We read in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (ESV)
The word of God admonishes us to think on those things that are true, but every day we receive so many mixed messages that confuse us with what is true, and what is not. The one thing that is enduring and steadfast is God’s word, and we can therefore go back to it every time to understand what is true.
We looked at the aspect of family in the last sermon which we will continue to discover more about the same. Since God established the family, we will try to fathom how and why God designed the family. These are days when there is a huge shift on what family is all about. Society is changing, and the one establishment that is most jolted is that of the family. The reason for this is that since God instituted marriage, the devil is all out to destroy this divinely ordained institution. However, if we are aware of the enemy’s schemes, we will be well equipped to handle all his attacks, and safeguard our families from all harm.
The question on divorce
We read in Matthew 19:3, The Pharisees were intent on putting Jesus to the test with difficult questions, so they approached him and asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” (TPT)
The question that the Pharisees posed to Jesus was if a husband can divorce his wife for any reason. Isn’t it interesting to note that for those of us who think that divorce is an issue that is prevalent today, we realize that this was a serious issue over two thousand years ago even when Jesus was here on the earth? The problems of marriage and divorce are therefore not new, but have been there in the past from generation to generation. These Pharisees who asked Jesus this question were religious leaders who were well versed with the scriptures, and who also taught others. One can imagine that if there was confusion in the minds of those who taught, how much more confusion would have been in the minds of those who heard them.
We read in Malachi 2:7, “For the priest's lips should keep knowledge, and the people should seek the law at his mouth; for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts.” (AFV)
The duty of the priest was to utter words of knowledge so that the people receive the right instruction from his lips. It is therefore of utmost importance that the leaders we go to seek counsel should be godly ones, who have a close relationship with God, and a deep understanding of God’s word. If not, the counsel they give would be worldly counsel, and not one that God approves of.
Seek godly counsel
We live in times where there are many who promulgate that the bible is not practical for our life today. The word of God reminds us that heaven and earth may pass away, but God’s word will never fail or change. Therefore, if we want to be good counsellors, and help others walk in God’s way, it is possible only if we remain in God’s word, and have a close walk with Him every day.
One mistake that many people make when they have conflict in their marriage is to go to their ungodly friends, and seek their advice. These friends will give counsel as they see fit, based on their own experiences, which would often prove detrimental to the marriage relationship. There are also those who will give suggestions which they themselves would not have tried, which would cause greater confusion in the family. Let us be cautious about who we seek counsel from in matters pertaining to our relationship with our spouse or in matters pertaining to our family.
The man of God who is called to preach or teach His word, should be careful to only teach based on the word of God, and should not use any form of fabrication of the truth.
Don’t test the Lord
In Matthew 19:3, the Pharisees got together just to test Jesus. These kind of people always functioned as groups. They were annoyed that the people who were listening to their teaching, were now thronging to hear the words of Jesus. By trapping Jesus they thought they could gain the respect of the people who were flocking after Him.
Sadly, even today there is a group of people who are fault-finders, whose only goal is to find out what is not right with others. As children of God we should avoid such groups, as they would be worthless, and would result in us losing our blessings as well.
This question that the Pharisees asked Jesus was a well thought of one, knowing that this was the issue in many families. The question they asked Jesus as found in Matthew 19:3 was one that was used as a test for Jesus.
We are reminded of a similar test that Jesus faced in Luke 4:2, for forty days, being tempted by the devil. (ESV)
The devil is otherwise referred to as the tempter. Satan tempts us so that we will be instigated to do those things that are contrary to the word of God, and the will of God for our lives. Therefore the ones who came and tested Jesus with this question did not do so because they were God-led or led by their own selfish thoughts, but were influenced by Satan to test Jesus in this way. They only had the appearance of godliness on the outside.
God’s plan from the beginning
If we delve deeper into that question, they wanted to know from Jesus the reasons a man could divorce his wife. Let us listen to the response that Jesus gave as mentioned below.
In Matthew 19:4, “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’”(NLT)
The Lord had to remind them that in the very beginning God had created them as male and female. Whenever, there is a controversy between the word and the world, it is wise for us to go back to the scriptures just as Jesus did. If we can understand why God created the family in the first place, and what is His plan for the family, many of the questions and doubts that arise in our minds will be laid to rest. For those who argue as to why a man cannot have more than one wife, and why same gender marriages are not permissible, the answer is plain in God’s word. In the beginning God created them and male and female, and it was His divine plan to do so.
Today we are constantly flooded with messages from society that make appear that many of these things are acceptable. In days gone by the family was held in high esteem, and it was a rarity to hear about divorce as society too frowned upon it. These days however, this has become common place, and nowadays there is no longer a feeling of remorse or regret over these matters. If we desire to get things back in order then we have to get back to God’s word as it was from the beginning. When wrongs are done repeatedly, they tend to create a feeling of callousness and acceptance.
Conflict and differences in marriage have always been there, but in days bygone people worked hard to sort out these differences, and worked towards staying together no matter what. The present-day situation is such that people want to divorce for the most insignificant reasons possible. Sometimes, couples don’t stay together even for a week and separate, citing that they just couldn’t get along with each other.
Let us be reminded that the holy word of God does not permit a husband and wife who have been united in marriage to be separated this way, for this is not God’s will.
Leave and cleave
We read in Matthew 19:5, And God said, 'That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two people will become one.' (ERV)
Jesus said, ‘That is why’ meaning that in the very beginning God instituted marriage, when He took the rib out of Adam’s side, created Eve and gave her to him as a help meet for him. Jesus went on further to mention that for this reason a man is to leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife. While the relationship with the parents had to be distanced, the other relationship with the wife had to be held on to more closely. It does not mean we neglect our parents, but implies that one has to value the relationship with his wife as far greater than the relationship he had with his parents. Moreover, God made them one flesh by uniting them in marriage. Jesus had to remind the Pharisees that He was just quoting scriptures that they were already well versed in.
Marriage is a special relationship
In Genesis 2:23 we read, “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” (NLT)
This was the cry of exclamation when Adam beheld this woman that God had created from his rib, and immediately recognized her to be his wife. This is an extraordinary relationship likened to none other. Though a woman gives birth to a child after bearing him or her for around forty weeks, the relationship she has with her husband cannot be compared to the relationship she has with her child.
If you are wondering why this is such a unique relationship, this was the very first relationship that God Himself established, when he made woman out of the rib of man as a companion suitable for him. Children were born to them only after God instituted this relationship. Therefore, we understand that the relationship between a husband and wife is most unique, and precious in the sight of God.
Marriage is a sacred relationship
Let’s read what the word of God says about this relationship in Ephesians 5:28, Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self. (TPT)
Just as a man would take utmost care of his body, so too a husband is exhorted to extend that exact same care to his wife as well. He further reiterates that the one who truly loves his wife, loves himself. The contrary then is that if a man abuses his wife, he is abusing himself too.
Set proper boundaries
The relationship between a husband and wife is a special one, and it is important to realize that one should not give room for outsiders to interfere in this God-ordained relationships. Many families are like houses with no fence or compound wall. Nowadays, there are people who are so wise that even before they build a house, they make sure to have the boundary walls are built so no one can intrude into their property. Imagine a house that has no wall or fence around it. This will certainly be a welcome for any and every stray animal that is found in the vicinity. The reason for this is that there is no set boundary.
Unfortunately, many families have no such boundaries set for themselves, which makes them easy targets for unnecessary intruders. These trouble makers will say their bit and go away, leaving the family in confusion and chaos. We must therefore be cautious as to who we entertain as families, and to set boundaries too, failing which our families will certainly be in turmoil.
We also read in Ephesians 5:29, No one abuses his own body, but pampers it—serving and satisfying its needs. That’s exactly what Christ does for his church! (TPT)
No one in their sane mind will hurt their bodies in any way. People who do so are generally not in the right frame of mind. So also, a husband who abuses his wife or vice versa cannot be considered to be in a healthy state of mind. The most amazing part of this verse is that the relationship between the husband and wife is equated to the sacred relationship between Christ and the church. This helps us understand that not only is this relationship between husband and wife special, this relationship is also sacred in the sight of God.
We further read in Ephesians 5:30-32, “He serves and satisfies us as members of his body. For this reason a man is to leave his father and his mother and lovingly hold to his wife, since the two have become joined as one flesh. Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery—meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church.” (TPT)
These are the very same words that was declared by God at the beginning of creation, which Jesus reinforced in the New Testament, and later on was taught during the time of the apostles. We can therefore understand that God has an awesome design, and plan for the family. Every family is God’s divine plan, and every husband should tell himself that his wife is God’s gift to him, and that their family is blessed because of her. So also, the wife should say and feel the same about her husband.
This relationship is also mysterious because it is being compared to the relationship between Christ and His church. The bible tells us that when two or three are gathered together in God’s name, He is there in their midst. We can therefore surmise, that when a husband and wife are in one accord, the Lord is with them, and He blesses them. When the Lord is with a family, He will help them encounter every hardship, and challenging situation so they can come out victorious.
Since the husband and wife are one flesh, there must be love and concern for each other as one would care for one’s own body. For instance if a thorn were to pierce our foot, our mouth would never ignore it, and say it is ok. The mouth instantly cries out in pain, and the hand is quick to react to get the thorn out of the foot. So also, when the wife is in any sort of pain or trouble, the husband must be the one who will rush in to help her out. This is God’s will and plan for every husband and wife. If for some reason things are not that good in your family, and you are encountered with many conflicts or differences, seek the Lord, and He will transform your family life, for He is our living God. God is willing, and waiting to help us overcome all the storms that our families face, and He will make our families places of unimaginable blessing.
Let us be reminded that God established the family and it is His will that our families should be havens of love, care, support, peace, health and abundance. The enemy is out to attack our families by bringing in quarrels, misunderstanding, differences and hurtful words, thereby causing disruption to our families. We must understand the schemes of Satan, and if as husband and wife we can pray together, we can overcome all the fiery darts of the evil one against our families.
May we realize how special and sacred our relationship with each other is, as husband and wife. Let us desire to live as God ordained us to live, be cautious to set the right boundaries, fulfilling God’s purposes for our families, for only then we can be sure that God’s blessings will remain on us, and on our children and their children.
Rev. F. Andrew Dixon
www.goodnewsfriends.net
Transcribed by: Sis. Esther Collins
