We have learned God's statutes for marriage. The world does not follow these statutes very well; they did not at the first of mankind, nor are they any better today.
Marriage is to be between a man and his chosen bride; one woman. In the Bible we see the selection of the wife is either by the father of the groom, or the groom himself. Oftentimes the bride was bargained for between the father of the groom and the father of the chosen bride; either way, the woman usually had little or no say in the matter. Jewish women accepted this format as it was handed down and held traditional. Perhaps, this was the teachings given to the women by prophets disclosing God’s will for the woman. God had put the woman into a position to be in subjection of man as man was formed first, then woman. (this we shall read in a moment in 1 Tim. 2:13-14)
As we continue our study of righteous behavior in the assembly of God, especially here in 1 Cor. 7, let us take into consideration the selection of the bride as we look further at laws concerning man and woman's positions within a marriage. With God's rules and traditions of men at the time of the writing by Paul, we can begin to understand the new regulations pertaining to married individuals; especially within God's universal laws for man and for woman. Those in Corinth were having difficulty sharing the laws of God for marriage, especially with a believer married to a non-believer. What should they do in this case?
Let us begin, again, our study in 1 Cor. 7 and verse 10. We begin with the concept of divorce. Is divorce a viable possibility to dissolve a marriage acceptable by God?
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
‘Let not the wife depart’ implies she has no right to leave the marriage. We know the man chooses the woman for a wife, not the woman choosing the man. This was the tradition we read in the Old Testament. Is this the reason for the statement a woman cannot depart the marriage? Or perhaps it might be for other reasons.
NOTICE: not only does the man choose the wife, the man is the head of the woman. 1 Cor. 11:3. 3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Also, the woman is subject to husband. (in every thing) Eph. 5:22-24. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. And, Col. 3:18. 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Under these teachings by Apostle Paul by the authority of God, the woman has no authority to leave the husband. Verse 10: ‘Let not the wife depart from her husband:’
We know in Gen. 3 God told the woman her husband would rule over her, and the woman was to be in submission as said by the Law. In 1 Cor. 14:34, Paul says, 34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. Obedience to who? God first who said she is to be in subjection to man. And, she is to be in subjection to her husband. By what authority? The Law of God. We, also, see in 2 Tim. 2:11-15, woman has no right to usurp authority over man. 11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
In this writing, we can assume the Gentiles had no such tradition or law in selection of a mate, nor the woman’s place within the marriage. This submission to man might not have been the belief of the women, thus, they did not question the marriage vow nor take it seriously as God intended her to be in subjection to a man.
The second point of note is the man is commanded not to ‘put away’ his wife. God has commanded man not to divorce his wife. He is commanded to love her. (Eph. 5:25)
Now, let us ask the question, Is a woman allowed to leave her husband? At first we might say NO! She has no authority to do so. We would look at verse 10 which says let her not depart. However, verse 11 says she can, with stipulations. She must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. Therefore, a divorce is not spoken about here for it is not allowed; she must reconcile with her husband. This also implies she is to have no sexual relationships with any other. The Hebrew man was not to take a wife back who had been defiled by another man. God says she must reconcile with her husband. She is to follow the law of God; 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (chapter 7:3)
Therefore, divorce is not permitted; separation is. Let us look further at a married couple’s situation in the assembly.
1 Cor. 7:12-13. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
Here we have a rule laid down by Apostle Paul, not the Lord. It appears to have been an acceptable teaching by the Holy Spirit. Paul is speaking to the believer, not the unbeliever. The believer is required to follow God’s laws to remain righteous. Believers are commanded to live in peace. Therefore, they are not to be like the unrighteous; do as they please in all matters. Believers are not allowed to instigate the separation. God commanded not to put away the wife.
Whether the believer is the man or the woman, the believer is not to violate the law of God concerning marriage. Malachi 2:16 says God hateth putting away. Neither man nor woman, who is a believer, can ‘put away’ the other spouse and be righteous before God.
Why is the believer not to instigate the separation? Vs. 14. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. The two have become one in body and spirit; they have become acceptable before God, and their children are now accepted by God. When God made the two one, their actions became sanctified before God whether both were believers or not. Now the whole family is cleansed and sanctified.
Can a departure or a dissolvement of the union be acceptable? Will God dissolve the marriage? Let us read 1 Cor. 7:15. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. We are to live in peace. What accomplishment does a marriage create if it is constantly being in strife over one believing in Jesus and God and the other not believing? It accomplishes nothing for the children, the neighbors, the family (in-laws) etc. Constant turmoil cannot attract the erring to righteousness. Constant turmoil in like manner cannot keep any believer righteous who is not living in peace. Too many temptations arise to cause iniquity before God.
By living in peace, a man or a woman who is righteous and a believer might attract the erring unbeliever. Let’s notice 1 Cor. 7:16-17. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. Living in peace might bring about a change of belief to the unbeliever and they might accept salvation from Jesus and God. A peaceful marriage between a believer and unbeliever creates a path for the power of God to work.
Here we have seen the directive by the Lord as well as a directive authorized to be permissible by the teaching of Apostle Paul through the Spirit. Verses 10-11 commanded by God not to divorce. And verse 15 as directed by Paul, if the unbeliever chooses to depart, let them depart. ‘A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.’
Strong’s Lexicon G1402 defines ‘bondage’ as: to be under bondage, held by constraint of law or necessity, in some matter. The believer is not held by constraint of the law of marriage. Therefore, the believer is to remain in faith unto God. They are no longer held or restrained by worldly problems therefore, they can meditate upon how to be pleasing unto Jesus to whom they are bound by a similar marriage law. They belong to Jesus as part of his bride, The Church.
What are the odds the unbeliever leaves and commits fornication? Probably great. What might be the ability of the believer to contain their sexual desires and control their urges for such pleasure? It would be difficult. One might surmise that one or both of the parties involved would commit sin. Now what? Now an adulterous situation has possibly developed. With temptation to sin by the world’s influence upon both parties, the chances are great both do commit sin before God. If adultery has occurred, scripture says the righteous party can remarry. Let us consider these verses again:
I believe we could go back to verse 2, …to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. And, verse 9, …if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. We must remember, Hebrews 13:4. 4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Each individual should consider themselves and pray much for guidance from God in these situations.
The first responsibility of the believer is to do as God commanded in the beginning–do not put away your spouse. We know only by the act of adultery shall a believer divorce their spouse. If the separation causes the believer to commit fornication because they cannot contain themselves, they have a greater sinful condition they must take up with God. However, God only will judge them for their sins.
If a believer desires to exit a marriage and intentionally commits fornication/adultery, that condition is very risky, however, it too is judged by God only. As righteous believers trying to be faithful toward God, we must teach all we can of these dangers. Remember, these situations were a part of the believers' former lives in Corinth. But they were washed, they were sanctified and they were justified by God. Their past sins were washed entirely away at baptism.
In today’s society, this issue has not diminished and is still a serious problem–even found within assemblies of God worldwide. How are we to behave in the assemblies of God? As Apostle Peter says, we must diligently seek the truth. We must convict our own hearts to comply as best we can and pray for the mercy and grace of God.
