Early this past week I had a both disturbing and thought-provoking conversation with a young lady.
She told me about an experience she had had at a significant social event recently. She had run into to a couple who were old friends at this social event, and they had formerly been her spiritual leaders in a Christian ministry for four years. She had initiated with each of them individually during a social time after the major event and had a disappointing experience with each of them. She attempted to make conversation with the husband and was in the middle of this conversation when he suddenly became distracted and walked away, without saying a word, while she was practically in mid-sentence, without excusing himself. And as she attempted to greet the wife, the wife urged her little boy to say hi to her, and then became so distracted with her children, she forgot to say hi to this young lady herself.
And I guess all of that is excusable and forgivable. I imagine that from one time to another many of us do those sort of things, except that these two experiences actually epitomized this young lady entire experience with these two former spiritual leaders of hers.
She had been quiet, and a bit socially awkward especially during the early years of her involvement in this ministry and had somewhat blamed herself for her loneliness while involved with the group. She had sought to initiate with various people, but they hadn’t been interested for the most part. As for this leadership couple, they seemed to focus on the in-crowd, the more social and easy-to-talk-to kids, who seemed to be their favorites. When this young lady finally did get up the courage to talk to one of the leaders about leaving her out, the wife had replied that she just naturally moved toward where the action was, and she was sorry that the young lady had felt that way, but nothing ever changed.
Finally, the ministry dwindled from 40 to 50 peopled until about only 7 or 8 were involved, and my young friend noted that the reason for this is that the favored people, the people the ministry couple favored, ended up moving on to other opportunities, while she, who had been largely neglected and ignored, had remained faithful to the ministry. Finally, the ministry closed without this young lady ever having gained some of what she had hoped from the ministry couple—a personal relationship.
Finally, she came to a conclusion. This couple was accustomed to being the center of attention, and so even when she had confronted them, even when she had remained faithful when many of the more socially comfortable folks had not, they just never got it when it came to her. They just never understood that they weren’t meeting her needs, and it wasn’t okay.
It’s a sad story indeed. And I wonder how often it’s repeated in churches of Christian ministries. I wonder how often we become insensitive to the needs of others who are quiet, or perhaps not as easy-relate-to as others.
And I wonder if I’m every guilty of doing the same thing.
But there’s one thing I really don’t wonder about. And that’s how Jesus feels about it. and what Jesus expects. Because he repeatedly lays it out in His Word. And one those places where Jesus lays out what He expects is found in the passage before us this morning.
Again, it’s Jesus’ final night with his disciples before His crucifixion—a fact we have mentioned each time we’ve brought the message since we’ve been in John 13-17, because it’s an extremely significant factor. What Jesus says in the last intimate moments of his ministry with these disciples are among the most significant things he would ever tell them. And once again, for at least the second time during this evening, he speaks of the absolute importance, the top priority of how the disciples, and how Christians are to relate to one another. We cannot ignore each other; we cannot just pick and chose whom we love. There is a command, an obligation, which it is absolutely necessary for us to fulfill if we would fulfill God’s will and His ministry for us—and that is to love one another as Jesus has loved us—and even to the point of death if necessary. Even to the fullest extent necessary. And if we were all busy about this sort of thing, there wouldn’t be people falling through the cracks, there wouldn’t be loneliness and self-doubt to the degree we find it in our churches, there wouldn’t be people left out.
Now remember, last week, we talked about the Key to Everything in the Christian Life. We’re in the midst of the parable of the vine and the branches. And the key word in relationship to Christ for each of us is the word abide. If we abide in Christ, every blessing of our relationship to Christ is available to us—answered prayer, bearing fruit, glorifying the Father, becoming disciples. Abiding in Christ is the key to the Christian life, and we defined abiding in Christ as obeying Christ’s Word. Obeying Christ’s Word in the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of Christ. Now we come to the end of this parable, and the focus is on relationships with each other. And the key word is love. Loving one another. And it’s clear that the conclusion that Christ wants us to gather is this—if you abide and obey Christ you will love one another as Jesus has loved you. Not only that, you will love one another to the extent he loved us. You will give your life for one another.
Now, again, Jesus is repeating Himself here. He’s repeating Himself because, He knows as well as anyone that repetition is the key to learning. What we hear once, we may well forget. But when we hear it over and over again, we begin to remember if we’re paying any attention at all. And in John 13:34-35 He has said that this is a new commandment. It’s not an old commandment. It’s not something He has ever quite said in this way before. Do you remember that? What’s new about this commandment? After all, we already know that loving our neighbor as ourselves is one of the great commandments of the Law. So how is this different? Yes, we are to love one another now as Jesus loved us. And how did He love us. Well, he’s about to demonstrate to the disciples just how greatly he loved them within the next 16 to 18 hours or so. He would die for them. As rough as they were, as competitive and prideful and selfishly ambitious and childlike as they had been on this critical occasion—before and during the last supper, he would still die for them. Even though ;they would each and every one of them abandon Him in the midst of His greatest trial in life, even though some would deny Him, He would still die for them. And so when he commanded them and us, to love one another as he had loved them, it is a new command. It is a greater command, with a greater standard for love than had ever been established before—it is to be willing even to give the ultimate sacrifice and demonstrates the greatest form of love than anyone came show—and that is to be willing to die for one another. And it’s a commandment, notice, given to us, not an option. Did you know that being willing to die for another believer is a commandment of Jesu? That’s just how great our love for one another must be.
Notice again verse 12: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” And if there were any doubt that Jesus was referring to his death for each of us, all doubt is removed by verse 13. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus wants us not only to love one another, he wants us to love each other with the greatest of all loves. He’s not willing to settle for a half-hearted love, an occasional greeting between brothers, or a luke-warm affection between us. He wants us so sold out to Him that we are absolutely sold out for the welfare of one another, even to the point of giving our lives to that end. God and Jesus are not happy with anything less than being sold out to the point of death for the welfare of each other.
Did you get that? It’s not an option! It’s a command of Jesus. He wants us to excel in our love for one another to the fullest extent possible, even unto death.
Now I can imagine some of you looking around at other believers here, some of whom you may indeed have great affection. And some of whom you might not think much of. And you’re saying to yourself, “To die for.” And Jesus is saying, “Yes, to die for!” Absolutely, to die for. This is what He’s saying to us: “If you are to abide in Me, to obey My Word, then you must be willing to die for the least of these your brethren as I was willing to die for you a sinner.”
Now I think that most of us when we think about someone we might be willing to die for, we think of our children, our sons and our daughters. Or perhaps even as far as our grandchildren. If the circumstance required it, you would gladly give your life for a son or daughter, or a relative. Now you have whole new bunch of relatives. Brothers and sisters in Christ, and you’ve got to be equally committed toe each one of them. And you’re asking, how in the world is that going to happen? Jesus would answer, by abiding in the vine. By being in My word and trusting in Me—that’s how it will happen, and that’s what I want to happen in response to what I’ve done for you.
But there’s another way we’ve got to look at this because most believers never come to the actual experience when they must die on behalf of another believer. But what Jesus is implying here that we must be willing to sacrifice for our brother or sister’s welfare by doing anything and everything for them up to and including dying for them. You see, where our commitment to Christ and His Word and to His love is most like really going to be tested is not over the question of whether we’ll be willing to die for them. It’s going to be tested by the sacrifices we are willing to make on behalf of our brothers up to the point of death. If our brother is homeless, what are we willing to give up for him? If he is foodless, what are willing to give up for him? If he is money-less and can’t pay his bills, what are we willing to sacrifice to make sure he can pay his bills? And if he is friendless and lonely and maybe not as easy to relate to, what are we willing to sacrifice to be a friend to him? You know what, it may be just simply a matter of sacrificing a bit of your comfort, or initiative, in making a point of meeting his or her needs for friendship, for being loved and cared for, are met. Maybe it’s a matter of coming 15 minutes early to talk to this person or staying 15 minutes late. Maybe it’s a matter of sacrificing that B-line we want to make for our car and lunch after the service, to love someone else as Jesus has loved you.
How about it—are you loving others up to and including how Jesus loved you? In light of what Jesus has done for you, what is it you’re not willing to do for Him and therefore for your brother or sister.
As we’re talking about this, I think it’s important for us to consider what kind of situation are we Christians most likely to fail in fulfilling this command to love one another as Jesus loved us.
I can think of number: 1. When someone’s quiet, perhaps not as easy to get to know, awkward. 2. When someone perhaps isn’t attractive or like us. 3. When it’s inconvenient—when we have something better to do. Or someone better or more interesting to relate to. 4. When someone’s needy or poor. They tend not to be very popular. We’re often concerned that they might ask for something, aren’t we? 5. When someone’s going through hard times—when they’ve become unpopular with other people we know. You’ve heard about fair-weather friends. Well, let me tell you something. I don’t find anything here in what Jesus has said that excuses from loving someone who is quiet, or socially awkward, or when they’re not lovely or not likeable, or when it’s inconvenient, or we would rather spend our time some other way, or when someone is needy or poor, or someone has suddenly become unpopular or is going through hard times. Nope, Jesus says we must love our brothers and sisters no matter what they’re like or what they’re going through, and especially at their times of greatest need. It’s precisely what he specialized in, and therefore it should be what we specialize.
The disciples would fail at this this night. They would abandon Jesus at his time of deepest need, but we are never excused from being there at the time of another’s deepest need.
One more thing about his. If you do what comes naturally, if you just go with the flow, or what’s exciting or what you’re attracted, you will not do well at this. Clearly, to love as Jesus loved, to sacrifice for the sake of another in their time of need, is something that is not naturally a part of human nature. You will absolutely have to determine to do so. It will have to be an absolute commitment first to Jesus, and then to that person. That’s the only way it’s going to happen.
So, what’s the word when it comes to relating to our spiritual family--our brothers and sisters? It’s Love. It’s not the love of the world. It’s the love of Christ. Loving one another up to and including sacrificing your life for them. That’s what Jesus wants for us here at Risen King, for every true church of Christ, and nothing short of it.
Now Jesus says something very interesting, again something new, at the end of verse 13. He says, “Greater love has no man than He give his life for his friends.” Now to this point Jesus has never called these disciples His friends. Is He now referring to them in this much more intimate term. Verse 14 gives us the answer. “You are my friends if you do what I command you.”
Wow! What an opportunity? To be a friend of God. To be one who is intimate with the Almighty Creator of the Universe. After all, there were only two men in all of the Old Testament who were referred to as friends of God. That was Abraham and Moses. God told Abraham what He was doing and when. He told him all about what was going to happen to Sodom & Gomorroah in Genesis 18. He answered Abraham’s questions about that judgment, and He told him how He was going to make him and his son Isaac a great nation even when he was an old man. And He spoke to Moses face-to-face, back and forth, in conversations similar to how a man speaks to his friend. And that sort of thing, that sort of intimate relationship with Almighty God is available to every one of us through Jesus. On one condition, again, if we do what Jesus commands us. Again, if we abide and obey.
And Jesus explain for us just precisely what the difference is between a slave or a servant and a friend. Verse 15: “No longer do I call you slaves,for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.
And that really is the distinction between a mere business relationship and friendship even today. A master or an employer is under no compulsion and does not reveal why he does what he does to an employee or a servant. Why? He doesn’t need to. The slave or servant or employee simply must do his bidding regardless of whether he knows why or what. But when you begin to explain yourself, what you are doing, what you’re all about and why you’re doing it, then you’ve trusted the other person, you’ve become their confidant. You really begin to enter into friendship. And that’s exactly what Jesus had done in relationship to these disciples, even right here in the last moments of his life, but really throughout his life, in explaining why He had come and what He was doing for them, and where He was going and the fact He was coming back and now what He wanted them to do—well, that’s the kind of friend God wants to be to each us. He will be intimate with us, but on one condition, whether we keep Jesus’s commandments. Whether we hear and obey His Word. Whether we abide and obey, and therefore love one another to the extreme. Even unto death.
I had an interesting experience this week. I was reading a commentary by Warren Wiersbe, who among other things, was the speaker on Back to the Bible Broadcast for a couple years while I worked there. And he was talking about something that a legendary spiritual giant by the name of Oswald Sanders who wrote Spiritual Leadership, had once said. And he recalled how it thrilled his soul when he said it. For he was there at Back to the Bible as Oswald Sanders, a venerable old saint of 86, was speaking to the staff when he said it. And I was there as well. He was talking about Moses, and the fact that only Moses was allowed at the top of Mt Sinai, while nearly everyone else, with the possible exception of Moses’ assistant, Joshua, were not allowed up the mountain to be with God. And He made this statement: “Each of us is just as close to God as we want to be.”
And this is essentially what Jesus is saying to each of us. Each of us can be as close to Jesus as we want to be. If you abide and obey, become not just Christ’s servant, but his friend. What an opportunity!
And finally, several summary statements to this great parable of the Vine and the Branches. Jesus says in verse 16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. This I command, that you love on another.”
And what Jesus seems to be saying here is that if you abide & obey you will fulfill God’s sovereign calling upon your life—bearing fruit & loving one another.
It may seem that we have chosen God, but as Matthew Henry puts it: “Christ’s choice is prior to ours and directs and controls it.” All we know by our experience is our choice of Him. What we know by revelation is that He chose us first, and we chose Him because He chose us.
But more than that, there is a sense of eternal destiny, a divinely ordained eternal destiny--a divinely ordained eternal destiny in which what we accomplish remains. It abides. I remains forever and ever.
I remember as a young man having this desire to accomplish something that lasted beyond this life, that was of eternal significance. And here Jesus is telling us that if we abide and obey, we will indeed fulfill God’s sovereign calling upon our lives—bear fruit that will remain by loving one another as Jesus has loved us.
Last week, remember, we talked about the key to everything—the key to everything in relationship to God. We can sum it up as to abide and therefore to obey.
What is the key to relationships among believers—the key is to love. If we abide and obey we will love another as Jesus loved, and we will bear much fruit.
Wanna love one another as Jesus loved us? Wanna be a friend of God? Want to fulfill God’s eternal destiny for yourself by bearing much fruit?
Then Abide, Obey, & love one other with the same self-sacrificing love as Jesus.
Jesus expects nothing less, because it’s what He did for you and now expects you to do both for Him and for one another.
