Our current series is called “What Keeps You Up At Night?” We’ve explored anger/bitterness, concern for family, and today I want to talk about regret. It’s the idea of dealing with our mistakes/sins, whether real or perceived from our past.
Personally, the concept takes me back to my college days when the movie “Rudy” was released. For those who don’t know, Rudy is the story of a young man who was determined to play for the Notre Dame football team and all the struggles he went through to finally achieve getting to play in the final game of his senior year. That movie came out when I was a junior at Bible college, having decided to pursue God’s calling on my life rather than trying to play football at the University of Wisconsin. That year, the Badgers had played one game in Japan and went on to win the Rose Bowl. After watching the movie, I was processing a lot of what ifs and regrets. Now, I’m able to watch that movie and it still impacts me on an emotional level as I remember that time in college, but now I can look back at it with gratitude to God for bringing me to where I am today. He’s given me some incredible ministry opportunities and a great church in which to serve. He’s provided me with a wonderful wife and two beautiful daughters. I wouldn’t trade my life for the world.
The apologetics web site, gotquestions.org, defines regret as “sorrow or remorse over something that has happened or that we have done. Regret can also be a sense of disappointment over what has not happened, such as regretting wasted years.”
In our text today, Paul points out that there are two kinds of regret, though he calls it grief- worldly grief and godly grief. Read 2 Corinthians 7:10.
The gospels, especially Matthew, illustrate this contrast as they share the events surrounding the crucifixion. As they tell about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, they also provide a number of side scenarios in which they highlight what transpires for Judas Iscariot and Peter.
It begins in Matthew 26. Judas approaches the chief priests because he knows they are out to get Jesus. He negotiates a deal and agrees to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Of course, Jesus knows what he’s doing and predicts Judas’ betrayal during the last supper. Later that night, as Jesus is praying at Gethsemane, Judas leads a crowd wielding swords and clubs. Judas betrays Jesus with a pre-arranged sign, the Judas Kiss on the cheek.
At this point today, there are a number of reactions to what Judas has done. A lot of us read this narrative and are appalled. “How can he do this? I can’t believe it! What treachery!”
Don Richardson, missionary to the Sawi tribes of New Guinea in the 1960s, shares a different response in his book, “Peace Child.” The Sawi people were cannibalistic and placed a high value on treachery. When the Richardsons began to share the gospel message, the people responded by celebrating what Judas had done to Jesus. Don and his wife were beside themselves, trying to figure out a way to help the people understand that Judas was the heel, not the hero. And then something happened between a couple of warring tribes. One of the chiefs gave his newly born son to the chief of the other tribe to raise as his own. This child was known as the Peace Child. As long as he was cared for and lived, the two tribes would live in peace. Don realized he had found his connecting point. He began to explain that Judas had betrayed the Peace Child that God had given to man so that the two can live in peace. Judas was no longer celebrated and many began to give their lives to Christ.
My personal perspective, the Scott Jewell version if you will, is that Judas, like many other Jews, believed that the messiah would lead Israel in rebellion, free the people from Rome, and rise up to be the next world power. I believe that Judas thought he was forcing Jesus’ hand- he would betray Jesus and the revolution would begin. But then Jesus didn’t resist arrest, even healed the man who lost his ear in the confrontation. Judas realizes he had misread the circumstances and is filled with a worldly regret.
In Matthew 27, we see Judas go to the extreme in handling his regret, he follows a worldly path. Read Matthew 27:3-5. Judas regretted what he’d done, but rather than turning to God with repentance, he turned to his own devices. He goes to the temple, admits he was wrong, and tries to give the silver back. The priests don’t care and tell him that’s on him. Judas gets even more desperate and, deciding he’s out of options, in his worldly regret, he goes and hangs himself.
Now, I recognize that his demise was prophesied because God knew how Judas would respond. But I also believe that God has given us free will. If Judas would have exercised his free will to handle his regret in a godly way by turning to God, I believe the prophecy would have been different because God would have known that Judas would repent and would have been ready to forgive him. But he chose worldly regret over godly regret that would lead to repentance and was lost.
In contrast, Peter’s story also begins the night of Jesus’ arrest in Matthew 26. Jesus has called Judas out for his betrayal already. The remaining disciples then went with Jesus to the Mount of Olives before heading to Gethsemane. Jesus prepares the disciples for what’s about to happen in the coming hours and informs them that they will all fall away. Peter, in his usually brash outspoken manner, declares he would never fall away. Jesus tells him, not only will he fall away, but Peter will deny knowing Jesus three times before the rooster crows. But Peter is determined that he could never do that, he was going to follow Jesus even if it cost him his life. The rest of the disciples chime in with their agreement.
Just a few hours later, Jesus has been arrested and is now on trial. Peter has followed to see what’s going to happen and, when confronted, denies Jesus- not once, not twice, but three times! First, a servant girl confronts him but Peter claims he doesn’t know Jesus. Another servant girl confronts him and he denies knowing Jesus. Then some of the bystanders point out that his Galilean accent has given him away. Peter gets himself all worked up and begins throwing a tantrum to the point of cussing and swearing and then… the rooster begins to crow. I picture Peter stopping mid-sentence as he realizes what he’s done. He’s immediately filled with regret, runs away, and weeps bitterly.
But unlike Judas, Peter didn’t stay in a state of worldly regret. We pick up his story in John 21. The resurrected Jesus finds Peter and some of the other disciples on a boat, fishing. He gives them directions for where to cast their nets, John points out that it must be Jesus, and Peter jumps into the water and sets the world record for the 100 meter swim as he rushes to see Jesus. I believe Jesus sees this as a demonstration of godly regret and proceeds to restore Peter. We see the conversation in John 21:15-17. “Peter, do you love me?” “Yes, you know I do.” “Feed my sheep.” This takes place three times, just as Peter had previously denied knowing Jesus three times. As we know, Peter goes on to lead the apostles as they choose a replacement for Judas Iscariot and then gives the first gospel message at Pentecost.
That brings us to our story. We all have mistakes, we all have sinned, we all have skeletons in the closet. Paul addressed this to the Corinthians in the passage we read at the beginning. It’s not that we have regrets- we all do. It’s what we do with that regret. We, like Peter, need to deal with these regrets in a godly way, so how do we do that?
First, we need to take our regrets to God. Read 1 John 1:9. You see, God already knows what you’ve done and what’s been done to you, you can’t hide it from Him, and you can’t simply handle it yourself. We need to go to God, confess where confession is needed, unload the burdens that need unloaded.
Once we’ve given those regrets to God, we need to leave them with Him. Read 2 Timothy 2:11-13. How often do we take a struggle to God then try to take it back? I’m reminded of a story of a carpenter up on a roof laying shingles. It was a few stories up and the roof was rather steep. He leaned over to get something and lost his balance and began to slide down the roof. In a moment of desperation, he cried out, “Lord, help me!” Just then, a nail caught his pantleg and his slide came to a stop. He immediately says, “Never mind, God, I’ve got this one.” We’re just like that carpenter sometimes, aren’t we? Ask God for help then forget to give Him the credit. We need to trust God to handle our regrets. He is faithful, even when we’re not.
Third, we need to watch for how God will use our regrets for His glory. I’m reminded of the story of Joseph. He was Jacob’s favorite son because he was Rachel’s firstborn, even received a special coat of many colors. This caused his brothers to be jealous. To make matters worse, Joseph began bragging about these dreams he was having that seemed to indicate that he was going to rule over his family. His brothers sell him into slavery. Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce him then lies that he was the one making advances. He gets thrown into jail, where he gains the jailkeeper’s trust and interprets dreams for a couple prisoners. When his interpretations come true, they forgot about Joseph until Pharaoh began having disturbing dreams. Joseph interprets Pharaoh’s dreams, is made second-in-command in Egypt, and is eventually reunited with his family during a famine. When he reveals himself to his brothers, he gave them this reassurance. Read Genesis 50:19-21.
Joseph was able to look back at his life, acknowledge his own mistakes, and recognize the mistakes others had made towards him. However, he was able to see how God had taken what was meant for evil and brought about good, saving many lives.
We can do the same thing. Maybe there’s something you’ve done that you’re ashamed of but learned a valuable lesson. Maybe someone did something terrible to you that you’ve had to heal from. We can use those experiences in our lives to speak into the live of others.
So if we want to live without regret, we need to follow the process of 2 Corinthians 7:10-11. In Corinth, their godly regret brought them to repentance which led to salvation. The same is true for us today. It all begins by turning to Jesus.
Invitation
