Several years ago, Ken Westphall, in Leadership Journal, a publication for ministry leaders, talked about the most frequent phrases in ministry that become preludes to a fast farewell. They include the following:
I think I've earned the right to say this.
In ancient Israel, the people danced before the Lord.
Recently, I've been reading about the importance of publicly confessing your own sins, so today...
I'll show the church secretary who's boss around here!
Then there are no hard feelings, right?
I'm sure Mrs. Jones will agree that she's been our organist long enough.
They need to realize this kitchen belongs to everyone (Ken Westphall, Leadership, Vol. 14, no. 2; www.PreachingToday.com).
Pastors, if you’re looking to make a quick getaway, try using one of these phrases.
Sad to say, some churches fight over the silliest of things. The pastor, or somebody, says something that doesn’t set well, and before you know it, the whole church is up in arms, people are taking sides, and some leave the church, never to return.
So, how do we keep that from happening here? How do we maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3)? How do we experience harmony and joy in our relationships? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to 2 Corinthians 13, 2 Corinthians 13, where the Apostle Paul speaks to a highly conflicted church—the Corinthian church. He is getting ready to visit them a third time, and he urges them to do several things so that his visit can be a happy one, not a painful (or harsh) one like his last visit (2 Cor. 2:1).
2 Corinthians 13:1-2 This is the third time I am coming to you. Every charge must be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. I warned those who sinned before and all the others, and I warn them now while absent, as I did when present on my second visit, that if I come again I will not spare them (ESV).
Paul wants the Corinthian believers to discipline the people causing all the problems, the false teachers, the contentious ones. Based on what Jesus taught his disciples (Matthew 18:15-17), believers must confront such people, first individually, then with 2 or 3 witnesses, then before the whole church. After that, if the contentious sinner refuses to repent, they are to exclude him from the fellowship.
Paul tells them to discipline such people, or else he will do it when he visits them again, and it won’t be pretty. He will exercise the authority some say he lacks.
2 Corinthians 13:3-4 …since you seek proof that Christ is speaking in me. He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God (ESV).
Paul will wield God’s power in their midst if he has to. He doesn’t want to, but he will if it benefits the whole church and brings unity to the body.
Warren Wiersbe says, “The Judaizers in the church had accused Paul of being a weak man (see 2 Corinthians 10:10). Their approach to ministry was heavy-handed and dictatorial, while Paul’s was gentle and humble (2 Corinthians 1:24). Now Paul assured them that he would show them how strong he could be—if that is what it took to solve the problems. ‘I will not spare!’ was his warning, and he used a word that means ‘to spare in battle.’ In short, Paul was declaring war on anybody who opposed the authority of God’s Word. ‘Let Paul prove he is a true apostle!’ said his opponents. Paul’s reply was, ‘Like Jesus Christ, I am strong when it appears I am weak.’ On the cross, Jesus Christ manifested weakness; but the cross is still ‘the power of God’ (1 Corinthians 1:18) (Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary).
And Paul warns he will wield that power if he has to on his next visit. However, he would rather the Corinthians get ready for his visit by dealing with the troublemakers themselves. And that’s what you must do if you want to experience harmony and joy in your relationships. First…
GET READY.
Prepare yourselves by addressing the sin in your fellowship. Remove the unrepentant sinner from your group.
I wish I had learned this lesson before I started ministry. For early on in my ministry, I tried to reason with contentious people. I kept meeting with them, trying to defend myself. But instead of them gaining insight, they only beat me down time and time again with more and more criticism.
Then I was reading the book of Titus in the New Testament. There, Paul addressed a young pastor and said to him, “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (Titus 3:10-11).
I learned that instead of meeting with a contentious person time and time again, once or twice is enough. On one occasion, such a person left the church, because people stopped listening to him. That person had cast a cloud of discouragement over the entire ministry. And when he left, the clouds of discouragement dispersed and the church began to grow significantly.
Proverbs says, “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease” (Proverbs 22:10).
And that’s what we must be prepared to do if a contentious sinner among us refuses to repent. If we want to maintain (or restore) harmony and joy in our relationships, we must drive out the unrepentant sinner.
Most of the time, we can be “weak” (so-called), i.e., gentle and humble, in our dealings with each other. But there are times when we must be strong to drive out the unrepentant troublemaker.
I like the way Joni Eareckson Tada put it when she described her visit with Corrie ten Boom. Joni Eareckson Tada has been paralyzed all her adult life due to a diving accident when she was 17. She visited Corrie ten Boom, who had survived a Nazi Concentration Camp many years previously. Joni says:
I relive each moment of my visit with Corrie ten Boom (at that time paralyzed by a stroke). I recall how our eyes met as we were fed our cucumber sandwiches. Helpless and for the most part dependent, I felt our mutual weakness. Yet I am certain neither of us had ever felt stronger. It makes me think of the Cross of Christ—a symbol of weakness and humiliation, yet at the same time, a symbol of victory and strength…
For a wheelchair may confine a body that is wasting away. But no wheelchair can confine the soul, ... the soul that is inwardly renewed day by day. For paralyzed people can walk with the Lord. Speechless people can talk with the Almighty. Sightless people can see Jesus. Deaf people can hear the Word of God. And those like Tante Corrie, their minds shadowy and obscure, can have the very mind of Christ (Joni Eareckson Tada, “My Heart Sings,” Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no. 1; www.PreachingToday.com).
It's in our weakness that we find His strength, strength enough to deal with the unrepentant, contentious sinner.
If you want to experience harmony and joy in your relationships, 1st, Get ready—Prepare yourselves by addressing the sin in your fellowship. Then 2nd…
GET REAL.
Prove yourselves to be true believers in Christ. Test yourselves to make sure your faith in Christ is genuine.
It’s easy to see the sin in others, but not so much in ourselves. So Paul says…
2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! (ESV)
The word “test” means to prove something genuine. James 1 talks about “trials of various kinds,” which “test your faith” (James 1:2-3). I.e., those trials prove that your faith in genuine. Well, here, Paul says prove that your faith is genuine by the way you live your life.
2 Corinthians 13:6-7 I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test. But we pray to God that you may not do wrong—not that we may appear to have met the test, but that you may do what is right, though we may seem to have failed (ESV).
Even though some accused Paul of being a fake, a failure, Paul is more concerned that they prove to be genuine, that they do what is right.
So test yourself to make sure your faith is genuine. Ask yourself some questions to see if you really believe. 1st, ask yourself, “How do I handle trials of various kinds? Do I persevere to maturity or let those trials defeat me (James 1:2-4)? 2nd, ask yourself, “Do I love my brothers and sisters in Christ” (1 John 3:14)? 3rd, ask yourself, “Do I practice righteousness rather than sin” (1 John 2:29; 3:9)?
If you fail these tests, don’t try harder. Instead, trust Jesus with your life.
You see, there are a lot of people who trust in a prayer they prayed when they were young. They trust in walking an aisle. They trust in putting up their hand in response to an invitation. They are trusting in something they did—maybe it’s their baptism or passing a confirmation class—but they are not trusting in Christ Himself. Then they wonder why their life is no better.
If that’s you, then transfer your trust from something you did to what Christ did for you on the cross. Commit your life to Christ and let Him live His life through you. Don’t try to pass the test in your own strength. Let Christ pass the test for and through you!
Virginia college sophomore Danny Foley just wanted to be part of his school's men's basketball team—even if that meant faking his way onto the court. Danny noticed that all of his team's assistant coaches wore the same suit with a bright orange tie. So before Virginia's conference championship game against Duke on March 16, 2014, he and his friends went searching for some cheap knockoffs. He found everything he needed at Walmart—a suit jacket, suit pants, dress shoes, dress socks, a white dress shirt, and the orange tie.
The next morning, he bought $30 nosebleed tickets just to get in the door and headed to the game. During a TV timeout, Danny made a move, confidently marching past an usher and onto the court. Danny said, “I walked right behind the cheerleaders and onto the court and joined the [team's] huddle on the court.”
Following his team's big win, he went for an even bigger thrill. When the game's final buzzer sounded with Virginia defeating Duke 72-63, Danny joined his “teammates” in the handshake line. As the confetti fell around him, Danny got to shake hands with “Coach K,” the legendary coach for Duke. Photos from the end of the game show Danny wearing a championship t-shirt over his suit and smiling in the middle of the confetti-covered arena.
After celebrating with coaches and players, a member of Virginia’s staff was caught Danny for the imposter that he was. But Danny quickly climbed the railings and disappeared into the stands (Joshua Gardner, “Hidden in plain sight: Student uses orange Walmart tie to help him sneak into UVA huddle just before historic ACC win,” Daily Mail, 3-20-14; www.PreachingToday.com).
Tell me. Are you, like Danny, faking your way through the Christian life? Have you bought the suit and tie without really joining the team? Are you a new person in Christ, or are you the same person with just a new tie? Test yourself to see if your faith in Christ is genuine. If not, then put your faith in Christ and trust Him with your life.
If you want to experience harmony and joy in your relationships, 1st, Get ready—prepare yourselves by dealing with the sin in your fellowship. 2nd, Get real—Prove yourselves to be true believers in Christ. And 3rd…
GET RIGHT.
Perfect yourselves in the faith. In dependence upon Christ, equip yourself to follow Him.
2 Corinthians 13:8 For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth (ESV).
No matter how hard you try, you cannot defeat the truth. It always prevails. So even if you are working against the truth, you are actually working for it. Your lack of integrity only illuminates the truth even more—like a diamond on black felt.
2 Corinthians 13:9-10 For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for. For this reason I write these things while I am away from you, that when I come I may not have to be severe in my use of the authority that the Lord has given me for building up and not for tearing down (ESV).
Paul’s goal is their restoration. That’s why he writes this letter, so he doesn’t have use his authority at his next visit to force them into it.
Now, the word “restoration” means “to make someone completely adequate or sufficient, to cause someone to be fully qualified (Louw & Nida). In Bible days, people used the same word to describe setting a broken bone, outfitting a ship for voyage, or mending broken nets (Matthew 4:21). In each case, someone is preparing a vessel to function well.
In Galatians 6, Paul charges mature believers to “restore” the one caught in any transgression (Galatians 6:1)—same word. In Ephesians 4, Paul says the church leader’s job is to “equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:11)—also the same word in the original Greek. Here, Paul wants his readers to fully qualified, prepared and equipped to serve Jesus well.
Imagine that you’re sitting comfortably in your airline seat when a flight attendant’s voice breaks through the silence: “Ladies and gentlemen, both pilots are incapacitated. Are there any passengers who could land this plane with assistance from air traffic control?”
I’d freak out, but surveys reveal that 30% of adult Americans think they could do it. Among male respondents, the confidence level rose to nearly 50%.
We’ve all heard stories of passengers who saved the day when the pilot became unresponsive. For instance, in 2022, Darren Harrison managed to land a twin-engine aircraft in Florida – after the pilot passed out – with the guidance of an air traffic controller. However, that was in a small plane. Flying a large commercial jet is much more difficult.
Pilots say landing is complicated and requires having precise control of the aircraft’s direction and descent rate. To land successfully, a pilot must keep an appropriate speed while simultaneously managing gear and flap configuration, adhering to air traffic regulations, communicating with air traffic control, and completing a number of paper and digital checklists.
Once the aircraft comes close to the runway, they must accurately judge its height, reduce power, and adjust the rate of descent – ensuring they land on the correct area of the runway. On the ground, they will use the brakes and reverse thrust to bring the aircraft to a complete stop before the runway ends. This all happens within just a few minutes.
Seasoned pilots say both takeoff and landing are far too quick, technical, and concentration-intensive for an untrained person to pull off. So, if you’ve never learned the basics of flying, your chances of successfully landing a passenger aircraft with air traffic control’s help are close to zero (Carim Jr., Campbell, Marques, Ike, & Ryley, “Shocking number of people think they could land an airplane — Experts disagree,” Study Finds, 11-29-23; www.PreachingToday.com).
People often overestimate their abilities and underestimate their shortcomings. Please, avoid doing that yourself. Instead, accurately assess your own abilities and seek to become better equipped to serve.
In Romans 12, Paul urgers every believer “not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3).
I don’t care who you are or what you have done, there is always room for improvement. So don’t stop learning. Instead, with God’s help, keep on perfecting yourself in the faith.
If you want to experience harmony and joy in your relationships, 1st, Get ready—Prepare yourselves by dealing with the sin in your fellowship. 2nd, Get real—Prove yourselves to be true believers in Christ. 3rd, Get right—Perfect yourselves in the faith. Then…
GET ALONG.
Live in peace with each other. Tune yourselves to make beautiful music together.
2 Corinthians 13:11-13 Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you (ESV).
Choose to rejoice instead of complaining. Choose to grow instead of remaining stagnant. Choose to help each other instead of ignoring each other. Choose to agree instead of fighting each other. Choose to greet one another instead of ignoring each other. This is how we live in peace with each other and enjoy harmony in our relationships.
Warren Wiersbe says, “Balanced Christian growth and ministry is impossible in isolation… You can no more raise one Christian than you can raise one bee. Christians belong to each other and need each other. A baby must grow up in a loving family if it is to be balanced and normal. The emphasis today on the “individual Christian,” as apart from his place in a local assembly, is wrong and very dangerous. We are sheep, and we must flock together. We are members of the same body, and we must minister to one another” (Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary).
How right he is! We must get along to move along in our spiritual growth.
30 years ago (1995), Colin Powell, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff under George H. W. Bush, wrote in his autobiography words that apply just as much today as they did then, if not more so. He wrote:
“On the speech circuit, I tell a story that goes to the heart of America's longing. ABC correspondent Sam Donaldson was interviewing a young African-American soldier in a tank platoon on the eve of the battle in Desert Storm. Donaldson asked, ‘How do you think the battle will go? Are you afraid?’
“’We'll do okay. We're well trained. And I'm not afraid,’ the GI answered, gesturing toward his buddies around him. ‘I'm not afraid because I'm with my family.’
“The other soldiers shouted, ‘Tell him again. He didn't hear you.’ The soldier repeated, ‘This is my family, and we'll take care of each other.’”
Powell said, “That story never fails to touch me or the audience. It is a metaphor for what we have to do as a nation. We have to start thinking of America as a family. We have to stop screeching at each other, stop hurting each other, and instead start caring for, sacrificing for, and sharing with each other. We have to stop constantly criticizing, which is the way of the malcontent, and instead get back to the can-do attitude that made America. We have to keep trying, and risk failing, in order to solve this country's problems. We cannot move forward if cynics and critics swoop down and pick apart anything that goes wrong to a point where we lose sight of what is right, decent, and uniquely good about America” (Colin Powell, My American Journey: An Autobiography, Random House, 1995; www.PreachingToday. com).
Our nation needs to take those words to heart today! Let it begin with the church. Let us show the way by the way we treat each other despite our differences.
If you want to experience harmony and joy in your relationships, 1st, Get ready—Prepare yourselves by dealing with the sin in your fellowship. 2nd, Get real—Prove yourselves to be true believers in Christ. 3rd, Get right—Perfect yourselves in the faith. Then get along—live in peace with each other.
But don’t attempt it in your own strength. Look to God, who alone can bring us together.
That’s why Paul ends with this benediction.
2 Corinthians 13:14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all (ESV).
Only with the grace of Jesus, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Spirit can we enjoy harmony and joy in our relationships.
A. W. Tozer, in his book The Pursuit of God, asked the question, “Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So, one hundred worshipers met together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become “unity” conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship (A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Simon & Brown, reprint 2018, p. 63; www. PreachingToday.com).
Look away to Christ, for when our hearts are tuned to Him, we are in tune with each other.
