Illus: There is a small country church in Columbia, South Carolina that has around twenty in attendance. If you visit that church you will discover two things immediately.
(1) You had better not say anything about anyone because everyone is related.
(2) If you are not a member of this family, you are an outsider and you are not welcome.
They will not come and tell you that you are not welcome, but they make you feel unwelcome in other ways.
This church has been around for many years and has never grown because they have no desire to reach the lost for Christ.
Listen, God does not need churches like this. In Proverbs 18, we saw in three different kinds of men that the church does not need:
I. THE ANTI-SOCIAL MAN
II. THE SELF-CONFIDENT MAN
III. THE CONTENTIOUS MAN
But there are several more that God’s church does not need because they are more HURTFUL than they are HELPFUL to the Kingdom of God! WHO ARE THEY?
They are the -
IV. THE JUDGMENTAL MAN
Look at verse 13, we read, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
He is the JUDGE and the JURY in all situations.
Illus: Many of us have served on a jury before and the Judge cautioned us to listen to all the evidence very closely before rendering a verdict. Why? Because the only way we can render a just verdict is to know all the facts.
Some have the ability it seems to create the evidence.
Illus: A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday evening. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt!
After they crawl out of their cars:
• The woman says, "So....you're a man.”
• The man says, “So…you’re a woman.”
• Woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
• Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
• The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune!" Then she hands the bottle to the man.
• The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
• The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
• The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
• The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait ! for the police...."
Of course, when they went to court, the EVIDENCE was overwhelming against him and he lost the case for being a drunk driver.
Many of us have served on jury duty and we have heard the judge say, “DO NOT REACH A VERDICT UNTIL YOU HAVE HEARD ALL THE EVIDENCE.”
But notice, the Book of Proverbs says, in verse 13, there is a man that “…answereth a matter before he heareth it.” But also notice the same verse says this is FOOLISHNESS.
No matter what you talk about, some people will give you an answer BECAUSE IN THEIR ARROGANCE, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING AND KNOW HOW EVERYTHING IS TO BE DONE. They believe they have all the answers. They can tell you exactly what needs to be done in all situations!
Illus: These people remind me of A TEACHER'S INTERVIEW. After being interviewed by the school administration, he told this young teacher how everything was to be done because he knew it all.
The eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right . . .
• You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning, and I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior,
• Observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
• You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.
• You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.
• I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.
• Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.
• I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!
• I am to do all this and you expect me NOT TO PRAY IN CLASS ????"
The JUDGEMENTAL MAN expects a lot from others but very little from himself. He makes improper judgments. God’s Word says he is FOOLISH!
We have looked at THE JUDGMENTAL MAN.
But we need to also look at the -
V. THE SELFISH MAN
Look at verse 17, we read, “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just…”
There are a lot of things in life that can rob you of your joy, but nothing robs us of our joy like selfishness.
Illus: The selfish man operates on the toddler law, that is:
• If I like it, it's mine.
• If it's in my hand, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it's mine.
• If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
• If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
• If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
• If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
• If I think it's mine, it's mine.
• If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine.
The most miserable people on earth are those with the attitude of, “My way or the highway!”
Illus: A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake; I can wait.” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!” (Source unknown)
The selfish man is not someone the church needs.
We have looked at five different kinds of men that Proverbs 18 reveals we do not need in the church.
We have looked at MEN the church doesn’t need. Now let’s look at one kind of man that the church desperately needs.
VI. THE FRIENDLY MAN
This is the man every church needs. Look at verse 24, we read, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
Friendship is a wonderful thing. In life:
• We have no choice about who will be our parents
• We have no choice about who will be our siblings
When it comes to friends we have a choice. That is what makes friendship so special.
Illus: H.K. Downie tells about a large newspaper that offered a substantial amount of cash for the best answer to the question, “What is the shortest way to London?” The entry that won the prize read: “The shortest way to London is good company!”
We all need good company in life; good friends as we walk along life’s highway. The thing that will make the trip better, more enjoyable, easier, and shorter is to have some good friends.
When a church full of God's people comes together, the friendship in a church can be overwhelming.
Illus: Someone said,
"I went out to find a friend,
But could not find one there;
I went out to be a friend,
And friends were everywhere!"
It’s been said that when people visit a church for the first tim, they will decide whether they will come back or not in the first 7 to 12 minutes. This is why a friendly greeting and friendly greeters are so important!
HOW CAN WE MAKE FRIENDS?
A. BY SHOWING INTEREST IN PEOPLE
Illus: Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."
We can make friends as Christians by SHOWING INTEREST IN OTHERS.
Illus: When the Moravian missionaries went to Greenland, they were unable during the first year to make any impression whatsoever. Then came an awful epidemic of smallpox in which multitudes were devastated. The missionaries went about among them ministering to their physical needs.
Then the door was opened. The people said, “You have nursed us in our sickness. You have cared for us in our distress. You have buried our dead. Now tell us of your religion.”
Love goes a long way when it comes to influencing people for Christ.
Also, we can make friends -
B. BY BECOMING A GOOD LISTENER
A good way to make enemies is by not listening to people or not paying attention to them.
Illus: An 80-year-old grandfather went to his daughter’s house for Sunday dinner. When the meal was over, he announced that he was going to take a walk through the neighborhood. "I’ll be back in twenty minutes," he said. But two hours had passed before he finally returned. "Sorry I’m late," he said. "But I stopped to talk to an old friend and he just wouldn’t stop listening."
ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHERS?
Illus: Have you ever met anyone that made you want to run and hide when you saw them coming. Was it -
(1) Because they are poor listeners
(2) Because they want to dominate the conversation talking about what they like or dislike
You can only take so much of this and you are ready to fake an emergency. (Don’t look at me like that…YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!)
Some folks have few friends.
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
The Bible says to have friends we have to SHOW OURSELVES FRIENDLY!
Conclusion:
Illus: Several years ago, a barbers' supply company held a large convention in a metropolitan city. To show the world how good their products were they organized a publicity stunt. They went to the worst section of town and brought back the dirtiest and most helpless drunk they could find. They presented him on the stage. Everyone saw how dirty and unkempt his hair and beard were.
• Then they took him out and cleaned him up.
• They shaved him.
• They shampooed and styled his hair.
• They sprayed him with cologne.
• They washed him with a new kind of soap they were trying to sell.
• They bought him a new suit, a new shirt, new tie, and shoes.
He looked great. He looked and felt like a new man. They brought him back to the stage to show him off, saying to all the world "This is what our barber supplies can do for you." The audience could hardly believe that this was the same man they had seen earlier that day. Looking at the man on stage no one would ever have guessed that he was living in the streets just a few hours before. He was completely changed.
We need to befriend the FORSAKEN and win them to Christ. Then, when Christ cleans them up, we can say to the lost world, “THIS IS WHAT THE SAVIOR CAN DO FOR YOU IF YOU WILL COME TO CHRIST!”
1 of 2
I. THE ANTI-SOCIAL MAN
II. THE SELF-CONFIDANT MAN
III. THE CONTENTIOUS MAN
2 of 2
IV. THE JUDGMENTAL MAN
V. THE SELFISH MAN
VI. THE FRIENDLY MAN
