By a show of hands, who is going for the Chiefs tonight? Who is going for the Eagles? Who could care less?
You know, it’s interesting how people can be so passionate for their favorite team in sports. But then I think about how passionate I can be for other things too. Like music. Like art. I care about those things like someone who loves sports. And I love certain singers or artists like someone who loves a certain football team who plays in the Super Bowl.
But let me ask you, if I were to say that I love my wife like I love music or art, would that be a fair comparison? Or if someone were to say, “Man, I love my girl like I love the Chiefs.” Or fill in the blank with whatever you tend to be very passionate about. How would you’re wife or honey feel about that? Would she like your love for her being equal to your love for football? And I also have to admit that many times it must feel like that to her. But is it fair? And if not, then why? Why should my love for her exceed my love for other things? Hopefully you know the answer to that question.
Last week we touched on the topic of the different levels of love or types of love. There’s love that is more of a like or preference, like I love hamburgers or ice-cream or pizza. There’s love that is because you enjoy something… you enjoy this experience that you had, so you say you love it. There’s love that means you are fond of something or someone.
There is love that is really just a feeling. Then there are deeper forms of love that involve relationship, commitment, devotion, and even sacrifice. It’s about what you are able to give, not just what you receive. Love… true love! Meaning the greatest love. What did Jesus say was the greatest love? That he lay down his life for his friends. True love gives, not takes.
And true love gives even when it is not deserved.
Often a man has told a woman, “I love you,” when really he had a selfish love towards her. Sure, there were strong feelings in the heart — but they were feelings that wanted something from the other person. “It’s true you can say to a girl, ‘I love you,’ but what you really mean is something like this: ‘I want something. Not you, but something from you.’… This is the opposite of love, for love wants to give. Love seeks to make the other one happy, and not himself.” (Walter Trobisch in I Loved a Girl, cited by Boice)
Sometimes to truly understand something, it’s easier to look at and compare it to its exact opposite. What would you say is the exact opposite of love? How about hate?
Well, there is one book in the Bible that talks a lot about love and hate. So we’re going to look at that today. Would you turn with me now to 1 John chapter four?
Context- The author of this letter is of course John the Apostle, disciple of Jesus and last of the surviving Apostles. And it is believed that he wrote these words as an old man.
John wrote this to combat some of the heresies and false teachings that had confused many of the believers and turned some away. He wrote these words to help believers to know who belonged to the pure faith and to God and who were in fact sons of the devil… counterfeit Christians.
Do we have any of that today? Counterfeit Christianity? Are there some that wear the name, like wearing Chiefs jerseys or hats, but do not truly belong to the group? And how do you know? How can you be SURE that you belong to Christ? Well, John tells us. In fact, he spends a lot of time helping his readers to distinguish between the two.
We read in 1 John 4:20-21 NASB20 - If someone says, "I love God," and [yet] he hates his brother [or sister,] he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother [and sister] whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God must also love his brother [and sister.]
Now this one proof of being a true disciple of Christ is repeated throughout John’s letter. It’s also something that Jesus said to him and the other apostles.
Jesus said this shortly before laying down His own life for us on the cross…
John 13:35 NASB20 -
"By this all [people] will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another."
So if we don’t love one another, then how can they truly know that we are His disciples?
This scripture poses the question: How can someone who does not love others say that they love God? Earlier John states that anyone who hates his brother or sister is living in darkness and is blind. This implies that they are deceived; they are lost.
Are there people we hate? Are there people we secretly wish bad things to happen to or that they get their “come-up-ins”? Are there people that we actively, intentionally avoid because we can’t stand to be in their presence? Are there some people that if they died, you’d be tempted to spit on their grave?
1 John 4:7-8 NASB20 - Beloved, let's love one another; for love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
You see, scripture clearly teaches that if you belong to Christ, you will love others. If you know God and God lives in your heart… ie you live for Him… the God who is LOVE, then hate… for others does not, should not, cannot coexist. Oh sure we hate evil. We hate what God hates. We are told in 1 John to not love the world or the things of the world… the way of the world. But within our hearts a hatred for others is a true sign that we are not actively seeking and surrendering to God and His will for our lives. It is a clear sign that the Holy Spirit is not being allowed to grow His goodness in our hearts because something else exists there – bitterness, unforgiveness, and hate.
In the previous chapter John says some strong words that are sure to step on toes.
1 John 3:10-11, 14-18 NASB20 - By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother [and sister.] For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we are to love one another; ... [verse 14] We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers [and sisters.] The one who does not love remains in death. Everyone who hates his brother [or sister] is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him. We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers [and sisters.] But whoever has worldly goods and sees his brother [or sister] in need, and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God remain in him? Little children, let's not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
He’s saying if you harbor unforgiveness and hate in your heart, then you are essentially dead spiritually. You are not showing that you are born again. You are living the dead life.
And then he says the part that really gets me… if you hate your brother or sister in Christ, then you are a murderer! Wow!!! Wow!!! A murderer… because I hate somebody?! How dare he! Doesn’t he know what that… that jerk did to me? Continues to do to me? And I’m the murderer? Hmmm. Hard stuff, huh?
Charles Spurgeon is quoted as saying this- “Every man who hates another has the venom of murder in his veins. He may never actually take the deadly weapons into his hand and destroy life; but if he wishes that his brother were out of the way, if he would be glad if no such person existed, that feeling amounts to murder in the judgment of God.” (Spurgeon)
In verse 11 John gives us an example of hate… look there with me now… 3 verse 11.
1 John 3:11-12 NASB20 - For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we are to love one another; not as Cain, [who] was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And for what reason did he murder him? Because his [own] deeds were evil, but his brother's were righteous.
An example of hatred: Cain. As a negative example, John presents Cain, who was not right with God (his works were evil) and who hated his brother. Cain’s sin of hatred led to action against the one he hated (Genesis 4:8). He killed his own brother. And this is the danger we all face when we refuse to let go of the hate in our hearts. This is the temptation that we toy with like playing with fire.
To hate our brother is to murder him in our hearts. Though we may not carry out the action, we wish that person dead. Or, by ignoring another person, we may treat them as if they were dead.
What is the opposite of hate? Love.
How does he say we know love? He says over and over again reminding them that we know what real love is by what God did for us. What did He do? He gave His only begotten Son to die… for us sinners… that we might live and have eternal life… pass from death to life… be saved. Why did He do that? Because He SO LOVED THE WORLD.
Real love isn’t merely “felt” as an inward feeling; it is also shown by demonstration — and the ultimate demonstration was the giving of Jesus on the cross.
Romans 5:8 NASB20 - But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
You see, God’s love was not just words, but demonstrated by His action.
1 John 4:9-12 NASB20 says - By this the love of God was revealed in us, that God has sent His only Son into the world so that we may live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God remains in us, and His love is perfected in us.
What is propitiation? According to Noah Webster, propitiation is… The act of appeasing wrath and conciliating the favor of an offended person. Christ did this for us to reconcile us to God.
1 John 2:2 NASB20 says - and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for [the sins of] the whole world.
God is the offended one. He has every right to be offended by our sins. Our sins are an affront to the very nature of God, His holiness, His righteousness, and our sins are not only disobedience to God. They are idols! They are the things we choose instead of God to worship and to serve. This greatly offends God, who deserves our worship and obedience. We were the ones who wronged God. Yet God did something amazing. He took the initiative in order to bridge the gap and reconcile us to Him. He sent His Son to bear the wrath and punishment that we deserved to bring us to God.
Spurgeon says… “Jesus loved you when you lived carelessly, when you neglected his Word, when the knee was unbent in prayer. Ah! He loved some of you when you were in the dancing saloon, when you were in the playhouse, ay, even when you were in the brothel. He loved you when you were at hell’s gate, and drank damnation at every draught. He loved you when you could not have been worse or further from him than you were. Marvellous, O Christ, is thy strange love!” And he goes on to say: “Has anybody offended you? Seek reconciliation. ‘Oh, but I am the offended party.’ So was God, and he went straight away and sought reconciliation. Brother, do the same. ‘Oh, but I have been insulted.’ Just so: so was God: all the wrong was towards him, yet he sent. ‘Oh, but the party is so unworthy.’ So are you; but ‘God loved you and sent his Son.’ Go write according to that copy.” (Spurgeon)
The Bible says in 1 John 4:19 NASB20 - We love, because He first loved us.
And when we stop loving others it is because we have lost sight and forgotten just how much we have been loved when we did not deserve it. They… the world… will know that we belong to Christ not because of what or who we hate, but because of our love for one another. They will know us by our love. What abides in your heart this morning? Love or hate?
