A Eulogy for a Young Person Who Died of a Drug Overdose
God brought Ware and Maggie Hart to Red Bank United Methodist Church in Chattanooga, TN a year or two before the Pandemic, and we immediately became close.
Ware is the only person who has ever referred to me as Rabbi.
At Ware’s insistence, we started meeting in my office once a week in the morning before Ware went to work.
Ware had a strong, mature, and inquisitive faith.
He had a deep hunger to learn as much as he could about God and was drawn especially to the unconditional love of God that is stressed over and over in the New Testament.
We studied the entire New Testament together, and one of Ware’s favorite Scripture passages comes from 1 John Chapter 4.
It goes like this: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love…
…There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment…
…we love because [God] first loved us.
Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.
For whoever does not love their brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
And [God] has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”
Beyond studying the Bible together Ware and I talked about life.
He spoke often about his love for Maggie and the rest of his family.
And later, when Holden and Evelyn came along, they were the focal point.
Another thing we talked about was Ware’s struggle with addiction.
He was forthcoming about what he had been through and was still experiencing.
Addiction is a merciless enemy, one that doesn’t discriminate based on age, background, or social status.
It’s a disease that Ware fought every day, and it’s a disease that ultimately took him from us.
But let’s not define Ware by his struggles.
Let’s define him by his heart, his spirit, and the love and laughter he brought into our lives.
Ware had a magnetic personality, he drew people to him with his charisma, his wit and his infectious smile.
Ware was non-judgmental, he was popular, and as HIS FAMILY puts it, lovingly I might add, Ware was a character, perhaps a bit quirky…but in a good way.
Pat, YOU told me that minus his problems with addiction, YOUR SON was sort of like a Richie Cunningham Character who would stop on the streets to give money to homeless people, and even rescue damsels in distress.
I’m told that when Ware was beginning as a Freshman at George Washington University he chased down a man who stole a woman’s purse, tackled him, and then held the man down until the police arrived.
Ware had a talent for baseball and started playing VERY EARLY in life while traveling with his PARENTS to his sister PAIGE’S Softball tournaments.
Ware started playing coach pitch baseball at the age of 4—he never played with a tee.
He would go on to attend the prestigious IMG Baseball Academy in Bradenton, Florida, and from there receive a scholarship to play for George Washington University and later St. Leo University.
Ware didn’t just love baseball though, he loved all kinds of sports, including Fantasy Football.
Because Ware felt guilty about betting on Fantasy Football, he told me that he had made a pact with God that he would give 10 percent of any winnings to the church.
I’m not sure how that worked out since I’m told he wasn’t very good at Fantasy Football.
I understand that Ware wasn’t much concerned with what clothes he wore whether it was khakis that looked like a rat had been chewing on the bottom of the pant legs or shoes that were about to lose their souls.
Pat, YOU shared with me that when YOU and Ware would go to the golf course Ware would have on black socks with little ducks or some other funky design on them, perhaps a sweatshirt zipped up to his chin, and a floppy hat.
RICK YOU told me that Ware was a great brother-in-law and YOU have known him since Ware was 15 years old because that was Ware’s age when YOU and PAIGE started dating.
One time, Ware flew out to visit YOU TWO in Colorado and Ware was at YOUR HOUSE playing video games when at 12:30 in the morning he decided he was hungry.
So, YOU made a run to Wendy’s and Ware ordered the entire left side of the menu, and then he was up the rest of the night with indigestion.
Even though Ware was thin, he ate like a horse, often, again at crazy hours which would often, again, end in a case of indigestion.
I understand Ware loved Cereal and not just ANY Cereal but the good stuff…
…You know, Lucky Charms, Cocoa Crispies, things like that.
Ware was also a BIG FAN of Candy, which helped make him especially popular with His nieces Elle and Rowe who referred to Ware as UNCLE WOO.
If MOM and DAD told Elle and Rowe that they couldn’t have a piece of candy or an ice cream cone, they would ask Uncle WOO who was sure to remedy the situation.
Ware was very good with children and RICK YOU told me that YOU knew Ware would be a great dad someday because of how good he was with YOUR Girls.
And sure enough, Ware loved Holden and Evelyn so very much.
Holden was born a month before the Pandemic hit and Ware spent just about every moment of lock-down with her.
They would hunt for bugs in the backyard and if they found a snake Ware would pick it up by the tale.
As most of YOU probably know most churches were online only during the worst of the Pandemic and Red Bank United Methodist Church was actually closed for an entire year.
During that time, I had the privilege of baptizing Holden, who, it turned out was the only person to be baptized on our FACEBOOK Stream with no one else in the church building but Maggie, Ware, me, Holden and our musicians.
I’ve always referred to her as our One Pandemic Baptism.
Ware was very careful, for Holden’s sake, about COVID-19.
He would wipe down everything, even going a bit overboard on the cleaning, perhaps.
And he wore a mask all the time, more than anyone else in the family, although, somehow, it was Ware who infected the Family with Covid twice.
(pause)
AMELIA YOU said to me that YOU hope Ware’s story can help someone else.
And there are a lot of families struggling with this disease.
When we get into things like this, it causes us to remember that life is so precious and so fragile and so short.
It is something we must treasure and protect.
With addiction, there is also anger, disappointment, and guilt along with the temptation to attach blame.
We all loved Ware.
Ware so wanted to get better.
And at the end of the day, addiction is a mental health issue; there is no shame nor blame to be had.
(pause)
Three days after Jesus Christ had been crucified, two of His disciples were walking home from Jerusalem—on their way to a place called Emmaus.
This was a 7 mile walk.
We are told their faces were downcast, twisted in grief, really.
This Man—Jesus--whom they had loved so much…
…This person they had staked their futures on had been crucified, brutally murdered.
They had hoped He was the Messiah, but now He was dead and gone and they were in deep mourning.
As they talked and discussed these things, we are told in Luke Chapter 24, that Jesus came up and walked along with them.
But they didn’t recognize Him.
Jesus asked them what they were talking about, and they told Him in great detail.
And Jesus listened intently.
Finally, when they reached their home, they asked Jesus to come in and stay with them because it was getting late.
Jesus accepted their invitation, and when they were eating supper, and Jesus broke the bread—they recognized that the One Who had been walking with them all along was their Risen Savior.
And Jesus does the same thing for us today.
He walks with us in our mourning, in our grief.
And He comes and lives in and with us when we invite Him.
And this makes all the difference in the world.
It brings us hope when things seem hopeless.
It gives us peace in the midst of storms.
You all lost a son, a husband, a brother, an uncle, a friend and a great human.
And it is very difficult.
Please know that Jesus walks with you on this journey.
And know that Jesus is the One Who experienced death, but conquered it—for you, for me, for Ware.
As we say our goodbyes, let us remember that Ware’s disease was not who he was.
He was a bright, shining light.
He loved people.
He loved his family and friends.
He loved his little girls.
And he knew and loved God.
We love you Ware, and we always will.
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love…
…There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”
