Mentoring with God: Model
John 21:15-25
This is the fourth message in our series, Mentoring with God. Here is an excerpt from my recent email to our small group leaders:
"Mentoring can take place between a small group leader and his or her apprentice. Mentoring can improve relationships when a more mature married couple mentors a newly married couple. Mentoring can help younger Christians grow deeper in their faith rather be stuck in complacency or doubt.
Adults can mentor young adults. Young adults can mentor college students. College students can mentor high schoolers."
I mostly mentor 1-on-1. But I also mentor in groups. In the groups, I encourage reverse mentoring, where the younger guys pour into me their excitement, their technology knowledge and skills, their awareness of culture, and much more.
Mentoring with God is pouring your God-given knowledge, experience and skills into another person. And this is the purpose: So that he or she can become more of what God intended. Mentoring with God is an important step to running God's race together and to finishing well!
Let me talk for a moment to those who have served faithfully and believe God has no more use for you. If you think you're done serving God, you're not. If you think you're not needed anymore, you are. If you think mentoring is not for you, it is.
This morning, we'll be looking at Jesus, the model for mentoring with God. Our text is John 21:15-25 (READ)
Jesus showed himself to his disciples multiple times after his resurrection from the dead. In the text we read, Jesus showed himself to the disciples in order to publicly restore trust in Peter. Let me give some background.
Flashback: At the final meal with Jesus and the disciples, Peter publicly stated that he would follow Jesus even to the grave. But soon after Jesus was arrested, Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. Peter was afraid of being arrested also.
So we see in John 21, Jesus gives Peter three opportunities to redeem himself. From this narrative, we see Peter become what God intended because of Jesus' mentoring. Let's look together at the model Jesus set for us in his interaction with Peter.
Jesus mentored grace. Jesus mentored growth. And Jesus mentored God's will.
First, Jesus mentored grace.
In John 21:15-17, two different Greek words are used in the conversation between Jesus and Peter. The words are agape, which means “love at all cost,” and phileo, which means “love as a brother.” Here’s how the conversation reads:
Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me at all cost? (as you claimed at our last meal)
Peter replies, “You know I love you like a brother.” (this is the best I can do)
Jesus asks again, “Do you love me at all cost? (are you sure you can't)
Peter replies again, “You know I love you like a brother.” (this is all)
The third time, Jesus said to Peter, “Do you love me like a brother?” (I will accept this)
Peter confirmed, “You know I love you like a brother.” (Peter also accepts his own weakness)
Peter learned from his denial of Jesus not to overestimate his love for Jesus. He recognized his weakness and his humanity. He no longer promised to love Jesus at all cost, but to love Jesus as only a human can. And Jesus in the conversation forgave, accepted and restored Peter in front of the other disciples.
Grace is undeserved favor. Forgiveness is a form of grace. We don't deserve forgiveness. But all of us needs forgiveness. Grace gives us what we need; not what we deserve.
Restoration of relationship is a form of grace. So is restoration of trust. And restoration to serve. All these Jesus gave to Peter. Not because of Peter deserved it.
Mentoring with God means to model after Jesus. To mentor grace to your mentee. To not be shocked by sin. But to forgive and restore. To not be discouraged by disappointment. But to be patient and accepting.
Bob Buchanan was my college pastor. He was also my first mentor. He looked like a big burly biker without the beard.
One day I said to Bob, "You know that habitual sin I've been struggling with? I haven't given into the temptation since we last met."
And Bob said in reply, "And you know why? Because if you did I'd punch you out." We both laughed, because we both knew he was joking and that he would love me whether I sinned or whether I stopped.
Steve Brown says, "People will change only when they know they will be loved even if they never change." That's the power of mentoring grace. Most mentors want to see growth in their mentees. The growth happens only over the safety net of grace.
Second, Jesus mentored growth.
We read from verses 18-19 Jesus' prediction of Peter's death for following Jesus. History records Peter was eventually crucified for his faith and loyalty to Jesus. Peter grew in courage.
You might wonder, "How did Jesus mentor such growth?" Well Jesus died and rose from the dead. And he promised those who believe in Him would also rise from the dead.
But Jesus did more than that. Jesus mentored growth by entrusting the care of his disciples to Peter. By giving Peter a picture of dying courageously in the future. These are ways to mentor growth. By communicating belief in Peter.
When people we trust believe in us, we believe we can. When we believe we can, we grow. So to mentor growth, we must communicate belief in our mentee.
One of the phrases that my mentor David Wong repeats over and over at the end of our mentoring phone calls is, "you will do well Dana." He in effect says to me, "I believe in you." And I leave the phone call with greater courage to do what is needed.
Pastor Steve communicates believe me with action rather than words. Instead of removing responsibilities from my workload because of my Parkinson's, he continues to entrust me with important responsibilities. He in effect says to me, "I believe in you."
As a mentor, do you really believe your mentee can grow? How will you communicate belief in your mentee? What will you say? What will you do?
Third, Jesus mentored God's will.
We read from verses 20-24 that Peter compared his life with another disciple, John. But Jesus reminded Peter that He had a unique plan for each disciple. Jesus prevented Peter from one of life's greatest failures: The failure to be and do what God made us to be and do.
Comparing ourselves with others can produce in us arrogance or a sense of inferiority. There will always be someone smarter, better, more skilled or more fortunate than I am. But to be or do like someone else could mean failing to discover and do God's will for you.
Now there are common objectives in mentoring with God. We talked about five then last week, developing godly confidence, godly community, godly character, godly contributions, godly convictions. But mentoring with God means we seek God's will for our mentee. Not produce cookie-cutter Christians.
What are some ways to mentor God's will? Pray with your mentee. For God's will in his or her college major, significant relationship, career, ministry.
Here's another way. Listen and observe to learn your mentee's SHAPE.
S – Spiritual Gifts - What has God supernaturally gifted your mentee to do?
H – Heart - What does your mentee have passion for and love to do?
A – Abilities - What natural talents and skills do your mentee have?
P – Personality - Where does your mentee's personality best suit him or her to serve?
E – Experiences - What spiritual experiences has your mentee had? Painful experiences? Educational experiences? Ministry experiences?
There are many SHAPE profile assessments online. Or you can simply listen to and observe your mentee over time to discover his or her shape. As you learn your mentee's shape, encourage him or her to let God use his or her shape in life and ministry.
Let me close with an observation about Peter being a model mentee. Peter had the quality of transparency. He was willing to show his weakness and what he was thinking.
Some mentees try to impress their mentors. They are guarded rather than transparent. This could mean the mentor needs to work on building more trust.
Unless the mentee is willing to admit his or her weakness, the mentor cannot know when to mentor grace and when to mentor growth. Unless the mentee is willing to think out loud and to ask questions about struggles with faith, feeling, and sin, the mentor would not know how to help.
I had mentored a young adult for over a year. He never shared about a weakness of his. Then one night I received a call from him. He said he wanted to stay sexually pure, but he was struggling with Internet porn.
I asked him what triggered his temptation and eventual giving in. He said, “Sometimes it’s the abundance of sexual stimulation from billboards, magazines and the Internet. But the times I give into the temptation is when I struggle with failure in other areas of life, feeling inadequate, depressed, angry or lonely.”
Then I asked him, “What is right about your viewing Internet porn?”
He replied, “Nothing.”
I asked again, “What might possibly be right about viewing Internet porn?”
He said, “I don’t know.”
I said, “You view Internet porn to soothe the emotional pains you feel. And seeking healing for emotional pain is right.”
Then we talked about what’s not right about porn. And we talked about what are better options. He decided to learn to deal with the emotional pains God's way rather than medicate them with porn.
If we want to model after Jesus in mentoring with God, here's what we must learn to do. Mentor grace. Mentor growth. And mentor God's will.
