Introduction
Opening Illustration
“Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.” -Hebrews 12: 15
Max Lucado begins Chapter 11 (“Revenge Feels Good, But Then . . .”) of You’ll Get Through This with the story of businessman Joseph Richardson, who lived in New York City in 1882. He owned a narrow strip of land, 5 feet wide and 104 feet long, that fronted Lexington Avenue. Another businessman, Hyman Sarner, owned a normal-sized property adjacent to Mr. Richardson’s property. He intended to build apartments on that property and wanted to buy Mr. Richardson’s land, so that his apartment building windows would overlook the avenue. He offered Mr. Richardson $1000 for his land. Insulted, Mr. Richardson refused the offer. After Mr. Sarner’s building was completed, Mr. Richardson built a house on his narrow strip. Dubbed the “Spite House”, Mr. Richardson lived there the last 14 years of his life, his narrow house reflecting his narrow state of mind.
Pastor Lucado comments:
“Revenge builds a lonely house. Space enough for one person. The lives of its tenants are reduced to one goal: make someone miserable. They do. Themselves. . . . healing includes a move out of the house of spite, a shift away from the cramped world of grudge and toward spacious ways of grace, away from hardness and toward forgiveness. He (God) moves us forward by healing our past.”
From https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2013/10/21/the-spite-house/
1. Spite: a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone:
"he'd think I was saying it out of spite"
synonyms:
malice · maliciousness · ill will · ill feeling · spitefulness · bitterness ·
[more]
VERB
1. deliberately hurt, annoy, or offend (someone):
"he put the house up for sale to spite his family"
From Bing search
If you would turn in your Bibles to Genesis 4.
(Gen 4:1) Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, "I have acquired a man from the LORD." (Gen 4:2) Then she bore again, this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. (Gen 4:3) And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. (Gen 4:4) Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering,
(Gen 4:5) but He did not respect Cain and his offering.
Why?
There is a noticeable difference between the sacrifice of Cain and Able.
1) It was a matter of faith
Whereas Abel’s sacrifice was a sacrifice of faith Cain’s was not.
The Bible says of Abel’s offering that it was “the firstlings of his flock and the fat thereof.” Abel’s offering was of the first of the flock but not just of the first but it was of the best of the first. It was the best he had. You could say the best of the best. He knew God and wanted to give him his best. The thing about Abel’s sacrifice was that it was something close to his heart. Able had raise this sacrifice since it was a lamb. He had delivered it and watched it grow. This was something close to his heart yet he still gave it up as a sacrifice.
Of Cain’s offering the Bible reads, “Cain brought of the first of the ground and offering unto the Lord.” It would seem as the wording states that Cain brought what he felt to give to the Lord. Maybe he felt the Lord did need his prime tomatoes and potatoes. I mean all he did was burn them anyway. Maybe he felt it would be a waste.
And with this came the loss of respect for his sacrifice.
Some people are like Cain. They don’t trust the Lord enough to give him their best. They figure they could get more for their best than the Lord could.
2) It was a matter of attitude.
Abel’s attitude was, “give his best to the Lord and the Lord will always give his best back”.
With what Cain gave to the Lord we see that his attitude was not right. His attitude was not to the Lord but to himself. I don’t care if he would have given him the best of what he had
3) It was a matter of humility, forgiveness of sins.
(Heb 11:4) By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks.
Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works (actions) were evil, and his brother's righteous. (1 John 3:12 AV)
4) Cain’s offering was obtained by his own hands, as God told Adam
Gen 3:17-19 And to the man he said, “Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. (18) It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. (19) By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.”
And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. (Gen 4:6) So the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance (demeanor, attitude, perception) fallen?
That is a good question. Why is he angry? When we get angry if we stop for a moment and ask, Why am I angry? Some even use the technique that says count to 10 so you could calm down. I have been angry that I needed to count to 100.
Why was Cain angry? Maybe it was pride. Maybe he was offended (which is a common term today, we live in a day where everyone is offended. Or afraid of offending.
Maybe it was the feeling of rejection.
Anger is a powerful emotion
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger rests in the lap of fools.
James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Gal 5:19-23 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, (20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, (21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
There are options
(Gen 4:7) If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it."
NLT 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”
This is learning to master our emotions. There is nothing wrong with them but when they get out of hand.
Results of Anger
(Gen 4:8) Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.
We may never murder someone but we can sever the relationship. It is as though they are “dead to us”. So that now can never show the true light of Christ.
(Gen 4:9) Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" He said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?" (Gen 4:10) And He said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood cries out to Me from the ground.
Results
Gen 4:10-12 But the LORD said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! (11) Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. (12) No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.”
Because of Cain’s anger that led to murder he became a wonder of the land.
Conclusion
How to overcome anger?
1) Take a few moments and pause. Breath, count, pray, take a step back.
2) Know the reason of why you are angry? Is it rejection, is it hurt,
3) Evaluate the cause, Is there a cause to be angry?
4) Learn to be patient
