We read in Psalm 91:16, “You will be satisfied with a full life and with all that I do for you. For you will enjoy the fullness of my salvation!” (TPT)
As we continue our study on the last verse of Psalm 91, we understand that the promise of God to one who has made Him his refuge, is that He will satisfy him with a full life in every way. However, sadly there are many who live a life of discontent, and there are few who are truly living a life of total satisfaction.
Relationship between parents and children
In many families parents are not happy about their children and in others, children are not satisfied with their parents. So also, many husbands complain about their wives and many wives are quite dissatisfied with their husbands. None of us as parents who have children chose them or selected them, but our children were given to us by God Himself. The children in our home were ordained to be with us by God, and if this thought is firmly fixed in our minds, we will not complain about them. The same principle applies for children too, for the fact remains that no child can chose who they would like to have as their parents.
We read in Psalm 127:3,“Children are a gift from the LORD; a productive womb, the LORD's reward.” (ISV)
First and foremost as parents we must acknowledge that our children are God’s gift to us and so also children must understand that parents are God’s gift to them. It is only when we do so, will we appreciate these relationships and value them. If God were to come directly to us and entrust something which He would like you to take care of, I guess we would be extremely cautious in the way we handled or used it. That’s exactly how it is with our children, they are God’s precious gifts committed to our care. It is the responsibility of every parent to bring up our children as God desires and also the duty of every child to honor their parents.
It is a sad situation today when children grow up, are sometimes more educated than their parents that they forget to give them the honor that is due to them. If we do this, we will lose out on the blessings that is duly ours, as we have failed to honor our parents as God has commanded us. So also many parents are not satisfied with their children. Hence they are constantly comparing their children with other children and create a sense of bitterness and misery in the heart of their own children. Every child is unique and God has created them this way. It is only when we accept this fact, will we appreciate our own children. One of the reasons for constant friction in the home between parents and children is this habit of constantly comparing their children with others, who according to them are doing far better than their own. We should be careful to not cause hurt to our children, especially with our words, for these will have a long-lasting effect on their lives. Let us thank God for our children and when we do so, we will have peace in our hearts and a sense of satisfaction with them.
This is the case of many children too who compare their parents with parents of other friends or acquaintances. When their own parents are not able to provide them with some of the luxuries that other parents can, they get discontented. They even begin to question their parents about their capabilities to be a good provider for them. As children we should keep in mind that our parents sacrificed much to raise us up. Many parents have spent sleepless nights when their children were babies, educated them, taken care of them when they fell sick, provided for them and it is our obligation to give them due respect instead of complaining or questioning them. Children too need to realize that their parents are God’s special gift to them.
The prodigal son
Jesus often taught in parables and we will look at the one about the prodigal son in Luke 15 to understand more about the relationship between parents and children.
• He wanted his freedom
We read in Luke 15:11-12, Then Jesus said, "A man had two sons. The younger one told his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So the father divided his property between them. (ISV)
The father of these two boys was so wealthy and had so much of possessions, that he could actually divide them between both his sons. The father must have been a loving man for he did not question his son who wanted his share, but willingly divided the property and gave it to him. Not only did he give the share to the young son who asked, he also gave the share to the elder son who did not ask for it, for he was a just and fair father. Here are three qualities that are outstanding about this father, he gave willingly, he was loving and he was also a just man.
• He sought satisfaction away from home
We read in Luke 15:13, “After a few days the younger son sold his part of the property and left home with the money. He went to a country far away, where he wasted his money in reckless living.” (GNB)
This young man became dissatisfied with his family and the relationships he had at home. He initially pretended to stay on, and a few days later he moved away to a far-away place taking all that he had. He probably chose to go far away so that the father would have no clue about his whereabouts. Once he got there he lived a reckless and sinful life. The reason for his decision to get away from his father was because he wanted to live a riotous life with no controls whatsoever. The younger son also wasted all of his father’s wealth that he had so greedily acquired from him. As long as he was with his father he had security, he had his wealth intact, but once he chose to walk away because of discontentment and lived life his own careless way, he lost everything that was his.
Here’s a word of caution to all of us, if we are not content with the relationships we have, it will eventually end up in division. If instead of being thankful about our relationships, we are constantly grumbling about them, this will end in an estrangement of relationships with those closest to us. Grievously, many people are staying together physically, but have been severed in their hearts from those they are living with. Should this be the case in a relationship between husband and wife or parents and children, we can seek the Lord and ask Him to bring about the healing to our relationships. God brings contentment and Satan always bring dissatisfaction which results in disunity. Satan always comes to take away the peace and brings in confusion and disharmony.
The prodigal son is an alert for any young person who thinks that life away from the security of home will be safe for them. Many a time the reason for youngsters desiring to get away from their parents is because there are sinful desires lurking inside of them.
• He lost everything
When the prodigal son came to the point of total want, and the place where he lived was struck with severe famine, he had nothing and sought for some sort of work. The only job that was offered to him was to tend pigs. It was only during this time of hunger and poverty that he realized all that he had lost, his money, status, respect, his good clothes and was now in a deplorable state.
Have you noticed many children will constantly complain about the food at home and will often refuse to eat what is prepared? Interestingly, they learn the value of this when they have to go for higher studies and are forced to stay in a hostel. When the food served is not up to the mark, it is only then they realize all that they had taken for granted at home. The same children when they get back home will relish everything that is cooked at home for them and are thankful. So, as long as they are at home they complain and do not appreciate all that is theirs until these blessings are taken away from them.
• He came to his senses
In Luke 15:17 we read, “The son realized that he had been very foolish. He thought, 'All my father's hired workers have plenty of food. But here I am, almost dead because I have nothing to eat.” (ERV)
Only when the prodigal son had to come to the point of total deprivation, he came to his senses and understood all that he had gambled away and forfeited by his dissatisfaction. He realized that the laborers in his father’s house were better off than him, for they were assured of their regular meals and daily wage. The young man understood that he was truly in a far worse situation than anyone could ever imagine.
We needn’t come to the place of complete dispossession in order to value all that is already ours. If we are careless we could lose all of this, simply because we are not content with what we have. Let us value all the relationships that God has graciously granted to us. For those who look for faults in relationships, we are sure to find them, for there are no perfect people and hence no perfect relationships. Instead as parents and children let us thank God for each other and truly value each other as God wants us to.
Relationship between husband and wife
The Samaritan Woman
In John 4:4-42 there is an incident recorded where Jesus was passing through the town of Sychar, in Samaria. Jesus being tired and exhausted sat down by a well to take some rest. At 12 noon when it must have been really hot, a woman of the town came with her pots to get water from the well. Usually women had the practice of coming to take water early in the morning or later in the evening, and also they would mostly come in groups talking to each other. Strangely this woman came at an odd hour and also all by herself. We will understand the reason for this later.
Jesus engaged in conversation with this Samaritan woman and this is what we read in John 4:16-18, Jesus told her, "Go get your husband and come back." The woman answered, "But I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You are right to say you have no husband. That's because, although you have had five husbands, the man you live with now is not your husband. That much was the truth." (ERV)
This woman had been married five times, and her situation was such that she had left all of them, and was living with a man who was not her husband. After all her tries at marriage, she had come to a place of utter loneliness. Her constant change of partners had not satisfied her in any way. She had either isolated herself or had been secluded by society.
There are many husbands and wives who are dissatisfied with each other and often wish that they had married someone else. Sometimes they may be married for many long years and still will in conflict say that they had made a wrong choice. When such words are spoken it is a sure sign that there is dissatisfaction in the relationship that needs to be set right. Today divorce is considered the easy way out and many are wrongly convinced that they can get out of the relationship and find something better. The Samaritan woman is a great example to show us that such is not the case. Divorce is not the solution and marrying someone else is no guarantee that your life would become better. In the midst of differences and difficulties in a marriage relationship, we must seek the Lord to help intervene and sought out these differences and to strengthen our relationship with each other. Be thankful to the Lord for your spouse and when it is tough ask the Lord to intervene to bring changes in both. In marriage both the husband and wife must be willing to change, and set things right before God and with each other.
Jesus’ teaching on divorce
In Mark 10:4-9 we read, The Pharisees said, “Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife by writing a certificate of divorce.” Jesus said, “Moses wrote that command for you because you refused to accept God’s teaching.But when God made the world, ‘he made people male and female.’ ‘That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two people will become one.’So they are no longer two, but one. God has joined them together, so no one should separate them.”(ERV)
This was the response of Jesus to the Pharisees who tried to justify divorce. Jesus told them that God had permitted divorce only because of the hardness of their hearts. Marriage was God’s plan and it was God who decided that it was not good for man to be alone and therefore, gave him a suitable partner for him. The crown of God’s creation was Adam and Eve and He considered all of His creation was perfect after God had created them. God created them as man and woman and also commanded that the man and woman be united together with one heart, mind and body. God also instructed that the man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. They are made one flesh and therefore, what God has united no one should separate.
There are so many issues families are facing because they have not understood God’s plan for their marriages. We grow up as children and then as grown-ups God grants us our own family. The husband as the head of the family has the responsibility to lead this family that God has entrusted to him in the proper way. A man should not be going to his mother or father constantly seeking advice to lead his own family. Some parents may give good advice, but there are others who because of their love for their own children, could mislead with wrong advice. This if followed will surely bring many misunderstandings between husband and wife. One flesh implies that there is no more place for dissatisfaction or complaints about the relationship. What God has joined together no one should separate also means that God does not approve of divorce and there is no room for couples who are married to be separated from each other for any and every issue they face.
Here’s the conclusion of the matter that we as children of God need to be satisfied in relationships especially in those as parents and children and as husband and wife. Instead of magnifying each other’s faults, let us thank God for the good qualities we see in each other. Let us be grateful to God for every one of these relationships and when we do so our families will certainly be a haven of peace and satisfaction.
Pastor F. Andrew Dixon
www.goodnewsfriends.net
Transcribed by Sis. Esther Collins
