DEALING WITH TENSIONS AND CONFLICTS IN CHURCHES AND CHURCH ORGANISATIONS – AS I UNDERSTAND IT OVER 65 YEARS – PART 1
[A]. INTRODUCTION
This coverage will apply not only to the church fellowship of believers, but also to any committee, business meeting, or ministry operating in or by a church.
Dealing with conflicts and disharmony is never a pleasant thing. Prevention is better but that also has its problems. Often loyalties are stretched and the one who has to deal with problems is emotionally affected but must remain impartial, and I am telling you, as you most likely know, that is extremely difficult to do.
Satan strives for conflict and loves warring factions. He hates God’s people and does everything to engender strife and division. A church fellowship is like a perfect meal in the open, a picture of the world, for the church is in the world. If the meal is left unattended then along comes Beelzeboul [Beelzebub], (a name for Satan) and ensures his agents, the blowflies, try every means to contaminate that meal. Safeguarding God’s heritage is a matter we will take up later on.
Paul was conscious of a problem in the group at Philippi, and wrote this to a trusted friend in the church – {{Philippians 4:2-3 “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in HARMONY in the Lord. Indeed, true comrade, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers whose names are in the book of life.”}} What this verse teaches us is that no one is immune from the deceptions of the devil, even those who are in leadership and work hard for the Lord.
However any ongoing problem left unattended will often not go away, but magnify itself to the detriment of more people until there is a serious concern that can even split fellowships. We are going to look at some practical issues here in an effort to dissipate a problem before it can take hold.
[B]. THE PERSONAL STATE IS THE PRIMARY ISSUE
We all know what the bottom line is, when it comes to the cause of tensions and that is the old nature we all have. The old nature (Paul sometimes called this “the old man”) remains with us and is in conflict with the new nature in Christ. There is a very informative passage in Galatians that we must consider carefully –
{{Galatians 5:16 I say, WALK BY THE SPIRIT, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh,}}
Paul begins this section with the solution rather than lay out the problem and then state the solution. Walking in the Spirit, that is, under His control and direction, might appear simple but it is not. It requires a commitment and surrender to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Many scriptures would cover that.
{{Galatians 5:17 “for the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh for these are in OPPOSITION TO ONE ANOTHER, so that you may not do the things that you please,”}}
Now Paul gets to the problem, which is the conflict of the two natures. You have all heard about that but might I add that ministers and pastors must preach and teach in this area more than what is done. The bible must be reinforced in this regard and people’s attention drawn to the important concept here. There is a war going on all the time in Christians’ lives. This is why sometimes we slip and tensions result. Just one tooth damaged in the cog can cause disruption to the machine. Pastors and Ministers, build your people up to attain the correct Christian character and you will prevent some of the tensions that arise in churches.
{{Galatians 5:18 but if you are LED BY THE SPIRIT, you are not under the Law.”}}
Because this teaching is in Galatians Paul matches up Law and the Spirit, where there is also a conflict but we will keep to the two natures and the conflict there. Problems in churches arise from inner, personal conflicts and then the old natures prevail.
{{Galatians 5:19 “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, Galatians 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, STRIFE, JEALOUSY, OUTBURSTS OF ANGER, DISPUTES, DISSENSIONS, FACTIONS,”}}
In the last two verses here, the Apostle begins listing some of the ugly features of the flesh, which is the old nature, and every one of us is prone to those because we will not shed the old nature this side of glory. As a result, they can manifest themselves in our church settings and fellowships. Please take note of the 6 that I have highlighted in capitals, for they are the ones that become prominent in churches were there is tension.
Again we look at the solution to all this, but I said Paul begins with that and the answer is walking in the Spirit. That is not my subject here but it is a most important one, especially for this topic, and especially for bible expositors and churches to dwell on.
[C]. LET US GET TO SPECIFICS AND LIST THEM
Because of this particular topic I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. I have seen enough of that in my life, and it is one of the reasons why these problems exist in churches. It is called wilfulness and opinion. God created us with the freedom of self will and unless it is under the control of the Lord, then it becomes a problem. That was recognised by James in these words –
{{James 4:1-3 “What is THE SOURCE OF QUARRELS AND CONFLICTS among you? Is not the source YOUR PLEASURES that wage war in your members? You LUST and do not have so you commit murder. You are ENVIOUS and CANNOT OBTAIN SO YOU FIGHT AND QUARREL. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive because you ask with wrong motives so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”}} There are men and women who lust after power and authority, spurred on with ambition. Examine yourselves to see if envy or jealousy or personal ambitions are the cause of disagreements you might have with others.
Personally, I am 80 and have interacted with churches, and various church and Christian ministries nearly all my life, so that is the framework for these pointers I wish to give.
[C.1]. PRAYER
How many attend your church prayer meeting, or the various prayer meetings that are organised? You might have a number of functioning cell meetings or house meetings or bible studies and you say these are well attended, but what about the times for prayer, even in those groups? One of the great memories I have in the past were the half nights of prayer we had in a Baptist church in the late 1960s. That was a united, loving and spiritual church.
Eliminate prayer meetings or downplay them, and you are sowing the seeds of conflict. Prayer meetings connect with humility and dependence; church business meetings connect with strife and pride and agendas. No prayer equals rising tensions.
[C.2]. OVERSIGHT WITH SHEPHERDING
This is absolutely fundamental for the function of a local church, but it must be done correctly. So much in churches connected with this is done wrongly. Many places see an elders group or a leadership group, no more than a group to help the pastor in organisation. Wrong! Scripturally wrong. If that is how you are going to run a church then problems are going to surface.
Denominations have a range of names for the support group in a church but I want to narrow it down to a body of men who function according to 1Timothy 3:1-8 and Titus 1:5-9. The biblical eldership expressed in Timothy is not a committee or think-tank, but is a select group of men approved by God who are spiritually mature and experienced.
One problem churches make for themselves is to place people as elders who are spiritually immature. Just look at the word for a moment. By definition an elder is “an older” that is, those with experiences in life, and in a walk with the Lord. If that is disobeyed then you are courting trouble.
I am of the opinion spiritual elders should be selected by existing elders based on the criterion of Timothy, and not by appointment or popular vote by church business meetings. The elders have a serious overseeing role and must become aware of any tensions in a church or potential problems and be able to deal with them.
[C.3]. PROBLEMS WITH CHURCHES TOO BIG
This will make me unpopular with some, especially, I feel, in the USA where big is best. When a church gets too big it becomes unmanageable (normally) and tends to lose purpose. Having a church of several thousand people does not make you a spiritual church, for God does not work with numbers but with committed people. Gideon proves that.
There was some research done once but I do not have it now where it showed the optimal number of people for a church is around 80. It was said that when a church keeps growing then around the 100 mark it should divide and then two bodies of concentration can happen. In a big church, factions and cliques form and people hang around in their own little sphere. In a church of 15 to 80 the church is much more homogeneous and the fellowship is enriched by each person. With thousands in a church I don’t believe all the gifts can be developed and exercised. It is a bit like stifling the Holy Spirit.
When a church is too large and I mean from what I have seen, about 300 plus, then the problems in that church are not addressed. I once knew of such a church and there were ones and twos living with someone else’s spouse and other unmentionables. The church at Corinth had problems like that, tension in the church, but it was smaller, maybe a few dozen or so and it could be sorted out. When a church is large any VERY unspiritual person can hang out in that church almost unseen and unknown.
One of the very important roles everyone in a church has is to care for one another. You can recall in Paul’s letters how many times he focuses on the interaction of the church membership. That can’t be done in bigger churches, only in church cliques. There are tensions in big churches and I know there are disputes but often those people just avoid each other and hide in the bushes of large numbers but eat away inside with gossip and maliciousness. It is there all right. It just does not surface all the time. Tensions not dealt with!
[C.4]. POTENTIAL WARNING SIGNS NOT DEALT WITH
In other words a potential problem was not nipped in the bud but allowed to flower into a monstrosity that ruined the plant. Often there are signs that there is some trouble or personal disputes like Syntche and Euodia and those who ought to take that onboard, do not often/always do it. Then the sore inflames to become an ulcer in God’s fellowship.
Churches really need a few people with the healing balm of Gilead. This is absolutely the role of godly older women (and men). Don’t misunderstand the following passage – {{Titus 2:3-5 “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behaviour, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD THAT THEY MAY ENCOURAGE THE YOUNG WOMEN to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonoured.”}}
Paul sets out the role of the older Christian woman, and these are the ones who have a vital role in a church with tensions and problems. They are problem solvers. How blessed is a church that has godly, older women and of course, older godly men.
This is one of the roles of the eldership. The function of this office when the New Testament was written was described by the following words - Elder, Pastor, Overseer (King James, not a nice man by the way - look it up - forced the translators to use “bishop” in the KJV when they wanted to use overseer), and Shepherd. There were no church positions other than elder and deacon in the early churches right up to about 100 or 110 AD. All the rest is man made. Each of those positions held in the oversight show the range of ministry these faithful men are to have. Not one man has all those qualities to the full, except Paul, which is why there is a plurality of elders.
[C.5]. DON’T EVER COMPROMISE OR ALLOW COMPROMISE TO HAPPEN
When in England where I was doing a bit of church seminar work, I could see the great compromises coming into the churches. I took a series of talks in liberalism and compromise. The problem began with being told no one is excluded from God’s love and God loves all, so we must do the same. In theory that is correct but it had a sting in the tail. It was not long before there was an acceptance of people’s lifestyles such as welcoming lesbians and homosexuals and transgender people in equal “worship”. Then the line was crossed.
The church and denominational authorities declared a full acceptance of these lifestyles on an equal basis with what we might call heterosexual relationships. All was equal and the Romans passage was discarded.
When a minister goes to a new church, or a Christian man or woman attends a new church, some things will be seen to be different. In most cases this will be quite acceptable, but there can be problems with compromises people might want you to make. These cause tensions with you when you want God’s standard so what can you do? I can not speak for your situation but my experiences tells me that rarely can you change that church but they want you to conform to their beliefs. In most cases you can’t stay because the spiritual life is not there anyway. It is a bit like – {{Revelation 18:4 “I heard another voice from heaven, saying, “Come out of her, my people, that you may not participate in her sins and that you may not receive of her plagues,”}}
There is a new socialism eating into the churches and some are utterly compromised. A particular site was recommended to me of an American church and I went on line to examine it. That church is adopting WOKEism and speaks about the new inword - “inclusivity”. What that word really means these days is acceptance of all lifestyles and agendas. That is not biblical and a church can not do that if it upholds the bible as the 100% inspired word of God without defect. As part of the new socialism, it also has on its website this awful stuff that is everywhere in Australia these days. It is an apology from the church (the USA one) for the terrible treatment handed out to the so called “first nations people”, the alleged rhetoric that we killed them and stole their land and did all other alleged atrocities and must keep apologizing. This is actually on their websites. None of God’s true people can get involved with that sort of thing.
If you, as a genuine Christian, are in that church you’d be surrounded by all these misapplied misconceptions and anti-biblical concepts. How can you sit in a small meeting, for example, next to a “married gay couple” and claim you all love God and He is blessing you? How is that possible? {{1Corinthians 6:9-10 “or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”}}
People who would push such agendas into a church are adding to the tensions that exist or are creating new ones. What is a Pastor to do in such a case? Sadly some do not have the experience to deal with such issues, and even more sadly, would not have the support of many of the church people for anything to be done because they are happy with the status quo. How can a man of God cut through that dilemma?
I knew a very godly young Pastor who faced a problem matter in the congregation – I think it had to deal with a young couple living together. This was in the 1960s. He carefully counselled the couple but they did not like what he said and left. That caused a real heartache in the Pastor’s life, a time of sadness, but he knew he had done the right thing. By doing what he did he avoided a serious tension coming into that church. One of the points mentioned earlier was nipping potential problems in the bud. It has to be done.
[D]. CONCLUSION
There are a number more to consider so it will be far too big for one posting and will continue to another 3 or 4 articles. The next one will follow on.
