II. A Biblical Friend Defends and Protects You
1 Samuel 19:1–7 (CSB)
"Saul ordered his son Jonathan and all his servants to kill David. But Saul’s son Jonathan liked David very much, so he told him, 'My father Saul intends to kill you. Be on your guard in the morning; hide and stay out of sight. I’ll go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and talk to him about you. When I see what he says, I’ll tell you.'
Jonathan spoke well of David to his father Saul. He said to him, 'The king should not sin against his servant David. He hasn’t sinned against you; in fact, his actions have been a great advantage to you. He took his life in his hands when he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great victory for all Israel. You saw it and rejoiced, so why would you sin against innocent blood by killing David for no reason?'
Saul listened to Jonathan’s advice and swore an oath: 'As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be killed.' So Jonathan summoned David and told him all these words. Then Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he served him as he did before."
Jonathan risked his own life and royal privilege to defend David. He spoke up to his father and mediated peace, at least temporarily. This was courageous friendship rooted in righteousness.
Proverbs 27:6 (CSB)
"The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive."
This kind of loyalty is rare—and desperately needed in a world where people are quick to cancel but slow to cover. A biblical friend intercedes for you and protects your reputation even when you're not in the room.
III. Biblical Friendship Is Rooted in Covenant Love
1 Samuel 20:16–17, 42 (CSB)
"Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, 'May the Lord hold David’s enemies accountable.' Jonathan once again swore to David in his love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself... Jonathan then said to David, 'Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the Lord when we said, “The Lord will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.”' Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city."
The covenant between David and Jonathan wasn’t momentary. It was generational and God-centered. “The Lord will be a witness between you and me… forever.” Their relationship was rooted in a holy commitment, not mere emotion.
John 15:13–15 (CSB)
"No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends..."
Jesus calls His disciples friends, and then lays down His life for them. In fact, the very nature of the Gospel is that Jesus, like Jonathan, emptied Himself (Philippians 2), surrendered His royal rights, and clothed us in honor we didn’t deserve.
Philippians 2:5–8 (CSB)
"Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross."
This is the ultimate friendship: humble, self-giving, and rooted in covenant love.
John 13:12–15 (CSB)
"When Jesus had washed their feet and put on his outer clothing, he reclined again and said to them, 'Do you know what I have done for you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are speaking rightly, since that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you.'"
In washing their feet, Jesus embodied servant-hearted friendship. He was a Jonathan to all of us, clothing us in honor while taking the lower place.
IV. The Blessings of Biblical Friendship
Biblical friendship brings countless blessings. Let’s look at a few key ones:
1. Support in Times of Trouble
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 –
"Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken."
You’re never meant to walk through life alone. Biblical friendship provides a shoulder to lean on, a partner to fight with, and warmth when life grows cold.
2. Encouragement Toward Holiness
Hebrews 10:24–25 –
"And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching."
Friends who push you toward God, who stir you up to love and good deeds, are a gift. A biblical friend is like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17).
3. Wisdom and Joy
Proverbs 27:9 –
"Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel."
Proverbs 13:20 (CSB) --
"The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm."
Wise friends help us grow, grieve, and rejoice. They carry our burdens and multiply our gladness.
4. Healing and Accountability
James 5:16 (CSB)
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed..."
There is healing in vulnerability and shared prayer. A godly friend helps you walk in truth, not just comfort.
V. A Friendship That Endures Even After Death
David’s friendship with Jonathan didn’t end with death—it continued in how he treated Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth.
2 Samuel 9:1, 6–7 (CSB)
"David asked, 'Is there anyone remaining from the family of Saul I can show kindness to for Jonathan’s sake?'... Mephibosheth son of Jonathan came to David, fell face down, and paid homage. David said, 'Mephibosheth!' 'I am your servant,' he replied. 'Don’t be afraid,' David said to him, 'since I intend to show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.'"
This is covenantal love beyond the grave—a picture of how friendship, when rooted in God, outlives hardship and even death.
Lesson: True friendship is never self-centered. It ripples outward in grace—touching generations and bringing restoration to the broken.
Conclusion & Invitation
Biblical friendship is not optional—it’s essential. It reflects the very heart of God, who created us for koinonia, gave us a Friend in Jesus, and calls us to love one another in the same way.
Tonight, ask:
Who is your “Jonathan” or “David”?
Who do you need to invest in or forgive?
Is there a Mephibosheth you need to invite to your table?
Closing Prayer:
“Lord, thank You for the gift of true friendship. Help us to be loyal like Jonathan, humble like Jesus, and faithful like David. Teach us to build relationships that glorify You and bring life to others. Knit our hearts together in koinonia—a fellowship that reflects the love of Christ. Amen.”
