Dr. Stephen L. Anderson, a professor in Ontario, Canada, had what he called a moment of “startling clarity” a little over 10 years ago. He was teaching a section on ethics in his senior philosophy class, and he needed an “attention-getter”—something to shock his students and force them to take an ethical stand. He hoped that this would form a “baseline” from which they could evaluate other ethical decisions.
So he decided to open by simply displaying, without comment, the photo of Bibi Aisha. Aisha was the Afghani teenager who was forced into an abusive marriage with a Taliban fighter. He abused her and kept her with his animals. When she attempted to flee, her family caught her, hacked off her nose and ears, and left her for dead in the mountains… Dr. Anderson felt quite sure that his students, seeing the suffering of this poor girl of their own age, would have a clear ethical reaction…
As you can see, the picture is horrific. Aisha's beautiful eyes stare hauntingly back at you above the mangled hole that was once her nose. Some of Dr. Anderson’s students kept their eyes down to avoid looking at it. He could see that they were experiencing deep emotions.
But he was not prepared for their reaction. He had expected strong aversion, but that's not what he got. Instead, his students became confused. They seemed not to know what to think. They spoke timidly, afraid to make any moral judgment at all. They were unwilling to criticize any situation originating in a different culture. They said, “Well, we might not like it, but maybe over there it's okay.” Another said, “It's just wrong to judge other cultures.”
Dr. Anderson wondered, "How can kids who have been so thoroughly basted in the language of minority rights be so numb to a clear moral offense?” …. No matter how he prodded they did not leave their nonjudgmental position. Dr. Anderson left that class shaking his head. His students had been thoroughly brainwashed to accept all things at all costs, a concept called “moral relativism.” For them, the overriding message is “never judge, never criticize, never take a position” (Dr. Stephen L. Anderson, "Moments of Startling Clarity," Education Forum, Fall 2011; www.PreachingToday.com).
After more than a half a century of brainwashing through our public schools, the entertainment industry, and liberal politics, our culture has swallowed this lie of moral relativism hook, line, and sinker. They love to quote the Bible out of context, where it says, “Judge not that you be not judged” (Matthew 7:1). So anything goes today: killing babies in the womb; homosexual behavior; and even pedophiles, who some now describe as “minor attracted people,” because “it’s less stigmatizing” (Jessica Nolte, “ODU assistant professor who resigned amid backlash from pedophilia research has a new job at Johns Hopkins,” The Virginian-Pilot, 5-15-2022).
“Judge not” has become the mantra of our morally relativistic culture, so much so that it has infiltrated the church. When a preacher dares to call sin “sin,” church people often say, “Who are we to judge?”
In one of my previous churches, the elders and I had to ask a man to step down from leadership, because he was abusing his wife. Later, we also had to ask a woman to resign her position as an officer in the church, because she was sleeping with a man she was not married to. In each case, people said, “Who are we to judge,” and some left the church. Today, I’m glad to report that the woman later repented of her sin and was welcomed back into the fellowship of the church, which she now serves as the head of their care ministry.
Restoration is possible, but only if the church sets aside the moral relativism that has invaded our culture and dares to address sin among its members appropriately.
Ken Sande is the founder and director of Peacemaker Ministries, which works with scores of churches in trouble every year. He says, “Unfortunately most churches don't employ formal discipline until offenses are so terrible, relationships so shattered, and patterns so ingrained, that the chances of restoring someone are very small” (Ken Sande, Peacemaker Ministries, Leadership Journal; www.PreachingToday.com).
So what can the church do to deal with sin in such a way that really helps people and restores relationships? What can the church do when one of its members chooses to live in open rebellion against God? What can the church do save that member from utter and complete spiritual ruin and to save itself from irreparable damage? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to 1 Corinthians 5, 1 Corinthians 5, where God’s Word tells us what to do.
1 Corinthians 5:1-2 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you (ESV).
When a believer chooses to live in open rebellion, when a believer chooses to live in sin, the first thing you do is…
CRY.
Mourn for the loss of your friend. Weep and wail as if a brother or sister just died.
You see, the man in this first century Corinthian church was sleeping with his stepmother, “his father’s wife.” And the people in this church were arrogant. Literally, they were puffed up. They had an inflated sense of their own importance. Perhaps they were proud of their tolerance. “After all we’re a grace-filled church, and we love everybody!” Well let me tell you. They did not love this man. They were not concerned about his spiritual condition. On the contrary, they were only self-concerned. They were afraid to rock the boat. So they just ignored the man’s sin and let it go.
Derrick Lewis, of LaGrange, Georgia, and his friend, Mike, went fishing on a lake one afternoon. They spent several hours in a little boat with an outboard motor and ended up catching nothing. It was getting dark, so they decided to head back to shore. But after about a half an hour, the outboard motor sputtered, then died. They were almost out of gas. There was a little at the bottom of the tank, but it was too low to reach the fuel line.
Then they came up with an idea. Derrick stood in the middle of the boat, with one foot against both sides, and he began to rock back and forth. That way, they were able to get enough gas to slosh in the line to get the motor started. Once started, Derrick kept rocking the boat, and with the engine running slowly, they made it back safe and sound (Derrick Lewis, LaGrange, Georgia, www.PreachingToday.com).
The point is, when somebody is in trouble, sometimes you have to rock the boat! If you really love them, sometimes you have to make waves. If not, you just let them drown. You don’t get involved.
You see, the opposite of love is NOT hate. It’s indifference. It’s an indifference born out of pride and self-interest. Corinthian pride here had not only produced disunity in the church, as we saw in the first 4 chapters, it also produced indifference. They were indifferent to the very real spiritual needs of their own members.
It’s like having an elephant in your living room that nobody wants to talk about. You’re concerned about appearances. You’re too proud, so you ignore the problem, hoping it will go away. But you know what happens. It only gets worse! The elephant begins to step on things, and he makes messes—big messes! Pretty soon it stinks, and the whole house is ruined.
So it is when sin goes unaddressed in the church. So don’t ignore it. Instead, address it with a deep sense of sorrow. Mourn, verse 2 says. It’s the same word used for mourning over the dead. When a brother is caught in sin, it should fill you with the deepest and most painful kind of personal sorrow, the kind that you feel at the funeral of someone you love.
Professor Robert Wicks tells the story of how an entire community helped bring healing to one of his African students.
When the student was ten years old, he got trapped in a burning hut that he had accidentally set on fire. The fire had started at the only entrance to the hut, and the flames were too much for him to go through. He felt this was his end and let out a wild scream. Fortunately for him, his father braved the inferno and got him out. He had lost consciousness due to the heat, smoke, and possibly fear.
When he finally regained consciousness, he was lying in a room surrounded by the women of his village, who were nursing his burns and offering him food. He could also hear the voices of the men outside and knew that the whole village had come to the support of him and his family.
Two weeks later, the village elders came to his home to perform a ritual partially intended to prevent similar accidents, but also to help him deal normally with fire.
To accomplish this, they built a model hut in the open field and instructed him to go in the hut and set it on fire in the same way as in the accident. They had him reenact the accident three times, and each time one of the villagers would rush in to rescue him. In addition, they had him tell his story again and again to village members who came to see him and his family.
From this he learned as a child that the tragedy of one individual or one family is a tragedy for the whole community… (Robert J. Wicks, Streams of Contentment, Sorin Books, 2011, pp. 60-62; www.PreachingToday.com).
When one of us hurts, we all hurt. So if someone is experiencing the consequences of their own sin, the first thing you do is cry. Weep and mourn like you do at a funeral, for that’s what love does. First cry. Then…
JUDGE.
Don’t condone the sin; condemn it. Don’t tolerate the rebellion; turn the rebel over to Satan.
I know this sounds harsh, but if you truly love your wayward brothers and sisters in Christ, you do it for their sake. You do it in the hopes that they will see the error of their ways and come back to the Lord. You do it in the hopes of restoration and the salvation of their spirits when Christ comes again to judge His own. You do it, because that’s what God tells us to do in His Word.
1 Corinthians 5:3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing (ESV)—literally, the one who works diligently at this.
This is not talking about somebody who slips up every once in a while, and then repents. This is talking about somebody who works diligently at sinning and refuses to repent, even after repeated warnings.
1 Corinthians 5:4-5 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord (ESV).
Stop protecting this man from the consequences of his sin. Stop enabling him in his sin, and force him to face the consequences of his sin without covering up for him anymore. That’s what it means when it says, “Deliver this man to Satan.” If he chooses to follow Satan, then let Satan have him. Jesus said of Satan, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). So let Satan destroy his body, in order that at least his spirit can be saved on judgment day.
You see, the church is a place of safety for God’s people, providing protection from Satan himself. That’s why it’s important to be a part of a local body of believers. That’s why it’s important to be an active member of a local church. Because if you’re not, then you open yourself up to Satan’s attacks.
However, if a church member chooses to follow Satan, he or she cannot enjoy the protection of the church. The Bible says deliver such a person to Satan to save his spirit.
Some time ago, Pastor Hershael York got a letter from a woman in the first church he served. She told Pastor York that Bob had left his wife and was living with another woman. Bob was Pastor York’s closest friend in that church and chairman of deacons. Pastor York could not believe it. He called Bob’s wife Doreen and said, “Doreen, tell me what's happening.”
She said, “It's true. He's left me. We're not even divorced, but he's already living with another woman.”
Pastor York said, “Give me the number at that house.” She gave it to him. He called. The woman answered. He said, “Is Bob there?”
She said, “Yes, may I tell him who's calling?”
He said, “Yes, tell him this is his friend and former pastor, Hershael York.”
As he heard her say those words, he could hear him choking, deciding whether to take the phone, but he took it. Pastor York said, “Bob, what are you doing? What are you thinking?”
Bob said, “I just got tired of being the only one making an effort. What do you do when you give and you give, and you get nothing in return? What do you do when you try to express love, and she won't? What do you do when you give everything you've got, and she never even says thank you?”
Pastor York said, “Here's what you do. You make a cold, hard, rational decision to obey God anyway. Now, you listen to me. I want you to pack your things right now. I want you to go home to your wife. I want the two of you to drive all the way up here to Lexington, Kentucky, and I want you to spend a weekend with me and Tonya, and we're going to help you.”
God had given Pastor York the boldness to confront Bob. He did exactly what his former pastor told him to do. He went home and got his wife. They came up to Pastor York’s house where he and his wife ministered to Bob and his wife from the Word. Before they left, they said, “We're going to try to make a go of it.”
Three weeks later they came back to Lexington with their two children. They said to Pastor York, “We want you to marry us again. We want to repeat our vows, and we want to start afresh.”
Pastor York had asked Bob’s wife, “Doreen, how is it going?” She said, “If anyone had ever told me marriage and life could be this good, I would never have believed it” (Hershael York, associate professor of Christian preaching at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, Speaking with Bold Assurance, Broadman & Holman, 2001; www.PreachingToday.com)
If you find a believer in sin, confront him or her. Love them that much! Don’t let them go and think you’ve done them a favor. No! Do what Jesus did. He found us in our sin, and He loved us. But He loved us too much to leave us there.
When a believer chooses to live in sin, first cry Then judge—condemn his or her sin—praying for repentance. But if there is no repentance, then…
PURGE.
Expel the unrepentant sinner from the church. Cast such people out of the fellowship.
Do if for the church’s sake, not just for the unrepentant sinner’s sake.
1 Corinthians 5:6-8 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth (ESV).
When we condone sin in the church, it spoils the whole church. When we allow one member to live in sin without consequence, then others get the idea that they can sin and get away with it too. The picture here is of a little bit of yeast mixed in with a whole batch of dough. What happens? Eventually it permeates the whole batch. So it is when we allow sin to go unchecked in the church. Soon it permeates the whole church.
During the Old Testament Festival of Unleavened Bread, the yeast was literally swept out of the house (Ex. 12:15-20; 13:1-10). That’s what is supposed to happen when the church celebrates its Festival—i.e., the Lord’s Supper, or communion. The church must sweep out those who choose to live in rebellion. Then we can celebrate the Lord’s death with sincerity and truth, i.e., purely and genuinely.
For the church that minimizes sin minimizes the cross. But the church that condemns sin in its midst genuinely celebrates Christ’s deliverance from sin on the cross. So expel the believer, who chooses to live in rebellion, not only for his or her sake, but for the church’s sake as well.
Charles Edward White, in the Christian History journal, describes the growth of the Methodist church. He says, “When the Methodist movement began to grow, John Wesley faced the problem of dealing with converts who returned to their old ways. Many Methodists came from the lowest social classes, so nothing in their background or environment helped them live the ‘sober, quiet, godly lives’ Wesley prescribed. Their backsliding discouraged those who were trying to follow Christ and gave Methodism [a bad name].
“The solution to this problem came in a way no one expected. The Methodists had contracted a debt to build a preaching house. In an effort to pay off the debt, the leaders volunteered to visit each Methodist each week and collect a penny.
“When they found that it was easier if the people came to the leader, the Methodist class-meeting was born. The people still paid the penny, but the meetings quickly became more pastoral than financial. Leaders used the meetings to instruct members and check up on their spiritual progress.
“When Wesley saw how effective this practice was, he was convinced that the work of God could not prosper without church discipline. With church discipline, however, Methodism did prosper, reaching almost a million people before Wesley's death.
“In fact, his journal gives the impression that he spent as much time throwing people out of Methodist societies as he did persuading them to come in.
“During one early visit to Bristol, he purged almost 20 percent of the society for sins including drunkenness, dishonest business practices, gossip, theft, arguing in public, and cheating on taxes (Charles Edward White, "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Church," Christian History, Issue 69; www.PreachingToday.com).
History shows that churches grow when they expect more from their members. It’s to our benefit to check up on each other’s spiritual progress. And when a member chooses to live in sin, we must act. Urge him or her to repent, and if he or she refuses, put them out of the fellowship.
Now, do it just for believers who choose to live in sin, not for unbelievers.
1 Corinthians 5:9-10 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world (ESV).
Christians are not to be isolated from the world, just insulated from its influence.
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one (ESV).
I.e., do not eat the Lord’s Supper with such a one.
1 Corinthians 5:12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? (ESV)
YES! Refrain from judging those outside the church, but judge those inside the church. Evaluate their behavior and condemn those who choose to live in sin.
1 Corinthians 5:13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you” (ESV).
Can the Bible get any clearer? Throw the evil one out!
What can the church do to deal with sin in such a way that really helps people and restores relationships? Well, first you cry, because you care. Then you judge, urging the believing sinner to repent. And if he or she refuses, you purge them from the church. It sounds harsh, but it truly is the most loving thing you can do.
You might not expect an ad in Craigslist to gain much attention, much less make the national news, but that's what happened to Allan Gieger in Florida a few years ago (2016). He is a father that readers dubbed “Father of the Year.” This is what he wrote for the ad, selling his son’s 1998 Ford Explorer:
“I have my son’s truck up for sale that I bought for him as his first car. He thinks it's cool to drive around with his friends smokin’ dope and acting all thug and especially not showing me and my wife the respect that we deserve.
“This was a vehicle to finish school in, get a decent job and get a head start on life but chose to throw it all away because his friends would rather have an influence on him more than me! Now he can put those Jordans to use [and] walk his ass off on these hot summer days!”
In an interview with Esquire magazine, Allan Gieger said, “Just the way I was raised by my father, teaching me how to live right, let them know when you're upset, but be there for them when they're trying to do better. It's worked 18 years now with him, and it's worked for 38 years with me.”
Allan’s dad had disciplined Allan in a similar way when he hung around the wrong people. Allan told his dad, “If you wouldn't have done what you did, I don't know where I'd be, in prison or dead.”
In response, his dad asked said, “The real question you have to ask yourself is where are the friends you were hanging around today?”
Allen replied, “Three of them are dead from drug overdoses, a few are in jail, and some of them straightened up and did good. But I'm thankful that I wasn't one of the ones who ended up dead or in jail because of your teachings.”
Now, Allen’s son has grown to appreciate his father’s discipline. When Allen asked his son if he wanted him to take the ad down, his son said, “No… I want to inspire people the way you're inspiring parents.”
Allen said, “I always told my son from day one, ‘I will always stand up for you when you're right. But when you're wrong, I will be the first one there in your face to tell you to make it right” (Luke O’Neil, “Life Advice from the Dad Who Sold His Pot-Smoking Son's SUV on Craiglist,” Esquire, 6-6-16; www. PreachingToday.com).
We applaud parents who provide loving discipline in their own families, because we know families and children thrive under such discipline. In the same way, when the church provides loving discipline the family of God and its members also thrive.
