The call to discipleship is a call to serve as a good neighbor. This call is more than a mere social event where pleasantries are commonly shared. In the call to discipleship, we are challenged to ascend to godliness and become a spiritual friend to people in our sphere of influence.
In John 14 Jesus is preparing His disciples for His departure. He tells them He would not abandon them. He promises that He will make a personal request to the Father on their behalf.
John 14:16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever–the Spirit of truth.
The Greek word for Counselor is parakaletos. The word paraclete was used for a legal assistant, a pleader, advocate, one who pleads another’s case. John presents Jesus as our paraclete. He says Holy Spirit will “be with you” (timeless present tense).
In Titus 1:9 Paul uses the Greek infinitive parakalein.
verb inf pres act, from parakale,w beg, urge; encourage, speak words of encouragement; request, ask, appeal to; console, comfort, cheer up; invite, summon
Scripture says a disciple must always seek to help others grow in their faith. Jesus spent a lot of time with the twelve disciples, modeling, training, encouraging, sending, and strengthening them. When Jesus entrusted his earthly ministry to the disciples the people of the Way/Christianity exploded in number and caring ministries.
Peterson, in his translation, The Message, captures the thought this way:
He must welcome people, be helpful, wise, fair, reverent, have a good grip on himself, and have a good grip on the Message, knowing how to use the truth to either spur people on in knowledge or stop them in their tracks if they oppose it. (p. 451)
Here is the question the text puts before each of us: Am I a disciple who is devoted to faithfully serve as a paraclete to others? This question moves us into chapter two and begs for answers in the contemporary church. Moves us away from self-absorption....
I. SEEKING OUT SPIRITUAL FRIENDS ENABLES DISCIPLES TO DEVELOP MATURITY
The concept of spiritual friends is a reciprocal experience. The disciples appreciated their relationship with Jesus; however, Jesus called them his friends. Jesus allowed the disciples into a unique relationship with him, one in which he had disclosed to them things birthed in Heaven. He trusted them to use what he shared for the same purpose God entrusted him (God-incarnate) to serve on earth—doing that which was for the good of people. Aelred of Rievaulx, an English Cistercian monk, pointed out that friendship is based on shared goals and distinguishes between different kinds of friendship: carnal friendship, based on shared pursuit of pleasure; worldly friendship, based on mutual advantage; and spiritual friendship, grounded in shared discipleship. (Posted: Spiritual Friendship by Ron Belgau)
Proverbs 27:9 The Message (MSG)
Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight,
a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.
Chapter two begins with a directive to Titus. The emphatic “but you” is in contrast to those mentioned in 1:10-16. Titus is a book about character development and the role of teaching.
1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.
Character development is at the heart of the gospel.
Teaching is important for the development of disciples. The word is didaskalia which means teaching, instruction or that which is taught, doctrine, precepts.
The New Testament encourages discipleship. A disciple is a learner. A spiritual friend is one who has been taught the heart of God and desires to help others understand the heart of God. The word from which we get disciple is maqhth,j. It translates a learner, pupil, disciple.
Tony Campolo, in “Which Jesus do you Believe In?,” says that many are turned off to Jesus because they don’t really know what he is like. They are familiar with the cultural Jesus but not the biblical Jesus. He says,
You’re not a Christian in the full sense of the word until your heart is broken by the things that break the heart of God.
Paul had invested time and energy in teaching young Christian ministers how to discern the heart of God.
A. Churches must Develop Mentors for Young Christians (2:1-2)
How well have we equipped our leaders? Remember, Paul isn’t attempting to set up a class structure in the church. He did understand the order of society and encouraged the Christians to strive for excellency in the context in which they lived.
2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Any time a person steps forward and assumes a leadership position, they must acknowledge how the visibility and responsibility of the office requires they move to a higher level of godliness. Paul draws our attention to the character traits and moral behavior that is expected of a godly leader.
1. Sober–not given to over-indulgence in wine. A sign of maturity is that we have learned the danger of self-indulgence and that it can weigh heavy on our lives. A sober minded person doesn’t allow attitudes or behaviors to askew his/her mental ability to discern truth and the will of God.
2. Serious–serious in the right way. In other words, don’t take life for granted. I keep wanting my children to think from my perspective (e.g., a senior adult who has learned a lot at the “University of Hard Knocks.). People often post things on Facebook that comes back to haunt them years later. Companies rely on social media for character references perhaps more than references listed on a resume. Who would put someone on their resume who will criticize their skills? Social media reveals the true nature of a person.
3. Prudent–a life where instinct and passion are governed by purity and strength of mind. We must realize that not everything permissible is beneficial. Paul introduces this principle in 1 Corinthians, in 6:12 and in 10:23. Life is about choice. Disciples are to carefully assess situations before speaking too quickly. Prudence means we use wisdom and good judgement when making decisions—judiciousness, from a legal perspective.
William Barclay calls this the “gravity of life.” Church leaders should be people who have great wisdom and make decision based upon that wisdom. Younger people tend to be more reckless and fail to think seriously about things they do.
“Don’t let your enthusiasm exceed your wisdom.” This is a line that has become a motto for my life. As we grow older and become more mature in our relationship with God, our faith will become stronger, the ascent to godliness will see an abundance of love that supercedes and dispels desires to attack and destroy those who have a worldview opposed to ours. Godly love, as modeled by Jesus, will develop spiritual strength.
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
Paul carries the point he is making to another level. Their demeanor should reflect those of one handling sacred things.
Clement of Alexandria said, “The Christian must live as if all life was a sacred assembly.” May I ask, do you know why young people have turned their back on the church? Could it be that too many professing Christians have treated even the sacred as if it were carnal, profane, mundane? A youth minister in a church where I was in a pastorate told the youth that church was boring, made negative comments about church leaders, and lived differently than the message he taught. With this attitude and behavior it is no surprise to learn many young people do not stay active in churches upon graduation. George Barna reported that a major reason for this is that they become frustrated about “church culture.” A good question for all churches is this: what is about our “church culture” that could result in our youth walking away from church? A good exercise could be to take the qualifications for leaders that Paul outlines and a list of the character traits that Jesus emphasized throughout his earthly ministry and use them to measure our maturity. Before becoming a mentor for developing young people, I recommend this for a personal exercise.
Question for those of us who call ourselves mature: Do I live in such a way that people will turn to me for spiritual guidance?
The concept of persons seeking guidance is a spiritual process by which God speaks to the heart of the mentee and the mentor about a preparation process for greater service. This relationship is mutually gratifying; it glorifies God and is where one finds genuine self-worth and self-esteem.
Here are some biblical models for us to study—each a sermon in itself:
• Jethro and Moses–Exodus 18
• Moses and Joshua–Deut. 31:1-18
• Elijah and Elisha–I Kings 19:16-21
• Barnabas and Paul–Acts 15:36-39
• Paul and Timothy–I & II Timothy
Following are some characteristics of spiritual friendships
• Mutuality. The relationship between friends is one where each is viewed as having equal value, knowledge, and spiritual insight.
• Intentional Time Together. In addition to calendar dates this means that when with each other both are fully present, connected.
• Active Listening. Instead of a dialogue that is based on easy yes/no questions, dialogue is based upon open-ended questions.
• Deep Sharing/Gift of Presence. This means that each share from the depths of their soul; sometimes this kind of sharing will be similar to confessing to God.
• Christ-like Character. No one is perfect; however, spiritual friends demonstrate the character traits that the Bible teaches.
• Commitment to Grow in Grace. Spiritual friends share a common goal to gain a deep understanding of God’s mercy and grace, learn how to experience it, and demonstrate they show mercy and grace to others.
• Praying Together and Studying Scripture Together. Prayer is our desire to connect with the heart of God. Praying together demonstrates our spiritual perception of each other and discern the needs of each other. Studying Scripture together allows us to understand the context of our prayer life.
• Encouragement. Life is real and we all struggle. Sometimes our incredible reach for the will of God can result in us experiencing what John of the Cross called the “dark night of the soul.” An encouraging friend can help us from doubting our relationships with God and our desire to serve him.
B. Christians Are to Seek out Godly Mentors (2:6)
6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Paul does not develop a hierarchy by progressing from older men, to older women, to younger women, to younger men, etc. He simply expresses concern for the church developing young people to assume the leadership role.
Those of us with a little gray and adjusting to receding hairlines must ask, “What kind of future do I hope my grandchildren will enjoy?” Then we must acknowledge the future leaders will model their lives after our example. The young people of our society are vulnerable! Their heroes are crumbling. They need godly men and women who will come alongside them, listening to them with open minds and praying with and for them. Below are several challenges mentors can help their mentees process and make decisions concerning them:
• If we have failed to curb our passions for pleasure, they will not develop the disciplines that will lead them to give themselves in service to Christ.
• If we have not learned the wisdom of cooling down the unchecked passions and metabolism that threatened to burn us out, they will not understand the joy of a disciplined life.
• If we do not help the youth of society know that certain choices will lead to ruin, they will fail to experience adulthood that knows only the joy, peace, and hope of Christ.
• If we do not bring them under our umbrella of Christian nurture, what hope of a promising future do they have? I am a proactive person; however, I hear a lot of hype of a better tomorrow without a return to the faith of our childhood.
We must take seriously the assignment of teaching people to live according to the divine principles of God.
C. Teachers of the Faith Must Model the Faith (2:7-8)
7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
Parents, educators, and Christians leaders should listen carefully to this encouragement. If we are to have influence with young people who are to be future leaders, our teaching will have to be backed by the witness of our lives.
Preacher who noticed that young people were no longer making a commitment to enter vocational missions and ministry. In a sermon he talked about the issue. He confronted the people with the negative manner they were influencing their young people. The youth would listen to their parents criticize their ministers and fail to support their church. He said youth are too smart to put themselves in that kind of position.
Use your time and energy affirming your Christian leaders and you will see a positive response from the youth. Criticize your Christian leaders and you will lose your influence even at home. This principle applies to relationships with those outside of the church (e.g., supervisors, community leaders, national leaders, etc.). I believe one of the reasons we are experiencing such anarchy in our society is that we have created young people who have learned to fight instead of respect various leadership roles. It is okay to disagree and not be close friends with those who have a different view; however, Paul says that if we don’t love we are nothing more than a gong with a sound lost in space. We are better than that!
D. Disciples Are to Practice Their Faith in The Workplace (2:9-10)
9Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.
Christian workers faced a problem in the Greek society. Many of the people with whom they worked were not Christians. Or, if they worked for Christians, they would be tempted to be too presumptuous. They are admonished to be obedient, respectful, honest, and faithful.
More so than while in church, they could influence people for the cause of Christ.
St. Francis took a young Friar and said: “Let us go down to the villages and preach to the people.” They stopped to talk to people. They begged for bread. They played with children. They greeted people they met. Then they turned to go home. “But father,” asked the friar “when do we preach? “Preach?” smiled St. Francis. “Every step we took, every word we spoke, every action we did, has been a sermon.”
You and I will influence more people by the way we live than through some self-righteous rhetoric that fools only self.
II DISCIPLES ARE EMPOWERED FOR GODLINESS BY THE HOLY SPIRIT
A. God Equips Kingdom People to Live Godly Lives (2:11-14)
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
Theology is the study of God–we should have a desire to know who he is and what he is like. Theology helps gain a deeper understanding of God; however, the book of Titus is not about Bible trivia. This book is about increasing our knowledge to grow in obedience to God’s revealed will.
Ascending to godliness is a process that involves the power of the resurrected Lord. He is the giver of salvation! He transforms us! Yes, we must practice the disciplines of the faith through which He works; however, we must never forget that it is He that is in us that enables us to live with integrity.
B. God Equips Kingdom People to Serve with Integrity (2:15)
15These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.
In a nutshell Paul is encouraging Titus to be enthusiastic about his ministry. The saddest thing that can happen to a Christian is for them to lose their enthusiasm. If we have lost our passion, Jesus can restore us.
CONCLUSION
The book of Titus is honest about the kind of life and witness God has in mind for Kingdom Christians. Yet, it illustrates the unique nature of who we are. Look at the last part of Titus 2:14.
Our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from the power of all lawlessness, and to purify us as a special people for himself, a people eager for all fine work.
Through the resurrection power of Jesus, we can be transformed into God’s special children. He calls us friends because he has invested his best resources in us with the plan to use us to reach the world. This starts with those within our sphere of influence.
Tom Hill is the founder of Character First, a character-building program. It has become a global program for character development. The program highlights 22-character traits (e.g., attentiveness, compassion, conservation, determination, enthusiasm, forgiveness, loyalty, orderliness, self-control, tolerance, and wisdom, etc.) and helps organizations share and implement the traits. Schools, cities, and other organizations utilize the program which costs money. Yet, if you study Scripture, you will discover these are biblical traits. Christway Counseling Center gives you free access to a list of these traits, along with Scripture examples. (Christway Counseling Center / Forms & Resources / 49 Character Qualities of Christ) We don’t have to pay for character traits, as we study Scripture and receive coaching from mature mentors, we will find ourselves growing, maturing, and serving with the same character traits that characterize the life and ministry of Jesus.
Here are the questions the text puts before each of us.
• Does my character reflect the character traits that represents the traits of a disciple?
• Have I surrendered my will to the will of God, serving him with the gifts entrusted to me?
• Am I a disciple who is devoted to faithfully serve as a paraclete to others?
• Do I serve as a spiritual counselor for anyone?
• How do I need to respond to God based upon this message?
• Who is someone I can reach out to and begin to mentor?
