We read in Matthew 22:2, “The kingdom of heaven is like to a certain king, who made a marriage for his son..”(Webster)
We considered this verse in one of the previous messages, to understand that the kingdom of heaven is likened to a certain king who organized marriage for his son, which implies that God considers marriage sacred, and therefore compared the kingdom of God to marriage. We also realize that marriage is not man’s idea as perceived by many, but is God’s initiative as God Himself originated marriage in the first place.
Many families today are encountering tumultuous times in their marriages and there is an absence of peace in many a home. There are also a majority who have not understood the purpose of marriage from God’s perspective, and therefore a lot of families are in much confusion.
On the basis of God’s word, we are trying to understand and learn as to what are those vital aspects a couple must grasp, in order to fulfill God’s plan for their marriage.
We read in Matthew 18:23, “Therefore is the kingdom of the heavens likened unto a man who is king who would take account of his slaves.” (JUB)
In the above mentioned verse, the kingdom of heaven is equated to a king who took account of his slaves. There are three words which I would like to highlight in this verse.
1. The king
2. The slaves or servants
3. Took account
Maybe it is surprising to some of us that the Lord actually will hold us accountable for what He has entrusted to us. Generally in close relationships we dislike the idea of having to be accountable to the other person. Most people prefer to have their lives free from any sort of accountability to anyone, because they believe that they are perfect, and therefore have no need to be accountable to anyone.
It is the grace of God, and our belief in His finished work that makes us worthy recipients of His kingdom, but this does not in any way nullify the fact that we are also accountable to God for all that He has committed to us.
Relationships find fulfilment only when there is accountability
Every relationship has a purpose and if that purpose has to be affirmed, accountability is an important part of it. For example, in the above mentioned verse, the slaves are accountable to the king.
We read in Romans 14:12, “So then each one of us shall give account of himself to God.” (JUB)
The above mentioned verse is a clear indication that each one of us will have to give an account of ourselves to God. The relationship between us and God lies is the fact that He is the creator, and we are His creation. Therefore for God’s aspiration to be fulfilled in us, we stand accountable to God for the life, and everything else that He has bestowed on us.
Let us consider some examples from our day to day lives. Banks have periodic quarterly, half yearly and annual account closing, in order to take stock of the money that has been deposited or loaned out as they have a financial accountability, and relationship with their depositors.
We send our children to school, choosing the best schools, so that our children are coached well. The quarterly, half yearly and annual exams are conducted to check the progress of the child, and in a way it is a kind of check for the teacher to see how well they have taught. A test or examination periodically is an accountability check between the teacher and the student to ensure that both are doing their part well.
When there is accountability in any relationship, there is a change in that relationship for the better. For example, when parents invest much in their children, admit them to the best schools, it is a child who values these investments, who will give of his or her best in their studies.
This accountability is also applicable to the church, which means that when the pastor or leader confront the members on some issues, they should have a teachable spirit, and not take offence at the smallest reprimand. It also means we have to respect each other, and be on time for service. Sometimes we leave the church littering the place, or leaving the chairs is disarray not caring to put them back in order.
So also, the pastor is the shepherd of the flock, and it is his responsibility to share the word of God with much prayer and preparation. Members on the other hand are the flock, and are endowed with the obligation to receive, understand and obey the word of God that is taught to them. As much as we insist that our children take their text books and note books regularly to school, it is also a reminder that we should carry with us our bibles and a note book so we too can concentrate on the message that is preached and take notes, which we can refer to later. It is only when we have the realization that even at church we are accountable to each other, will we do all that the Lord purposes for us to do, and each one of us will make all efforts to do our part.
In years gone by, apart from the fact that Thomas the disciple of Jesus came to India and brought the gospel, most of the early missionaries who came to India came from England. Unfortunately, the condition of the church in England today is dismal, as most of the huge churches have been shut down or sold for other purposes. One of the major reasons for such a forlorn situation is that there has been a lack of accountability in the church.
The early church met daily, broke bread and were taught the word of God, but today most members of the church are content with just spending an hour or so at church only on a Sunday. There is no revival and growth that was characteristic of the early church simply because we have failed in our responsibility to be accountable to one another. If the purpose of the church and our relationship with the body of Christ should be fulfilled, it is vital that we become accountable.
Peter was a seasoned fisherman, but when the Lord called him to follow Him so He could make him a fisher of men, he willingly left it all and ensued after Jesus. It was that obedience and accountability that Peter had developed in his relationship to Jesus that the Lord honored. No wonder then, when he got up to preach after the day of Pentecost, thousands of people got converted and were added to the church.
We must have a similar thirst that Peter had, and grow in our relationship with the Lord, so He can accomplish His purposes through us. For that to happen, we must like Peter be willing to let go of everything that is unwanted, worldly ties, possessions and desires that stand in the way. Only when we are zealous for the Lord, will we also become zealous for the spiritual growth and well-being of our families as well.
So also, all of us are accountable to God for all that we have received from His hands which include, our families, our children, our finances, and everything that we possess. All of us have to be prepared to give an account to the Lord on that final day.
Steps for financial accountability in marriage
In marriage financial accountability between husband and wife is of foremost importance, as financial mismanagement is one of the major areas of conflict in many marriage relationships. Many wives and husbands complain that they are unable to discuss any sort of financial matter with their spouse as they get angry, and think that there is no need for this kind of accountability in their marriage. A person who is right in everything will not feel threatened or get upset when asked to give an account of themselves.
For the marriage relationship to flourish and fulfill God’s divine plan, accountability between husband and wife is a must, as God has created them as a suitable partner for each other whom they should respect and honor. Husband and wives should be fully aware of each other’s income. There should be total transparency between husband and wife in all financial dealings. Either one should never be placed in an embarrassing situation, where a lender lands up at their door step demanding for the money that was borrowed to be paid back.
• Pray and thank God for the income received
Firstly, when spouses receive their monthly income, they should come together, to pray and thank the Lord for the blessings He has bestowed on them. There is a tremendous blessing from the Lord when husbands and wives pray together over the income they receive. Thank the Lord for enabling them to work all through the month, for strength, and the salary we receive no matter how little or much it is. In the miracle of the five loaves and two fish that fed more than five thousand people, the multiplication was possible only because that little lunch was handed over into the hands of Jesus. It is only when Jesus took it, and blessed it did the multiplication take place.
In some families either of the spouse may earn more than the other, but instead of competing and comparing with one another, it is important for both to develop the mindset that this is the family income, for the welfare of the entire family. The family is a single unit and there should be no arguments and fights as to who the money belongs to. Either one should not think it their right to spend their salary any way they like, and expect the other to take care of the needs of the family. This is a joint venture and a family is blessed only when the income that comes in is considered as such, and spent jointly for the well- being of the whole family.
Accountability in finances, helps to prevent spouses from bringing into the home, money that is not earned in the right way for either of them can check with the other as to how they received the money. When finances that are earned in the wrong way are brought into the family, it will not be beneficial, but will also defile the rest of the money that was earned in the right way. If we develop the habit of bringing all of our finances to the Lord with prayer and thanksgiving at the onset of every month, we will experience His blessings through the month and will end the month with surplus in our hands.
• Set aside your offerings for God
We read in 2 Chronicles 1:6-7, “Solomon went up to the bronze altar before the LORD at the Meeting Tent and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it. That night God came to Solomon and said, "Ask me for whatever you want me to give you." (ERV)
When the Lord made Solomon king over Israel, he did not let the position get to him, but the first thing that Solomon did was to offer a thousand burnt offerings to the Lord on the bronze altar, before the tent of meeting as an act of thanksgiving. Everything that Solomon received came from God, but God did take note of how Solomon responded to all that he had acquired from God. The consequence of this overwhelming act by Solomon was that as we read in verse 7, ‘that night’ God appeared to Solomon in a dream. It was on that very night that God asked Solomon to ask of Him whatever he wanted to receive from the Lord. The world and everything in it belongs to the Lord, but Solomon saw it fit to present to the Lord a portion of what he thought was befitting and honoring to the Lord, and the Lord was tremendously pleased with the offerings. The Lord therefore was willing on His part to give to Solomon whatever he wanted with no boundaries whatsoever.
There were three important aspects of Solomon’s giving that are vital to take note of.
1. He gave voluntarily with all his heart
2. He gave out of love and with the intention to honor God
3. His attitude got hold of God’s attention and God responded appropriately.
It’s a good for us to be reminded that everything we have was given to us by God, and therefore He is observing the way we use all that we have received from His hands. To understand this let me illustrate; if there were two sons of a wealthy couple who have everything they ever needed, and had no need whatsoever to depend on their sons for anything, but instead has such enormous wealth to support their sons for their future as well. In such a family, if one of the son’s decided to give a small gift to his parents, it would be highly valued by them, though there is no necessity for the parent’s to receive such a gift, exclusively because of the love and thoughtfulness behind the gift. To further illustrate this, if the father had an expensive wrist watch and the gift that the son gave him was a not so expensive watch, he would probably wear the one that his son gifted him, simply to show off to everyone the love that was manifested by his son through that gift, not because he was in need of it.
Many of us would wish that God would appear to us, as He did to Solomon, to ask for whatever we wished. Most of us might have a really long list that we would like to submit to God. Instead like Solomon we must have a heart of gratefulness, and learn to give to God voluntarily, without any compulsion whatsoever.
Some may be in doubt if God really does take notice of what they give to Him. When Cain and Abel brought an offering to the Lord, it was taken note of by God. Jesus observed the mite that the widow dropped into the offering box in the temple. The offering we give to the Lord may seem insignificant to us, but it is enormous in the sight of the Lord.
As couples we must learn to set aside a portion of our earnings, to give to the Lord. We must give from our hearts, and give willingly with no compulsion whatsoever. Our giving should be our grateful response to the Lord, with a heart filled with love for all that we have received from Him. When the Lord blesses our income our cups will overflow as David mentions in Psalm 23 and we will never be in want.
• Make a list of expenditure for the month
An important aspect of handling finances is for couples to sit together and make a list of expenses for the month. These expenses will fall into three categories.
1. Mandatory expenses
2. Necessary expenses
3. Optional expenses (avoidable)
Working on the details of our monthly expenses is not to make us thrifty, but to give us a good assessment of the income and expense for the month, so that we can be wise in the way we spend our finances. Mandatory expenses might include things like rent, provisions, school fees etc. There are other expenses for the family that are necessary and can’t be avoided. However, the third category is the totally unavoidable expenditures. For example, a couple may not have finances to go out on a vacation, but sometimes just to impress and keep up with their neighbor’s they may take a loan to fulfill this desire, which is an unwise decision as this is a totally avoidable expense.
When making decisions on finances it is often happens that there will be differences of opinions, but both spouses must agree and be willing to come to a consensus. If as husband and wife we do not have oneness in financial matters, it would be very difficult to be one in other issues in marriage. Both husband and wife must make a decision to be accountable to each other with their finances, and be willing to compromise so that family can function as God designed it to.
When the demonetization scheme was introduced by our government, the ones who were affected much were wives who without their husband’s knowledge had been saving money in secret places. When it was time to change the currency they were stuck, as they did not know how to reveal these secret savings to their husbands, and many of them even destroyed the currency to avoid conflict at home. By being secretive and hiding from their husbands, they were unable to openly change the currencies that were with them. Secrecy in a marriage relationship especially in financial dealings, will definitely amount to dispute and discord between husband and wife.
Financial accountability between husband and wife will prevent money from being misspent on the wrong things or being given to the wrong people. Some men and women have the habit of helping those of the opposite gender with finances without their spouse’s knowledge. If either one wishes to help another person, it should always be done with each other’s knowledge and consent, and never done in an underhanded way.
• Stay out of debt
One of the other major problems many middle class families are challenged with is being in debt. Often with the desire to wanting something that is not within their means, many people opt for loans because EMI’s (Equated Monthly Instalments) are readily made available by all vendors and banks are ever ready to give loans at exorbitant interest. Many people who take bank loans are unaware of all their policies and readily sign documents, which demand that even if they are able to pay back their loans well in advance, they are still liable to pay a penal interest. What most people are ignorant of is that this is a trap that they get into, and over a period of time when they are unable to pay back these huge debts, it results in families heaping untold misery on themselves.
For men and women the attractions are varied, while many men desire to have the latest mobiles, bikes, cars and other gadgets, many women are overly obsessed with clothes or gold. In order to attain this dream, they either go into loans or many women opt to be thrifty and save to invest it in chit funds, and dolefully get cheated too. Sadly, so many are unaware that if for some reason a person loses their job, or have a crisis, these loans become heavy burdens that totally disrupt peace in the family. It would be meaningless for a husband or wife to invest in a thing that gives temporary pleasure, at the expense of peace and joy in the family. Some people take a car on loan, but are unable to use or enjoy it as they can’t afford the high price of fuel. We should be wise and know when we need to buy something, and when we shouldn’t. Absolute transparency in financial dealing between husband and wife is of utmost importance. It is a great policy to learn to be content and live within our means. Both husband and wife must resolve to make the best use of the income that the Lord gives to them, and use them intelligently.
A child of God should never get into any kind of debt. The word of God promises us that we will be those who lend, and never be those who borrow, because the one who borrows becomes a slave to one who lends. We must learn to live as free people, free from any form of financial debt. When we make bigger commitments, we will end up with bigger problems. We must spend our finances wisely, and learn to save not overspend. Let us decide never to be in debt and not to take loans, no matter what. We should all yearn to come to the place where we are not in any kind of debt. Finances in the family should never be the cause for becoming a bone of contention, and friction between husband and wife.
All that we have received is God’s gracious gift to us and it is mandatory for us to spend it wisely. We read in Proverbs 21:20, “The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get.” (NLT) If we want to be wise person, we must take account of our income and expense, learning to spend wisely. However, if we do not do so, we would be foolish and waste all the resources that God graciously lavishes on us. Many families have had much wealth but because of mismanagement of their funds, they have lost it all and landed up in dire straits.
Let us apply this principle in our lives, and decide as husbands and wives to be accountable to each other. Money in itself is not good or bad, but neutral, and becomes good or bad depending on the purpose for which it is spent. It is good to have money, but if one were to take it and use it on alcohol they are misusing it, whereas if one were to take the same money to feed a poor person, they are doing good and storing up treasures in heaven. The word of God exhorts us that where our treasure is there will our heart be also. It also admonishes us that he who gives to the poor lends to the Lord.
May God grant us wisdom to spend our money wisely, and be accountable in our finances for the good of our family, so that we will be abundantly blessed. Our lives must be in obedience and keeping with the word of God, so that the Lord can bless our finances, thereby enabling us to lead peaceful and contented lives. Let us allow the Lord to build our families and be those who will lend, and not those who borrow from others. We have a God who will hold us accountable, and may we be prepared every day to give a proper account to the Lord for all that He lovingly bestows on us, with no regret whatsoever.
Rev. F. Andrew Dixon
www.goodnewsfriends.net
Transcribed by: Sis. Esther Collins
