When I say the word “marriage,” what do you think? Are you a little jaundice about the idea of marriage? I spoke to a lady recently who said when I got married I was looking for the ideal, instead, the marriage became an ordeal, so now I want a new deal.
One day, a man went to the Super Bowl, sitting there with an empty seat beside him. The gentleman sitting next to him said, “Was that your seat? I see no one sitting there.” He said, “Yes. My wife and I had these tickets, but she died recently. And none of our friends who I invited could make it to the Super Bowl either. So the seat is empty.” He said, “None of your friends could make it to the Super Bowl? Really?” He said, “No, they couldn’t.” He said, “Wow! The biggest sports event in all history, and they missed the Super Bowl.” He said, “Yeah, they’re all at HER funeral.”
Yes, many are down on the idea of marriage, and it’s easy to get a laugh when talking about marriage. But maybe you are more hopeful about the idea of marriage?
Cynical about Marriage
People are so cynical about marriage that they don’t bother tying the knot. Millennials are hesitant to tie the knot at all. Remember that Millennials are born between 1984 to 1998. Marriage is diminishing in our society, probably due to increased cynicism over lifelong married love. The number of American adults over twenty-five who have never been married is at an all-time high. In 1960, only one in ten adults over twenty-five were never married. While in 2012, the number of adults who’ve never married is now one in five. Again, people are so cynical about marriage that they don’t bother tying the knot. And it’s not just young people. A recent study says that those fifty and older are among the fastest growing segment of the population to cohabitate.
I want to sell you on the benefits of lifelong marriage in the next few moments. In the next few moments, I want to help you celebrate marriage, whether married, divorced, or single. God gave us marriage for our happiness. God gave us marriage to be a blessing in our lives. Your marriage can serve as a catalyst for your relationship with God.
Today’s Scripture
Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? 11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!
13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless” (Malachi 2:10-16).
This morning, I want to talk with you about the American problem of throwaway marriages. If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then…
1. Be a Faithful Person
“Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers? 11 Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god” (Malachi 2:11).
If you want to have a happy home, be a faithful person.
1.1 Faithless vs. Faithful
“Why then are we faithless to one another,” the prophet asks. While Malachi will move to marriage at the end of verse 11, the prophet speaks against our faithlessness to one another at the beginning of verse 11. He asks two rhetorical questions, “Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us?” If we are created by God, then why are we faithless to one another?
To be faithless is the opposite of faithful. When you are faithless, you simply do not honor your agreements. God takes it as a personal injury when you break trust with someone. God loves people so much, God values people so much that when you break faith with someone else, the Bible says you have “profaned the sanctuary of the Lord” in verse 11. God wants you to be a trustworthy person, my friend.
1.2 Worship in Malachi
Pause and think with me for a moment. Worship is all over the book of Malachi. Look back at verse 6 of chapter 1 with me: “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name. But you say, ‘How have we despised your name’” (Malachi 1:6)? God complains about the worship practices again in verse 10: “Oh that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might not kindle fire on my altar in vain! I have no pleasure in you, says the Lord of hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hand” (Malachi 1:10). And not to be outdone, God speaks about their polluted worship one more time in verse 2 of chapter 2: “If you will not listen, if you will not take it to heart to give honor to my name, says the Lord of hosts, then I will send the curse upon you and I will curse your blessings. Indeed, I have already cursed them, because you do not lay it to heart” (Malachi 2:2).
Again, worship is all over the book of Malachi. God’s people were wasting their worship. God says, “Your breaking trust impacts your worship of Me.”
1.3 Watertight Bulkheads and the Titanic
If you were to hear the words “Watertight Bulkheads,” some of you would automatically think about the Titanic. Watertight Bulkheads were the watertight walls inside the Titanic; they were used to store water and keep the ship floating if they were any damaged compartments on the ship. The Titanic had sixteen of these bulkheads, and the ship could stay afloat if as many as four were damaged. But the ship would be in trouble if five or more were damaged. But, the Titanic’s bulkheads didn't extend all the way up to the height of all decks, and they weren't sealed at the top. When more than four of these compartments were flooded, water reached over the top of the bulkheads and flooded the rest of the compartments until the famous ship sank. So many Christians operate as if their worship is a tightly sealed bulkhead away from the rest of their lives. Again, when you break trust with someone, God takes it as a personal injury.
1.3 Trust
God says, “Your breaking trust impacts your worship of Me.” All of our relationships are built on trust. Children to parents, and parents to children. Have you broken faith with your children or your parents? Have you broken faith with your employer? Have you broken faith with your employees? Again, all of our relationships are built on trust.
1.4 Keeping Trust in Marriage
Perhaps the bedrock of human trust is husbands to wives and wives to husbands. The Bible shows us how even our marriages waste our worship. You don’t have your marriage life in one compartment and your worship life in a separate compartment. God doesn’t see your life sectioned off as “Watertight Bulkheads.” Instead, He sees your home life and your worship as intimately connected: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
Husbands, your prayers are impacted by the honor you show your wife. Your worship is interconnected with your marriage, and your marriage is interconnected with your worship. So if your marriage hits a Titanic iceberg, your marriage compartment will flood, and it will flood over into your worship of God compartment. Your marriage impacts your worship. You cannot hermetically seal your marriage off from your worship life as if they are in two compartments. If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then…
1.5 Be the Kind of Spouse You’d Want to be Married to
A good marriage… extends grace to you when you are grumpy; remembers your birthdays, your favorite foods, and your favorite music; celebrates your wins; speaks the truth when no one else will; serves one another with joy without complaining; becomes excited about what I am excited about, and affirms my best qualities when I am insecure.
Do you want all that in a marriage and more? Then become this for your spouse. You cannot change him. You cannot change her. But, you can be the kind of spouse you want to marry. If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then…
1. Be a Faithful Person
2. Marry a Faithful Believer
“Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts” (Malachi 2:11-12)!
The other day, I asked my wife, Traci, “Will you love me when I am old and ugly.” She said, “Sweetheart, of course, I do.”
2.1 Religious Intermarriage
When the Bible says, “and has married the daughter of a foreign god,” it talks about religious intermarriage. The people who claimed to know the Lord were marrying people who worshipped other gods. The Bible says it is absolutely wrong for a believer to marry an unbeliever.
2.2 How Do You Pick a Spouse?
What do you look for when you pick someone to marry? The guy says, “Is she hot?” The girl says, “Is he cute? Is he a jerk?” And off you go. It would help if you put serious thought into your fiancé’s faith. You need to think about the faith of the one you date seriously. If you want a marriage that God blesses, check out his relationship with the Lord. But direct your eyes to her worship, her witness for Christ, and her walk with the Lord. What kind of priority does he place on attending church? Has she shared what God is personally teaching her? Do you pray together? If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then marry a faithful believer.
2.3 Solomon
Years before the prophet Malachi lived, the great king Solomon. “For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father” (1 Kings 11:4). Solomon got himself in a mess and his kingdom in a mess. Not only did he go wrong when he married more than one wife, but Solomon married outside of his faith. Marrying someone outside of your faith will probably move you off your faith. Why would you want to marry someone outside of your faith when your relationship with Almighty God is the centerpiece of your life?
2.4 It’s Not Race
“Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts” (Malachi 2:11-12)!
It is important not to confuse religious intermarriage and ethnic intermarriage. The Bible champions people such as Ruth, Rahab, and even Moses’ Cushite wife. All these are people of different races who were welcomed into the people of God because they accepted the true faith. So this has nothing to do with race and everything to do with faith! If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then…
1. Be a Faithful Person
2. Marry a Faithful Believer
3. Make Your Home a Place of Worship
“Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15).
Notice the extension in verse 15 where the blessing is beyond a good spouse but wonderful children. I want to be brief in this aspect in the interest of time.
3.1 Barna Study
The people of Barna did a survey of how faith is handed down from generation to generation in the home. Look at this with me for a moment on the screens. Barna discovered four different types of homes when it comes down to passing down our Christian faith. You can see the percentages and the colors. First, there is what they are calling, Vibrant. These households talk about God or faith together weekly, pray together every day or two, and read the Bible together weekly. One in four U.S. practicing Christians lives in a household that qualifies as Vibrant.
Second, there is what they are calling, Devotional. These households talk about God or faith together weekly, pray together every day or two, and read
the Bible together weekly. One in three U.S. practicing Christians lives in a household that qualifies as Devotional. Third, there is what they are calling, Stationary. About one in seven U.S. practicing Christians lives in a household that qualifies as Stationary. Lastly, there is what they are calling, Dormant. These households do not talk about God or faith together weekly, do not pray together every day or two, and they do not read the Bible together weekly. They might participate in some of these spiritual activities, but not all of them at this frequency. Over one-quarter of U.S. practicing Christians lives in a household that qualifies as Dormant.
Having children in a household is a spark for conversations and activities related to faith. Mothers surpass fathers (and most individuals) in multiple dimensions of closeness and faith formation, even when children are grown. Be aware that if you have experienced a bad marriage or a divorce, either as a child or an adult, your view of marriage may be overly wary and pessimistic. Again, there is a lot of cynicism around the subject of marriage. If you want to have a happy home and a marriage that acts as a catalyst for your spiritual growth, then…
1. Be a Faithful Person
2. Marry a Faithful Believer
3. Make Your Home a Place of Worship
4. Stay Married
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless” (Malachi 2:16).
A young lady from Chattanooga, TN recently spoke about her divorce on TikTok. She said, “Going through a divorce as a … woman feels like you failed at life sometimes. The way the community labels you, the lack of emotional support you receive, and the pressure to stay with someone because ‘what will people say’ is isolating. It makes it harder for women to leave marriages that they shouldn't have been in, to begin with.” Divorce is a really challenging topic and the Bible wants your marriage to last a lifetime.
So many traditional Christian wedding services have a set of questions before the couple recites their vows. In the questions, I will ask each spouse is asked something like this: “Will you have this woman to be your wife? And will you make your promise to her in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness — to live with her, and cherish her, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?” Each spouse answers to me “I will” or “I do” and notice carefully they are not speaking to each other. They are looking forward and technically answering to me, the minister. I am asking them the questions. What they are really doing is making a vow to God before they turn and make vows to one another. They are “speaking vertically” before they speak horizontally. The covenant made between a husband and a wife is done “before God” and therefore with God as well as the spouse. To break faith with your spouse is to break faith with God at the same time.
Conclusion
Jesus Christ is a faithful spouse. The Bible uses the metaphor of marriage when you embrace Christ by faith. To be saved and converted is to ask God to forgive you of your sins and marry Christ. Again, Jesus Christ is a faithful spouse.
