The Father’s Place In The Home
As a husband becomes a father, his responsibility to his wife becomes greater because it now reaches out to the new responsibilities created by the children born into the home. As the father, he becomes responsible not only for feeding & clothing them, but God holds him responsible for seeing that they are taught His statutes & raised under His admonition.
For a man to share the title of “father” with God Himself is a high honor. What kind of man does God wish one to be who holds this title? That’s a good question to answer. What type of man does God want a father to be? (honest, fair, loving, just, forgiving, respectful, merciful)
The glory of children is their father. The father influences their children by teaching, by example, & by discipline.
Father’s Responsibility
What are some of the responsibilities of a godly father? Let’s see what God says.
“Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.” (Proverbs 17:6)
Children draw honor from the father whose blood flows in their veins. They take pride in knowing “This is my father.” As this verse says, “the glory of children is their father.” Children’s character is greatly influenced by the character of their father.
“For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.” (Genesis 18:19)
“For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him.” These are the words of the Lord concerning Abraham. He will lead his children to follow his example. If necessary, using his authority as a father to secure obedience.
“they keep the way of the LORD” Abraham walked in the way the Lord led & would see that his children did the same. He was not an indifferent or negligent father. For this reason, God could use Abraham in the place He planned for him.
The father will raise children for Christ by example, by teaching, & by discipline. With firmness & kindness, he requires obedience. He teaches them God’s Word. This is the most important quality for bringing up children.
“And it shall be, when your children say to you, ‘What do you mean by this service?’ that you shall say, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice of the LORD, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our households.’” So, the people bowed their heads and worshiped. (Exodus 12:26-27)
“When your children say to you, ‘What do you mean by this service?” Children are always asking why. That’s something every parent learns quickly. This gives parents an excellent opportunity to teach them. “That you shall say,” Tell them what the Bible has to say, & how it leads to their salvation in Christ. God commanded Israelite parents to teach their children of God & His blessings & commands. Fathers were to take the lead in teaching their children & being the leader of the godly family.
Pass On the Truth
“The living, the living man, he shall praise You, As I do this day; The father shall make known Your truth to the children.” (Isaiah 38:19)
The father shall make known Your truth to the children.” God’s truth is a truth which must be passed on. It is the father’s responsibility to pass it on. This is TEACHING. Almost any change can be made in one generation. The Gospel can be lost or gained in that time. We cannot presume that our children will know the Gospel just because we do. They will not unless it is taught to them. We are the ones who must teach them. Godly parents are almost the only source of this level of teaching today. God is being removed from so many places in society. And we see the effects of this. Parents have a divine duty to teach their children the truth of God.
“The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.” (Proverbs 20:7)
The righteous man walks in his integrity. That’s saying he walks righteously.
His children are blessed after him. How does this righteous father bless his children after him?
Children are not rewarded for their father’s good life, but his life is an example to them. A good example in & of itself. It shows the way & encourages them to walk in it. A father’s life cannot save his children, but it can be a powerful influence drawing them to be saved. This is an EXAMPLE!
Rule Well
“one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.” (1 Timothy 3:4)
one who rules his own house well. The advice that Paul gave Timothy here is the standard for fathers to follow as well. What is a good ruling? How does a dad rule his house well? One way is by having his children be obedient to his leadership & showing him respect. The father has to direct his children & see that they obey. Not by severity, force, threat, bribery, or scheming. The effectiveness of these ways is limited. They do not reach into the children’s hearts & result in a desire to obey their father. He is to do it with a loving appreciation of the wise counsel of the father. He is to use Christlike judgment. He is concerned with all that affects his children’s welfare. He is to direct with firmness consistently. This is DISCIPLINE. The children will, in turn, respond with respect for the will of the father & the rightness of his direction.
In the next verse, Paul writes, “for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5)
What is Paul saying here? If a man cannot rule his own children well how can he be used in any work in the Kingdom of God? He can’t.
It fills a father's heart with joy to see his children obey. The younger our children are, the more remarkable their obedience is! In our desire to build godliness into our children's lives, we want to be sure obedience is on their list of character qualities.
If our children's obedience is meaningful to us humans, how much more must we please God when we obey Him, whether we know the outcome or not. Abraham obeyed without questioning. When God asked him to take Isaac to Mount Moriah and sacrifice him, Abraham followed His request. We aren't told of the emotions he felt or the sleeplessness he may have endured through the long night before. We just know that he obeyed and trusted in God.
A Good Father
We’ll finish up this lesson on the father’s place in the home by looking at what Paul wrote to the Ephesians. Ephesians 6:4 tells us “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” What’s Paul saying here?
Because fathers are meant to be the spiritual leaders of the family God places the upbringing of the children on their shoulders. He is the leader with this responsibility. He’s a good father. A father with a deep interest in his children notices their faults & studies how best to correct them. He sees their needs & plans how to see that they reach these goals in life. He will guide their feet under the leadership of the Holy Spirit & according to God’s Word.
There is nothing more important than the upbringing of our children. God gave them to us. Children will look to their fathers for guidance on how to live life. All our activities & interests should be planned, regulated, or changed to do this in the best way that is in agreement with the will of God.
Before we close let’s look at one more thing about raising children. Some children strive to live up to the character of their father; others must strive to live it down. Which would you want?
Would any of you care to share memories you have of the times you spent with your father & how time with him helped & directed you in life?
Closing Prayer
