Fights between brothers and sisters are common and often can be humorous. I collected a few stories that highlight just how funny sibling rivalry can be.
One young girl with two brothers who were around ten years older than her, taught her the alphabet in this order, “A,B,C,D,R,F,K.” It wasn’t until she arrived in kindergarten that she realized how her brothers had purposefully misled her.
Another sister reflecting on her childhood, remembered she used to bite her own arm and then start crying. All this was done in order to blame her brother. She recalled the whole experience by saying, “Sweet victory!”
Still another brother remembered the mischief he caused his sister: “When I was probably 7 or 8 [years old], my brothers and I thought it would be funny to tell my sister that the jalapeños in the garden were pickles and have her eat one.”
Last one, one sister told the story of the time when her boots were stuck in the mud: “When I was about five years old, I got my boots stuck in deep mud and [I] couldn’t move. After [she] unsuccessfully attempting to pull me out, my sister walked home to get help. I waited in the rain [and the mud] for an hour and no one came, so I pulled my feet out of the boots and walked home barefoot. When I got home I found my sister watching TV. She had apparently forgotten about me.”
Sibling rivalry can be humorous and even hilarious. Maybe you have your own stories. But envy between family members can be especially ugly.
The Sin of Envy
This morning I want to talk to you about the deadly sin of envy. We continue a seven-week series of sermons devoted to the Seven Deadly Sins. Now, you’ll NOT find a place in your Bibles where the seven are outlined in a “1, 2, 3” kind of order. Instead, these were problems many ancient Christians had when they lived in close quarters with one another.
Now all sin is deadly, but these seven are some of the biggest problems we can find in ourselves. A week ago, we looked at pride, the mob boss of toxic behaviors for families. And today, we explore the problem of envy. Envy is when I resent you for your success. Envy will rot your insides, the emotional walls of your heart.
Some of our greatest novels have feature sibling rivalry. Think of John Steinbeck’s East of Eden for a moment you will realize how a story of rivalry between siblings is powerful.
As we jump into the story of Numbers 12, the people of Israel have been cooling their heels at Mount Sinai for approximately one year. Our story comes around 1,400 years before Jesus, and it is finally time for Israel to leave for their next step toward the Promised Land. We are going to see a family squabble, and how remarkably unhealthy we can be, even if we follow the Lord.
Today’s Scripture
“Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman. 2 And they said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?” And the Lord heard it. 3 Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth. 4 And suddenly the Lord said to Moses and to Aaron and Miriam, “Come out, you three, to the tent of meeting.” And the three of them came out. 5 And the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud and stood at the entrance of the tent and called Aaron and Miriam, and they both came forward.
9 And the anger of the Lord was kindled against them, and he departed. 10 When the cloud removed from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, like snow. And Aaron turned toward Miriam, and behold, she was leprous. 11 And Aaron said to Moses, “Oh, my lord, do not punish us because we have done foolishly and have sinned. 12 Let her not be as one dead, whose flesh is half eaten away when he comes out of his mother’s womb.” 13 And Moses cried to the Lord, “O God, please heal her—please.” 14 But the Lord said to Moses, “If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be shamed seven days? Let her be shut outside the camp seven days, and after that she may be brought in again.” 15 So Miriam was shut outside the camp seven days, and the people did not set out on the march till Miriam was brought in again. 16 After that the people set out from Hazeroth, and camped in the wilderness of Paran” (Numbers 12:1–5, 9-16).
The two main characters in the book of Numbers are the LORD and Moses; but from the human side, Moses dominates the story. Moses is God’s appointed leader, the lawgiver, and the great mediator between Israel and their God.
I want to lay three truths on your hearts to strengthen your families in the area of envy.
1. The Green-Eyed Monster … Beware
Envy can be a powerful force in our lives. All of us are embarrassed to admit we have experienced it at one time or another. Envy inside sibling rivalry only makes things doubly challenging - as with our story. Moses’ siblings had two problems with their brother. First, they didn’t care for his wife. And second, they didn’t like Moses’ elevated role. As this narrative shows, envy can quickly kill the harmony of your family.
1.1 Examples of Envy
Envy comes in many shapes and forms. Envy is when I am not satisfied with what God has given me.
Envy is strong when one child does all the caring for their aging parents while the other brothers and sisters do little. The one with all the responsibility is envious of their friends’ and family’s free time.
I remember as a young high school student seeing upperclassmen wearing their letter jackets. How I wanted to have all those patches on my letter jacket! Envy is when I resent you for your success.
1.2 Defining Envy
Where greed wants more, envy wants what someone else has. Envy is that “deep down” green feeling that’s triggered when someone else achieves what you want or has what you think you deserve. It is when I resent your success or the feelings of pleasure I have when a rival is defeated. Someone has called envy the least enjoyable of the Seven Deadly Sins. Envy arrives at the doorsteps of every single one of us.
1.3 Quick Biblical Survey of Envy
Envy led Joseph’s brothers to sell him into Egyptian slavery, all because Joseph was his father’s favorite child (Acts 7:9).
It was King Saul’s envy of the young, successful warrior David that was stirred when the young ladies of the day sang, “Saul has stuck down his thousands and David his ten thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7b).
The psalmist Asaph admits to envy: “For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (Psalm 73:3).
And it’s for this reason the Bible tells us: “Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways …” (Proverbs 3:31).
Yes, you can nearly lose your faith when you are envious of fools. In fact, the Bible tells us: “Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day” (Proverbs 23:17).
The Bible places the vice of envy right alongside – “nose to nose” if you will – such serious evils such as drunkenness and even orgies (Galatians 5:19–22). In fact, the chilling warning of the Bible against envy warns, “…envy makes the bones rot” (Proverbs 14:30b).
1.4 Pilate Recognized Envy
Now, the Bible tells us Pilate knew it was envy that led the religious leaders to deliver up Jesus to His death (Matthew 27:18). “For he knew that it was out of envy that they had delivered him up” (Matthew 27:18). Pilate knew men. Remember, you don’t become a Roman governor by falling off a turnip truck. Pilate listened to every accusation and to every witness. His conscience told him that Jesus was delivered up because these religious leaders envied His success, His popularity. Envy is so evil it can even deliver up the Son of God to be crucified. Did you know envy is that evil? We have to keep a close eye on envy for it’s no little sin. No, envy is nefariously wicked.
1.5 Two Reasons of Envy
Now, Moses’ brother and sister waged a war of envy over the elevated role God had given Moses. Now Miriam is taking the lead here. It’s obvious that that she’s “Batman” and Aaron is “Robin” here. And she’s upset about two things. First, her brother married a “Cushite woman” and second, she doesn’t like Moses’ special, elevated role. This story goes further than a simple sibling squabble because Aaron is the nation’s high priest and Miriam is a prophetess (Exodus 15:20). This is a clash of titans that threatens to split the very nation of Israel at early stage.
1.6 Moses’ Sister
Miriam had a lot going for her. You remember she was the one who saved baby Moses. Yes, she kept a careful eye on the baby Moses when their mother placed him in the river Nile in defiance of Pharaoh’s order of killing all Hebrew children. Then she arranged for their mother to care for Moses as his nanny when the Pharaoh’s daughter rescued him (Exodus 2:1-11). And next, we discover Miriam leading the nation in a song of victory celebrating God’s righteous power when they all crossed safely through the Red Sea (Exodus 15:20-21). So here is a leader of women for Moses’ day, a leader of the choir if you will!
1.7 Moses’ Wife
“Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman” (Numbers 12:1).
It’s hard to know for sure what is happening here, but it’s possible Miriam may have been criticizing the color/race of Moses’ wife. If this is a second wife for Moses (and we’re not sure of this), and if she’s different than his wife from Exodus 2, then this marriage is possibly to a black lady. She was from Cush, a country along the Nile to the immediate south of Egypt, in what is now the modern country of Sudan. This would likely be the ugly sin of racism.
1.8 More Examples of Envy
Envy is the problem of the rich and the poor, Democrat and Republican, and envy is the problem for every color of skin. It’s is an equal opportunity employer. We envy because of our insecurities, wouldn’t you agree? We envy because our pride is wounded. Now, envy digs the mud that jealousy will throw at your success. It’s the emotion we feel when someone else gets something we don’t feel they deserve.
Look at our story again: Aaron and Miriam spoke against their brother, Moses. Envy can poison the harmony of your family.
1.9 Moses’ Special Place
Now, everything about the wife was probably nothing more than smokescreen for the real problem in verse 3: “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also” (Numbers 12:3)? Here was the real issue for they were challenging Moses’ position and authority.
Listen carefully to God’s opinion of His servant Moses: “And he said, “Hear my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the Lord make myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream. 7 Not so with my servant Moses. He is faithful in all my house. Now whenever you ascend the leadership ladder, you climb up both in terms of privileges but also in terms of greater responsibility (James 3:1). With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the Lord. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses” (Numbers 12: 6-8)?
God says, “I have no one else like Moses! He’s in a league of his own!” Remember that this high praise is from none other than the voice of God Himself! Here is sibling rivalry that threatens the very early foundations of the nation of Israel and all that God is doing to redeem His people.
Envy kills the harmony of your team, your marriage, and your family! There’s no room in a marriage for envy. There’s no room in a church for envy. And there can be no room in your heart for envy. For if your heart is a headquarters for envy and hatred then you’ve become a workshop of Satan.
2. The Caring Discipline of God … Look for it.
2.1 The Team Mascot
You may have heard of some college students getting a goat as their team’s mascot. But they had a problem: they didn’t have anywhere to keep the goat.
Some of the college boys said, “Well, he can stay in our room. He can stay in the dorm.”
Somebody said, “But what about the smell?”
“Well,” one of them said,” the goat can get used to that.”
College boys may live in a dirty house — listen to me — but God will not live in a dirty house. Your house is full of envy and pride and you may think, “God’s going to move out.” I’m here to tell you friend, that if you are a genuine of child of God, God will NOT move out. He comes to you to dwell in you forever (Romans 8:6). But while God won’t move out, I’ll tell you what God will do: God will clean house. You’re that house, and God will do a cleansing work in you, if you’re truly His.
2.2 God’s Discipline
God Himself challenges these Miriam and Aaron: “And suddenly the Lord said to Moses and to Aaron and Miriam, ‘Come out, you three, to the tent of meeting.’ And the three of them came out” (Numbers 12:4).
Because of their elevated position, God moved quickly from trial to verdict to punishment. No sooner had God’s presence left the camp, than Aaron and Moses notice their sister’s skin turning white as snow in the matter of seconds (Numbers 12:9-10).
Isn’t it interesting that her complaint about Moses’ wife was probably due to her dark color of skin and now she experiences the immediate judgment of God as her skin is snowy white? God’s punishment is swift and severe and He singles out Miriam as the main culprit.
For the second week in a row, God brings a form of leprosy on one of His own in order to discipline His children: “And the anger of the Lord was kindled against them, and he departed. 10 When the cloud removed from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, like snow. And Aaron turned toward Miriam, and behold, she was leprous” (Numbers 12:9-10). We saw it with our friend, Uzziah, a week ago and now with Miriam. God brings discipline against one of His own: “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
2.3 My Father, the Disciplinarian
Several weeks ago, I was close to my childhood home speaking at the local county fair. I spoke to my former principal while I was there and asked about one of her colleagues, our school’s former Vice-Principal, Mr. Stratco.
Now you need to know in my small 1A high school, Mr. Stratco was in charge of all serious discipline. If you were in trouble, you soon found yourself in Mr. Stratco’s office. He was sort of like Mr. Strickland in the Back to the Future movies. Remember him? Where he always called Marty McFly a “slacker” in the Back to the Future movies?
My Principal asked, “Did you have any run-ins with Mr. Stratco back in your day?”
No way because I was too frightened by my father! If God gave out grades for parents, then my father got an A+ for discipline. But as I think back to my childhood and teen years, do you know what would have been scarier than my father’s discipline? If my father did not care enough about me to even discipline me? If my father had said, “Do what you want to do. I’m too busy.” The only thing scarier that facing the discipline of your parents is to face the indifference of your parents.
2.4 Rattlesnakes
There’s an old story that has circulated for years about a family of wayward members of a small country church. At one time, they were quite active in the church, but had fallen away and had lost interest in the church. They were true backsliders - they were saved, but they had just gotten away from the Lord. The deacons went and talked to the father and his 3 sons, Jim, John, and Sam, about their condition. But no one had any success in convincing them to return to the Lord. One day when all the boys were out in the pasture, a large rattlesnake bit John, the middle son. He became very sick. They called the doctor and after examining him, the doctor said, “There’s nothing that I can do. About all you can now do is just pray.” This father immediately called the small church and asked the pastor to come. He told him of John’s condition. He said, “Pastor, would you please pray for my boy, John?” I want you to listen to this pastor’s nearly comical prayer: “O wise and righteous Father, we thank Thee that in Thy wisdom Thou hast sent this rattlesnake to bite John in order to bring him to his senses. He has not been inside the church house for years and it is doubtful that in all of this time he has even felt the need of prayer. Now we trust that this will be a valuable lesson to him and that it will lead him to genuine repentance. Now, O Father, wilt Thou send another snake to bite brother, Sam, and another one to bite brother, Jim, and a big one to bite the old man. We’ve been doing everything we know for years to restore them, but to no avail. It seems that all of our combined efforts could not do what this one snake has done. So Lord, send us bigger and better rattlesnakes, we pray in Jesus name. Amen!”
2.5 Aaron and Moses Pray
“And Aaron said to Moses, ‘Oh, my lord, do not punish us because we have done foolishly and have sinned. 12 Let her not be as one dead, whose flesh is half eaten away when he comes out of his mother’s womb.’ 13 And Moses cried to the Lord, ‘O God, please heal her—please’” (Numbers 12:11-13).
It’s easy to see how much these three cared for one another. Immediately, both brothers pray for their sister. Aaron confesses his part in the matter. Miriam has leprosy for a week before being restored. I love the fact that these three brothers and sisters were quick to forgive and quick to repent.
Listen to me, grandparents. Listen to me, moms and dads. We all are sinners. Every family is full of sinners, but it’s really important how quick we repent and how quick we forgive. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam were quick to repent and to forgive one another.
I think if you had spoken to Miriam years later, she would have told you how grateful she was for this skin disease – grateful for that 1 week of shame. It went a long way toward correcting Miriam’s envy problem.
The only thing scarier than facing the discipline of God the Father is to face to the indifference of God the Father. Remember, God brings discipline only on those who are genuinely His own: “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Hebrews 12:6). God is a loving Father when He disciplines you for the sin of envy. God cares about you enough to discipline you.
3. The Antidote To Envy … Trust God
Envy makes you look at what you don’t have and in doing so poisons the feelings of enjoyment of what you do have. Envy is when we compare ourselves to someone else and ask, “Why you?” It’s when we hear ourselves wonder, “Why not me?”
3.1 Being Grateful
Let me circle back here at the end to talk to you about the antidote to envy. The antidote to the poison of envy is being satisfied with what God has given you. That’s it! When you are satisfied with what God has given you, you will kill the roots of envy.
Aaron and Miriam needed to say to themselves, “God is our Father and He knows what is good for us. He isn’t keeping the best stuff for anyone else. He’ll provide for my needs. He knows more about what I need that I do.” The antidote is as simple as it is powerful - trusting God in every area of our lives. God is a good Father and He will not withhold any good gift from any one of His children.
Would that Miriam only stopped to consider all the good gifts God had given her! Remember Miriam rescued the baby Moses: He was alive only because of her actions.
If Moses ate steak while she ate grub worms as a slave in Egypt, it was because she saved him and nursed him to his elevated position. Moses’s education and leadership skills were due to his sister’s heroic actions. Why wasn’t she grateful to God for the part she was allowed to play in the redemption of Israel? God is a good Father and He will not withhold any good gift from any one of His children.
Are you a child of God? Have you trusted God’s Son for the forgiveness of your sins? If so, then be grateful for the good gifts God has given you.
3.2 Beware of Discouragement
I want to warn every believer about a trick Satan plays on us - watch out for discouragement. There’s an old fable that says that, one day, the devil was auctioning off his tools, but there was one tool marked “Not for Sale.” And, he was auctioning off fear, and he was auctioning off hatred, and pride, and envy, and lust. But there was a strange looking tool there that was well worn.
And, somebody said, “Why is that not for sale?”
The old devil said, “I can’t afford to sell that one. That’s my most valuable tool. That’s discouragement.”
He said, “It’s so worn, because I use it often to slip in. And, when I pry a man’s heart open with discouragement, then I can do almost anything I want to do.”
Satan can do more with discouragement than he can with any tool. Discouragement has always been one of Satan’s best tools. Few things led to discouragement like envy. Envy and discouragement are pry-bars in the hands of Satan to crack open the doors of our hearts so that a thousand other sins rush in!
I remember how a pastor from my youth used to say, “The old devil is the sinister minister of discouragement” (Adrian Rogers).
The antidote is as simple as it is powerful: trusting God in all areas of life. God is a good Father and He will not withhold any good gift from any one of His children.
3.3 Conclusion
At the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed: “Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39). Jesus spoke of a cup. It was not a literal cup, but it was a real cup. Jesus was thinking ahead to His death on the cross and He called it a cup. Now what was in that cup? What was it that Jesus was asking the Father to take from Him?
The pollution of sin was in that cup: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Here was the sinless, spotless, stainless Lamb of God, but He is going to be made into sin. Every sin of every believer was placed in this cup for Jesus to drink. Blasphemy settled in His cup. Rape, adultery, sexual perversion settled in His cup. The murder of innocent children by abortion settled in His cup. Drug abuse settled in His cup. Satanic worship and even murder settled in His cup. Pride, lust, and envy settled down inside His cup. And Jesus would bear on behalf of every child of God throughout history. My sin was in that cup.
Yes, the pollution of sin was in that cup. That filthy sin would be put to the sinless lips of Jesus. Let me ask you, is your sin in the cup? Or will you be drinking the cup for yourself?
