Doing Church God’s Way: Marks of Maturity
1 Timothy 3:1-16
Jay Kesler, the past President of Youth for Chirst, was on an airplane one day. He sat next to a young man. When lunch was served, the young man declined the lunch. As Mr. Kesler ate his lunch, he noticed that the young man’s head bowed in prayer. After lunch, Mr. Kesler asked the young man if he was a Christian, because it looked like he was praying and fasting.
The young man replied, "I am a Satan worshiper and the members of my church have agreed to fast every Friday at noon. During that time we pray that the leaders of the Christian world will fall. We pray that they will fall into sexual sin, and that their family life would crumble."
According to Barna Research, “In America, 3500 — 4000 churches close their doors each year.” As Christian leaders fall, so falls the Church. But here’s the good news. As Christian leaders mature, so grows the Church.
This morning, we will be looking at the marks of maturity in Church leaders. Don’t tune out because you’re not a Church leader. This applies to all of us. Here’s why. We are either following a leader, becoming a leader or mentoring a leader. We all need to know the marks of maturity in Church leaders.
The text this morning is 1 Timothy 3:1-16. (READ)
Mark Twain said, ““Most people are bothered by those passages of Scriptures they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are the ones I do understand.”
This morning, I’ll take a few minutes to explain the hard to understand verses. But I’ll spend most of the time applying those verses we do understand.
The three verses that may be hard to understand are 1 Timothy 3:2, 11 and 12. Verses 2 and 12 address the same concern. Let’s look at that first. (READ)
The phrase, “husband of but one wife,” has been interpreted in one of three ways: 1) A polygamist cannot be a pastor, elder or deacon, 2) A man who is married more than once cannot be a pastor, elder or deacon, or 3) A pastor, elder or deacon must be singularly devoted to his wife.
The third interpretation is most likely. Why this conclusion? During Paul’s time, polygamy was not a practice of the Christian, the Greek, or the Roman, except in aristocracy. And Scripture allows for remarriage in certain situations. In short, a church leader must be completely faithful to his wife.
The second hard to understand verse is 1 Timothy 3:11. The Greek word, “gyne” as used in today’s English term, gynecologist, means “women” or “wives.” So the translation could be, “In the same way as the deacons, their wives are to be women worthy of respect….” Or, “In the same way as the deacons, women (or female deacons = deaconesses) are to be women worthy of respect….”
Paul wrote in Romans 16:1, “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deaconess of the church in Cenchrea.” So deaconesses were around during Paul’s time. Whether 1 Timothy 3:11 describes the wife of a deacon or a deaconess, I don’t know. But what do you have to lose by being worthy of respect, godly in speech, temperate and trustworthy?
Now onto what we can understand and apply. Three marks of maturity. Let’s look together.
First mark of maturity in Church leaders you want to follow, you want to become or you want to develop is the mark of “walking the talk.” Vs 2-3; 8-9;14-16
Paul says, “If I’m delayed in visiting you at the Church of Ephesus, teach your people, not just your leaders, to live in this way.” But the leaders must practice what they preach. They must walk the talk.
Which one of these descriptions of a leader do you have trouble living out? I have trouble with all of them except for drunkenness. Now I’m much better than I was 10 years ago. I’m even better than I was a month ago.
“How did that happen?” you might ask. The key is WWJD. Not “what would Jesus do.” But, “Walk with Jesus daily.”
One way to walk with Jesus daily is to learn daily from God’s Word. This helps me make informed and intentional choices. Choosing biblical and wise actions is a pathway to maturity.
Another way to walk with Jesus daily is to associate with godly people. I call or meet with godly mentors and coaches regularly. I also enjoy hanging out with godly men and women. Here’s the best one: I married a godly wife.
Here’s a third way to walk with Jesus daily. Paul calls this the “mystery of godliness.” Unlike man-made philosophies and religions, Christianity promises Immanuel, God with us. Because God live in us, we can live like Him.
I can be impatient with people. You can hear it in my tone of voice. But when I remember that God is with me, I am more patient. When I forget to be patient, God reminds me. And I ask for forgiveness. I don’t like to ask for forgiveness. That helps me to be patient. This is walking with Jesus daily.
The second mark of maturity in Church leaders you want to follow, you want to become or you want to develop is the mark of “managing the trust.” Vs 4-5; 11-12
As Church leaders, God entrusts us with managing His family, the Church. God also entrusts those of us who live with our family to manage our human family. The home in some ways is the training ground for how to select and develop leaders, and to manage operation.”
Men don’t need to be stay-at-home Dads to manage well our home or have our children respect us. Here’s what I’ve learned from those who have lead well at home. The A, B, C, D of managing the family.
A stands for Availability. We must make being available to our family a first priority. Others can take your place at work or at church. But no one can take your place as Mom or Dad in your family. At the end of life, you will not wish you were more available at work or at church, but with your family.
B stands for Believability. We must be trustworthy and reliable. When we say we will do something or be somewhere, we must follow through. Your spouse and kids need to know you can be counted on.
C stands for Capability. For our job, we spend years in college, graduate school and continued education. But we spend almost no time educating ourselves to build strong, productive and loving family relationships. Availability without capability leads to loss of credibility.
(As a side note, without knowing I would teach on this, Susan borrowed out a book from the library titled: “Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days.” I told her to not waste her time reading the book. Just tell me what she needs, and I’ll do it.)
D stands for Delegation. We can’t do it all. My mentor and his wife don’t like to iron. But he wears a suit and tie everyday for his work. So he pays for all his shirts and slacks to be pressed. I’m helping Esther with her homework now. But I’m looking forward to the time when she will help Hannah with her homework. Managing the home well means making sure everything important gets covered. But it doesn’t mean you or your spouse have to do everything.
The third mark of maturity in Church leaders you want to follow, you want to become or you want to develop is the mark of “passing the test.” Vs 6-7, 10, 13
I write a reasonable number of letters of recommendations for students for college and scholarship applications. If you’re in school and you need me to help in this way, I’ll be glad to. But I’ve also declined for two reasons. First, if I don’t know you well enough, or if I can’t honestly recommend you without reservation.
One sentence I usually write in the letter is this: “If an individual’s past is a good indicator of his potential in the future, Peter has the potential to succeed in whatever he sets his heart and mind to.”
The past does serve as a good indicator for the future. And here’s what my leadership coach suggest I look for in potential Church leaders: FAT Christians. These traits overlap what Paul instructs.
F stands for Faithful. Look for people who have been reliable in the past. Do what they say they would do and when they would do it.
A stands for Available. Potential and talent are meaningless when there is no time to apply them to the ministry. There must be time commitment to serve.
T stands for Teachable. This is more than being a life-long learner. This is about being a humble student and follower.
Let me close the message by turning together to our Church’s Servant Leadership Covenant. It hangs pinned on a six-foot tall wood cross in front of my desk in my home office. Will you take a moment read over the vision of our Church and put a check next to the descriptions that are like you. Leave unchecked those descriptions you still need to grow in. Take a few minutes now.
