Donn Moomaw, a football player who became a pastor, was preaching at the Bel Air Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles. After the service, a lady came up to him and said, “Oh, Reverend Moomaw, I just have to tell you that every sermon you preach is better than your next.”
He thanked her, but when he got home, he had to think that over. “Every sermon you preach is better than your next?” He felt a little deflated, since the statement implied that his sermons were getting worse! (Earl Palmer, “A Durable Hope,” Preaching Today, Tape No. 47; www.Preaching Today.com).
Sometimes, when people try to encourage you, it has the opposite effect.
So, how can you truly encourage the people who minister to you? How can you be a real blessing to those who have blessed you? How can you bring them genuine joy without unintentionally grieving them? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to 2 Corinthians 7, 2 Corinthians 7, where the Apostle Paul describes how the Corinthian believers caused him to “overflow with joy.”
2 Corinthians 7:2 Make room in your hearts for us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have taken advantage of no one (ESV).
The false teachers had accused Paul of doing all these things, trying to turn the hearts of the Corinthians against Paul. But Paul denies their accusations, urging the Corinthians to turn their hearts towards him again.
2 Corinthians 7:3-4 I do not say this to condemn you, for I said before that you are in our hearts, to die together and to live together. I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy (ESV).
Despite the accusations coming from false teachers, despite the hardships of ministry, the Corinthian believers comforted him. Literally, they came along side and helped him. They encouraged him, with the result that he was “overflowing with joy.”
Robert Hicks talks about the time when he was a pastor in Hawaii. His little congregation was near Kaneohe Marine Corps Air Station, so he always had a large supply of muscular recruits.
“The young, mostly single marines had great hearts but not much tact,” he said. “When out of uniform and away from their sergeant, they just stood around waiting for someone to tell them what to do next.”
Pastor Hicks says, “At one of our Sunday school complaint sessions, several women teachers described their discipline problems with young boys. They couldn't control them for the hour-long Bible lesson. They had tried everything and were ready to quit.”
Pastor Hicks had a flash of insight. He grabbed a couple of marines and told them to go into those rooms the next Sunday, pile a couple of boys under each arm, “rough them up, and sit on them.”
To the women, that strategy bordered on child abuse, but the boys viewed it as affection! Their discipline problems were solved in one Sunday. In one Sunday, Pastor Hicks said, “I came to realize every pastor needs a ‘few good men!’ (Robert Hicks, quoted in Men of Integrity, July/August 2000; www.PreachingToday.com).
God’s servants, whether in pastoral ministry or any other ministry, can get very discouraged. Ministry gets hard. They sometimes see little progress, and people unfairly criticize them. In those times, however, all they need is “a few good men” or women to come along side and help them.
I urge you, be that kind of man or woman. Come along side and help those who help you. Encourage the people who minister to you and bring them joy.
REFRESH THOSE WHO SERVE YOU.
So, how do you do that? Well, let’s read on and see how the Corinthian believers encouraged Paul.
2 Corinthians 7:5-7 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more (ESV).
Remember the circumstances surrounding these comments. Someone in the church at Corinth was causing a lot of trouble. So Paul made a quick, “painful visit” (2 Corinthians 2:1) to deal with the troublemaker. He followed that up by sending Titus to them with a letter he wrote “out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears” (2 Corinthians 2:4).
Then, Paul anxiously awaited Titus’ return and found no rest until he met Titus in Macedonia (north of Corinth). There, Titus told Paul how the Corinthians had responded to his letter, by mourning their actions and restoring their longing and zeal for Paul.
Paul’s painful visit and tearful letter had their intended effect. The Corinthians dealt with the problem and restored their relationship with Paul. Now, that’s what caused Paul to “overflow with joy,” and that’s how you can bring joy to those who serve you. If there’s a break in your relationship…
RECONCILE YOURSELF TO THEM.
Restore the relationship. Turn your hearts again to them.
Bill Buckner, spent 22 years as a first baseman and outfielder in the major leagues. He passed away at the age of 69 in 2019. Buckner led the league in doubles twice and finished in the top 10 for stolen bases twice as well. Buckner was the National League batting champion in 1980 and was an All-Star in 1981. Yet there is perhaps no player in MLB history whose career was defined more by one mistake than Buckner.
It was the fall of 1986. The Red Sox had a 3-2 series lead over the New York Mets. But in the top half of the 10th inning of Game 6 the Mets’ Mookie Wilson hit a roller to Buckner at first base that trickled through his legs and into the outfield.
The Mets scored on the play to win Game 6, and then won Game 7, as well to win the World Series. Buckner’s error at a clutch moment catapulted him atop the list of sports’ worst-ever blunders. After his playing days, he had to move away from the Boston area to Idaho due to the explosive rage of those around him.
Hard feelings between Buckner and Boston fans lasted for decades, but things began to change when the Red Sox finally won the World Series in 2004 and 2007. In 2008, Buckner returned to Fenway Park to throw out the first pitch of the home opener. He received a standing ovation that lasted nearly two minutes and brought tears to his eyes.
Buckner was a Christian, whose faith helped him overcome the past he couldn’t avoid. Buckner said, “I’m a person of faith. It’s life, and everybody has to deal with something. You’re talking about cancers and those things that are much more important than baseball. Spiritually, that helped me. I’ve had a lot of people call me and thank me for giving them directions to make it through” (Kevin Mercer, “Former MLB player Bill Buckner passes away, now 'in the arms of his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,'” Sports Spectrum, 5-28-19; www.PreachingToday.com).
Buckner had a firm faith in Christ that brought Him through the hard times. In fact, he was able to help others going through hard times of their own. Even so, when his former fans had a change of heart towards him, he shed tears of joy.
Do you want to bring genuine joy to people? Then, if there has been a breach in your relationship, change your heart towards them and restore the relationship. Reconcile yourself to them. But that can only happen if you…
REPENT.
Turn from your sin to the Lord. Change your ways in dependence upon Christ.
The Corinthian believers were moving in a direction away from sound doctrine to adopting the beliefs and behaviors of some false teachers, who had infiltrated their church. As a result, they had created divisions among themselves (1 Corinthians 1:10-17), condoned gross immorality (1 Corinthians 5), and sued one another before secular judges (1 Corinthians 6). They had also allowed disorder to take over their worship services (1 Corinthians 11—14), denied the resurrection (1 Corinthians 15), and neglected their commitments (1 Corinthians 16:1-11). The Corinthian church was quickly moving in the wrong direction, but Paul’s painful visit and tearful letter led them to change their ways.
2 Corinthians 7:8-9 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us (ESV).
Paul rejoiced, because the grief he caused led them to repent.
2 Corinthians 7:10-13a For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted (ESV).
Their change in behavior comforted or encouraged Paul. They now had an “earnestness” to make amends, an “eagerness” to vindicate themselves, and “indignation” against Paul’s opponent. Their godly grief also produced a “fear” (or alarm) at their own passivity, a “longing” and “zeal” for Paul, and a readiness to “punish” the troublemaker, i.e., to see justice done (Lowery, BKC). Their godly grief produced repentance, which saved their church from destruction.
In the game of Monopoly, one of the “chance” cards directs the player to “return to GO and collect $200.” On the one hand, it seems to penalize the player; but on the other hand, it rewards the player.
Now, that’s what repentance does for you. It seems to penalize you as the grief causes you to turn around and go back, but only then do you experience the reward of your repentance—salvation (adapted from Jack Hayford, “Worship His Majesty,” Christianity Today, Vol. 32, no. 12; www.PreachingToday.com).
Please, if you’re going in the wrong direction, STOP, turn around and head in the right direction. Even if you’re a million miles away from God, all it takes is one step to return to Him. Please, by faith, take that step away from sin towards God today. The reward is not only your personal salvation, but reconciliation towards God and those you have hurt.
In his book, How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People, Pete Greig recalls the time he was driving his family to the movies when someone cut him off.
Pete yelled at the man, Pete’s wife yelled at him, and Pete yelled at his wife. “Hadn’t she seen how dangerously the other guy was driving? Had she forgotten that we had vulnerable children in the car? Didn't she know there was such a thing as righteous anger?” She'd gone silent.
They arrived at the cinema and enjoyed a great movie. Life moved on. No big deal, except later, in the stillness of a dark night, God convicted Pete. He sighed. “Okay, I'm sorry,” he said to God. “I admit it: I lost my temper. I shouldn't have yelled at that driver. Lord, help me to be more patient tomorrow.”
There was a pause before Pete sensed God telling him to apologize to his sons. This thought annoyed Pete, and he found himself protesting. “That's ridiculous, he said to God. “You're making this bigger than it is. My kids don't need me to apologize. They won't even remember such a trivial incident. Do you have any idea what the traffic is like around here?”
But ten minutes later, Pete was sitting on his son Hudson's bed. “Son, I just want to say sorry to you for something. Do you remember me yelling at that man on the way to the cinema?” Immediately, he nodded. “I shouldn't have done that. Mum was right. Christians are supposed to be patient and kind. I set you a bad example. That's not how I want you to grow up and treat people. I'm sorry.” Right away, Hudson put his arms around his dad’s neck and squeezed him tight. “That's okay, Dad,” he said.
A minute later, Pete was in the room next door, making the same speech to Danny, his other son, and the same thing happened. Danny immediately knew exactly what his dad was talking about. He hadn't forgotten either. He listened to Pete’s apology and didn't think it was crazy. He hugged his dad and told him it was okay.
Pete Greig comments, “It's a silly, mundane story, and that's the whole point. We are changed—conformed into the likeness of Christ—through a thousand small choices like these” (Pete Greig, How to Pray: A Simple Guide for Normal People, Navpress, 2019, pp. 176-177; www.PreachingToday.com).
Pete’s actions had grieved his wife and his sons. Even so, he restored his relationship with his family when he admitted he had done wrong and committed to change.
That’s what repentance is all about. Admit you’re going in the wrong direction and commit to going in the right direction.
If you have not yet trusted Christ with your life, that’s what you must do to be reconciled with God. Admit you’re going in the wrong direction and commit your life to Christ, who died for your sins and rose again. Unbeliever, please repent!
And dear believer, you must repent, as well—not to be saved from hell, but to be saved from ruining your relationships. For even us believers go astray every once in a while, which hurts those around us. So, please, when you step out of line, make the small choices to get back in line and let God continue to change you into the glorious likeness of His Son.
If you want to bring overflowing joy to people, refresh those who serve you. Reconcile yourself to them. Repent, and…
REMAIN TRUE TO THEM.
Reliably live up to their confidence in you. Prove them right in their boasts about you. That’s what the Corinthians did for Paul.
2 Corinthians 7:13b-16 And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you (ESV).
Paul rejoiced, because they did not betray his confidence in them. He told Titus they would do what’s right, and they lived up to Paul’s boast about them. Those who serve you really do think the best about you. Please, don’t disappoint them.
If you want to bring overflowing joy to those who serve you, refresh them, reconcile yourself to them, repent, and remain true to them.
In Leadership journal, Skye Jethani writes about the time when he was 18, his father, a doctor, learned what it was like to be a patient. He was diagnosed with cancer. His type was very survivable if caught early, but he required surgery to restore his health.
As he sat next to his dad in the waiting room before the operation, Skye says, “It was odd seeing him in a hospital not striding with confidence into a patient's room or giving orders at a nurses' station like a battleship commander—something Sky had witnessed many times as a boy accompanying his father on Saturday morning rounds. Instead, Skye’s dad sat in silence with his shoulders rolled and hands shaking.
“You know doctors make the worst patients,” Skye’s dad asked him.
“Why?” Skye asked.
“Because we know too much,” his dad replied. “We know the thousands of things that can go wrong that most people never imagine.”
Thankfully his cancer was caught early and he survived, but something important happened when the physician became the patient, when the expert became the examined. Skye said his dad “gained something that can't be taught in medical school or acquired from years of practicing medicine. Cancer gave him empathy. I saw his compassion for his patients grow following his own health crisis. Doctors may make the worst patients, but patients make the best doctors” (Skye Jethani, “Dreaded Exams,” Leadership Journal. March 2014; www.PreachingToday.com).
Your suffering uniquely qualifies you to encourage others, even those who encourage you. Please, in your pain don’t cause people pain. Instead, take the lessons you have learned in your pain and use them to encourage others in pain. For God doesn't bless you just to make you happy. God blesses you to make you a blessing (Warren Wiersbe).
