HOLY HABIT #3:
SELF-CONTROL
Introduction
Craig Groeschel said, “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” That’s a good description of our subject for today: Self-Control. In this series we have added to our faith goodness —a life of moral excellence—and knowledge—a deepening understanding of God’s will. But knowing what’s right is not enough. The next essential habit is self-control: the discipline to choose what we want most, rather than what we want right now. Peter urges us to make every effort to add self-control (Sometimes translated as temperance).
1 Peter 1:5-7 NIV For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
Few habits test us like self-control.
Proverbs 16:32 GNB “It is better to be patient than powerful. It is better to win control over yourself than over whole cities.”
Proverbs 25:28 GNB “If you cannot control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls, open to attack.”
Without lapses of self-control, many pivotal Bible narratives would not exist. Adam and Eve eating forbidden fruit. King David demanding Bathsheba’s participation in adultery. A rooftop gaze led to a kingdom-wide catastrophe. Peter denying he knows Christ by the fire.
By definition self-control means that you must go against your impulses or feelings in order to attain a higher goal. … it applies to controlling all desires including greed, sex, food, emotions, the use of our time, and innumerable situations.
1. Three Qualities of Self-Control
Self-Control Requires Effort. Adding Self-Control to our faith, goodness, knowledge means we are making every effort to use what we know to follow God’s will. Like an Athlete disciplines every craving to win (1 Cor 9:25 LSB “Now everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a corruptible crown, but we an incorruptible.”). Effort is essential in order to add Self-Control.
Self-Control is Resistant to Corrupt Influence. One reason Peter is writing so specifically is that there are false teachers among them who are leading people astray. 2 Peter 2:14-15 “With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood! They have left the straight way…”
Sounds like the world in which we live - boldly leading anyone who will follow away from God. To practice self-control is to resist those influences - even close friends or relatives - who would lead us astray.
Self-Control Restrains Impulse. Harmon writes about Self-Control that it is the “restraint of one’s emotions, impulses, or desires. In both Jewish and Christian writings, this quality is commonly associated with refraining from certain behaviors, especially illicit sexual activity.” Greek philosophy (especially the Stoics) regarded self-control as a key virtue. Thomas Aquinas: “Temperance is simply a disposition of the mind which sets bounds to the passions.”
Self-control is Spirit-enabled mastery of my desires for the glory of Christ over the pull of the world.
2. How to Cultivate the Habit of Self-Control
-Remember Self-Control relates to everyone. Don’t ever feel alone in your struggles - you are not the only one. Even when we try to look our best, we still hurt. The truth is “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24). The only righteousness that any of us has is because of the Redemption found in Jesus Christ.
-Avoid shame-based behavior modification. If our only focus is on how weak, worthless, unable we are, we will never overcome the self-control issues we face. Often, shame chases us back to behavior that we are trying to avoid. Shame and guilt are our temporary friends if they lead us to seek God and trust Him, but they become enemies when they keep us trapped in the unwillingness to turn away from the sin in our lives. Self-Control is not a matter of just having the grit to do the right thing all the time -it is submission to God and surrender of control to the Holy Spirit, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23-25).
-Pay attention to your environment (Curate your environment). James Clear: “…’disciplined’ people are better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self-control. In other words, they spend less time in tempting situations.” It sounds too simple, but many of our habitual sins are fed by the environment around us. Mark 14:38 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
-Acknowledge the cycle of habitual behavior. Satan tempts us to sin, then uses that sin to entrap us in habits and addictions that bring us unhappiness and pain. Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” 2 Corinthians 2:11 “in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
This will be a life-long effort. James Clear: “You can break a habit, but you’re unlikely to forget it.” The enticements of the world will always be present.1 John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."
Make the bad habit invisible. The most practical way to eliminate a bad habit is to reduce exposure to the cue that causes it. (Change people, places and things!) Clear offers these examples:
-If you can’t seem to get any work done, leave your phone in another room for a few hours.
-If you’re continually feeling like you’re not enough, stop following social media accounts that trigger jealousy and envy.
-If you’re wasting too much time watching television, move the TV out of the bedroom.
-If you’re spending too much money on electronics, quit reading reviews of the latest tech gear.
-If you’re playing too many video games, unplug the console and put it in a closet after each use.
Proverbs 5:22 “The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast."
1 Thess 5:22 NLT “Stay away from every kind of evil.”
We can’t be enslaved to a sinful habit if we remove ourselves from its presence.
Conclusion:
Coach John Wooden said, “If you lose self-control, everything will fall.”
Self-Control Requires…Effort … Resistance to corrupt Influences… Restraint of Impulse
W. A. Criswell: “…No man ever really conquered in any area of his life until first he conquered himself. … Can apply to every area of your life: thoughts, temper, responses, deeds, dreams, prayers, outreach, everything.”
This battle language echoes Peter’s warning… 1 Peter 2:11 “Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”
Craig Groeschel said, “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” Where is your biggest tug-of-war between what you want now and what you want most?
What is your next step is developing the Holy Habit of Self-Control?
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Discussion Questions
1. In your own words, what is self-control?
2. Why do you think Peter includes self-control as one of the
foundational “holy habits” in 2 Peter 1:5–7?
3. What are the consequences—spiritually, emotionally, or
relationally—when we fail to exercise self-control?
4. What outside influences most challenge your self-control
(media, relationships, stress, etc.)?
5. Why is resisting impulse so hard in today’s world? What are
some practical ways to pause before reacting?
6. Why is it important to remember that everyone struggles with
self-control?
7. How does shame either help or hinder your growth in self-
control?
8. James Clear says “disciplined people spend less time in
tempting situations.” What are some examples of
“restructuring your environment” for better self-control?
9. How can the church family help support one another in
developing this holy habit?
10. What’s the difference between self-control as self-effort and
self-control as as a spiritual fruit?
11. Spend a few minutes in prayer asking God to strengthen
your will and help you surrender to His Spirit.
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Resources for this Series Include...
Austin, Daniel. Be Certain
https://sermoncentral.com/sermon-series/be-certain-sermon-series-from-daniel-austin-5895
Barclay, William. The Daily Study Bible: The Letters of James and Peter. Westminster Press, 1960.
Clear, James. Atomic Habits. Avery Press, 2018.
Cole, Steven J. Growing in Godliness
http://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-3-growing-godliness-2-peter-15-7
Copeland, Mark. Growing in the Knowledge of Jesus Christ.
https://executableoutlines.com/topical_series/growing-knowledge-jesus-christ/
Cortez, Enrich. Our Pursuit for Growth.
https://sermoncentral.com/sermon-series/our-pursuit-for-our-growth-sermon-series-from-eyriche-cortez-999
Criswell, W. A. The Seven Christian Graces
https://wacriswell.com/sermons/1974/the-seven-christian-graces/
Deffinbaugh, Bob. The Pursuit of Christian Character.
https://bible.org/seriespage/pursuit-christian-character-2-peter-15-7
Fox, Michael. Complete in Christ. Xulon Press, 2007.
Harmon, Matthew S., ESV Expository Commentary, Volume XII Hebrews - Revelation, Crossway, 2018.
Harvey, Robert and Philip H. Towner. The IVP New Testament Commentary Series: 2 Peter and Jude. InterVarsity Press, 2009.
Helm, David R. Preaching the Word Series: 1 & 2 Peter and Jude. Crossway, 2008.
Shelly, Rubel. Something to Hold On To: Studies in First and Second Peter. 21st Century Christian, 1985.
Warden, Duane Warden. 1 & 2 Peter and Jude. Truth for Today Commentary Series, Resource Publications, 2009.
