What’s my purpose in life? Something inside of us craves knowing our purpose in life. All of us ask this question - Why am I here? Studies show knowing one’s purpose is a powerful source of motivation in life. Get this: researchers have shown that when you stress “why we are doing this” to people, it activates their brain’s reward system. When people know the “why,” researchers have shown that people increase their effort.
2,500 people were asked to analyze medical images for anything that jumped out at them. They were divided into two groups. One group was told that the results would be discarded after they finished analyzing the images. While a 2nd group was told they were searching through the images for “cancerous tumor cells.” Both groups were paid per image examined. Yet, the second group spent more time analyzing each image and earned 10% less on average. Their quality of work was tied to their purpose and they even were willing to earn less money doing so. I loved how they put their findings: “Why we work determines how well we work.”
The Value of Knowing Our Purpose
In nearly every area of life, we perform better when we know our purpose. God wants you to know your purpose in life as a believer in Christ. God Almighty wants you to know your “why.” God tells us our purposes as believers: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Ephesians 4:1).
Stolen Valor Act
You may remember the story of Rick Duncan from a week ago. Rick Duncan claimed to be decorated with a Purple Heart and a Silver Star. He claimed to be in the Pentagon on 9/11. He claimed to be both a captain in the US Marine Corp and wounded in battle while doing 3 tours in Iraq. He claimed to go to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. But Duncan never won a medal; indeed, he never served in the military. And his name isn't even Rick Duncan. Arrested in El Paso, TX, he was investigated by the FBI. He was arrested for violating the Stolen Valor Act. This law makes it illegal for you to falsely claim you are a decorated veteran.
Every veteran deserves better. The value of the Purple Heart should have prevented him from desecrating it. The position is worthy of higher character. Again, the Stolen Valor Act. And if there are those who stolen valor from our military’s heroes, surely you have stolen valor from our Lord.
Hear the words of the Apostle Paul who is pleading with you to walk worthy of your Christian calling: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called…” (Ephesians 4:1).
We should not try to deserve our place in God’s favor. Instead, we should recognize how much our place in God’s favor deserves from us. But how do I do this? How can you please God? How to live my “why”? You can please God with humility and love.
1. Clothe Yourself with Humility
The first step to finding life’s purpose is humility: “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness…” (Ephesians 4:1-2a).
The Bible calls on you to walk in humility. If you’re going to live your “why,” then you are going to need humility. Now, the word humble and human both come from the same Latin word meaning earth (humus). To be human and to be humble is to be down-to-earth, with your feet planted firmly on the ground. The Bible says we were not created from gold dust or diamond dust but common everyday dust. We are made from humble origins.
1.1 Humility Promotes Unity
Oh, that I could get every one of you to adopt humility. Humility not only lives out your “why” but it increases love in your family, your church, and your place of business. If you want unity in your family, embrace humility. If you want unity at your place of employment, embrace humility. And if you want unity in your church, embrace humility.
“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you…” (1 Peter 5:5-6a).
Few things are more destructive to community life than pride and arrogance. Oh, that I could get every one of you to adopt humility.
1.2 The Happiness of Humility
Again, humility is the pathway your purpose in life. Humility is also the pathway to your happiness in life. You may think happiness is fame and fortune. You think happiness is Kim Kardashian who can lay in her mansion and be paid far more than a teacher for tweeting out product promotions. But happiness isn’t found in seven figures. Instead, happiness is found in humility.
1.2.1 Baylor Basketball’s JOY
The NCAA Basketball champion Baylor Bears discovered this fact this past year. It was the first time in the school’s history to be crowned champions. They found their inner power in JOY. Not simply in joy in success or winning but another kind of joy in the journey to winning. Here is how Baylor men’s basketball player, Jared Butler described it: “A culture of JOY is Jesus, Others, and then Yourself, so it’s a hierarchy of the way of thinking… For me, it’s [also] the fact that I get to be here with this group of guys, and it’s joy, it’s fun.” You don’t have to be a college athlete to discover the purpose of life is J O Y – Jesus, Others, You.
1.2.2 JOY
JOY is a practical way to defeat conceit – let’s break it down. Most of the world seeks happiness in the same three-part sequence: 1) Me first; 2) You second; 3) and God last. But lasting joy is found in reversing this: 1) Jesus first; 2) You second; 3) and Me last. Generations of Christians had an easy way to remember this: J O Y – Jesus, Others, You. Again, there is tremendous happiness in humility. And humility is the secret to unity.
1.3 Carbon Monoxide
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness…” (Ephesians 4:1-2a).
Happiness is hard to find because humility is hard to embrace. One of the real problems of arrogance, you’re blinded to the very fact of your problem. New York Times best-selling author David Brooks tells us that Pride blinds us to our weaknesses and makes us think we are better than we are. Pride drives us to prove that we are better than others and makes it hard to be vulnerable before those whose love we need. Pride acts like carbon monoxide. Pride is a silent killer. Pride will destroy you and don’t even know it. Pride hides itself from you – it is odorless.
1.4 Self-Centered Test
Let’s pause, take a moment, and rank yourself. How self-centered are you? How do I know if I am a self-centered person? Think of a group photo where you are included. The first time you see the picture, where do you look? You look immediately at yourself, don’t you? So we need to be very distrustful of ourselves. Do you daydream about winning awards? Wouldn’t you rather be the person who doesn’t need to be honored? “How do I know if I am a self-centered person?” Here’s another test: are you devastated by someone else’s criticism? If you are devastated when someone complains about your looks, your song, or your work, then you probably are placing too much emphasis on your looks, your song, or your work. If you feel snubbed, then your ego is puffed up.
1.5 COMPLETE Humility
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness…” (Ephesians 4:1-2a).
Note carefully your Bible doesn’t say live a life with humility. Instead, it says to live a life “with ALL humility.” There is a little prefix on the word humility in the original Greek where the Bible is calling on you not to live with a dose of humility but with COMPLETE humility. Be completely free your life from arrogance. Don’t say, “I have reduced arrogance.” No, the Bible says, “Be completely free of conceit, hubris, and pride.” Why? Pride in your life is injecting embalming fluid into your life.
1.6 Pride is the Black Hole
Your desire to be recognized is a black hole; it is an itch that will only continue no matter how much you scratch it.
The pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching. If there is an itch, one does want to scratch; but it is much nicer to have neither the itch nor the scratch.
As long as we have the itch of self-regard we shall want the pleasure of self-approval; but the happiest moments are those when we forget our precious selves and have neither but have everything else (God, our fellow humans, animals, the garden, and the sky) instead.”
The ego is a black hole and it doesn’t matter how much you throw into a black hole, you’ll never fill it.
1.7 A Distinctly Christian Trait
Humility is a distinctive trait for Christians. In history’s hourglass, Christians embraced humility like few others. Now, individual Christians haven’t always lived for humility but we have embraced the concept like no one else. Let me explain this. The word for humility means “be of low mind” there in verse 2. And only the Christians thought it was something good and worth pursuing. The outside secular world of the New Testament thought humility was something only slaves needed. Humility was despised and shameful. You didn’t pursue humility; instead, you ran from humility. And then Jesus came along in history and He said, “I am gentle and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29). Humility was despised in the ancient Greco-Roman world as a slave-like quality. But it was uniquely embraced by those who love Jesus Christ.
Why is this? Why do Christians embrace humility?
1.8 The Road to Recovery
Because we know the road to self-discovery starts with God. Genuine humility begins with a relationship with God for you really cannot know yourself until you have seen the face of God. There’s a story I love to tell about Traci’s grandfather, Otis. Otis was a good man and WWII vet and I was on the phone with him when Hurricane Rita hit Houston. Traci and I were living in the Panhandle of Texas when he asked, “Are you going to be fine?” I paused to consider what he was talking about because everything was good for our family when I realized he was concerned for our safety because of the Hurricane. It’s then I told him that we were as close to Houston as we were to him in Western Kentucky – both places were around twelve hours by car. The hurricane may have been in my state but it was just as close to us as he was 5/6 states away. Yet, you would not really know this until you’ve driven around in Texas. It’s not until you have witnessed the vastness of Texas that you comprehend just how big Texas is. This is how it works with humility. You’re not going to possess humility until you are awakened to the reality of the God of the Bible.
Abraham, the father of faith learned this. It was when Abraham really conversed with God that he gained a much richer view of himself: Abraham answered and said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes.” (Genesis 18:27)
Genuine humility begins with a relationship with God for you really cannot know yourself until you have seen the face of God. It’s only when you experience the vast holiness, justice, and wisdom of God that you realize you possess nothing and you are nothing by comparison.
1. Clothe Yourself with Humility
2. Show Love to One Another
To promote unity, the Bible calls us to add love to humility and meekness: “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…” (Ephesians 4:2).
We are seeking to make our lives count. We are seeking to know our “why” in life. God calls on us to embrace humility and love. Now, it is difficult to overstate the importance of love or our need for love. Love is the third most frequently searched-for word in Webster’s online dictionary.
2.1 Love is a Verb
We all know love is a roller coaster of emotions. Love is a roller coaster of emotions because it opens you up like no other emotion. Love is intricately emotional because love exposes our true selves as so few other things can. Love is not less than a feeling, but it is much more than a feeling. There are fifteen Verbs used to describe love in the original language of the New Testament. There are fifteen verbs for love but not one adjective in the New Testament for the word love. Let me repeat this: there are fifteen verbs for love but not one adjective in the New Testament for the word love. As you know a verb is a word that oftentimes describes an action. You may not love grammar, but the point is this: love is not static; love is not stationary. And whenever you see real love, it is always on the move. Real love is always in action.
2.1.1 Love in Action is Jesus
What makes a Christian a Christian is that you have met love. Love came in a manager to rescue us from ourselves. Love came to a cross at Easter and first died and then Love arose from the grave. Love walked many miles in between the first Christmas and the first Easter. Love healed the blind. Love cleansed lepers. Love taught in parables. Love gave hearing to the deaf (Mark 7:31-37) and Love feed the multitudes (Mark 6:30-44). And all the while Love pursued rebels. Love chased you down and He captures you with His grace. Love isn’t a concept; instead, Love is a Person. There was One person who portrayed this kind of love – Jesus Christ.
Christ loves you with a loyal, enduring love that you’ve always wanted. Before love is a behavior in a Christian, love is an experience for the Christian. Love is something you met before you do it.
2.1.2 Loved for Who You Are
There are two things I know are true about you. First, everybody in this room wants to be loved not for what you can bring but for who you are. You don’t want to be loved for the gifts you give or the work you do. You do not want to be a tool. You want to be loved for who you are.
Second, everybody in this room wants to be loved permanently. You want to experience an enduring love. None of us want to experience a temporary love. Again, you want to be loved as you are. And even though this is what we want, we ourselves don’t do this! We often love people temporarily and for what they do for us. We demand and expect love from others, but we ourselves cannot love others to meet our own demands.
2.2 Love Combined with Humility
When you are a self-absorbed person, real love runs from you. Real love hides from you and conceals itself from you. Getting your hands on love for the arrogant is like holding water in your bare hands.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
The Greeks called arrogance hubris, meaning you had too high a view of yourself. Again, when you are a self-absorbed person, real love runs from you. Humility attracts love while hubris repels love. Call it swagger, boasting, bragging, ego, arrogance, or simply being full of yourself… but for you to experience real love … for you to find the essence of love … you must first diminish.
2.3 Why It’s So Hard
Again, Paul says, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…” (Ephesians 4:2).
Why is this so hard? Why is love like this so elusive? Have you ever wondered, “Why is it so hard to be patient and kind and consistently loving with your family?” Despite your best efforts, we blow up at them. We all want love but it’s so hard to really give the amount of love someone else needs. We all want love but it’s so challenging to give the consistency of love someone else wants. We can do it spurts but then we fail them.
2.3.1 Selfishness
Whether it is in the field of music, an athletic team, or even in the church, the greatest obstacle to your lasting happiness is your selfishness. Paul says take a teaspoon of humility and add a pound of love for great relationships. Love and humility tag team to counteract the selfishness that it’s all of us.
2.3.2 John Cusack and Rob Reiner
Again, we all want love but it’s so hard to really give the amount of love someone else needs. We all want love but it’s so challenging to give the consistency of love someone else wants. In Woody Allen’s 1994 movie, Bullets Over Broadway, we meet the main character who is played by John Cusack. Cusack has a long-term relationship with his girlfriend when an opportunity for an affair presents itself. Struck with a moral dilemma, he asks his good friend, played by Rob Reiner, what he should do. Cusack says to Reiner that he wants the affair but he doesn’t want to feel guilt from the affair. Reiner encourages him to go through with the affair saying guilt is passé. Cusack goes through with the affair and doesn’t tell his girlfriend. A few minutes later in the movie, Cusack finds out that his girlfriend is also having an affair on him. He is enraged as he confronts her with the affair all the while leaving out what he is doing. As he flies off the handle in rage, he asks who she is having the affair with. She responds that her secret lover is Rob Reiner, the very man who encouraged Cusack to have his affair. We demand a love from others and we are too weak to meet our own demands.
2.3.3 Sin In Us
Why is this kind of love so hard? We are not honest with ourselves. Most of us know ourselves to be guilty of sinS. We don’t have a problem admitting that we’ve committed sins (plural). Here we mean that we have isolated little mistakes in an otherwise pretty good life. Sin is in us and not on us.
Listen, my believing friend, you are more than your sinful nature. Friend, the Spirit Himself first regenerates you by giving you a new nature. Then the Spirit renews you and empowers you to obey God’s commands. The Spirit rises up within you to create within you a hunger for God. You have a passion for God and for good. You have new instinctual nature for living a holy life. Again, you are more than your sinful nature.
Conclusion - The Gospel: The Fix to Messed-Up Egos
Again, everybody in this room wants to be loved not for what you can bring but for who you are. Everybody in this room wants to be loved permanently. You do not want to be a tool. And you want to experience an enduring love. None of us want to experience a temporary love. Again, you want to be loved as you are. But how is this possible when we are all Rick Duncans? How can we experience this other-worldly love when we are people who have stolen valor and worse? We are all fake and frauds and we want to be loved despite this. Here’s how the gospel has the advantage to say, “You need more self-esteem.”
The gospel says you’re accepted based on Christ’s work on the cross. The gospel says you are rewarded for Christ’s behavior and not yours. The answer to your inflated ego is the cross of Christ for it’s at the cross that your performance matters less than you think. The cross is Christ loving you all the while He knows everything dastardly thing you’ve ever done.
