The world is full of all kinds of models of leadership. Some good, some not so good. Have you
ever had a boss like this? You know, in my life I've had some good bosses. I've had some ones
that not so good. I've had ones that I've learned from, that have encouraged me. I've had others
that were screamers and yellers. But the leader in where you work, in your home, in your
ministry really make a difference in your life. Think about as you've changed jobs. As you've
gone from a job with maybe a manager or a leader like this to a leader that was encouraging and
caring. Or the flip side, you had a really good job with a really good leader that all of a sudden
you ended up working at a place like this.
Here as we get into our study of Philemon, we're going to see Paul interacting with Philemon,
and Paul really becomes a model or demonstrates a model of Christian leadership. So today
we're going to look at three aspects of leadership. We're going to look at partnership, we're going
to look at motivation, and we're going to look at empowerment. We will see these through Paul's
communication here in this letter.
Now each of us in our lives are at some point on the balance of leadership. Sometimes we're
leaders, sometimes we have people that lead. That could be ten times throughout the day. Maybe
if we're in middle management and we're going from left to right. So we have the opportunity to
affect those that we lead; at the same time we are affected by other leaders. How we
communicate and how we're communicated with has a huge impact on our value of self-worth.
Right? This isn't really just about work. Think about at home. If you're married, you at least
should know how you communicate and treat your partner has a huge impact on the relationship.
The same is true in ministry and the church. How individuals lead has an impact on the
ministries.
Now Paul gives instructions to Timothy and Titus about sort of what the leadership structure of
the church should be. But I'm talking about the interpersonal interactions. I think for me, my role
here at the church along with Pastor Scott is to lead. But I view myself as a partner in the
ministry where we both serve a common goal. I have the expectation that those that are in
leadership in ministry have that same view that, yes, they are in a position of leadership, but they
are there as a partner. But to be clear, leaders at some time do need to assert their authority. But
knowing how and when to do that is what differentiates an acceptable leader from an exceptional
leader. We're going to see that today with Paul.
So we're going to look at this very short book, at 335 words. It is the third shortest book in the
Bible. But Paul uses all of those words to the fullest to model Christian leadership.
I think it's important when we start a new letter that we look at a bit of the history of the letter.
So I'm not going to bore you too much. This is only going to take a few minutes, but I think it's
important to sort of see where this letter fits into Paul's body of work.
Paul is attributed with writing thirteen letters in the New Testament. Typically they're divided
into two groups – the letters that are to the churches and the letters that are to individuals. Now
there's some debate over Hebrews, but we're going to say that he didn't write that for today. So
we're going to say we have thirteen letters here. But there's another way to divide them and that
is how Paul describes himself, how he introduces himself.
So in nine letters they’re a little bit different organized here, Paul describes himself as an apostle.
It's a way to sort of “Listen, hey, I have some instruction to give you. I'm telling you who I am
and this is my role.” When I worked with the youth, I used to ask them, “How did the Ten
Commandments begin?” And they’d always begin with the first commandment and I'd say, “No,
it actually begins with God telling Moses – I am the LORD your God, who led you out of the
land of Egypt.” God is establishing his authority to be able to do that. So Paul here in these
letters, says, “Hey, I'm an apostle, I have the authority to share what I'm sharing.”
But in four of his letters (the four that are listed here on the bottom right), he gives thankfulness.
He opens them in a very different way because the message he's trying to convey is different. So
if we look at his four personal letters, those to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon, in Timothy and
Titus he addresses himself as an apostle because he's giving instruction for this is how the church
is to function. But in Philemon… Philemon is very different. Philemon is the only letter of Paul's
that is a personal letter. He is personally communicating with Philemon. We will see this in how
Paul refers to himself and how he refers to Philemon in this letter. So let's dig in.
So as we start looking at the letter to Philemon, Paul writes – Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus,
and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and
Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God
our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always when I remember you in my
prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for
all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full
knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Jesus. For I have derived much joy
and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed
through you.
The first thing Paul does here is he describes a partnership that he has with Philemon and we can
see that in how Paul describes Philemon and Philemon’s family. Look at what he does here. He
describes Philemon as a fellow worker, a sister, a fellow soldier, and goes on to describe
Philemon as a brother. Paul is laying out here a partnership. And Paul uses the word for
partnership in verse 6 where here it's translated in our ESV a sharing of your faith, but in the
Greek it is the word that Paul uses for partnership. This is a key way that Paul views the
functioning of believers within the body. He refers to believers all as part of the body of Christ.
And how he addresses Philemon, he doesn't address by Philemon as Paul being an apostle, he
addresses Philemon as a brother.
God created us to be in partnerships. From the very beginning God created us to not be alone. I
think even when Jesus sent out His disciples, He sent them out into twos, as pairs, to be partners.
I think the value for that was that they were able to encourage one another and fellowship
together and maybe strategize together, relive the events of the day. Think about how you
interact with the partners in your life, how you interact maybe with your spouse. You discuss the
events of the day that helps your relationship grow and sustains your relationship. Think about
you and your coworker that maybe sits in the cubicle next to you or the desk across from you.
How do you interact and engage throughout the day? Right? We're designed to be partners and to
be in relationships.
Think about the partnership of the church. Paul describes the church as a body and he talked
about each part needing to do its work. He mentions that every part needs each other to function
correctly. And that's what a partnership is. It's coming together under a common purpose to
accomplish a common goal. It's not about us as individuals; it's about the whole working together
in humility. I'm going to get to humility in a bit.
Paul talked about something similar to this in 1 Corinthians. If you remember back to our study
from what was probably two years ago now, Paul was dealing with divisions within the church
and how he was saying some of the church are saying “I follow Peter” or “I follow Apollos” or
“I follow Paul,” but Paul says really it's not about anything. It's not about any of that. It's not
about any of the individual. It's about the head overall. It's about Christ. Paul saw divisions
taking place and he wanted to make sure he set the record straight. Paul is, I think, expressing
that same view here with Philemon. I think what a wonderful way for someone in authority to
view themselves, not as a boss or a manager, but as a partner.
Now Paul led Philemon to Christ. Paul is an apostle. He's met the risen Jesus. Paul is clearly
more seasoned in his walk. And if anybody could have walked with their chest out saying, “Hey,
I'm the boss, you need to do what I say,” I think it probably could have been Paul. But he doesn't.
How does he refer to them? Brother. Sister. Our. Bringing them together. I think how
encouraging is it for us to hear that from people that lead? But more importantly, how much can
we impact and encourage others when we refer to ourselves and them in such a way.
But in any partnership, there needs to be a little bit of organization. Right? So if there's not some
sort of organization within a partnership, things can go off the rails pretty quickly. When I
worked in the factory in Philly, we lived right next door to the… “We lived.” Yeah, I felt like I
lived at the office. No, I worked right next to the Northeast Corridor Line. So it's six rail lines
and all kinds of trains use it. At one point, they were replacing the rails. So they had this giant
machine, looks something like this. It would lift up the rails, pull out the ties, put the new tie in,
put everything down all in one step. This was very different from the olden days, the way they
used to do it, where you would have two or three guys hammering the stakes in. But there would
have to be one person in the back sort of coordinating and leading the team. Because imagine
this guy here on the right if his head was a little too far forward and the other guy came swinging
over the top. So there needed to be someone to sort of organize their partnership to get the work
done the right way.
But that's what Paul does here. Paul begins to organize the partnership he has with Philemon to
motivate Philemon to action. So starting in verse 8 he says – Accordingly, though I am bold
enough in Christ to command you. So Paul is saying, hey, listen, I have the authority to do this. I
am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love's sake I prefer to
appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus—I appeal to you for
my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to
you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my
very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your
behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent
in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this
perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no
longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me,
but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
See, Paul is motivating Philemon to action in two ways. One way, he's restraining his authority.
So Paul here is exhibiting restraint. He says although I am bold enough in Christ to command
you to do this, I'm not going to. But for love's sake, I want to appeal to you. But then it gets me
thinking why. So if we’re familiar with the letter, if we're familiar with what's going on, we
know the end, we kind of know Onesimus is coming in here. But I want to spend a minute to sort
of say, okay, why is Paul appealing to Philemon? He says – I'm appealing to you for my child
Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. So now we're not talking about his
biological father, of course. Paul has ministered to Philemon. He has shared the gospel with him.
He starts developing Philemon into a disciple. Obviously there's a whole sermon series on that.
That's not why we're here today. But Paul sees the change in Onesimus and is sending him back.
But in Paul sending Onesimus back, Paul is committed to sacrifice. So what does Paul say here?
I am sending him back to you, but I'm sending my very heart. Paul is conveying that he has a
relationship with Onesimus. He has made a personal connection with him. Onesimus has
provided him with comfort. But Paul is saying, listen, I want to set that aside. I'm going to set
aside my benefits. I'm going to send him back to you for your own benefit.
But besides the emotional connection that Paul has with Onesimus, Onesimus I think is a
personal help to Paul. He says – I would have been glad to keep him with me, that in order he
might be able to serve you on my behalf. I think in verse 14, Paul again appeals to Philemon. But
I think we need to see for a minute what it is that he's appealing to him for. So here Paul sort of
starts to describe okay, what's going on? What has Onesimus done? He says – For this reason,
perhaps is why he has parted with you for a while. So Onesimus was with Philemon and now
Onesimus has left Philemon and he’s with Paul. Verse 16 gives us the clue. He says – So that so
that when he goes back he will no longer be a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a
beloved brother. See, Onesimus was an indentured servant to Philemon, essentially a slave to
Philemon, and he has run away. So now Paul has a decision to make, right? He has this
compounded problem of Onesimus who now has committed this crime, who could stay and
could serve Paul and be a benefit to Paul. Paul could keep him and protect him. But Paul says,
no, I want to send him back. Maybe to face some of the consequences, but really to go and to
serve the Lord with Philemon.
I think Paul could have made the easy decision and say, hey, just stay with me. But he made the
right decision. Which decision was about Paul and which decision was about Christ?
I think the way any partnerships succeed and grow is by humility and remembering who we
serve. Paul demonstrates two types of humility here. I think there's a personal humility, the
humility between Paul and Philemon. I mean, it really must have taken a tremendous amount of
Christian character for Paul to set aside all his personal desires to go and send Onesimus to serve
Philemon. But I think Paul also demonstrates humility to Christ. Paul, again, could have kept
him, but he knew what was the best for the kingdom. He sent Onesimus back, not just to be
Philemon’s physical servant and to face the consequences and maybe resume his role, but he sent
him back to be a bondservant, a servant for Christ. We see in how Paul has introduced us to
Philemon, how he's interacted with Philemon, he sees himself and them as all bondservants for
Christ, all as brothers and sisters. And this is how Paul refers to Onesimus as well. He elevates
Onesimus into the same category and group as himself and Philemon.
You know, sometimes when we're leading, we can lose focus on why we've been called for the
role that we're in. When I was at the factory, I had a manager that reported to me and he lost
focus of why he was in the role that he was in. I had the opportunity to promote an individual
who worked on the factory floor in a position where he earned like $2 an hour or more. This was
a great opportunity for him. He wanted to move from being the janitor to being the truck driver. I
said, “Great, you're qualified. I give you the opportunity to do that.” But this manager said,
“No.” He said because it would be inconvenient for him if he were to leave that position to move
to the other. Like, no, you're missing the point of why you're in the role that you're in. Right? He
was more concerned about himself than about the greater good.
You know, obviously leading is a tremendous amount of what Pastor Scott and I do. The
important part about being a leader is to plan for what happens in six months, a year, five years
down the road. We just spent some time discussing about the vision for what's coming up in the
fall. Some of these are ministries that we've had all along, others are a continuation. Some of
these are new, like we talked about the Dinner for Eight. Others are still in the planning stages,
we have things that are in the pipeline that we're not ready to reveal yet because we're looking
three, four steps ahead. But when we have ministries here at the church and we have individuals
come forward with ideas, or we have an idea for ministry and we seek out leaders, a huge thing
that we do is empower leaders in those ministries to excel.
This is exactly what Paul does with Philemon. Paul says to Philemon – So if you consider me a
partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you
anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand: I will pay it back—not to
mention that you owe me your very self. I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from
you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing
that you will do even more than I ask.
So he says – If you consider me a partner. See, Paul has a vision for how Onesimus can benefit
the kingdom. And he doesn't direct Philemon to take him back. He doesn’t say, “Hey, take back
in Onesimus. This is how I think he should be used.” He says – So if you… So he's putting the
decision at Philemon’s feet. He's empowering Philemon to make the right decision, hopefully the
decision that Paul wants him to make. So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you
would me.
When you empower someone, when you empower someone to make a decision, you empower
someone to work independently, you're displaying and exhibiting confidence in them. Too often
I think we kind of get caught up in the minutiae. I've had that problem. When I started out in my
career, I was a micromanager. I was so concerned about making sure the stuff was done exactly
the way that I wanted them to be done. But I just came to realize that's not the point of being a
leader. The point of being a leader is empowering others to make those decisions independently
to all work towards the common goal. It displays confidence. What does Paul say in verse 21?
Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask. Not
only is Paul confident that Philemon will do what he's asking, he's confident that he will do
more. What a wonderful way for us when we interact with somebody when we're leading a
ministry, to say “Listen, hey, I'm confident not just in your ability to do what we're asking you to
do, but I know that you're going to excel.” Think about times that people say, “Listen, hey,
Charlie, I know you're going to excel. Just go at it.” So how encouraging has that been to us
when we hear it? I think it's important that when we lead that we encourage others with
confidence and inspire them with confidence the same way.
Paul continues on. He says – Oh and one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I
hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers. I plan to stop by at some time, so keep the
light on. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ, sends you greetings. And so do Mark,
Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers. Again, describing them as partners. The grace
of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
See, Paul here has demonstrated a model for Christian leadership, something that we can apply
in our work, in our hobbies, in our home, and in our church. He has taken a situation of a
runaway slave and a thief, an individual that likely could have faced capital punishment, but
turned it into an opportunity to serve the great kingdom. Paul was so connected to Onesimus. He
evangelized to him, he taught him, he discipled him, he developed him to an individual that
could serve not just himself and not just Philemon, but could serve the Lord. What an image of
going and sending. Sending Onesimus to serve.
Paul modeled the type of partnership in ministry leadership, authority by coming alongside,
encouraging and motivating. Paul did this by demonstrating restraint in his authority. He could
have just asserted himself, but he didn't. He knew the best way to encourage and to motivate
Philemon was to show him that ministry is not about personal preference, but about commitment
to the body. He could have kept Onesimus, but he sent him on. And I think lastly, Paul
empowered Philemon to lead. To make the right decision at the right time, just the way that Paul
was himself doing.
So wherever you're leading, take a lesson from Paul here. It's not about us. It's not about going
through the motions and it’s not just about doing tasks. Right? If it was all those things, scripture
says just doing those things is just dirty rags. But it's about partnering with those that support
you, motivating them to serve the Lord through your actions of patience, confidence, sacrifice,
and humility.
