DEALING WITH TENSIONS AND CONFLICTS IN CHURCHES AND CHURCH ORGANISATIONS – PRACTICAL EXAMINATION AND SUGGESTIONS – PART 2
Last time we began a list of issues that I have seen over my lifetime that can cause tensions and conflicts in the church. In this second message we continue that examination of more matters.
[E.1]. BEING AWARE OF THE UNDERLYING BASES OF TENSION – PRIDE, GOSSIP, DOMINANCE
We come to an area that is a minefield. It involves personal interaction and that is wrought with tension because personalities are like ball bearings that hit together. When there is a looming problem, it is necessary to take action early to diffuse any potential nastiness. This is where you really need discernment; wisdom if you like. Here is a useful verse – {{James 1:5 “IF ANY OF YOU LACKS WISDOM, LET HIM ASK OF GOD who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”}}
I mentioned pride. PRIDE is deadly as you know and pride in a church is unwanted. The preacher must not overlook teaching on humility. Pride of position (having a church position); pride of accomplishment (what you have done in a church); pride of gifting (God has given you a gift or gifts but it has puffed you up); pride of ownership (I AM THE ONE who plays the piano! I am the ONE who has to lead the worship!) – all those have the potential of creating tension and must be carefully managed. Godly men and women must step up and with the Lord’s help, to diffuse any pride seen to be affecting ministry.
Of course we all know the great destruction of GOSSIP and how it explodes to cause division. Godly people must stop that gossip once aware of it. Gossiping was one feature Paul hoped he would not find on his visit – {{2Corinthians 12:20 “I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish, that perhaps there may be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, GOSSIP, arrogance, (and) disturbances.”}} How many churches would fall into that category Paul mentions? They are displays of the old nature but each one causes havoc in a church. I dare say some Pastors have encountered these problems in their ministry in churches, for these tension-causing matters are not just confined to Corinth.
I think everyone has a responsibility here in the gossip matter. We seem to have something within us (is it the old nature?) that wants to share news or what we have “found out”, or some little thing others may not know. We must correct ourselves if we want to do that and shut our mouths. If someone comes to you with some gossip, then gently try to stop that spreading and tell the bearer of this “news” not to spread it.
The next verse in Corinthians is just as disturbing. We look at it – {{2Corinthians 12:21 “I am afraid that when I come again my God may humiliate me before you, and I may mourn over many of those who have SINNED IN THE PAST AND NOT REPENTED of the impurity, immorality and sensuality which they have practised.”}} Paul marks immediately, exactly what the problem is and that is a lack of REPENTANCE. A church Pastor/Minister must speak on repentance of the sins of the saints. Why do some avoid that? Is it not to offend anyone so that they leave and finances or numbers are down?
I am sure when Paul came to Corinth he would not overlook the tensions there, and the sins of the saints, but he would have addressed them exactly. We need to do the same. Don’t hide the problem or the problem will end up hiding you in obscurity.
There was one occasion I was organising a whole series of meetings for a well known speaker, in fact the leading speaker at Keswick in England. This was to cover a whole district, maybe 8000 square km or more. One Pastor I thought would be very supportive said to me, “I don’t want our people to go. The offerings will be down.” He may have said “finances” but you get the point.
One other word I mentioned in this heading was DOMINANCE; domineering. I want to cover this later in some detail but I included it here because it is one that can be noticed in the early stages. So much damage is done by those who walk over others to be in control. A godly oversight is needed to monitor that in careful shepherding and to correct the problem early before people are hurt.
On one of my trips to England I was doing some ministry in a church and on one occasion I was asked to conduct a bible study one evening. That bible study was normally taken by a certain person. I found out later he was filled with resentment because he was either not domineering that study, or had to forego one meeting, and reported me to the higher authorities with a lie. It came to nothing but I was really made aware that even in the churches you have this jealousy and resentment.
What an uphill battle it is to deal with tensions and conflict in churches.
I said in the title “BEING AWARE OF THE UNDERLYING . . .” but it is one thing to be aware. We are all aware of these problems. What is necessary is to deal with them. How do we do that? Let me suggest personal counselling BY THE RIGHT PEOPLE; preaching and teaching carefully about those flash point subjects; and getting to know the “person offender” better by drawing along side that person.
We are looking at tensions and conflicts in churches, the trouble they cause, and trying to see a way to deal with them. Those in ministerial positions who are genuinely converted will sometimes face difficulty in this area because of the diverse nature of church congregations. I can only offer suggestions from nearly 70 years of association with churches and ministry. I may be forthright at times but consider the purity of the church to be very important, and never forget the story that begins this way – {{Acts 5:1 “but a certain man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property . . .”}}. We can not be complacent or neglectful when it comes to the welfare of God’s heritage, especially from the ministers and pastors. The service of those genuine in the faith is difficult at times.
[E.2]. PREACH FAITHFULLY
Unfaithful or lazy preaching will never reinforce a fellowship as the building is being constructed on sand. Dare I say again, this is one of the reasons why a one man ministry has flaws. The minister is expected to do everything and when Sunday comes around he has not had time to wait before the Lord in the bible to understand what the Lord wants him to preach on. It is the fault of the system and of people’s expectation.
I heard once in a church, “We expect our minister to do all that. That’s what we pay him for.” Such an admission indicates a negative attitude of true Christian ministry and gifting. One man is not expected to do all the work. Rather, he is to train others to share in the ministry, to be equipped in the word, and that includes preaching. Some men are so busy doing what a properly functioning oversight should be doing, that they struggle for time to source from the bible what the Holy Spirit wants them to speak about.
Any church that has that attitude within it already has tensions in its midst. What does a man of God do in that case? He must faithfully preach the word, instruct, and get to the fundamentals including salvation and commitment. Some do need to preach salvation because nothing is taken for granted in these confused days. I have seen in churches that are on the Protestant side of confession where maybe half the church is not born again and have been residents of that church for years. They go through the motions each Sunday but there is no spiritual life. Unsaved people can not have the unity of the Spirit – {{Ephesians 4:3 “being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”}} Where there is no salvation, there is no unity, and where there is no unity, there is no Christian harmony, but rather conflict and tension under the surface.
What does a faithful man do? He must preach the gospel with a fervour seeking the salvation of souls. If people get offended and leave, the church will be better, for Belial can have no fellowship with the children of God. In summing this one up, Minister or Preacher, never compromise the word or your preaching; train up others for the ministry among the people; seek to have a godly eldership to share the work in support, and don’t be too concerned about opposition. Take it to the Lord. Remember, no lazy preaching, but wait on the Lord, reading the bible for the messages God will give you.
When sincerity is present it is a joy to be in a church. On one occasion on a cruise, we called into Alotau, which is the capital of Milne Bay Province, in the south-eastern tip of Papua New Guinea. It was a Sunday and I made my way to a local church that was almost made up of people from Papua New Guinea. The service went for two and a half hours and was delightful with Melanesian singing and preaching. These people have a greater awe of the presence of God than we do. I arrived just after the service started and sat on the right hand side. I later found out that was the women’s side but it did not matter.
On another cruise we spent Sunday in a place called Gizo in the Solomon Islands with a population of about 6 000. We went to church, a lovely Melanesian church with a couple hundred people. Again the service was a delight and ran for over 4 hours. I felt a unity of purpose there unlike many western churches I have attended. The singling was uplifting and the preaching was direct and sincere. It would surprise me if that church had any tensions.
[E.3]. MONEY! MONEY, MONEY, BUT STAND YOUR GROUND ON THE BIBLE
Now, what do your think of a church where certain subjects are taboo because someone might be offended? Too many people in a church get offended and sit on the seats fuming inside, some with resentment, and some ready to spew out in gossip. It is all so sad. This speaks of an immature and fleshly church, not a spiritual God-honouring church.
In the Apostolic days there were no “paid pastors” or “full time ministers” as they are today. All that came later, but in the early church, God gave gifts to the churches and gave spiritual men who made up the church fellowship and guided it, but they all worked or the older ones were retired. That worked very well. Now churches have reversed that and appointed for themselves full time ministers, which brings in the issue of finance and money.
The preacher of the word must be fearless, mature in the faith, a godly man and one who stands his ground. By the way, I like expositional preaching as you cover each part of a chapter or book, not just pick out favourite verses to speak on, while setting others aside.
A minister who knows a number in his church are living together and not married and decides he will avoid speaking of Christian morality is a man failing in the faith. His thoughts are that if he states what the bible says about a certain behaviour, then people might be offended and leave and the finances will be down. That is one of the problems with a paid ministerial position. I have heard it said, “I don’t want to make waves.” Also we know too well the arguments that arise about how the money should be spent.
Did Jesus make waves? {{Luke 11:42-44 “Woe to you Pharisees, for you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God, but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. Woe to you Pharisees, for you love the front seats in the synagogues, and the respectful greetings in the market places. Woe to you for you are like concealed tombs, and the people who walk over them are unaware of it.”}}. The word of God must never be compromised. A lukewarm church of neutral people does nothing for the Lord. In fact that church has enormous tensions because it shuts the light on the true gospel.
The preacher who stands his ground for the truthfulness of the bible will have God’s blessings, but the one who compromises the bible and angles for money and more money, who has an agenda in his preaching, the Lord will reject. In these days preaching is more difficult than in the past. In our churches we must be speaking against homosexual unions and homosexual marriage. We must speak out about the de-gendering of children and the sexual abuse of modern sex education. We must speak up for Israel as they are God’s earthly people who will come into enormous blessing when the Church goes. We must warn against the WOKE agenda that is overtaking the world with its socialist/Marxist globalist agenda.
The preacher’s ministry is not an easy one and he must preach faithfully. People may leave the church and some will complain, but be true to the word of God, and God will be true to you. I am well aware of a church where a Baptist minister stood his ground and preached salvation and living for Christ, but he was not popular with some. However, after some left, that church has become more godly now than it has been for ages. Faithful preaching breaks down potential tensions in a church. We need not be afraid.
The tensions in a church would oppose a preacher like that, but his only resource is faithfulness to the Lord. The Lord will uphold him. {{2Timothy 4:2-4 “PREACH THE WORD. BE READY IN SEASON AND OUT OF SEASON. REPROVE, REBUKE, EXHORT, with great patience and instruction, for the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths,”}}
The church eldership must be very careful about money and the implications of it. It is one of the greatest causes of problems and conflicts in Christian groups. There was a church fellowship I knew very well that was too small to support a full or part time minister, so they were saving their money all the time for this “maybe” time in the future. I spoke to them often, suggesting they should be supporting needy missions such as the persecuted Christians and gospel outreach but they wanted their money. That church had many unresolved tensions in it and it was not a harmonious group. Because of their small “union membership” in the end the Baptist Union shut them down and took all their money. It was considerably over $20 000. That was a great concern of mine because the problems were evident, but they would not do anything about it. I put a black mark against the Baptist Union for that. It seemed to me they raided a nest egg.
Just one thought about money that is probably off the subject a bit. It is my personal belief that the passing of the offering place is not the healthiest thing in a church. The plate pressures people for money, especially visitors and I don't think that is a good thing. It's a bit like giving under complusion. Besides there are sometimes unsaved people in the meetings in bigger churches, and do you think it is right to take money from the unsaved for God's work? I don't. The NT speaks about "laying aside" and that is best done with an offering box or some other means of collection. {{1Corinthians 16:1-2 "Now concerning the collection for the saints, you do also as I directed the churches of Galatia. On the first day of every week let each one of you put aside and save, as he may prosper, that no collections be made when I come,"}}
