- Building Up One Another -
Bear With One Another
Ephesians 4:2
Introduction
I doubt that any of us feel worthy of the life that the Lord has given. We are in great need of his grace and help every day. Still, Apostle Paul urged the Ephesians to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1). That idea of ‘worthy’ isn’t that we can live in such a way as to deserve what Christ has given us, rather, it is a challenge to do all we can to live up to our calling. The next verse is our ‘one another’ passage for today.
Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Other translations: “forbearing” (KJV), “showing tolerance for” (NASB), “making allowances for each other’s faults” (NLT). Each one of the ‘one another’ passages we have studied have presented a challenge for Christian living. The fact that Paul has to encourage us to ‘bear with one another in love’ lets us know that not all of our relationships are going to be easy. Not every Christian is easy to get along with.
Sometimes it is personality.
Sometimes that person has hurt you; is not yet forgiven.
Sometimes it is a different perspective on matters of life.
Sometimes it’s just that we haven’t gotten to know them.
Sometimes it’s that they have walked a painful road and there are some struggles.
Seven Ways We Can Bear With One Another in Love:
1. Always Start with Yourself: Be Completely Humble
You know how they say that every family has a crazy member, and if you don’t know who it is in your family, probably YOU!. In humility we remember that each of us are far from perfect.Three times Peter reminds his readers to be humble:
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 5:5 … All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Humility says, “I won’t expect more from others than I expect from myself, and I know I’m not perfect.”
2. Treat Others As You Want to Be Treated: Be Gentle
The Golden Rule is often forgotten when there is some kind of conflict or issue. Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”- Francis de Sales
3. Give The Other Person Some Time: Be Patient
Getz: “Not one of us is perfect. All of us fail, particularly in human relationships. How easy it is to expect more from other Christians than we expect from ourselves!”
When we are tempted to be impatient with others, we need to remember how patient Jesus Christ is with us. Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore… clothe yourselves with …patience."
4. You Do Not Know the Pain of Others: Be Compassionate
Colossians 3:12 “Clothe yourselves with compassion…”
“You’ll never understand a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”
All people are the way they are because of the experiences and difficulties of their lives. Let’s cut people some slack and recognize that we seldom know the whole story. It’s easier to be compassionate with people when we know and understand more about them.
5. Brighten the life of the Other Person: Be Kind
Colossians 3:12 “Clothe yourselves with … kindness”
Spurgeon said, “Kind words bring no blisters on the tongue that speaks them, nor on the ear which hears them. Kind words are never wasted. Like scattered seeds, they spring up in unexpected places. … He who expects kindness should show kindness.”
6. You May Have to Let Some Things Go: Be Forgiving
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Getz: “How ungrateful for a Christian to hold a grudge against a fellow believer when Christ has canceled our own debt of sin.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a decision. Corrie Ten Boom: “Forgiveness is the key which unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. The forgiveness of Jesus not only takes way your sins, it makes them as if they had never been.” If we wait until we ‘feel’ like forgiving others, we may be waiting a long long time.
7. You May have to Try Harder: Make Every Effort
Ephesians 4:3 “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
In the late 1800’s there were two deacons in a small Baptist church in Mayfield, Kentucky. The two deacons didn’t get along and always opposed each other in any decision related to the church. On one particular Sunday, one deacon put up a small wooden peg on the back wall of the church so the preacher could have a place to hang up his hat. When the other deacon discovered the peg, he was outraged that he had not been consulted. People in the church took sides and eventually there was a split. To this day, they say you can still find the Anti-Peg Baptist Church in Mayfield, Kentucky. (I’m not sure if this is true.)
Bearing with one another takes a deliberate effort and it is worth the effort!
Conclusion
Bear With One Another in Love
-Always Start with Yourself
-Treat others as you want to be treated.
-Give the other person some time.
-You do not know the pain of others.
-Brighten the life of the other person.
-You may have to let some things go.
-You may have to try harder.
These principles guide us to ““live a life worthy of the calling your have received.” (Ephesians 4:1). Practice them at home, husbands, wives, parents! Practice them at church! Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Galatians 5:22 “…The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her?” The husband said, “Actually, I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
Let’s try to clean up our window before we are too hard on others.
The way we begin to bear with others is to turn to Christ and remember He bore our sin on the cross.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Paul said for us to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1).
- How would you define the worthy life?
- See also 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 and Colossians 1:9-11
2. When we are wanting to grow in bearing with one another, why is it important to begin with ourselves?
3. Paul links three qualities - humble, gentle, patient - which do you think is the hardest one in which to grow? How do we grow in these areas?
4. Why is it easier to bear with some people when we know their story? Do you know an example of this that you can share with the group?
5. Lewis Smedes wrote: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner was you.” How would you explain that saying and in what ways do you agree/disagree with it? Does Luke 6:37 speak to this?
6. Forgiveness can be very difficult to offer when we have been hurt. Gene Getz wrote: “Every person I know who has an unforgiving spirit chooses to do so.” Does this statement ring true with you or no? Colossians 3:13 gives the standard of forgiveness.
7. Greg Laurie: “Before you get caught in the crazy cycle of hurt and forgiveness, try shifting your glance away from the one who hurt you and setting your eyes on the One who saved you.” How can Jesus help us to bear with one another?
8. Was there anything else that you wanted to talk about from this message?
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You can see this message on the YouTube channel of Forsythe Church of Christ.
Resources
Getz, Gene. Building Up One Another. Victor Books, 1985
Sermon by David Owens
https://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/bear-with-one-another-david-owens-sermon-on-forgiveness-for-others-141410
