Mentoring with God - Musts
Exodus 18:6-27
(https://youtu.be/2dSzjIKtVcA?feature=shared) What you saw took place before a Trail Blazers and Mavericks game in 2003. The 13-year-old Natalie Gilbert couldn’t find the words to the National Anthem. Can you imagine the fear, the anxiety and the embarrassment?
When Coach Maurice Cheeks was asked what motivated him to go over and start helping Natalie, he replied, “You know, I don’t know. I think as I saw her stumble on the words, she looked helpless, and I just started walking. I had no idea what I was going to do, what I was going to say. But as I approached her, I just wanted to help her, and I didn’t know if I even knew the words…”
Remember the last time you failed? Was there a coach who helped you recover and succeed? Or did the people around you come down on you for your failure?
I've had about a dozen coaches and mentors since my college years. Many of them are pastors. One pastor lived and served in Washington DC. He made himself available to me 24/7 until he retired a few years back to serve as a missionary in Asia.
Other mentors I have or had are professional coaches. One coaches executives in tech companies. Another coaches leaders nationally. One I just developed a relationship with last week. He lives in Africa, and lectures internationally on reversing PD.
I'm grateful for their mentoring me at no charge. If you're interested in learning how to get high quality mentoring at no cost, I'll share with you my experience at the end of the message. Of all the people I asked to mentor me, I've only had one say "no." His reply was, "Dana, my schedule won't permit. Could we just be friends?"
You might ask, "Why do I need a mentor? I'm doing fine." Maybe I'm just higher maintenance. But without the mentors in my life, I would not know, do or become what I know, do or become.
Life is hard. Here's what else. Life is too short to learn everything we need from personal experience. We need the experience of our parents, teachers, experts and more mature individuals.
Here's another question; not "Why do I need a mentor?" but "Why do I need TO BE a mentor?" Someone answered the question this way: "There can be no success without a successor."
Humanly speaking, the success of Christianity was the result of Jesus mentoring disciples who mentored disciples. Jesus mentored his successors. And His successors are called to mentor other successors.
This morning’s passage comes from Exodus 18:6-27. We’ll learn the key characteristics of a mentor and a mentee. This message begins the second subtheme of the year: Mentoring with God.
Let me read our text and give some background. (READ Exodus 18:6-17).
Here’s a bit of background. God used Moses to deliver the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. For many generations, Egyptian slave masters ruled the Israelites. At this point in history, the Israelites were learning to be ruled by God through His chosen leader, Moses.
So Moses faced the incredible challenge of carrying out three roles: King, Prophet and Priest. As king, Moses ruled over his people with justice and love. As prophet, he taught his people God’s laws. And as priest, he served as a mediator between God and his people.
What Moses was to the Jews, Jesus is to the world. God chose Jesus Christ to deliver people out of the slavery of sin, guilt and condemnation. To lead people with justice and love. To teach people God’s ways. And to serve as the way back to God.
When Moses' father-in-law saw Moses carrying the heavy load, he wanted to help. Jethro came alongside and mentored Moses. And Moses accepted Jethro’s advice.
Life is challenging for the young and the old. The challenges are different, but we all feel stress and face failure. And it helps to have someone who wants you to succeed.
The helper and the one being helped makes up the mentoring relationship. But sometimes the helper and the help are not welcomed. This can be true of a parent who tries to help a teenager. Or a supervisor who tries to help an employee.
Moses could have seen his father-in-law’s help as butting in. Instead, Moses saw Jethro helping him succeed. There are unique interactions that must take place to possible mentoring with God. Let’s look at the approach of the mentor and the response of the mentee.
Let’s look at Mentor’s "musts." First, Jethro acquired Moses’ trust. Exodus 18:8-12.
There are at least two things you can do to get me to trust you. Help me when I struggle. And celebrate with me when I succeed.
What if you were jealous or unhappy when I succeed? Would I trust that you want what is best for me? Probably not.
Jethro genuinely celebrated what God did for Moses and the Israelites. He was happy for Moses and the Israelites. This helped Jethro gain Moses’ trust.
I’m not good at this. I’m silent when my children do well, because I figure they don’t need my advice. When I see they need my help, I speak up to give my advice. But here’s what happens. If I don’t celebrate with them in their success, my advice during their time of failure can feel like criticism.
People don't care what you have to say unless they know you care about them. And the Bible tells us there are at least two ways to show that we care: Grieve with those who grieve, and rejoice with those who rejoice.
The challenge is that the young and the old don't grieve and rejoice over the same things. The young may grieve over the need to reschedule a play date, while the old thinks that's not worth crying about. The young may rejoice over a high score in a video game, while the old thinks that's not worth celebrating.
But if we are to show we care and to build trust: Grieve with those who grieve, and rejoice with those who rejoice. If you celebrate with me when I succeed, I am more likely to seek your help when I struggle.
Second, Jethro assessed Moses’ situation. Exodus 18:13-16.
Whether parents, sponsors or leaders, we usually feel we have less time and more life experience than those we want to help. As a result, we jump in with answers before we have an accurate understanding of the situation. I'm often guilty of jumping to conclusions.
Jethro took time to observe and to ask questions. Here’s what else Jethro did. He listened to Moses’ answers.
If we really care about someone, whether a son, a daughter, a student or a co-worker, we need to make time to understand the situation first. "What is happening?" “How can I help?” Then listen.
I was talking with a young adult about a friend dying without knowing Jesus. I asked, "What would knowing his eternal destiny do for you?" To my surprise, this YA replied, "My dad is not a believer." The focus turned to the concern about the dad.
Assessment involves asking and listening. We gain a better understanding of what is really happening. We can be of better help.
Third, Jethro affirmed Moses’ dependence on God. Exodus 18:19, 23 and 27.
Jethro knew he was only going to be with Moses for a short time. When Jethro gave his advice to Moses, he said: “Use this advice if it is what God wants, if you believe this advice pleases God.” This is mentoring with God.
Parents, you won’t always be with your children. As they grow up, they will spend most of their time away from you. If life works out right, you will die before your children will. Only God can be their ever-present help.
So parents, we need to trust God to help our children. And to help our children to trust God. The same goes with sponsors and mentors. We need to remind those we care about that God is our ultimate help.
David Wong mentored me in ministry for over a decade. He would always ask great assessment question, listen, and then give a profoundly practical solution. Then he would end with, "But you pray about it." This reminds me that God has the final say.
Now let’s look at Moses, the Mentee's "musts." First, Moses was teachable by Jethro and God. Exodus 18:23-24
We see that Moses was a humble man from his greeting of Jethro. He was teachable rather than stubborn or prideful. There is a saying, “When the student is ready, a teacher will appear.” Teachable people will likely receive needed help.
Moses was not only teachable by Jethro. Moses was teachable by God. Part of Jethro’s advice was for Moses to make sure his advice was pleasing to God.
God praises people who are teachable and who check with His word before acting on other people's word. We read in Acts 17:11, “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received [Paul’s] message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” The people in Berea checked Paul’s word with God’s Word before accepting it as true.
We live in the information age. We have self-help books, seminars, coaches and counselors. Young people rely heavily on friends’ opinions and the Internet. When faced with challenges and struggles, there is no shortage of advice.
But not all advices are helpful. Why? Because not everyone who writes books or blogs want what is best for you and me. Some are just selling ideas and products to make money.
And here’s why not all advices are helpful. No one but God knows everything. So here’s a suggestion: Before you act on someone’s advice, pray about it. Ask God if following the advice will please Him. Also check the advice with what you know from the Bible
If you’re new to praying or unfamiliar with the Bible, you might check the advice with someone who loves you and knows God and the Bible. Be teachable by the mentor. And check the advice you get with God and His Word.
Second, Moses received and gave mentoring. Exodus 18:20-22 and 25-26
Moses received mentoring from Jethro. And Moses in turn mentored Israelites who were capable and trustworthy. This is my experience to getting high quality mentoring at no cost.
Here was my email to request mentoring from a man who has reversed many of his PD symptoms and lectures internationally on the topic:
Dear John,
Would you be open to coaching me in what you do so then I can share with others? I will not charge, just as you do not charge.
I am a pastor and want to serve my community and beyond with the help and hope that you have provided. You can multiply your effort through me and pass on your legacy of the experiences you've gained to reverse PD.
His reply email the next day reads:
Hi Dana
Where would you like to start?
Here's why I believe people are willing to mentor free of charge. First, they have something of value to pass on. Second, because they believe you will help pass it on. When a mentee is committed to receive and give mentoring, a mentor will appear.
Let me close by recommending three resources at the lobby book table. For those who understand the importance of mentoring and want to pass on our experiences to help others succeed:
1. Growing Young: 6 essential strategies to help young people discover and love your church
2. Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids
3. You and Your Network: 8 Vital Links to an Exciting Life ($5)
