For the past 4 weeks we have learned a lot about making our relationships better. We have learned how LOVE, ENCOURAGEMENT, FORGIVENESS, and SERVICE play a huge part in building more sincere relationships. We take another step today and add yet another element that will help to better your relationships. Today, we going to talk about YIELDING to one another.
PRAYER
Are you one of those people who will camp out or wait in a line for hours for a store to open so you can cash in on an item? I get a kick out of watching people on the news who camp out overnight to be one of the first to purchase the latest phone, tablet, or gadget.
On the other hand, it saddens me when I see the reports of people pushing, shoving, getting into fist fights and even trampling someone who has fallen down just to be the first in the store for the black Friday sales during Thanksgiving weekend.
People can really get impatient and grumpy while waiting in line. There was a man waiting in line at a check-out stand. He seemed agitated and impatient and had a very solemn and gloomy look on his face. When the CHEERY young woman at the check-out said, “Good morning” the man just grunted. The woman was trying to loosen the man up by joking with him, but it was quite obvious that he wasn’t in a joking mood.
Finally, the young woman said, “Sir, can I ask you a question?” The man sighed and said, “What?” “Are you a PREACHER?” “No,” the man replied, “why do you ask?” “Well, no offense, but you seem MISERABLE.”
I hope my demeanor doesn’t come through as being miserable. But if I did, I’m sure one of you would surely let me know.
But there are times when we don’t want to be first. The 4-year-old will gladly let his sister go first when they line up for vaccinations. The skydiver will often step back and let someone else jump before taking that big step outside of the plane.
These examples all share one thing, whether it’s to be the first in line or the last: it shows selfishness. A desire for something isn’t necessarily wrong, but when I push to get it at the expense of others, I’ve placed myself first and damaged my relationship.
In the book of Philippians, Paul says that we’re called to be first in line for one thing: looking out for the needs of others. And when we do that, we get the great benefit of strong relationships.
Let’s turn to Philippians 2. READ Philippians 2:1-4. “If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.”
One of the key themes in Paul’s letter to the Philippians is his call for the church to remain united in Christ. So, Paul wrote of their common belief in the gospel as their reason for unity. He urges the Philippians to live in humble unity that places the needs of others before one’s own. His instructions might sound simple but it’s anything but simple.
Let me say that Paul’s teaching in this passage isn’t an invitation to be a doormat and let others walk all over you! Paul wasn’t suggesting that you ignore your own needs or stifle your own interests. It’s good to tend to whatever you’re responsible for in your life, but don’t do it at the exclusion of others or at their expense. As you have probably once told someone, “Think of someone else besides yourself all the time.”
Work to help and meet the needs of others just as you work to meet your own needs. Jesus said the 2nd greatest commandment was to “Love your neighbor as yourself”—not love your neighbor INSTEAD of yourself. Still, we shouldn’t consider our own interests as more important than those of others.
Paul challenges the church to strive for a new level of maturity in relationships. He says in v. 2 to “Make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.” Live in harmony!
Unity pleases God, just like a well-rehearsed song becomes “music to our ears.” Think of it this way. At our church business meetings, all of our members will not agree on every single line item in the annual budget, but we can agree to stay together, work together, pray together, and serve together. We choose to push our differences aside and interact with each other with “affection and mercy.” (v.1)
So, Paul spells out how challenging this can be in verse 3-4. He talks about it in both negative and positive terms. Negatively, he instructs us “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit” (v.3) and “Everyone should look not to his own interests” (v.4). On the positive side, Paul counsels us to practice humility by considering others as more important than yourselves (v.3) and “Look out for the interest of others.” (v.4)
Do you look out for others or do you mainly look out for yourself? If you’re like me, you probably have no trouble at all thinking about your own wants. Most of us don’t need alarms on our phones to remind us to eat, sleep, or play. We serve ourselves without thinking.
But we do need reminders to keep our minds focused on others. Reminders like this message. Paul offered that reminder here, urging Philippian friends—and us—to make the needs of other people a major focus of our lives. To focus on others requires humility. We have to humble ourselves to think of others as much as or more than ourselves.
More times than not, humility is an issue of the heart. If you struggle at times to think about the needs of others as more important than your own, just ask God to help you see other people the way He does. Then you will understand it better.
In fact, Paul goes on to say something about that in verses 5-11. READ.
“Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,
6 who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God
as something to be exploited.
7 Instead he emptied himself
by assuming the form of a servant,
taking on the likeness of humanity.
And when he had come as a man,
8 he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death—
even to death on a cross.
9 For this reason God highly exalted him
and gave him the name
that is above every name,
10 so that at the name of Jesus
every knee will bow—
in heaven and on earth
and under the earth—
11 and every tongue will confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.”
First let me say that watching someone else perform a task may be the best way to learn. Demonstration videos on YOU TUBE have multiplied exponentially. Wouldn’t you rather learn by watching a video rather than reading an instruction manual?
Well Paul challenges us to observe Jesus to learn what humility looks like. We’re to follow His example. I do a children’s sermon each week for the children at our sister church in Karachi, Pakistan. This week’s lesson was to have Jesus as our role model. He’s the best role model we could have. Christ provided a perfect sacrifice for our sins, and He offers a perfect model for navigating our way through personal relationships. It all comes down to attitude. So, in verse 5, Paul says, “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus.”
If you have ever seen the movie “Groundhog Day,” we find a weatherman Phil Conners as he gets caught up in a time warp on the worst day of his life. Reluctantly he took an assignment to travel to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, to cover the annual Groundhog Day festivities. But a massive blizzard keeps him from leaving town and he has to stay the night. When he wakes up the next morning, he is stuck in February 2nd and is forced to relive the day’s events. Day after day after day.
What makes this movie so hilarious is the “broken record” of this weatherman’s life. Every day, he wakes up only to experience the same awful episodes over and over. One day Phil makes a huge shift in his attitude. He chooses to shower the townspeople with his affection; he befriends and helps everyone in the town. Everything in his world changes as he changes. Phil learns the value of serving others, yielding to others, and, consequently, it positively impacts his relationships.
Try yielding to others and see what happens. Follow their desires. Let them choose for a change. And guys, I have solved a common problem with your wives or your girlfriends. You’re going out to eat. You know the routine. “Where do you want to go?” It doesn’t matter, you choose. And no matter what you choose, many times it’s, “Not there. I ate there the other day.” Here’s some advice that will solve this problem. You ask, “Where do you want to go eat?” “I don’t care. You choose.” Write this down. You say, “I’m thinking of a place we can go. Try to guess where.” Then the first place she picks, you say, “Wow! You guessed it.” PROBLEM SOLVED.
We’ve all met someone who was full of himself. You may have fit that description a time or two yourself. When a person is full of himself, he leaves no room for others. His opinions are the cleverest and his experiences are the richest. Or so he thinks. Jesus’ attitude calls us to empty our egos and put others first. This is what we call submission.
Jesus taught humility in a parable that He told in Luke 14. READ Luke 14:7-14 – “He told a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they would choose the best places for themselves: 8 “When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, don’t sit in the place of honor, because a more distinguished person than you may have been invited by your host. 9 The one who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in humiliation, you will proceed to take the lowest place.
10 “But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when the one who invited you comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ You will then be honored in the presence of all the other guests. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
12 He also said to the one who had invited him, “When you give a lunch or a dinner, don’t invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors, because they might invite you back, and you would be repaid. 13 On the contrary, when you host a banquet, invite those who are poor, maimed, lame, or blind. 14 And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
This parable speaks for itself. But here’s the lesson. Don’t buy into the lie that your greatness comes only when you have an ever-growing number of people who know your name, or those who follow you a social media, or those that would place you at the head of their table. Kill that attitude before it kills your relationship with others. If you are tending to go in that direction, remember v. 11, “11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
READ Philippians 2:13-15 – “13 For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose. 14 Do everything without grumbling and arguing, 15 so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world,”
Paul is teaching us to shine like stars in this world. Do you want to have the best of relationships with others? This world of ours is brimming over with whiners, haters, critics, and cynics. BE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR THAT OUR CULTURE SO DESPERATELY LONGS FOR.
How do you do that? By being convinced that God is up to something great in your life. I’m not talking about being a blind optimist. I’m talking about living in the reality of what God is doing. V. 13 – “For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose.” When our focus is placed fully on God and His work in our lives, we can more easily place others’ needs before our own.
Is it even possible to follow Paul’s teaching? V. 14 says, “14 Do everything without grumbling and arguing,” Come on Paul. You surely don’t expect me to stand in line for over an hour without griping! IT IS possible to follow this. You do it by the power of the Holy Spirit, you can live without grumbling and arguing, or griping or raging. I can surely learn something from this. (Right Linda?)
It means you must make the choice to remove all the whining from your world.
On July 4th Sunday, I mentioned the Great Awakening in the New America and how preachers came over from England to spread the gospel throughout this land of ours. Jonathan Edwards was one of those who had a great career as a writer and preacher. He became world famous for his role in the Great Awakening in the 1730-40s.
After 23 years of serving his church, his flock fired him, sending him and his family out on the streets. While he was in the midst of being fired, badgered, and backstabbed, the people of the town paid close attention to his demeanor.
As they watched his behavior, one man said, “I never saw the least symptoms of displeasure in his countenance the whole week, but he appeared like a man of God, whose happiness was out of the reach of his enemies. Edwards had found what Paul had found: a joy that soars above the ups and downs of life. Like an airplane that flies above turbulence, we can fly above our storm circumstances. Our joy can be placed beyond the reach of our enemies.
Let’s finish this up by turning to Ephesians 4:1-3 – “Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Sharing isn’t something that comes naturally to us. Two toddlers can be content to let a ball rest in the corner, but as soon as one wants to play with it, suddenly the other insists it is his. Guess what happens over time? As these two little people grow into big people, their approach may become more civilized on the surface, but the basic attitude for life and relationships remains: IT’S MINE!
While adults USUALLY won’t throw punches, they find plenty of other ways to cause insult and injury. They sulk, or slander. Relationships become a growing mess because they behave like self-centered, “Me-focused” toddlers.
But when we start taking Paul’s words seriously, our relationships will be affected.
? We take the focus off ourselves and our circumstances.
? We look for ways to humbly serve others.
? We stop complaining and start loving others through service.
? We take on the same attitude of Christ.
And it’s that Christ-like humility that transforms relationships. May we all heed God’s Words today.
