We want to preach about children in our marriage. Children can be a blessing, or they can cause much pain. Usually the outcome is directly affected by how much the parents obey God's Word in raising them.
Illus: One lady that had three teenagers was asked, "If you had it to do all over again, would you have children again?" She said, "Yes, I would, but not the same ones."
Illus: One man said, "We spend half of our lives fighting with our parents, and the other half fighting with our children."
Although these are meant to be humorous, they border on reality for a lot of folks. We need to consider at least two things about children, for God had something very precious in mind when He designed the family to include children. We need to consider...
1. The children that are born into non-Christian homes.
We could quote all kinds of horrendous statistics, that would send cold chills up and down our spines, on children who are born into homes where no one has any inclination of why God placed them on this earth. Why? The parents lived their lives without God, and the children are carbon copies of those parents, and those homes are in a mess spiritually, and usually in every other way. For example:
-4 out of 10 children live in broken homes.
-10 million children are infected with some kind of venereal disease.
-7 out of 10 accidents with fatalities among teens, are alcohol related.
-6 out of 10 teenagers believe in astrology.
Why? Their parents have not taught them to believe in God, and they grab at anything they can to place their faith in.
-Pregnancy among teenagers is among the top problems of our nation.
-Crime among teenagers is a serious problem.
Are you surprised? Why? What can one expect when parents raise children without God? What are we doing to help get the gospel to them. Some of us have been very vocal about prayer being taken out of schools, but we are not concerned in the slightest that GOD, PRAYER, AND the BIBLE have long been gone from many of the homes across America. Children born into a Godless family are at a tremendous disadvantage. They have parents, the most powerful influence in their lives, leading them straight to a Christ-less eternity. The last thing they want to hear is what God's Word says, so they will not attend God's house to hear It. We could spend a lot of time talking about the underprivileged children born into homes like that, but let us move on, and consider...
2. The children that are born into Christian homes. You are here today, and can hear what God's Word, says to you about child rearing. You chose not to stay home because you recognize you need God in your marriage, and you need God to show you what to do as you raise your children. What does the Bible say to you who care? It has much to say to us! First, the Bible teaches us to...
I. COMMENCE EARLY. Proverb 22:5, "Train up a child in
the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Why begin teaching Bible principles early? Because the child is born with a sinful nature. You may look at that sweet, innocent child and think it does not know a thing about sin, but the fact is, sin comes as natural to that child as it does to you, if you do not let the Holy Spirit constantly check you. Soon after a child is born, the spirit of SELFISHNESS AND DECEPTION begins to raise its ugly head! When that baby is warm, dry, and full and is nearby so you can speak to it and love it, why do you suppose it still cries the way it does? Mom can have a dozen things she needs to be doing, but when that little fellow decides things are not just the way he wants them to be, he starts bellowing like he has never had any attention in his life. He is wanting someone to pick him up, and give him undivided attention. If a few light sniffles don't get the results he wants, he soon learns to bellow out as if in mortal pain. That almost always gets some attention. Why do you suppose as he grows a little older he "plays" his mom against his dad, and his dad against his mom? It doesn't take a child long to learn that if mom and dad agree, then he does not stand a chance of getting his way. A child is born into sin and the devil wastes no time. SELFISHNESS and DECEPTION come along with the package. The wise parents realize, that from the time that child is born, they must begin saturating it with God's Word, and Godly examples, and when the child displays sinful tendencies, they must be discouraged and stopped as soon as they begin. They need God's help!
The parents who do not seek God's help and follow God's directions, will find their happiness wrecked. It sounds mean to say, but many parents have raised fools. You are probably thinking, "Doesn't the Bible teach that we are not to call anyone a fool?" Yes, but we are not calling them fools. God calls them fools.
Illus: Someone said, "There is no such thing as a self-made fool, he has a tremendous amount of help from his parents."
-Psalm 14:1 says, "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God..." Notice, the fool God speaks of is not necessarily the atheist, who just says it with his lips, but the man the psalmist speaks of is the person who says it with his heart! That is, he lives as if God does not exist. He is actually fooling himself and God says such a person is a "fool”.
-Luke 12:20 - "But God said unto him. Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee..." That rich farmer thought he could live his life without God, he was fooling himself.
-Proverb 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child..." Then God instructs parents, "...but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." They need to look to God for the WAYS, METHODS, and TEACHINGS that will get "foolishness" out of the child's heart, and they need to put the right things into his heart. God did not say it would be easy!
Illus: The baby is born. Mom and dad think it is innocent and sweet. They have not been going to church, but somehow they know deep down that they should have been going, and now, for sure they think they should go, but not right now, - some day. That baby looks sweet and innocent right now. If you think that, just take a turn keeping those little fellows in the nursery!
-If you turn your back they will chew each other's ears off.
-Once one has his grubby little hands on a toy, there is no way he will share, even if it would be more fun!
-Watch how the one who does not have his hands full, will not go and get a toy from the box, oh no, the toy another child is holding is much more attractive...
-Watch how much gratitude is shown when you try to get that nasty diaper off. Does he jump up and down and say, "I really appreciate that!" No! As far as he is concerned, that was the least you could have done.
Parents do not realize it, but behind that little sweet innocent face, is a potential Jesse James, Al Capone, a murderer, thief, liar, etc. They must give him the spiritual help and training he needs. Live for the Lord consistently. Be in church to learn God's Word, and to fellowship. Study God's Word at home, and keep Christian music filling the air. Why? Because YOU CANNOT START TOO EARLY! Leaving a child to itself, one day after it is conceived, is leaving it to itself too long. Your attitudes and environment affect even your unborn child.
Illus: The child is like a tree in some ways. The time to shape a tree is when it is small. Once it is almost grown, it is almost impossible to train it to go in a different direction.
When is a child too young to go to Sunday School? It is never too young! The child needs to feel the warmth and fellowship of the extended Christian family. The child needs the nursery worker to look him in the face, and help him learn, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.”
Proverb 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." We hear people quote this when they comfort parents, when a child goes through a period of drifting from the Lord. They say the child will come back to the Lord because of its early training in the Lord. That is true, many have done this. But the first application of that verse is greater than that! It is possible, as parents are faithful, from the beginning and all through that child's development, to continue instilling Bible principles, that that child will always serve the Lord, and still be serving the Lord even to its dying day. God instructs us to COMMENCE EARLY!
II. CONTINUE WISELY. Proverb 1:22 says, "How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?" The Bible teaches Christian child rearing should COMMENCE EARLY, and once the parent begins early, they should determine to CONTINUE WISELY. That is, if their children are going to be effective Christians that God can use, we have to teach them some things to do, things for the Lord. Why? If they do not become effective Christians that God can use, they will not earn any eternal rewards. Did you hear that! They will not have any rewards! Remember, salvation is free. Christ paid the full price for that, but rewards must be earned. People must be taught to work for the Lord. That way, when they get to Heaven they will reap rewards.
Illus: Many people in the world are very poor. We see pictures in the news reports of people who have hardly anything to eat, and just the clothes on their backs, and some only have a lean-to, or a piece of material on poles to sleep under. They are alive, but have nothing. We think, "That is heart-breaking!" We would like to know that they could have enough food, and shelter, and clothing, to be warm and healthy. And then we would like them to have some extra things to enjoy. Now, if that concerns us in this life, should it not be a far greater concern spiritually? Certainly! Eternity will not end in 40 or 50 years. It will last FOREVER!
If we do not teach our children how to be used of God, they are not going to have any eternal rewards. Isn't that sad? They will go to heaven because they have been saved, but then they will not have the rewards to enjoy that others will have, who lived effective and productive lives for the Lord. So, we should CONTINUE TEACHING THEM WISELY HOW TO BE PRODUCTIVE FOR THE LORD. We should teach them:
1. We can only do so much for them, but there are some things they have to do for themselves. Notice, this proverb speaks of "SIMPLE ONES." This describes parents, whose approach to child rearing is based on the thinking that it will all work out, and that one day, the child will grow up to be a hard-working Christian, who will be rewarded richly by God. It doesn't work that way, SIMPLE ONES. The writer says, "How long..." will you go on being foolish? Parents who profess to be saved, need to train their children to become productive servants for the Lord, so He can richly reward them. They must CONTINUE WISELY, TEACHING THEM CHARACTERISTIC TRAITS THAT GOD CAN USE! For example, they need to be taught:
2. Personal responsibility. Recently a man died who was in his early 50's. When he died, he had lost his family, home and friends. He was considered to be a "street" person. Years ago he would have been called a first class bum. The only reason he was not completely on the streets was because his mom and dad provided lodging, food, and clothing for him all his life. He never was taught any responsibility. His parents did everything for him the whole time he was growing up, and even until he died. His premature death was the result of alcohol abuse. His whole life was a waste, because his parents never taught him any responsibility. The parent who does his job successfully in this area, produces a child who is able to take care of and provide for himself.
Illus: One teenager told his friend, "I'm worried. My dad slaves night and day to give me everything I want, and to see that I have a college education. My mother irons my clothes, cooks my food, cleans my room, takes out my trash, and takes care of me when I'm sick." The friend asked, "What are you worried about?" He replied, "I'm afraid they are going to try to escape!"
Seriously, the child who is taught to be responsible will be able to take care of himself, and will be able to work for the Lord, and earn eternal rewards. He will learn that he is saved by God's marvelous grace, but must earn rewards through carrying out personal responsibility. Also, we need to teach them about-
3. Peer pressure.
Illus: A man had a doctor's appointment that his wife made for him. He had never been to that doctor before. He was surprised when he walked into the waiting room. There was a group of men, sitting around in their under clothes, waiting to see the doctor. When he saw this, he took his clothes off also, and sat down to wait to see the doctor. After he waited nervously for a while, he was told…..he was on "Candid Camera."
If grown people will buckle under peer pressure, how much more do we need to CONTINUALLY teach our children, that they do not need to do something just because "everyone else" is doing it? Most of the time, what "everyone else" is doing is wrong. There are folks today who are literally getting rich, because they know young people have not been taught to think for themselves.
Illus: Has your teenager bought a pair of "tennies" lately? Two pair of tennis shoes can be on display side by side. Both are made of the same material and seem to be constructed the same. One has a “brand name”, and costs $129.00. The other is not a "brand name." It costs $39.00. A teenager will want to buy the more expensive tennis shoes, because of the brand name that is on that pair of shoes.
Yes, people are literally getting rich, because they know that teenagers will buckle under PEER PRESSURE every time. And listen, if they will buckle under that kind of peer pressure, what do you think will happen when they are pressured to sin? The same thing will happen, unless they are strong as steel! Wise parents will teach their children to be strong enough not to buckle under "peer pressure."
III. CONTINUE PRAYERFULLY.
One of the best things parents can do for their children is pray for them, and pray with them. There will come a time when you can DO NO MORE. That is, when our dependent children grow into adults, then all we can do is pray. Pray for them to be good Christian parents.
Illus: A convicted criminal said, upon sentencing, "I pardon the judge for his sentence is just. I pardon the police, they did well to arrest me. But there are two people in this courtroom I will not forgive. They are my parents who brought me up without God and without hope!"
Can you imagine how those parents felt when they heard that! They had miserably failed him!
Conclusion/Summary: It is believed that the flames, smoke, hollering and suffering for eternity, are not the worst things about hell. It is believed that one of the most horrible things will be, being there with children who could have been saved, who could have lived productive lives for the Lord, and earned eternal rewards, who must now suffer for eternity, all because their parents failed to obey God. It is believed that those children will literally chase their parents through the flames of hell, screaming, "You are the reason I am here! You are the reason I am here for eternity!" Parents, yours is the awesome responsibility of raising those children for the Lord...
I. COMMENCE EARLY
II. CONTINUE WISELY
III. CONTINUE PRAYERFULLY
