Introduction
There’s not a one of us that hasn’t had to exercise the power of forgiveness on a regular basis. We are humans surrounded by humans, there is a lot to forgive. Sometimes it feels a little harder to forgive. Peter once asked, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” That’s a great question. How often do we have to forgive? Jewish Rabbis at the time taught that a man was to be forgiven three times, no more. Peter doubled that and added one! He probably thought he was going to get an attaboy! Bruner: The virtue in Peter’s question is the desire to be a frequently forgiving person.
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” - Matthew 18:22
Jesus taught a person should always be ready to forgive. But that is complicated our experience. The world says…If someone does you wrong, you should get them back.If someone offends, you should mistreat them.
If you offend others, then it is their tough luck. If you seek forgiveness, then you are weak.
These do not sound like teachings of Jesus! Forgiveness is a primary process in the kingdom. It is never seen more clearly than on the cross. Jesus tells a striking story to help us understand the significance of forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21-35, The Message
"The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. "The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt. "The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, 'Pay up. Now!' "The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, 'Give me a chance and I'll pay it all back.' But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king. "The king summoned the man and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?" The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that's exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."
1. What this Parable Teaches us About our King
-He is a source of Mercy. The unmerciful servant had a debt he could not pay. By one calculation, it would take over 4 million years to pay off the debt! We are to see this debt as unpayable. The king was moved with compassion for his servant. He released him and forgave the debt.
-He is a source of Grace. He not only is moved by compassion, but he is also willing to absorb the debt. He gives the man what only he can give. “When the king forgave his servant, he did not simply overlook that debt; he absorbed it. He assumed the loss and bore the cost himself. When the king said, ‘I forgive,’ at that moment it cost him dearly. (Stough)
-He is a source of Justice. When he heard that the forgiven servant did not forgive his own debtor, he acted in behalf of Justice. Can you imagine demanding payment from someone when you had just been forgiven? Our King does not ignore sin. It is immense. It separates us from God. It condemns us.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. -Hebrews 4:16
Our king is perfect in all of his ways - and he remains merciful, graceful, just - but what do we learn about our own Christian journey here? How can we power up forgiveness?
2. Principles of the Power of Forgiveness
-Forgiveness is Complex and Difficult. C. S. Lewis wrote, “Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” Forgiveness can be complex in that it has human limits. Forgiveness does not mean we continue to allow someone to hurt us with no intention to stop. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring danger signals in relationships. Forgiveness is complex given our emotional difficulty in letting things go - even when the other person is sorry. Forgiveness is difficult, but it is a part of discipleship.
-Forgiveness is Personal - God offers His forgiveness to us. Bruner: “We are in deep debt to God … we do not have the means to pay our debt.”
As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. -Psalm 103:12
We need to fully realize how fully we’ve been freed from guilt, leaving our shame far behind us. Bruner: “And if one person’s debt is worth 60 million denarii, what must the debt be, which Christ pays for us, of the sins of the whole world?!”
-Forgiveness is a choice - Forgiveness isn’t a feeling you float into, it’s a choice you make.
-Forgiveness is complete. When Jesus told us to forgive our brother seventy times seven, He wasn’t necessarily implying that the person had sinned against us 490 times. Perhaps they have only sinned against us once, but we have to get on our knees 490 times, because the old resentments keep popping into our hearts.
-Forgiveness is conditional. We understand we lose forgiveness if we refuse to forgive. Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." A man once said to John Wesley, “I never forgive!” Wesley responded, “Then I hope, sir, that you never sin.” God’s forgiveness and man’s are inseparably joined (Lightfoot). Bruner: “The judgment of God is as powerful a motivator as the mercy of God.”
3. HOW CAN I BE A FORGIVING PERSON
-Realize the benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness can lead to Healthier relationships, improved mental health, less anxiety, stress and hostility. Fewer symptoms of depression. Lower blood pressure and other health issues. Swindoll: “The saddest thing about those who suffer in the prison of unforgivenss is that they hold the key to their own cell.”
-Don’t get stuck - What happens if I can't forgive someone? Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn't admit wrongdoing. Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.
-What if the person who needs forgiveness is ME? Honestly assess the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, make amends. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses. You can't force someone to forgive you. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.
Conclusion
Why must we forgive others? Because we live in a kingdom where our King is merciful, graceful, and just.
It may be that a person fails to pass forgiveness on to others because he or she has never actually experienced true forgiveness from God. - Charles Swindoll
Forgiveness is never seen more clearly than on the cross. Perhaps you need the forgiveness of God today. Perhaps you need a forgiving spirit. Christ wants to forgive you of a debt of $20 million toward Him, and He wants you to forgive the $20 debts against you.
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Resources
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
Barclay, William. The Gospel of Matthew, Volume 2. Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1975.
Bruner, Frederick Dale. The Churchbook, Matthew 13-28. Eerdmans, 1990.
Coffman, James Burton. Bible Study Library CD-ROM. Abilene: ACU Press, 1989.
Lightfoot, Neil R. Lessons from the Parables. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1965.
Stough, Ron. “The Unmerciful Servant” in The Parables of Our Lord, Faulkner University Lectures; Montgomery: Faulkner University, 1994.
Swindoll, Charles R. Swindoll’s Living Insights: Matthew 16-28. Tydale, 2020.
