OPEN: In the 1700s, there was a poet named Samuel Coleridge was talking with a friend who’d come to visit one day. During the conversation they got around to the subject of children. The visitor said “I believe children should be given the freedom to make all their own decisions. Parents should not decide what their offspring should think or do. This will help their children to learn how to grow up to their full potential.” The poet smiled and said: That’s interesting.” (and then he paused). “Say, while you’re here, why don’t you come outside and see my flower garden.” So, they got up and went outside, and when they reached the garden plot, the visitor was shocked. “This isn’t a flower garden! There’s nothing here but weeds!” The poet said. “Yes. It used to be filled with roses, but this year I decided to just let the garden grow as it wished. I didn’t think it needed to be weeded or cared for. And this is the result.”
APPLY: What that poet was saying was this: Parents; Grandparents; and Uncles & Aunts need to help shape the minds of children. Left to their own “devices”, children tend to grow up wild and untamed. And instead of growing to the full potential, they often grow up wounded and broken adults.
That’s what today’s text is telling us. In Proverbs 3:1-2 a father is telling his son: “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.”
Notice, this father was telling his son that – if the boy kept his father’s commandments - he’d have years of life and peace ahead of him. Now… that sounds somewhat familiar. Where do you suppose Solomon get that idea from? Well, he got it from the 10 commandments.
The FIFTH of those 10 commandments said this: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12) And Ephesians tells us this commandment was the ONLY one with a promise: honor your parents – your days will be long.
But notice here - Solomon added a little bit to that commandment. He said: If you keep MY commandments you’ll have a long and peaceful life. But that’s not what the 5th commandment said. The 5th commandment did NOT say that God necessarily required us to do everything our parents command of us. It simply said honor them… why??? Because sometimes fathers/mothers have some really bad ideas. They behave badly; they talk badly; they do some bad stuff.
Ephesians 6:1 explains “Children, obey your parents IN THE LORD, for this is right.” In other words a child must OBEY his parents… but, if a parent commanded his child do something morally wrong those things don’t fall under HONORING a parent.
But, here we have Solomon telling his son to keep HIS commandments. And if the boy did that he’d live a long, successful and peaceful life. How could Solomon say that?
Well, all of Solomon commandments in Proverbs point to God And the core of everything he wrote in proverbs was this: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8
In other words: Obey my commandments because they are “in the Lord.” My commands (he’s saying) are focusing ON the Lord. They are intended to help you TRUST the Lord; ACKNOWLEDGE the Lord; FEAR the Lord.
Solomon was actually trying to honor what God commanded in Deuteronomy 6:6-12 - “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Now, what does that mean? It means that God’s commandments should be so much a part of your life that your kids/ grandkids/ nephews & nieces… even the kids on your block can’t even look at you without seeing God’s presence. When you walk and when you talk; when you lie down and when get up. They should see it in your hands, in your eyes and all over your house.
God should be so much a part of your life… they can’t get away from it. And you should DO all this… because YOU want THEM to live long, successful and peace filled lives.
(PAUSE)
But, is that taking this too seriously? Shouldn’t we be a little more restrained in showing our faith. Wouldn’t our kids think we’re crazy if we make God the center piece of our lives?
Someone once put it this way: “Everyone thinks I’m crazy. They say ‘You take this Jesus thing too seriously.’ Well, I don’t know. Christ took me pretty seriously when He died for me on the cross.
Now, don’t fake it… because kids can tell when you’re faking it. But if we want our kids/ grandkids/ nephews & nieces/ and the kids on block to live long, successful, and peace filled lives, we need to take this seriously.
If we don’t… they won’t.
Now if you’re NOT a Parent/ Grandparent/ an Uncle or Aunt-why should you care? I mean.. it’s not YOUR kids so why should you care?
You should care because you might be the only voice for Christ those kids hear. OR, you might be the extra influence that they need in their lives to make the right choices.
I don’t want to lay a guilt trip on you… but think about this. Is there a child – that’s not related to you – that you’re involved with? A child in your neighborhood that you’ve invited to church/JAM? A child who – if they told you about something they’re struggling with - that you pray with. A child that you’d read a book with, help fix their bike, or teach to cook. Is there a child you’re trying to influence for Jesus??
If not… you’re missing out. You may be the one who can change their lives forever. You may be the only who can give them hope for the future. My point is… this is for all of us - for those who have children in our families we can witness to… and for those of who DON’T have children of their own. We all have the potential of giving hope to children.
So… what are we shooting for here? What are we trying to accomplish? Well, it’s all about behavior modification. Sometimes behavior modification is all about applying the board of education to the seat of learning.
Solomon wrote: “My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:11-12
For example I have spanked my grandson a couple of times. I have permission from his parents to do that, but I do it because I love him/ delight in him. And he knows it.
Now, when I’m dealing with other parents’ children… I can’t spank them. I may want to, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t turn out real well. Still - I can discipline them.
ILLUS: I drive the bus to pick kids up and take them home for JAM, and many of these kids aren’t from Christians homes. Sometimes they’ll say a curse word… or take the Lord’s name in vain. When that happens, I’ll pull off the road, and I’ll explain that this is God’s bus, and it’s not appropriate to talk like that. They get sheepish and (for awhile) that language will stop.
What am doing there? I’m doing some behavior modification. And I do it in such a way that they know I love them, and that I delight in having them there. I love being with those kids - I’m convinced I can reach some of them for Jesus. And the more I can be with them… the more I can change their attitudes and their actions.
That’s what you should be shooting for. Whether the child is your own… or a neighbor kid… you & I should aim to help them change their attitudes/ behavior. And if they know that we love them/ delight in them we earn the right (in their eyes) to ask them to change. Yelling at them won’t do it. Punishments won’t do it (at least for the most part) but loving them will.
But, here’s the deal. If all we accomplish is getting a child to change their attitude or behavior, then we will have failed.
Solomon WISELY told his son: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8
In other words, our main goal should be to get that child to love God. To bring them to Jesus.
ILLUS: Now, I do that with Benjamin (my grandson). I tell him a bedtime stories from Scripture. For about 4 months all he wanted to hear was the story of David and Goliath. So I talked about the faith and bravery of David – then I’d pray with him and ask God to make him as brave and trusting of God as David was.
Now, Benjamin has switched to wanting the story about "the King". So I tell him: “There was once a very selfish and self-centered king named Nebuchadnezzar, who wanted everyone to worship him. So the king had a HUGE statue built of himself and coated it with gold so that it shone in the sun. The king commanded everyone to gather and, when the music was played, they should bow down in worship. Well, amongst the crowd were three very godly men named Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They knew their God had commanded that they should bow to no one except their God. So when the music was played, everyone bowed… except Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. When the king found out he was furious, and he had the 3 young men brought to his throne. He sternly explained that if they didn’t bow in worship when the music was played they would thrown into a fiery furnace that was heated up 7 times hotter than normal. And then (the king asked) what god would protect you? The 3 boys were very polite, but they replied “Our God is able to protect us… but even if He doesn’t, we STILL won’t bow down to your idol.” The music was played and everyone bowed down except Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The king was so angry he commanded his soldiers to bind the boys in ropes (I grab Benjamin and pretend to tie him up) and the soldiers carry Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to furnace and cast them in… but because the furnace is so hot, the soldiers die from the heat. And the king… smiled. He had shown that he was in charge and that his subjects had to obey his commands. He sat back in his throne, satisfied that he had proved his point. But then… he looked inside the furnace and came up out of his throne. “How many men did we throw into the furnace?” “Three, O King.” “Then why do I see 4 men walking around inside… and one of them is like the Son of God?” “Shadrach! Meshach! Abednego! Come out of the furnace” cried the king. And the boys all came out – their ropes were burned away and their clothing didn’t even smell of smoke. And king declared “No other God is this powerful.”
Then I pray with Benjamin asking that God will help him to grow up to only worship God and to be a brave man of God.
The point is: whether it’s your child, or someone else’s, our goal should ALWAYS be to challenge them to belong to God. To love Jesus and be His child. But they’ll only do that, if they sense that we love them and care about them, and delight in them.
CLOSE: A man named Clark Cothern told of a lock-in they’d had at church. “Early in the evening one of the other leaders named Gavin challenged me to a game of table tennis. Our game quickly grew into a heated competition, as a small crowd gathered to watch us battle it out. “With the score tied and only 3 points to go before end of the game Tracy, a {14-year-old} eighth-grader, grabbed the ball and tried to play keep-away. My first impulse was irritation. But then a Scripture our group had read that afternoon came into my mind: “Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.
I politely asked Tracy to return the ball, and then Gavin and I joked with her until she finally tossed the ball back onto the table. We thanked her and finished the game. Hours later, after an evangelistic film, we were surprised to see Tracy walking down the aisle with a group of six others to accept Jesus. Later that night, when we gathered for testimonies, Tracy told her story: ‘I grew up in a family where nobody goes to church. I’ve learned to get attention
by making people mad at me. But earlier this evening I saw something different. When I stole the ball from those guys,’ she said, pointing to us, ‘they didn’t get mad at me. They didn’t fight back. I saw something different in those guys, and I decided right then that I wanted whatever it was they have.’”
INVITATION
