Facing your past with God
Genesis 32:1-28
16 March 2025
Last time in our Dust to Life series, we saw how God called Jacob to leave Haran and how Jacob made his peace with his father-in-law Laban. We are in chapter 32 today where Jacob now comes face-to-face with God. Before this happens, however, he has to face his past.
1 Now as Jacob went on his way, the angels of God met him. 2 And when he saw them, Jacob said, “This is God’s camp.” So he named that place Mahanaim. 3 Then Jacob sent messengers ahead of himself to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He commanded them, saying, “This is what you shall say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says the following: “I have resided with Laban, and stayed until now; 5 and I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, and male and female servants; and I have sent messengers to tell my lord, so that I may find favor in your sight.”’”
6 And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau, and furthermore he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”
7 Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed; and he divided the people who were with him, and the flocks, the herds, and the camels, into two companies; 8 for he said, “If Esau comes to the one company and attacks it, then the company which is left will escape.”
9 Then Jacob said, “God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, LORD, who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10 I am unworthy of all the favor and of all the faithfulness, which You have shown to Your servant; for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies. 11 Save me, please, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me and the mothers with the children. 12 For You said, ‘I will assuredly make you prosper and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be counted.’”
13 So he spent the night there. Then he selected from what he had with him a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty milking camels and their colts, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 Then he placed them in the care of his servants, every flock by itself, and said to his servants, “Pass on ahead of me, and put a space between flocks.” 17 And he commanded the one in front, saying, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, saying, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and to whom do these animals in front of you belong?’ 18 then you shall say, ‘These belong to your servant Jacob; it is a gift sent to my lord Esau. And behold, he also is behind us.’” 19 Then he commanded also the second and the third, and all those who followed the flocks, saying, “In this way you shall speak to Esau when you find him; 20 and you shall say, ‘Behold, your servant Jacob also is behind us.’” For he said, “I will appease him with the gift that goes ahead of me. Then afterward I will see his face; perhaps he will accept me.” 21 So the gift passed on ahead of him, while he himself spent that night in the camp. 22 Now he got up that same night and took his two wives, his two female slaves, and his eleven children, and crossed the shallow place of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream. And he sent across whatever he had. 24 Then Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was dislocated while he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.” But he said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have contended with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
We can see the following in this passage:
? God promises His presence
? Jacob panics
? Jacob prays
? Jacob prevails
1. God promises His presence
As Jacob is preparing to face an encounter with his estranged brother after 20 years of no contact, a camp of angels meet him. He names the place Mahanaim which means “two camps”: the place where the human camp met the angelic camp. Was this camp of angels there to protect him as he traveled back to Canaan or to protect him against his brother? Most likely both.
The good thing was that Jacob was now ready to face his brother after all this time - ready to face his fears. God sent angels to comfort and protect him and his family as he was obeying what He told him to do by going back to Canaan.
The Word of God tells us that angels encamp around those who fear Him and rescue them (Ps 37:4), they minister and serve those who will inherit salvation (Hebr 1:14), and though largely unseen, angels watch over us and work for our good. But some people ask, if we have guardian angels then why do bad things happen? Why don’t the angels always intervene when calamity strikes? We may not always understand God’s ways or timing but Billy Graham wrote,
Angel hosts who witness everything that transpires in our world are not free to bear up the righteous and deliver the oppressed until God gives the signal.
Graham related a story:
When I was visiting the American troops during the Korean War, I was told of a small group of American marines in the First Division who had been trapped up north. With the thermometer at twenty degrees below zero, they were close to freezing to death. And they had had nothing to eat for six days. Surrender to the enemy seemed their only hope of survival. But one of the men, a Christian, pointed out certain verses of Scripture and taught his comrades to sing a song of praise to God. Following this they heard a crashing noise and turned to see a wild boar rushing toward them. As they tried to jump out of his way, he suddenly stopped in his tracks. One of the soldiers raised his rifle to shoot, but before he could fire, the boar inexplicably toppled over. They rushed up to kill him only to find that he was already dead. That night they feasted on meat and began to regain their strength.
The next morning just as the sun was rising, they heard another noise. Their fear that an enemy patrol had discovered them suddenly vanished as they found themselves face to face with a South Korean who could speak English. He said, “I will show you out.” He led them through the forest and mountains to safety behind their own lines. When they looked up to thank him, they found he had disappeared.
At every major transition in life Jacob had a meeting with God or some angels. When his brother was planning to kill him and he was on the run, he had an unexpected meeting with God at Bethel, after working for Laban for 14 years in Haran God told him in a dream to move to Canaan, and now as he is traveling back to Canaan to face his estranged brother, he meets a camp of angels.
Ever been in that place, a place of change, a difficult and dark place and God shows up? Once Pearl and I were in Moscow at a conference and we got lost going back to our hotel. It was late at night and suddenly a man appeared, who spoke English (mind you this was over 30 years ago when almost no one spoke English there), and told us how to get back to our hotel. There was no Google or Apple maps back then. However, we started to question whether he was an angel after he offered us some vodka, but who knows?
God was reminding Jacob, that He was with him, that he didn’t have to face his fears alone, and that He would be with him till the end. Jacob’s relationship with God had changed and he knew he couldn’t go any further until he was reconciled with his brother. Even though Jacob didn’t need to see his brother, as he wasn’t on the way, he wanted to make things right which shows us something of Jacob’s character.
You probably heard the saying, “Life is relationships - everything else is details.” We know it isn’t good to have unresolved conflicts between ourselves and others. Many times instead of facing our fears we hope the problem goes away by itself. Time doesn’t heal wounds - though time may dull the pain. A physical wound, with proper care, can heal completely over time but emotional wounds, if left unattended, can fester and cause lasting harm. Ignoring emotional pain is like neglecting a deep cut - both can lead to devastating consequences. But when you are willing to face painful issues between myself and another person, God will be with you to comfort and bring healing.
In Jacob’s case, the angels were with him to protect him and he humbled himself, trying to anticipate Esau’s thinking and to answer his concerns. He sent messengers to him about his peaceful intentions and was basically saying, “I am your servant and just want to “reconnect” - to be in good relationship with you - to have the opportunity to bless you. This is the message he sends but then finds out Esau was coming to meet him with 400 men. They gave no word from Esau and no reason for Esau’s entourage. Can you imagine what was going through Jacob’s mind when he heard that? Remember when his grandfather Abraham assembled 318 men for a rescue mission (Gen 14:14)? Jacob’s brother has gathered 400 men on what Jacob believes is a search-and-destroy mission. In a moment Jacob had forgotten the supernatural and was only focused on survival. Even though God was there and the angels were encamped around him:
2. Jacob panics
Have you ever panicked? Had feelings of possible entrapment, perception of closing exits because of a present threat, that created fear, hysterical belief and mobilization for flight? When we are in a panic, we become irrational and then things just spiral downward - we lose a sense of reality and common sense. I do not know if Jacob had a “panic attack” but in his mind he believed the worst possible scenario.
The Psalmist describes his own time of panic:
My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking. Oh that I had wing like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! (Ps 55:4-6).
But later in the Psalm, David turned his panic into prayer:
But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, though many still oppose me. As for me, I shall call upon God, And the LORD will save me (16-18).
David then tells others to:
Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall (22).
Jacob had devised his own plan but that didn’t give him any real assurance so now:
3. Jacob prays
(9-12) Jacob’s prayer was one of humility and self-reflection, and he understood that he wasn’t worthy of God’s goodness. “Why would God be faithful to me after all these years with all my shortcomings? Why would you even bless me?” Jacob prayed honestly and in earnestness, “God, save me and my family.”
He remembered what God had promised and prayed according to His Word. He reflected on the promise that God would prosper him and make the number of his descendants so great that they couldn’t be counted and he believed God.
Spurgeon said:
Beloved, I say to you, one and all, study much the promises of God’s word! Have them at your fingers’ ends. Remember what things God has said to men, and when he has said them, and to what kind of men he has said them, and discover by this means how far he has said them to you.”
Jacob prayed according to the promises and then he slept on it. But the next day he went back to his old plan of dividing up his flocks and herds with his servants in order to present them as a gift to appease his brother. “Appease” here is the word for atonement - bringing the sacrifice before the face of God, in this case it was before the face of his brother. He sent the gifts in waves, hoping each wave would gradually decrease his brother's wrath. He was hoping to cover over all the injury he had caused and his brother would accept him, in other words, that “he will raise my face” (he will forgive me).”
4. Jacob prevails
After 20 years Jacob was coming face-to-face with the guilt and the pain of what he did to his brother. He sent everything, including his family over to Esau hoping he would change. He was willing to give up his possessions, his family, even his blessing and birthright. Everything except himself. Most of us know the song - I surrender all - but Jacob sang, “I surrender most but not all.” Even with all his stuff, all his distractions he couldn’t escape his past, he couldn’t go on ignoring it - it needed to be resolved. In reality he couldn’t face his past or his brother until he came face-to-face with God. Jacob tried to live his life and handle his challenges as “Jacob,” in the energy of Jacob but it wasn’t working. Now he’s alone.
I think Jacob would have been content to be left alone but in verse 24, in the dead and darkness of night, a Man wrestled with Jacob until daybreak. It was God wrestling with Jacob, not the other way around. I don’t think Jacob realized who it was at first but wrestling was nothing new to Jacob. Jacob had wrestled with his brother in the womb and in life, and then with his father (Gen 27), and then with his father-in-law (Gen 29—31), and now with God (Gen 32). Jacob had always struggled with both man and God.
How often does God have to wrestle with us, through His word and His Spirit to bring something to our attention? He’ll wrestle with us until we come to the end of ourselves, until we see the issue for what it is, until He is first. He wrestles with us in a way that brings us to a place of dependence and until we surrender to Him. God had to simply touch the socket of Jacob’s hip and dislocated it so he could not stand on his own. God asked “what is your name?” Jacob finally answered honestly, “I’m Jacob” – the liar, the cheat, the heal snatcher – what a confession. God said you will no longer be called Jacob but Israel (prince of God). This is who you are, this is your new life, this is how you are live and think about yourself. Yes, sometimes you will go back and try to live in the old life but the only way to effectively face your past is to know you are in Me.
Jonathan Roumie (who plays Jesus in the Chosen) recently gave his testimony on a very liberal TV show called “The View.” He was asked how he as an actor was he able to “stay the course.” He replied that he had moved to Hollywood to pursue an acting career but for eight years had to work odd jobs, ran out of money, had no food, and even ran out of government assistance money. He had done everything he felt was possible but he said the only thing that hadn’t done which was the most necessary to do, “was to get on my knees and surrender my life and career and leave everything up to Jesus.” He said it was that day when he surrendered all to God that within hours he received a financial miracle and three months later he was hired to play the role of Jesus on the Chosen.
Life is relationships and when something comes between us and our relationship with others or with God Himself, He will wrestle with us until we surrender these things to Him so that these things don’t fester. It’s so our relationship with Him and each other will be healthy, strengthened, and whole.
