Defer to One Another-2
Romans 14:13-23
More than any other individual, the apostle Paul was responsible for the spread of the gospel throughout the Roman Empire. He made 3 missionary journeys through much of the Mediterranean, tirelessly preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ and establishing churches everywhere he went. Toward the end of his third missionary journey, while in Corinth and preparing to make his return to Jerusalem, he wrote this letter to the Romans in anticipation of visiting them one day soon.
You see, some of those who were converted to Christianity on the day of Pentecost many years earlier, had returned to their homes in Rome, carrying the gospel with them. They established the church in Rome and Paul had long desired to visit them to help build them up and strengthen their faith.
It was the simple fact that he had to put off that trip for a long time that led him to write this letter. His primary purpose was to introduce himself to a church where he was personally unknown but hoped to visit, and to teach the great truths of the gospel to believers who had never received apostolic instruction except for maybe on that day of Pentecost many years earlier.
Now unlike some of Paul's letters to other churches which needed correction of poor theology or rebuke for ungodly living, the church in Rome was fairly sound. However, like all churches, it was in need of the doctrinal truth and the practical instruction this letter provides.
For much of the first part of this letter, Paul established the fact that all mankind is under the curse of sin, that there is no difference between Jew or Gentile when it comes to being under that curse, that the deeds of the flesh will not save anyone, but that the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ will come to all who believe in Him. Whether Jew or Gentile, justification is by faith apart from the deeds of the law.
Then around chapter 12, Paul begins to demonstrate what the Christian life looks like in everyday life. That we are to be living sacrifices to God, being transformed by the renewal of our minds, loving each other without hypocrisy, giving honor to one another, being of one mind, and living in peace with all men.
Then in chapter 14 we’re made aware of an issue that the Roman church had to deal with. As is usually the case when people are involved, a division in the church started when some people began acting unkindly toward others who didn’t think exactly like they did. They were disputing among themselves concerning dietary restrictions and the observance of special days and seasons of the year.
In Rome at that time, whenever someone went to the market to buy meat, there was a good chance that the meat being bought had been offered in sacrifice to a pagan god at one of the many local pagan temples. Some Christians, usually those who were more recently converted out of paganism might feel as if eating meat offered to another god might not be a good thing to do. Others though, knowing that these pagan gods weren’t really gods at all, they were figments of the imagination, felt that there was nothing wrong with eating the meat.
Then another issue was concerning days, and seasons of the year. You see, practically all of the various religions, Judaism included, celebrated certain days or seasons as special times in their faith. Within Judaism there were 7 feasts and the sabbath that held much meaning to them. So, some wanted to continue celebrating these special days while others, especially Gentile believers who never had celebrated those days, might believe that all days are equal. All of that was part of the old economy which had been fulfilled in Jesus. So, because of things like this, there was division in the Roman church.
Now, we might be tempted to look at this as a minor issue that has no real bearing on ourselves today, but the truth is that we still fight and argue over issues just like this. There are Christians who still believe that we should observe certain days for worship, or that we should be celebrating the feasts and festivals of the Old Testament. There are some Christians who abstain from eating pork or certain sea foods, and still others who say that Christians can’t drink wine, smoke cigarettes, go to movies, wear cosmetics, or they’ll argue and split churches over the color of the carpet, the paint on the wall, putting up Christmas trees during Christmas season, or whatever. Even the celebration of Easter is controversial in some churches, and while I agree that the bunny and the eggs are purely pagan, the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ is something that we should sing and shout about.
Brother, sister, the devil loves to cause division in the church, and the division he causes is many times over things that really don’t matter. He causes Christians to bite and devour each other over incidentals that have nothing to do with salvation. But there is something I want you to understand today—if you don’t get anything else out of this message, I want you to get this: “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”
*“In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” Many have claimed that this is a quote of John Wesley. Others say Augustine. But the truth is that this quote was first written in 1627 by a German Lutheran theologian the named Rupertus Meldenius. What it means is that we are to have unity in the important doctrines of our faith, but in the incidental beliefs we have liberty, and if I don’t agree with you or you don’t agree with me in either of those, we should still show love toward one another.
You see, there are certain doctrines that are essential to the Christian faith, such as the virgin birth, the deity of Christ, His sinless perfection and His blood atonement, resurrection from the dead, and that He is coming back one day. But there are other beliefs that we hold dear that really aren’t that important. Things such as diet, days, seasons. In the essentials we are to agree, but in the non-essentials we allow for liberty.
Rom 14:13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way.
Instead of passing judgment on our brother or sister concerning those non-essential things, don’t cause them to stumble and fall. I have found that harsh words or judgmental attitudes by those who claim to be Christians to be far more hurtful than similar words spoken or acted out by non-believers.
I can remember a time in Higgins when we were preparing the youth for a Christmas production. One of the adult ladies who was helping, had particularly harsh words to say concerning one of the young girls, and she acted rudely toward her in front of everyone present. This young girl simply wanted to participate in the Christmas play, but because of something she may or may not have done in the past, the older woman had a very obvious hatred toward her and tried to keep her from having any part in the play at all.
Let me tell you, we lost 2 people from that church over this. The young girl was so embarrassed and hurt that she left and never came back, and a little later the older woman ended up leaving because I later pointed out that her behavior was not Christlike. I did it in private, but she was so shocked that I was rebuking her rather than supporting her that she never came back.
Now, I know that this illustration doesn’t have much to do with the non-essentials I’ve been speaking of, but it does show that our attitudes do have an effect on other people. When we judge others, we are usurping the role of the Holy Spirit in that person’s life, because the Lord is their judge, not us. We aren’t simply putting a stumbling block in front of them, we become the stumbling block. And in the case of children, I’m reminded that the Lord said Luk 17:2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Oh friends, acting judgmental toward others is something that we should never do. Now, we’re not talking about those things that the Scripture clearly tells us to stand firm in, such as doctrinal truth, abstaining from sin, walking in holiness and in a Christlike manner, but being judgmental and unforgiving in the non-essentials is something we should strive against.
Rom 14:14 I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
When the Lord said that no food is unclean, He wasn’t saying that all foods are good for you, because some aren’t good for you at all. What He was saying is that it’s not morally wrong to eat things you enjoy eating. However, one person’s conscience may move at a slower pace than someone else’s. So, we need to adjust to one another’s needs along this line.
Think of it like this. The Royal Gorge Bridge is a high bridge that stretches across the Arkansas River. The bridge itself is made out of steel and cables, but the roadway you walk across is 2x8 or 2x10” boards. Those boards are strong enough to hold a person’s body, but what’s scary to me is the gap that’s between them. When I walked across that bridge, I was very cautious and looked at every step I took, making sure I stepped right in the middle of the boards. I could see the river way down below me in those gaps, and I kinda felt like if I wasn’t careful, a board might break or I might just fall right through one of those gaps. Now, falling through a small gap like that would be impossible of course, but since I could see the river below, I still kinda felt that way.
Now, some folks were able to walk across that bridge with no problem at all. Others were like me, taking it slowly, making every step count and being nervous the whole way. In a similar manner, some people might have confidence that nothing is unclean for them, while others aren’t so sure. They’ll be more cautious and timid, and it would be cruel for the more confident person to grab them and start pulling them along wouldn’t it? Doing that might even cause them to lose their balance and fall off the bridge, or eat the very thing that they believed to be sinful, which is what the next verse speaks of.
Rom 14:15 Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died.
It is not loving to force people to move at your pace. To refuse to indulge your own freedom for the sake of someone else—to adjust to their pace is the clearest and truest exercise of Christian love. That’s what Paul is encouraging us to do here.
Now, there are things that we absolutely must stand firm in. We cannot yield an inch in those doctrines that are essential, but in those questions that are uncertain, we simply can’t take an unyielding view. This is why Paul says…
Rom 14:16-18 Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; (17) for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (18) For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men.
If you are going to create division by arguing so hard for your rights, or your freedom, or by flaunting your liberty in the face of those who you know don’t agree with it, then brother, sister, you are distorting the gospel itself. In verse 16, where he tells us to not let our good be spoken of as evil, that word, evil is actually blaspheme. So, what he’s saying is that you are causing that which is good to be blasphemed because you are making such a big deal out of a minor issue. You are insisting that your rights are so important that you have to divide the church over them or separate from a brother or sister who doesn’t believe as you do.
But Paul is saying that this is wrong. The main point of the Christian faith isn’t about eating or drinking. It’s not about days or seasons. The main point is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit!
Now, righteousness is mentioned in Romans a lot and it speaks of God’s gift of a sense of worth about yourself. It means that because of Christ’s death on your behalf, you are loved and accepted by Him. You are so valuable in His sight that He has given His own righteousness to you.
The second thing is peace. And what that is, is a kind of calmness, and inner core that is undisturbed by the minor irritations of the moment. It’s a quiet and calm assurance that God is present, and He will work everything out for His own glory, so we don’t need to worry or be upset with anyone. But you know, it’s hard for the world to get that impression of peace from us when what they see are two people arguing with each other over what they disagree on. We see this very thing all the time on social media; Christians arguing with each other online for all the world to see. It really hurts me when I see it.
Then the third element is joy. These three always go hand in hand with each other: righteousness, peace, and joy. They’re gifts from God. They don’t come from you, they come from Him to you. Joy is a delight in life that always finds life worthwhile, even though it may be filled with problems. It doesn’t come from our circumstances it comes out of our relationship with the one who gave Himself for us.
Rom 14:19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
You can enjoy your liberties. You can even indulge in them if you desire, but only if you do so in such a way that you don’t destroy peace. If what you’re doing threatens the peace of a community, a church, a group, or even an individual so that they become angry or upset, then back off. If you are strong, then bear the burden. Don’t insist on your rights, but instead, defer to one another. Rom 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; Php 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. (4) Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
You know, some Christians get so intent on exercising their rights that they indulge them in the presence of people they know will be offended, simply because they wanted to flaunt their freedom. This is wrong, and it is not walking in love toward your brother or sister in Christ because Paul goes on to say…
Rom 14:20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense.
Friends, peace is the work of God. Nothing can produce lasting peace among sinful people, especially when they are of different cultural backgrounds, except the work of God. If for the sake of some right or liberty you have, you destroy peace, then you are destroying what God has brought about. Stop exercising your liberty when you know it will arrest the conscience of someone else.
There’s also the possibility that practicing your liberty in front of the weaker brother may encourage them to follow your example before they have been brought to that point by the Holy Spirit. Like in the bridge illustration, you are pulling them along and causing them to do things before their own conscience has caught up. When they are following your example before they are fully convinced, then they are sinning against their own conscience. That’s what it means when Paul spoke of “eating with offense,” They are doing something before they are sure themselves, and you encouraged them to do it.
Rom 14:20-21 …All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. (21) It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.
Now, I don’t believe that there is anything wrong with making someone else think about why they do or don’t do things. We all need to know what we believe and why we believe it. We’re not mere animals that are conditioned to perform in a certain way by giving us treats or belly rubs. We are people who reason things out and many times we learn through personal experience. We shouldn’t be Christians because we were raised as Christians; we should be Christians because we have been made aware of how horribly sinful we are and have turned to Christ as our Savior and Lord.
When we act against our conscience, we condemn ourselves because we are not acting out of faith. Instead, we’re giving in to outside pressures rather than obedience to the Holy Spirit within us.
Rom 14:22-23 Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. (23) But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.
When he said that if we have faith, we should have it between ourselves and God, he isn’t saying that our faith should be a secret, or something that is hidden from the world; he’s telling us that our faith should be based upon God and nothing or no one else. We shouldn’t be doing things because of pride or because we want to show off our freedom, we do it because God has freed us by His word, and therefore we are happy because our conscience is free from doubt.
Whatever is not from faith is sin, and we read in Hebrews that Heb 11:6 …without faith it is impossible to please Him, so we base our actions in Christian liberty on what the word of God declares. Our deep conviction rests upon the word and the revelation of God, so we…
1. Don’t deliberately cause a brother or sister to stumble or shock them. We don’t deliberately do things that offend them or make them uncomfortable. We defer to them rather than require them to defer to us.
2. We give up our rights or privilege when it threatens peace or hinders the growth of someone else. Because that is what Christian love does. It esteems others over and above ourselves.
3. We never act out of doubt. We should only act from conviction of the word of God or by the Spirit of God.
When we begin to live and act in this manner, the world will see that the heart of the Gospel is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. They’ll see that we are free in Christ because it is a gift, He has given to us. It isn’t something we won. We didn’t earn it. He gave it to us, and friends Joh 8:36 …if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.
So, are you free in Christ today? Have you trusted in Him as your Lord and Savior? Do you want to do that today?
