• He said, "I bet you I can!” He tilted his head back and placed the raw oyster on his tongue and let it slide down. He said, “Now give me the five dollars.” She did!
• This lady was DETERMINED that she was going to get her money back plus more. She said, "I'll bet you ten dollars you cannot keep it down for five minutes." He said, "I will take that bet also."
• After about a minute, with a puzzled look on her face, she said, "That's really amazing, I do not see how you do it. I swallowed that same oyster three times and it would not stay down.”
When she said that, up came that oyster. That woman was determined to win her bet, and she did.
Nothing that is really worth while can be acquired without some exercise of DETERMINATION, and many things require a great deal of DETERMINATION.
Let’s talk about determination…it takes determination for a…
I. MARRIAGE TO SURVIVE
A good marriage requires a great deal of determination.
Illus: Solomon who was married to 700 wives and 300 concubines probably knew more about marriage than the average man.
He said in Proverbs 18:2 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing...”
Now while perhaps some of you ladies may not want to be called a “thing”, the message is still clear. God’s Word says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing…”
Illus: A man was asked why he called his wife, “Sweet thing.”
• He said, "It is because when she pleases me I call her "Sweet Thing".
• But when she does not please me I just call her “Thing.”
The greatest thing a man can find in his life next to salvation is a godly wife.
Contrary to what some believe, God's Word lets us know that Peter was not only a GODLY man, he was a MARRIED man.
How do we know he was married?
Look at Matthew 8:14. We read, “And when Jesus was come into Peter's house, he saw his wife's mother laid, and sick of a fever.”
You can not have a mother-in-law unless you are married. And who would want a mother-in-law if they aren’t married.
The Bible tells us he was married, but even if the Bible did not tell us he was married, as you read his writings you would know he was a married man.
Peter knew some things about marriage that a lot of married men today do not seem to know.
Notice how he tells a husband he is to treat his wife.
Look at 1 Peter 3:7. We read, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.”
Notice these words, “…dwell with them according to knowledge…”
Peter instructs the husbands to dwell with their wives with a certain acquired knowledge.
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY PETER SPEAKS TO MEN ABOUT KNOWLEDGE?
Because Peter knew that some men do not have enough sense to have a wife. Some men treat their dog better than they treat their wife.
Illus: Some husbands remind us of the little girl that was showing her friend their new house.
• She showed her the den, and the little girl said, “Why do you call it a den?”
• She said, “I reckon because my father sits in his rocking chair and growls at my mother all the time.”
The reason some women are leaving their husbands today, is because of the physical and verbal abuse they are constantly having to endure.
But when a man treats his wife with common decency and respect, you couldn’t run her off.
Divorce courts across this land are booked to overflowing capacity, and many of the cases involve husbands who have not acquired sufficient knowledge of how to hold a marriage together.
What is this acquired knowledge? It is:
I. KNOWLEDGE OF A POSITION
The husband has a vital position in the home.
No! God placed him in the home because he has a position to fill.
(1) He is a DWELLER (Not a forsaker)
Notice the foundation of this knowledge.
Peter says, “... dwell with them…. ”
Today the attitude seems to be, try it and if you do not like it, leave!
A young couple should never enter a marriage until they are willing to say, “We are going to get married and we are determined we are going to stay married!”
When any couple gets married, they need to realize that the marriage license they are signing is a life time contract!
This is not one of those contracts that you have a choice to renew every 3 or 4 years. IT IS FOR A LIFE TIME, AND IT IS FOR BETTER OR WORSE!
Peter tells us the position of a husband is a "dweller" with his own wife. That is, he has stability in his life and he dwells with her.
He is not only a “Dweller”, but also-
(2) He is a PROVIDER
1 Timothy 5:5, we read, “But if any provide not for his is own and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
Illus: A young fellow wanted to be a star journalist but lived in a small town (not much possibility). One day the dam upstream broke and the town was flooded. He got in a rowboat and headed out to look for a story. Found a lady sitting on her rooftop. He tied up the boat and told her what he was after. (They both watched as various items floated by).
Finally a hat floats by in the front yard and then does a 180 degree turn, goes upstream a ways and does another 180 degree turn, etc.
The fellow says, "There's a story."
"Oh no, that's not a story. That's my husband Hayford. He said that he was going to mow the lawn come hell or high water!"
A good husband works hard and provides for his family.
God tells us if a husband does not work and provide for his family he is WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL!
Now that is some strong language…WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL!!!
This man has acquired knowledge and he knows that someone has got to take care of his children. They cannot raise themselves.
He recognizes that since God has called him to be the provider of the home, his wife can do her job of being the nurturer of the home.
One of the great tragedies of this nation today is that the American families are so lustful for material things.
Illus: They want everything their neighbors have, they buy everything they can afford and not afford, and soon Dad and Mom both have to work and there is no one at home to instill Christian values in the children.
It should not surprise us today that we are producing the kind of children that have turned the public schools in miniature war zones.
A good husband will not allow his desire for material things to destroy the godly desires he has for his children.
He is a DWELLER and a PROVIDER But also-
(3) He is the DISCIPLINARIAN
1 Timothy 3:8 “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection, with all gravity….”
Notice, his job is not to rule every house in the neighborhood, but his job is to rule “his own house.”
Notice, God gives the discipline to the Father.
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
Women and men are different. Women will allow children to get by with things many times, a lot more than dad will allow.
Another tragedy in this nation that we are facing in our homes is the lack of discipline.
There was a time, when a child did something wrong at school, the school would punish him, and then when the child got home dad punished him. Now a child can do something wrong at school, and when some of these parents are notified of what their child has done, they rush down to the schoolhouse to defend these little brats.
A good father, dwells with his family and when he sees selfishness, hard headedness, and evil in a child’s life, he does not:
• Defend her/him
• Ignore the offense
He deals with it, because he loves his family. He does not defend his child when his child is wrong! He is the disciplinarian.
The husband is to love his wife.
Look at Ephesians 5:25. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”
Christ loved the church so much that he died for the church.
God says the husband is a man with KNOWLEDGE OF A POSITION. But also he has-
II. KNOWLEDGE OF A PERSON
Look at 1 Peter 3:7 again. The husband is to, “... dwell with her according to knowledge, giving HONOUR unto the wife...”
Some men treat their wives as if they had no feelings.
Illus: Before they married them, they treated them as if they were angels and they talked sweet talk to them.
You men remember how it was when you dated her?
You had a checklist you had to work your way through:
(1) Before the date came the 30 minute hot shower using a complete bar of lifeboy soap.
(2) Every little whisker was removed because the last thing he wanted to do was to press his cheek to her soft cheek and to hear her say, "Ouch, your whiskers hurt!”
(3) Before the date, lots of Listerine was used because he wanted his breath to be kissing sweet.
(4) Then came the wardrobe. Everything had to be color coordinated and everything had to be exactly what she liked.
(5) Then came the hair. It had to be just right before he would ever leave to go to her house.
(6) Then he arrived at her house early, excited just to catch that first glimpse of her.
But she knew that the longer she made him wait, the more he would appreciate her when he saw her.
After about forty-five minutes of waiting, she came down in her best dress and smelling like a rose bud.
She apologized for her intentional delay, and you told a giant size lie and said, “That's okay, I enjoyed sitting here talking to your mother.”
Then they went outside and he said, "Darling, Sweetie Pie, where would you like to go?"
She said, "I thought we might go play some Putt, Putt!" He said, "Putt, Putt! I was hoping we might go to paradise landing and watch the moon for a little while!"
He saw he made her sad so he quickly continued, "But sweetie if you want to play, Putt, Putt, let's go!”
Now this same guy marry this girl and six months after marriage:
• If she is five minutes late, he is hollering, "What is the matter with you! Do you have lead in your shoes!"
• She can express what she would like to do, and he will say, "Woman are you crazy? I don’t know why I married such a dumb woman."
His wife can figure out why she married him! It was because she was fooled by his deceptive ways of winning her love!
It is strange how some men feel that the girl they are dating is everything, but after they marry them, she is no longer important.
He treats her like she has no feelings!!!
Illus: This reminds me of the fellow who was with his wife in their car. He swung into the dentist's office.
They jumped out of the car and ran to the dentist's office.
• The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I'm in a terrible hurry I have to be at the golf course in fifteen minutes. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.''
• The dentist said, "You certainly are brave, Now, show me which tooth it is.”
• He turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth and show him, woman, I don’t have all day!”
Peter said that husbands are to, “...dwell with them (our wives) according to knowledge.”
That knowledge includes KNOWLEDGE OF OUR POSITION, KNOWLEDGE OF A PERSON, and also -
III. KNOWLEDGE OF PRAYER
Look at Verse 7. We read, “...That your Prayers be not hindered.”
Now a man can make a woman's life miserable, (and many do).
He is stronger, and many women live in fear that if they do not do certain things, they will get:
• A beating that will leave them black and blue
• A tongue lashing that is just as bad
Many of these men, while they control their homes by brute strength, quote the verse, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands...”
But if these fellows would read Verse 7, it also says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge...”
God's Word in no shape, form, or fashion, teaches that a man should ever hit a woman, never!
Any woman that lives with a man that wants to beat on her, should go to the local sporting good's store and buy the biggest bat she can find, and wave it in his face and say, “Don’t ever lay a hand on me again! You have to go to sleep sometime, and when you do, I will catch you one night when you are a sleep, and I will make your head look like a bag full of marbles.”
Illus: Reminds me of the singer Sammy Davis, jr. He would come home sometime drunk and abuse his wife verbally and physically. One night he came home drunk and when he went to sleep his wife sewed him between two sheets. She than took a broome and almost beat him to death. That broke him from the abuse because he knew that when he went to sleep he was at her mercy.
A man that will beat on a woman doesn't have good sense! Ruling over a wife with a rod of iron will not win true submission.
Love and submission are won by caring, and doing what is best for her.
Paul says it this way in Ephesians 5:33, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Paul is saying that when we love our wife in the same way we love ourselves, then the wife will “reverence her husband.”
Respect has to be earned!!! And the Bible tells us when the husband loves his wife the way he loves himself she will REVERENCE HIM!!!
But notice husbands, Paul says that we cannot take the wife God gave us and mistreat her, knowing that she is no match for our strength, and then kneel in prayer and expect God to hear and answer our prayer.
That not only has to do with a husband and wife relationship, that also has to do with any relationships.
That is, you can find people who profess to be saved and they are mean as a snake that has been stepped on and they can get on their knees and pray but God will not hear their prayers.
A lot of husbands are wasting their time when they pray. Their prayers will be hindered until they get things right with their wives.
GOD SAYS IF THINGS ARE WRONG BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR WIFE, THEN THINGS ARE WRONG BETWEEN YOU AND HIM.
Listen husbands, you are no closer to God than you are to your wife.
Conclusion:
When a man is right with God and right with his wife, it is the greatest relationship on this earth.
Illus: A young girl called her Christian dad up one day and said, “I have to talk to you about something.” The dad was really concerned because he could tell by her voice that whatever it was, it was important.
• The appointment time came, and he said, "Honey, is something wrong? I have been concerned ever since you called."
• She said, "Dad, what I have to talk to you about is this: Why didn't you tell me that marriage is so wonderful?"
Marriage is wonderful if the husband and wife meet Bible requirements.
God’s Word said, in Proverbs 18:2, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing...”
I hope every Christian husband has already discovered that. If not, I trust that you will!
One of the easiest thing for a man or a woman to do is stand at the sacred altar before a church full of family and friends and say I DO in their marriage vows.
Yes, Peter is a married man, we know that from the scriptures and he knew something about how a woman is to be treated.
A husband is a man that has:
I. KNOWLEDGE OF A POSITION
II. KNOWLEDGE OF A PERSON
III. KNOWLEDGE OF PRAYER
