Our Sermon Series this month is entitled: "Insomniacs: Things That Keep Us Up At Night."
I read that some of the Polynesian natives spend a great deal of time fighting. When people offend them, they steal something that belonged to offender and hang it from the ceiling of their hut. Then they lie awake at night, look at the items hanging from the ceiling and remember that person had done… and try to decide how to get even.
You know they’re not all that different from a lot of other people in this world. There are many people who spend their nights thinking about those who’ve hurt them, wronged them, and mistreated them.
ILLUS: Researchers interviewed over 1,400 American adults asking them to rate how likely they were to forgive others for hurting them. The participants also answered questions about how well they’d slept in the past 30 days, how they would rated their health, and how satisfied they were with their life. The results suggested - those who forgave others slept better than those who didn’t. (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_a_grudge_keeping_you_up_at_night Sophie McMullen | October 14, 2019)
You see, bitterness can rob you of sleep (keep you up at night). But our text today says it can do more than that rob us of the grace of God. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:15
Now, everybody gets mad once in a while. But when we tame down, everything’s ok. But people who are bitter aren’t like that. Bitter people don’t tame down. Bitter people hold grudges like their life depended on it. Because somebody has slighted them. Somebody has rejected them. Somebody has hurt them. Somebody has deprived them of something precious or valuable.
ILLUS: I once read about a woman who had a dog she loved deeply, but one day the dog bit the newpaper boy, the boy called the authorities and the impounded the dog for a week before returning it its owner. The greatly angered the woman, and she began calling the boy and harrassing him. She did this sometimes 2 or 3 times a day... every day of the week... 52 weeks a year... for 43 years!!! The calls only stopped when SHE DIED!
Most people aren't that flagrant in their desire for revenge... but lots of bitter people would do stuff like that if they thought they could get away with it. Every time they think of that “someone” who’s hurt them, their blood boils and they try to think of ways that they could put that person down, or hurt them somehow. They hold on to their wounds and seem unable or unwilling to forget.
A Biblical example of this mindset would be Cain. God accepted his brother Abel’s sacrifice… but had rejected Cain’s. And (as far as Cain was concerned) that wasn’t right. Cain became so bitter at his brother you could see it in his face. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?” Genesis 4:6
Just thinking about how Abel deprived him of God’s blessing made Cain’s face cloud over. You could literally see the resentment and hatred in his eyes. And Cain’s bitterness so dominated him that he ultimately struck his brother down… killed him. Cain’s bitterness defiled him!
Now, what does the word “DEFILE” mean? The word used here in Hebrews means – “to pollute”, “to contaminate,” “to stain.”
ILLUS: Think of it this way: Let’s say you’ve bought a loaf of bread. You put it on the counter… and you forgot about it for a month or so. Then you find it again… and you can tell the bread has changed color. The loaf has turned green. So, do you open the bag and eat the bread? Of course not. It’s contaminated now… it’s polluted with mold. It makes you uncomfortable to even have it around.
Ephesians 4:30 says “do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all BITTERNESS and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”
Get rid of your bitterness, wrath, anger, slander, malice… WHY? Because if you don’t you’ll grieve the Holy Spirit of God. You’ll be contaminated to the point where your soul will be moldy and useless to Him. God won’t want to touch you any more than you wanted to touch that moldy loaf of bread. Bitterness pollutes our hearts and robs us of God’s grace. So, get rid of all bitterness.
Jesus, when He taught His followers to pray said this: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, AS we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others when they sin against you, neither will your Father forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:9-15
WHOA??? You mean - if I don’t forgive others God won’t forgive me?????! Well… that’s what Jesus said and that’s kind of scary. In fact… it doesn’t seem quite fair for God to do that. I mean, justice demands that a person pay the penalty, and if I forgive someone who’s offended me… aren’t I saying that they weren’t wrong?
Well… no. Someone once said: “Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free.” (Stormie Omartian). Forgiving others frees you. But frees me from what?
First, it frees me from the consequences of my hatred.
ILLUS: Various studies have found that unforgiveness can effect my health. Everything from headaches, to back pain, insomnia… and heart problems. We weren’t designed to be bitter people. Bitterness robs us of our health.
And that’s just physically. Bitterness can also rob us of God’s grace. Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”
I could be robbed of God’s grace? Well, that’s what God said… and Jesus illustrated it with a parable. “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to king who wished to settle accounts w/ his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ Out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:32-35)
I find it interesting – in this parable – that Jesus is NOT making light of the pain others cause us. The 2nd servant owed 100 denarii – that’s would be about $10,000 in our culture. $10,000 is a lot of money… if you owed that much to me I’d want it back! If someone owes me that much – pay up.
In our culture we have “Debt statements” we use when others hurt us. “I’m going to get ‘even’ with them.”
“They owe me!” And we often think folks (who’ve hurt us) OWE US an apology, or some other form of satisfaction. And, I’m going to PUNISH them until I’m satisfied!
And isn’t that what the 1st servant did? He PUNISHED the other servant who owed him. He threw him in jail until the DEBT WAS PAID! But Jesus’ parable illustrates an absurdity that everyone can understand. The first servant owed 10,000 Talents - that’s BILLIONS of dollars in today’s economy, and was forgiven – the debt entirely removed. But then he refuses to forgive a far lesser debt. And that’s Jesus’ point! God has forgiven us an enormous debt. For us to NOT forgive others is an insult to the Father!
All have sinned and fallen short. ALL have hurt God. ALL have been enemies of God. And the pain and sorrow we’ve cost God is so vast that the pain others have inflicted on us pales by comparison. The point is, God has forgiven us far more than what we’d ever have to forgive others for. So – let’s revue – bitterness and unforgiveness, pollutes us, contaminates us, and robs us of our health and our relationship with God. AND IT INSULTS GOD!!! You don’t want that, do you? So we want to get rid of bitterness, but how can we do that?
First – recognize that bitterness is sinful. It stains you, pollutes you, and corrupts your soul. And it robs you of God’s grace. Once I know the damage it does easier to stop doing it.
ILLUS: Just as an example - I love Pepsi. My dentist doesn't. He's warned me for years that it was damaging my teeth, but I didn't take it as seriously as I should have. Then one day, after sipping some Pepsi, I experienced a deep pain in my teeth that wouldn't go away... I don't drink Pepsi anymore.
In the same way, once realize how damaging things like bitterness can be to our lives, its easier to decide not allow for it any longer in our lives.
Secondly – bitterness is causes us to try to be GOD. James 4:11-12 says “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy.”
When we become bitter… we play God. And we seek to punish others as if WE were God. But there’s only one lawgiver (GOD) and there’s only one judge (GOD).
Romans 12:19 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." If someone needs to be punished… let God do it. He’s better at it than you are!
3rd – Realize that forgiving someone DOESN’T mean allowing them to continue hurting you. A person once asked how they could forgive a family member had sexually abused them. I explained – that she should still protect herself from being alone with them. But the objective of forgiveness was to let go of her hatred. To be get to the point where she could pray for that family member. Then I told her the story of Corrie Ten Boom.
CLOSE: During WWII, the Nazis sent 1000s of people to concentration camps. One of those people was named Corrie Ten Boom. Her parents died in the camps, and she and her sister endured numerous indignities and humiliations at the hands of their captors.
But when the war was over, and she was freed, she found she was still imprisoned by her hatred of those who had hurt her and her family. After much tears and prayer… she finally succeeded. She was so successful that she began to speak at churches all across Europe trying to help others accomplish the same objective.
Over and over again, she would forgive one person, then another of what they’d done to her. But there was one individual who she had great difficulty in forgiving. In fact, she spent several sleepless nights struggling with her memories of this man. So she went to speak to her preacher.
He thought about it for a few moments and then pointed to the bell rope hanging in the foyer.
“Do you see that bell rope?” he asked. “Every Sunday, the sexton pulls on the rope and rings that bell – announcing to the community that it is time for worship. As he pulls the rope, the bell rings ‘ding’, and ‘dong’, ding and dong. Eventually he lets go of the bell rope… but the bell still swings and rings ding, and dong, slower and slower until at last it stops ringing.”
I believe the same thing is true of forgiveness. When we forgive, we take our hand off the rope. But if we've been tugging at our grievances for a long time, we mustn't be surprised if old angry thoughts keep coming for a while. They're just the ding and dongs of the old bell slowing down. But the key thing is this: you’ve got to let go of the bell rope. You’ve got quit tugging at your grievances over and over again or you’ll never forgive.
So, have you let go of the bell rope? Or is there someone you have never forgiven of past sins? Is there someone who – if you met them in the grocery store – you’d walk away - because being around them makes you angry? Is there someone who – if they sought help from you or from the church you’d get upset because these people don’t deserve to be helped? OR, is there someone who – just hearing their name sets your teeth on edge?
Then you need to let go of the bell rope. You need to forgive so that Satan doesn’t get a foothold in your life. So that God can forgive you; so that God can fully bless you and reward you for your faithfulness and obedience.
But first you must come to the understanding that YOU need forgiveness. INVITATION.
