Today, I want to speak to you on this subject “Heal My Home.” Find Malachi 4 with me if you will [page 955 in your pew Bibles]. I have been challenged by Malachi, the Minor Prophet and I hope you have been challenged as well. As close out the last book in the Bible, the prophet Malachi directs our attention to our homes.
Today’s Scripture
“Remember the law of my servant Moses, the statutes and rules that I commanded him at Horeb for all Israel.
5 “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction” (Malachi 4:4-6).
Isn’t it fascinating that the last thing the Hebrew Bible says is to turn the father’s heart to his children and vice versa? After Malachi, it will be 400 plus years before any prophet speaks again in Israel. God wants the last words to be devoted to the home.
This past week, we did a five-question survey about our church’s teenagers' relationship with their fathers. We asked our church’s middle school and high school students five questions and one bonus question about their relationship with their father this week. We asked fathers to answer the same five questions as well. While moms are super important, the text of Scripture mentions fathers specifically. Again, we simply asked the students and their parents involved in our church’s student ministry group to respond.
And here’s what we found: When we asked about a teenager’s relationship with their father, this is what we discovered. 83% said they were very close to each other. 13% said they were somewhat close to each other.
When we asked the father about his relationship with his teen, we discovered this. 66% of fathers said they were very close to each other. 31% of fathers said they were somewhat close to each other.
We also asked about the father’s faith, and we’ll share more about this in just a minute. We even asked teens how often their father hugged them, and here’s what we found: 63% of our church’s teens said their dad hugs them often, and around another ¼ of them said he occasionally does. I couldn’t remember the last time I hugged my kids, so I made sure I did so ahead of this message ?. Now, these survey numbers and percentages are excellent. So good that it made me wonder if only the people who have good relationships with their kids responded and those that did not did not respond.
The truth be told: Our nation is missing the adhesive to the family, our Heavenly Father, and our early fathers.
1. Turning Hearts Toward Home
“And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction” (Malachi 4:6).
The last verse in your Old Testament wants to bridge the generation gap. Families break down in many ways, but Malachi focuses his laser on the relationship between fathers and children. Literally, the Hebrew says, “I will bring back the hearts of parents on top of children.”
1.1 What This Isn’t
The Bible doesn’t just want families to be closely connected. The Bible wants the family to be closely tied together, obeying God. The close ties of the family are to be centered around the supremacy of God in everything the generations do. So this isn’t, “I like Johnny Cash and you like Luke Combs,” but let’s still be close no matter how much your music stinks ?. The Bible doesn’t want simply generational closeness around the dinner table. No, this is every generation united in obeying the will of the Lord in every matter of life. Again, God seeks to turn the hearts of fathers back to their children. And children’s hearts back to the fathers. Again, the missing adhesive to the family is our Heavenly Father and our earthly father.
1.2 Fathers
The Bible calls on you to hand the faith down from one generation to the next: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
Dad, we need you. Unfortunately, we live in a day when our children are over-mothered or under-fathered. When you think of it, there are nine months in a woman's womb, and they spend most of their time after they are born in the early years with their mothers. If they go to a nursery, it’s probably a woman taking care of them in the nursery; in elementary school, it’s probably a woman. If you have to get a babysitter to watch the kids while you go somewhere, it’s probably a woman. Again, we are over-mothered, and we are under-fathered.
Dad, we need you. You are to model what Christianity looks like for the next generation. Every family is coming under attack right now.
Families need to encourage one another to be faithful to Christ.
1.3 Single Families
Now, if you are a single-parent family, God is for you. It’s a pre-Covid survey for a couple of miles around our NRH campus, but I don’t think anything has changed. 44% of families are single-parent families within a couple of miles around our church.
Single dads, we need you. Make your faith meaningful even if you get the kids for the weekend. Even if your kids are her kids from a different marriage, make faith in the Lord God important. Yes, single families have some obstacles, but you can do this.
Rutgers sociology professor David Popenoe says fathers are needed in the family. In just three decades, the number of children living away from their dads doubled. Science tells us that the father plays differently than the mother. He encourages a child’s independence, risk-taking, and more aggression. Yes, moms have a distinct contribution to the family in a way that a father cannot contribute. But the need of our day is fathers. Fathers that are engaged are truly rare. “Daddy Deprivation” was coined by Blake Wilson, a Houston pastor, to describe the cultural phenomena where children grow up without their fathers.
Moms, champion your children’s father in every way that is both truthful and possible. And single families can make it when the dad is engaged.
1.4 What’s a Curse?
Look what happens if we fail to connect fathers and children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Science and sociology agree with the Bible’s emphasis on the father. Many of your translations say the word “curse.”
I get really squeamish around people that talk about curses a lot. People who love to blame things on a curse often skirt personal responsibility. But the Bible speaks about curses, so we must speak about them too. A curse is when God is working against you rather than for you. The prophet says that God will “strike the land with a decree of utter destruction” at the end of verse 6. If you fail to repent, God will actively work against you rather than for you. If you fail to come together as a family under the banner of the Lord Jesus, God says, “I’ll actively work against rather than for you. God says, “If you do not want your land destroyed, then connect the father's heart to the child and vice versa.” “If you do not want your nation to unravel, then make sure you spiritually parent the next generation.” It’s not that God is saying, “I WANT TO curse you.” That’s the furthest thing from God’s mind.
God loves you and wants to bless your family. God is saying, “If you keep going further from Me, then you’re going into the realm that is a cursed realm.”
There’s a lot of talk in the church about the next generation going to church. But look at this. When parents stay together, the next generation is just as likely to go to church no matter the generation from my parent's generation (Boomers), where 35% of the next generation when to church when mom and dad stay together…… to the Millennial generation where 32% of the next generation goes to church when mom and dad stay together. Little had changed in several decades when mom and dad stayed together. Churches are spending millions on student ministry all over America, but we cannot improve on the design of marriage for the next generation.
1. Turning Hearts Toward Home
2. Teaming Up for a Spiritual Housecleaning
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes” (Malachi 4:5).
2.1 Why Elijah?
Elijah was famous for his effectiveness in converting the Israelites back to faith in the true God, Yahweh (1 Kings 18:37). God’s messenger will restore the hearts of the father to their children. This point is so vital that God repeats it in the last book of the Bible: “Behold, I send my messenger, and he will prepare the way before me. And the Lord whom you seek will suddenly come to his temple; and the messenger of the covenant in whom you delight, behold, he is coming, says the LORD of hosts” (Malachi 3:1). Later on, Malachi will tell us this: “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes” (Malachi 4:5). The situation was a familiar one in the ancient Orient, for whenever a king was about to arrive at a town or village, messengers were sent ahead in order to allow the towns and villages to make the necessary preparations to receive the king.
2.2 John the Baptist
About 400 years go by, and Jesus is talking about John the Baptist, whom Jesus called a really great man. John was all kinds of things, including a grasshopper-eating, desert-stalking prophet wearing camel-hair clothing and a leather belt (Matthew 3:4). Needless to say, John, the Baptist was different. Jesus asks a throng of people, “What did you go out to the desert to see?” Then the Son of God quotes Malachi 3:1 from memory as He described His cousin, John the Baptist: “What then did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 27 This is he of whom it is written, ‘Behold, I send my messenger before your face, who will prepare your way before you’ (Luke 7:26-27).
Typically when royalty came to a town in ancient days, messengers went before the king and queen. They would level the roads, fill in ruts, remove boulders in the king’s path, and straighten the way for the royal queen. But John wasn’t worried about roads; He was concerned about hearts. Instead, John morally and spiritually prepared the path for Jesus (Matthew 3:3). Just as Malachi predicted, John did this and more. Approximately 450 years after Malachi, John met these religious teachers who talked about God coming and how much they were looking forward to God coming and on and on. But we all know that talk is cheap. When those same religious leaders came out to John to put on a show for baptism, John once again prepared the way of the Lord by saying this: “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8 Bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (Matthew 3:7b). John did a spiritual housecleaning! Just a Malachi predicted.
1. Turning Hearts Toward Home
2. Teaming Up for a Housecleaning
3. Training Hearts toward Heaven
“Remember the law of my servant Moses, the statutes and rules that I commanded him at Horeb for all Israel” (Malachi 4:4).
As your child ages, they will experience freedom from your authority. One day, they will be capable of making their own decisions. But until that day, they need to obey you as their authority. You are to use your authority to get them to see God and His word as their authority.
3.1 Moses and Horeb
In every area of life, we are to remember the commands of the Bible. Horeb is another name for Mount Sanai. Moses receives the Ten Commandments at Horeb. Dad and mom, you are God’s representative on earth for your child to understand there is a moral and spiritual authority. As your child ages, they will experience freedom from your authority. One day, they will be capable of making their own decisions. But until that day, they need to obey you as their authority. You are to use your authority to get them to see God and His word as their authority.
3.2 Musicians and Athletes
Think of it: when a bunch of musicians gets together, they follow a conductor. To have a symphony, you need a conductor. You must have a ref if you get together to play a game, no matter the sport. If they don’t listen to the referee, and if everyone there says, “Well, I want to play by my rules,” there’s not going to be a game. But if they listen to the ref, there may be a game. If they listen to the conductor, there may be a symphony.
3.3 Dads and their Spirituality
Again, we asked about a teenager’s assessment of much his father reads the Bible, and here’s what we found:
37% every morning.
33% some mornings
13% few mornings.
And 17% of teens said their father didn’t read the Bible daily.
When we asked the father about his reading the Bible daily,
26% every morning.
46% some mornings
14% few mornings.
And 14% of dads said they didn’t read the Bible daily.
When we asked teenagers this question: “For my dad, the Bible is ...”
83% the final authority for life
13% one thing you should at least consider
We asked the father this question: “For me, the Bible is ...”
91% the final authority for life
9% one thing you should at least consider
There’s a lot of good here.
3.3 Your City Surrounded
Imagine for a moment that your city is surrounded by enemy forces who aim to destroy your family and you.
You become aware that enemy sympathizers are living and working in your city, hoping to undermine your city’s defenses.
You do everything possible to ensure your family doesn’t listen to the lies of their argument. Fathers, you need to be a voice in your children’s heads, the walls of defense for their minds. Teach them to think carefully about consequences, especially the moral consequences of their decisions. It’s a crucial life lesson.
3.4 Conclusion
Dad, you are the pastor of your home, my friend. Pray for your family. Put your phone down, turn the TV off, and engage with your family. Purposefully get your children away from distractions to have spiritual conversations. Read the Bible with your children.
