An urban legend has Microsoft’s Bill Gates speaking at a COMDEX computer expo several years ago. Supposedly, he was comparing the computer industry with the auto industry. He said, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon.”
General Motors allegedly responded to Gates by releasing the statement, “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?” (“Microsoft and GM Engage in a Battle of Wits,” Wards Auto newsletter, 1998; www.PreachingToday.com).
Comparisons often backfire on you and are rarely helpful.
For example, 23 years ago (February 2000), the elders of a church in rural Nebraska asked their pastor, a friend of mine, to resign. They were comparing his ministry to that of a popular preacher in the Chicago area. Now, my friend’s church was growing, and people were coming to faith in Christ, but his elders wanted more. They wanted a church like that Chicago pastor had, so they asked their pastor to resign. Within a month, the church, averaging 140 in Sunday morning attendance and growing, was left with only 60 people and declining.
Their jealous comparison nearly destroyed the church, and such comparisons can destroy your family and your relationships, as well.
So, what can you do to combat this terrible, subtle enemy? What can you do to conquer jealous comparisons before they conquer you? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to John 3, John 3, where John the Baptist effectively conquered jealousy among his own followers.
John 3:22-24 After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside, and he remained there with them and was baptizing. John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because water was plentiful there, and people were coming and being baptized (for John had not yet been put in prison) (ESV).
Now, no one knows exactly where Aenon near Salim is today, but Bible scholars think it is likely midway between the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea. What we do know is that two itinerant preachers, Jesus and John, were baptizing their converts in that area.
John 3:25 Now a discussion arose between some of John’s disciples and a Jew over purification (ESV).
The “discussion” was actually a dispute. The word in the original Greek pictures “a forceful difference of opinion” (Louw & Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament Based on Semantic Domains). They were fighting over whose purification rituals were better. There were the Pharisaic rituals, the Essene rituals in the Qumran community nearby, John’s ritual of baptism, and Jesus baptizing people just up the river. In fact, Jesus had a larger group following Him.
John 3:26 And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him” (ESV).
John’s disciples were complaining that Jesus was becoming more popular than John. John’s followers were dwindling while Jesus’ followers were increasing, and that angered them.
JEALOUSY HAD REARED ITS UGLY HEAD.
The various religious groups were arguing over who was better, and the situation was getting nasty.
Oscar Wilde told a story of the devil crossing the Libyan desert when he came upon a number of small demons tormenting a holy hermit. The holy man easily shook off their evil suggestions. The devil watched their failure and then he stepped forward to give them a lesson.
“What you do is too crude,” he said. “Permit me for one moment.”
Then he whispered to the holy man, “Your brother has just been made bishop of Alexandria.”
A cloud of malignant jealousy at once clouded the serene face of the hermit.
“That,” said the devil to his imps, “is the sort of thing which I should recommend” (Gordon MacDonald, The Life that God Blesses, Nelson, 1994, p.143).
Jealousy is one of the devil’s favorite tools to bring down God’s people. Please, don’t let it consume you and rob you of your peace.
So, what can you do to combat jealous comparisons before they consume you? Well, let’s see what John the Baptist did.
John 3:27 John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven” (ESV).
John recognizes that everything he has comes from God, and that’s where you start in your battle against jealous comparisons. Recognize that God sovereignly gives whatever He wants to whoever He chooses. That means any success you experience comes from God, not so much because you earned it, but only because He graciously wanted to give it to you.
In a 2015 commencement speech at Dillard University, Denzell Washington told the graduates to:
“Put God first in everything you do… Everything that I have is by the grace of God, understand that. It's a gift… I didn't always stick with him, but He stuck with me… While you're [on your knees], say thank you. Thank you for grace, thank you for mercy, thank you for understanding, thank you for wisdom, thank you for parents, thank you for love, thank you for kindness, thank you for humility, thank you for peace, thank you for prosperity. Say thank you in advance for what is already yours… (Michael W. Chapman, Denzel Washington to College Grads: 'Put God First,' CSNNEWS.Com, 5-11-15; www.PreachingToday.com).
That’s good advice not only for college graduates, but for all of us. Approach life with an attitude of humble gratitude. That way, when it’s time for someone else to excel, you can rejoice with them rather than be jealous of them. You can let go of your fame to let someone else shine for a while.
J. R Tolkien, who wrote The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, wrote a lesser-known short story called “Smith of Wootton Major.” In the story, Smith Smithson, as a young boy, receives a rare gift at his small village's celebration—a piece of cake that contains a silver star. As Smith wears the star on his forehead, it shines with light, and it allows him to travel to magical lands and possess special powers and privileges. But one day as he travels home from one of his fantastic journeys, Alf, the Master Cook and baker of the cake starts walking beside Smith. Unbeknown to Smith, Alf is actually the king of all the land, and the one who chose to give Smith the silver star.
As they near Smith's home, Alf (or the King) says, “Do you not think, Master Smith, that it is time for you to give this thing [the magic silver star] up?”
Smith replies, “What is that to you, Master Cook? And why should I do so? Isn't it mine? It came to me, and may a man not keep things that come to him so, at least as a remembrance?”
The King says, “Some things. Those that are free gifts and given for remembrance. But others are not so given. They cannot belong to a man forever, nor be treasured as heirlooms. They are lent. You have not thought, perhaps, that someone else might need this thing. But it is so. Time is pressing” (J.R.R Tolkien, Smith of Wootton Major, Del Ray, 196), page 41; www.PreachingToday.com).
God has lent you everything you have. You are a manager of HIS property. Nothing belongs to you, so thank God for what you have in the time you have it, but also be ready to give it back to God when He asks for it.
That’s how you conquer jealous comparisons before they conquer you. Start with the recognition that God sovereignly gives whatever He wants to whoever He chooses.
Then recognize that God sent you to introduce Christ to the world, not to save it. Realize that you are just a messenger, not the Messiah. Look at what John said to his dwindling followers.
John 3:28 “You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him’” (ESV).
God sent me to TELL others about the Christ, the Messiah. He did not send me to BE the Messiah.
Psychologist Milton Rokeach wrote a about The Three Christs of Ypsilanti in a book with the same name. In it, he described his attempts to treat three patients at a psychiatric hospital in Ypsilanti, Michigan, who suffered from delusions of grandeur. Each believed he was unique among humankind; he had been called to save the world; he was the messiah. They displayed full-blown cases of grandiosity, in its pure form.
Rokeach found it difficult to break through, to help the patients accept the truth about their identity. So he decided to put the three into a little community to see if rubbing against people who also claimed to be the messiah might dent their delusion—a kind of messianic, 12-step recovery group.
This led to some interesting conversations. One would claim, “I'm the Messiah, the Son of God. I was sent here to save the earth.”
“How do you know?” Rokeach would ask.
“God told me,” the patient would reply.
Then one of the other patients would counter, “I never told you any such thing” (John Ortberg, "Leader's Insight: Curing Grandiosity (Part Two)," LeadershipJournal.net, 1-29-07; www. PreachingToday.com).
We laugh at that, but when someone exaggerates their own importance, they come close to the same absurdity.
Fred Smith once said, “A true leader is committed to the cause and does not become the cause. Staying personally dedicated to the cause can become extremely difficult, particularly if the cause succeeds. A subtle change in thinking can overtake the leader of a successful ministry. He or she begins ‘needing’ certain things to carry on the ministry—things that were not needed earlier.”
Then he went on to say, “I admire Mother Teresa, who decided after winning the Nobel Prize that she would not go to accept any more recognition because it interfered with her work. She knew she was not in the business of accepting prizes; she was in the business of serving the poor of Calcutta (Fred Smith, Learning to Lead, Christianity Today, 1986, p. 29; www.PreachingToday. com).
You too are not in the business of accepting prizes. You are in the business of serving Christ and the people He calls you to serve. Be careful lest you become the cause in your own mind.
If you want to conquer jealous comparisons, 1st, recognize that God sovereignly gives whatever He wants to whoever He chooses. 2nd, recognize that God sent you to introduce Christ to the world, not to save it.
And 3rd, recognize that you play a supporting role, not the main role, in life. Realize that you are only the best man at the wedding, not the groom. Again, look at what John said to his dwindling followers.
John 3:29 “The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete” (ESV).
John says, “I am only the friend of the bridegroom,” or as we would put it, “I am only the best man at the wedding.”
Now, in Bible days, the best man made all the preliminary arrangements for the wedding. He loathed becoming the center of attention. Instead, he did all he could to make the groom look good. So when the groom gets all the attention, the best man rejoices, because that is his job.
Now, for the guys, let me change the metaphor from a wedding to the football field.
Several years ago (2010), Joe Posnaski, in Sports Illustrated, wrote about an obscure running back named Tony Richardson. Very few people remember him, because his primary role involved helping other running backs succeed: he blocks so they can run. Over the span of seventeen pro football seasons, teams have often paired Richardson with some of the best backs in pro football.
In 2001 he was slated to be the main running back, but instead he went to his teammate Priest Holmes and told him, “It's time for me to step out of the way. You need to be getting the ball. And I'm going to do everything I can to help you.” Holmes went on to lead the league in rushing, but Richardson never grew envious or resentful. As Holmes would report, “He used to call me up and say, ‘I just saw you on SportsCenter! He was happier for me than I was for myself.’”
All of the running backs that Richardson helped succeed contend that his influence went beyond blocking for them. He would constantly talk to them through the game, advising, pushing, encouraging, and inspiring them. In an interview, Tony Richardson said, “I can't explain it, but it just means more to me to help someone else achieve glory. There's something about it that feels right to me” (Joe Posnanski, “Made to Last,” Sports Illustrated, August 23, 2010, pp. 49-51; www.PreachingToday. com).
It feels right because it is right. You are not the main event in life; Christ is! You just play a supporting role.
So, if you want to conquer jealous comparisons, 1st, recognize that God sovereignly gives whatever He wants to whoever He chooses. 2nd, recognize that God sent you to introduce Christ to the world, not to save it. And 3rd, recognize that you play a supporting role, not the main role, in life. To put it succinctly…
HUMBLE YOURSELF.
In your own mind, decrease your own sense of importance to the world around you. Diminish those grandiose ideas of greatness, and accept the supporting role God has assigned to you. Again, look at what John said to his dwindling followers.
John 3:30 “He must increase, but I must decrease” (ESV).
This is the third of three “must’s” in John 3: 1st, there is the “must” of the sinner—you must be born again (John 3:7); 2nd, there is the “must” of the Savior—the Son of man must be lifted up (John 3:14); and 3rd, there is the “must” of the servant—He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30) (Warren Wiersbe).
I must focus all my energy and effort on Christ and let Him shine so much that people see only Him while I fade into the background.
In his book Xealots, Dave Gibbons reflects on the nature of true success. He writes:
Charlotte's Web is a wonderful little children's story by author E. B. White about a spider named Charlotte who lives in a barn just above the stall of a pig named Wilbur. Wilbur is worried that once he grows fat enough, the farmer is going to turn him into bacon. It's a valid concern.
Charlotte and Wilbur develop a close friendship, and as Wilbur grows larger, Charlotte uses all of her resources to try to rescue Wilbur. She writes messages in her web to convince the farmer that Wilbur is a pig worth saving. The story builds to the final chapter titled ‘The Moment of Triumph.’
So what was Charlotte's moment of triumph?
As the story draws to a close, Charlotte the spider is in the barn dying, while Wilbur the pig is being judged at the county fair. She can hear the roar of applause for Wilbur as he wins a blue ribbon, which saves his life. Charlotte finds great joy in knowing that her life has meant the success of another, her close friend, Wilbur. Though no one will remember her, the things she has done, and the sacrifices she has made, she is satisfied, having loved her friend in life and in death.
Gibbons adds, “[Success] is about fading. The great ones willingly move into irrelevance” (Dave Gibbons, Xealots, Zondervan, 2011, pp. 145-146; www.PreachingToday.com).
And that’s what you must do if you want to truly succeed. Fade into the background, and willingly move into irrelevance to support another’s success.
When Mother Teresa was passing through a crowd in Detroit, a woman remarked, “Her secret is that she is free to be nothing. Therefore, God can use her for anything” (Michael Glazier, Inc., catalog advertising Free to be Nothing, by Edward Farrell; Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no. 10; www.PreachingToday.com).
If you want to conquer jealous comparisons before they conquer you, humble yourself and…
EXALT THE SAVIOR.
Lift up Jesus. Magnify the Lord. Do everything you can to increase His popularity with the people around you. That’s what John does as he continues to talk to his dwindling followers. Take a look.
John 3:31 He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all (ESV).
John says Jesus is from above; I am only from the earth.
John 3:32-33 He bears witness to what he has seen and heard, yet no one receives his testimony. Whoever receives his testimony sets his seal to this, that God is true (ESV).
John says Jesus speaks of heavenly realities; I only speak of earthly realities.
John 3:34 For he whom God has sent utters the words of God, for he gives the Spirit without measure (ESV).
John says Jesus gives the Holy Spirit; I only baptize people in water (1:26).
John 3:35 The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand (ESV).
John says Jesus has all authority; I am only a voice crying in the wilderness (1:23).
John 3:36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him (ESV).
John says Jesus gives eternal life to everyone who believes in Him; I cannot extend your life even one second.
Tony Campolo talks about attending his first black funeral when he was 16 years old. Clarence, a friend, had died. “The pastor was incredible,” Campolo said. From the pulpit he talked about the Resurrection in beautiful terms. He had [everyone] thrilled. He came down from the pulpit, went to the family, and comforted them from the fourteenth chapter of John. “Let not your heart be troubled,” he said, “‘You believe in God, believe also in me,’ said Jesus. Clarence has gone to heavenly mansions.”
Then, for the last 20 minutes of the sermon, he actually preached to the open casket. He yelled at the corpse: “Clarence! Clarence!” He said it with such authority Campolo says he would not have been surprised had there been an answer. The pastor said, “Clarence, there were a lot of things we should have said to you that we never said to you. You got away too fast, Clarence. You got away too fast.” He went down this litany of beautiful things that Clarence had done for people. When he finished—here's the dramatic part—he said, “That's it, Clarence. There's nothing more to say. When there's nothing more to say, there's only one thing to say. Good night. Good night, Clarence!” He grabbed the lid of the casket and slammed it shut. “Good night, Clarence!” Boom!
Shock waves went over the congregation. As the preacher then lifted his head, you could see there was a smile on his face. He said, “Good night, Clarence. Good night, Clarence, because I know, I know that God is going to give you a good morning!” The choir stood and started singing, “On that great morning, we shall rise, we shall rise.” The congregation was dancing in the aisles and hugging each other. Campolo said, “I knew the joy of the Lord, a joy that in the face of death laughs and sings and dances, for there is no sting to death” (Tony Campolo, in the sermon “The Year of Jubilee,” www.PreachingToday.com).
That’s something Jesus accomplished for you when He died on the cross for your sins and rose again. Please, if you haven’t done it already, trust Christ with your life. Believe in Him. Put your faith in the Lord, so that you too can know joy in the face of death, because you have the assurance of eternal life.
That’s something only Jesus can give you, and that’s something John wants his dwindling followers to know. In fact, I imagine John pushing the rest of them away to follow Jesus.
While John diminished himself, he let Jesus shine, and that’s what you must do if you want to conquer jealous comparisons before they conquer you. Humble yourself and exalt the Savior.
Many people know about Isaac Newton and his famed encounter with a falling apple. Newton discovered and introduced the laws of gravity in the 1600s, which revolutionized astronomical studies. But few know that if it weren't for Edmund Halley, the world might never have learned from Newton.
It was Halley who challenged Newton to think through his original notions. Halley corrected Newton's mathematical errors and prepared geometrical figures to support his discoveries. Halley coaxed the hesitant Newton to write his great work, Mathematical Principals of Natural Philosophy. Halley edited and supervised the publication, and actually financed its printing even though Newton was wealthier and easily could have afforded the printing costs. Historians call it one of the most selfless examples in the annals of science.
Newton began almost immediately to reap the rewards of prominence; Halley received little credit. Halley did use the principles to predict the orbit and return of the comet that would later bear his name, but only after his death did he received any acclaim. And because the comet only returns every seventy-six years, the notice is rather infrequent. Halley remained a devoted scientist who didn't care who received the credit as long as the cause was being advanced (C.S. Kirkendall, Jr., Knoxville, Tennessee, Leadership, Vol. 7, no. 1; www.PreachingToday.com).
Halley embodied what John said here in verse 30: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” You do the same when it comes to Jesus Christ. Don’t worry about who gets the credit. Just advance the cause of Christ.
