For the next 6 weeks, I want to take a close look at relationships. Let’s face it, relationships seldom seem to last or at least be what they once were when a relationship began. I’m not just talking about when two people meet and fall in love. I’m talking about all relationships where we become acquainted with new people in our lives, whether it be in family, at church, at social gatherings or such.
Today, I want to focus on LOVE. It should be a simple topic. If you google the word “Love” in the Bible, you’ll find that it is used 100’s of times. Love is a unique thing. It’s something that you can give away and still have it. Let me start off with a weird illustration to try to stress my point. But before I do, let’s PRAY.
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Nobody like the ends of the bread loaf. Or should I say that most don’t like the heal of the loaf of bread. Out of all the arguments that occur in a family, very seldom does anyone ever argue over wanting the heal of the bread.
Relationships are a lot like those heels of bread. Over time, they tend to harden and become stale. Fortunately, the Bible gives us a sure method to keep our connections with others from going stale. If you’re a follower of Jesus, you have the power within you to produce an incredible freshness in the lives of others.
And I can assure you that if you keep Jesus at the forefront of your life, great relationships will form and last. It’s because of the love of Jesus that relationships can be phenomenal. But the price for all of this is not free. The connection to it all is LOVE.
Let me ask you, “Are you disappointed in the way your relationships are turning out? Do you long to go deeper with those around you? If so, listen and learn from the words of Jesus as He explained the dynamics of love. Our Scripture passage this morning comes from the Gospel of John 15.
For those who know me, you know I have to have my coffee every morning. I have my coffeepot programmed to start brewing at 6AM. That way I know that I can get up at 6:03 and have ready-made coffee. One morning I made my way to the kitchen to get that fresh hot cup of coffee to start my day. But there was nothing in the pot.
I checked the program and everything was still set like it should be. I opened the top and saw the grounds and the filter in place but it was then that I realized that I forgot to put water in the pot. No water, no coffee. Now my motto is, I pour in so that something beautiful and delicious will pour out.
Jesus made it very clear in John 15 that there is a huge reservoir of love. But it doesn’t begin with us. Love is found and taught in God. To put it in spiritual language, we must drink from the deep well of the heavenly Father’s supply if we ever hope to pour love into the lives of others. What I’m saying is, “the quality of your relationships with others will always be tied to the quality of your relationship with God.
You wonder why there is so much hate in this world? It’s because people haven’t drank from the well of love that God provides. With His love in us, we can pour out to others that same love. So, Jesus says in verses 9-10, READ. And if you remain in God’s love, hate is hard to find and relationships prosper.
Make a note of that word “remain.” That’s a key word. To remain somewhere is to dwell there continually: a place where you remain is a place where you’re comfortable enough to make yourself at home. Jesus urged us to keep our lives fresh by staying close to Him, by making ourselves at home in His love.
Now you might say, “I read the Bible every day and I pray every day so that I can have that intimate relationship with God.” Now, we might achieve some of the intimacy that Jesus describes here through regular prayer and study of the Scriptures, but this soul-deep intimacy with God comes through more than just a consistent quiet time alone with God. FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE to God’s Spirit and to His Word is the key. And that’s not something that we turn off and on as we please.
Obedience to God is the critical thing that allows us to bear fresh fruit in the lives of other people. In v. 10 Jesus bound tightly love and obedience. He says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in My love.” If you do what Jesus tells you to do, then you will feel the full force of His affection. It’s not that Jesus will love you more—you’re already completely loved by God—but you will more deeply know and experience that love. And once you know that love that deeply, it will flow freely to others. They will see Jesus in you. They will feel closer to you.
Let me tell you about a guy named Brett. Brett was the rising star in his company. He was hired as a front desk helper, but he soon outworked his competition and relished every promotion. Over the next 18 months, Brett received 4 bonuses and 3 new titles on his business card. But his zeal to climb the corporate ladder was beginning to compromise his relationships.
It all began when he volunteered for an additional project at the office. That assignment caused Brett to miss supper at home most nights, but he convinced himself that the additional work would come back to benefit the family. As his commitment to his career continued to climb, the fun-meter in their house began to fall. It wasn’t long before the family was in a crisis.
Brett’s story is a tragic story of disobedience. A love for Jesus had taken a back seat, and he no longer was obedient to Christ. So, his love for position in the company took priority over his love for his family. And everyone suffered, including Brett.
Jesus was telling us that remaining in His love is the key to all success, especially in our relationships. We, as Christians, need to hear and listen to Jesus’ voice. When we ignore the promptings of the Holy Spirit and chart our own selfish course, we’re disobedient, we sabotage our personal success, and people around us feel that and see it. It boils down to this: The quality of your relationship with others will always be tied to the quality of your relationship with God.
READ v. 11. Have you ever met a person who claimed to be a Christian but forgot to tell their face? Week after week this person comes to church with a scowl on his face and makes a beeline to his seat. That’s the definition of an oxymoron. Their actions contradict what they claim to be.
Living in Christ should produce joy in the heart. Obeying Jesus’ commands aren’t a grim exercise. It shouldn’t be a burden. It’s quite the opposite. Jesus says again in v. 11. READ. So, now I ask you. Is the joy of Jesus inside you? If so, the submission to Christ isn’t a road of misery, but actually a road to freedom. Just think about it. When you discover your debts are paid and your sins have been erased, you walk with a much lighter load and a joy in your heart.
C.S. Lewis is an accomplished Christian writer. Many don’t know though that C.S. Lewis was once an atheist. He was deeply wounded by his mother’s death so he drifted away from God. But occasionally he would feel this little glimmer of joy come over him.
He came to realize that those pokes at his heart were the touches of the Holy Spirit, whispering God’s love. He was still very resistant. But one night he says the crusty shell of atheism began to crack. He wrote, “That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me….I gave in and admitted that God was god and knelt and prayed that night—perhaps the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.”
God continued to work on Lewis, soon calling him to a personal relationship with His Son. In Jesus, Lewis found the fullness of joy and spent the rest of his life writing about it.
READ v. 12. Did you notice from that verse that once the love of Jesus is dwelling inside you, it can never be bottled up. The love of Christ must flow in and out of you. The gift of Christ’s love came with this instruction—share it! We’re commanded to love the people around us the same way Jesus has loved us. Do you? We’ve received this precious gift of God’s love and grace and we’re not to hoard it, but, instead, we’re to give it to others. Can you begin to see how this would greatly enhance any relationship.
And Jesus commanded us to love people in the specific way that He loved us. How did Jesus show His love? He gave. He forgave. He pardoned. He was gracious, kind, merciful, sacrificial and intentional. He loved on purpose. When you love people the way Jesus does, you begin to break down their defenses. Even the crusty shell of cynicism can begin to crack as others start to open up their messy lives to you.
READ v. 13. And that, Jesus did. He called us his friends. He laid down His life for us. Little did the disciples know that, even as Jesus taught them how to love, this would be lived out in their life. In the years that followed, those in Jesus’ inner circle would sacrifice all for their Savior.
James was executed with a sword because of his commitment to Jesus. All the disciples except two were executed for their faith. Only John was not but he was imprisoned on the lonely island of Patmos. And Judas killed himself.
The disciples were willing to die as a measure of their love for their leader. These men now showed the supreme level of love by laying down their own bodies. No higher form of love has ever been known. Is that the kind of love you show your friends? OR are you like Joe?
Every year on the afternoon of Mother’s Day, Joe makes a dash for the nearest convenience store in search of a last-minute card. With only three lame cards left in the rack, he’s forced to buy the cartoonist card that he has jammed awkwardly inside the wrong sized envelope. In spite of this, Joe soothes his conscience by thinking, “Hey, at least I made an effort.”
This example raises a question. What is the least amount of energy required to pay the bill of love? How much does a person have to pay to expect good relationships with those around them?
Well let me tell you, friends. Jesus set the price high, defining the love that He was talking about by offering the supreme sacrifice. The best way to build a relationship isn’t by offering clearance cards that cost less than loose change. Instead, the way to build a relationship is often through pain and suffering.
How much pain are you willing to endure for others? This, many times, is the yardstick that measures your love for them.
READ v. 14. Do you want to be Jesus’ friend? Who wouldn’t want to? Jesus says just do what I command you to do and you will be my friend.
Do your relationships need some refurbishing? Take inventory of the relationships in your life. Ask yourself the hard questions and be honest.
How strong is your relationship with your spouse?
With your children?
How about with your extended family? THE IN-LAWS.
With your friends? (What friends?)
Do ANY of your relationships need work? If so, what would you be willing to pay for better relationships? What sacrifices could you make to advance the lives of these people who are important to you? Yes, relationships take work. They come at a price. Is it important enough for you to work at having a good relationship with others?
Let me give you one small piece of advice. You can take it or leave it. But if you leave it, don’t come crying to me if you refuse to work at it. Here’s my advice:
While it’s sometimes wise to avoid “sweating the small stuff,” this concept shouldn’t necessarily be carried out in relationships. The little things DO matter in your relationships.
A willingness to die for those we love often translates into the daily need to stifle our own self-importance and study the lives of those around us. What does this person need that I can supply? Sometimes it might just be a gentle smile. OR a hug. OR a hand shake. OR just a listening ear.
Could I write a note of encouragement to cheer them up?
Could I provide a meal to fill a belly?
Could I offer a day away from the kids to restore some peace of mind?
You see, love beckons us to pay a price—sometimes large, sometimes small—for the other person.
Do you want a better relationship? Think about one relationship that needs your attention. Now, commit yourself to doing one thing today for this person as a visible display of your love.
And then watch what happens…………
And there is no relationship that is more important than your relationship with Jesus Christ. Do you have one? If not, you can change that today, right now. Go to Jesus in prayer and invite Him into your life and start life anew. Yes, that requires a sacrifice as well.
But it’s a sacrifice that you will never regret. Why not ask Jesus into your heart as we pray.
