Today, I am praying for two families with rebellious children. Children who are now adults and addicted to drugs. These families need hope. I am praying for Breenan, a little preemie baby at a Little Rock hospital. Breenan was born seven weeks too early. I am praying for young newlywed husband whose wife told him this past week that she wants a divorce. I don’t know his name but he is hurting and he needs hope. I am praying for a couple in our church who postponed their vacation plans to be with their family member who has been hospitalized for depression. This family is under a tremendous burden and needs hope. I am praying also for Ed who has stage four cancer. He doesn’t attend our church but a co-worker does and has asked us to pray for him. They need hope.
Today, I want to point you How to Give God’s Best to Others.
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;?let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.?For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil” (1 Peter 3:8-12).
1. Follow the Prescribed Sequence
God wants to change your life. God wants to change your relationship with Him from one of alienation and hostility to… to one of love and reconciliation. God wants to change how you think. God wants to change how you feel. God wants to change what you desire. God wants to change how you work. God wants to change how you act. God wants to change how you love. God is all about changing His children. He delights in changing those who have addiction and bondage into those who in the incredible joy of freedom. He delights in changing marriages that are shattered and filled with suspicion into relationships that are filled with intimacy and trust. He delights in changing self-centered souls into God-centered souls. He delights in taking wounded people and healing them… He delights in taking broken people and mending them… He delights in taking guilty people and forgiving them… He delights in taking cynical people and giving them faith. And depressed people and giving them hope.
He is all about change. But never change as end in itself. The change is always aimed at changing us into the image of His Son: “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy’” (1 Peter 1:13-16). “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9).
Verses 13-16 in this letter mark the first time Peter tells us what to do. What Peter has been doing since 2:13 is to give special words of guidance and teaching and encouragement to various groups of Christians in the churches of Asia Minor. In 2:13–17 he addressed Christians as citizens and told us how to relate to those in authority. In 2:18–25 he spoke to servants and told them how to relate to their masters. In 3:1–6 he spoke to Christian wives of unbelievers and showed them a way toward winning their husbands. And in 3:7 he spoke to husbands about living wisely and considerately with their wives. Yet, before any of these commands, Peter begins this letter by concentrating only on what God has done for us. The first twelve verses contain none of these commands. You must understand this sequence. Because it reflects the very heart of what Christianity is all about. Christianity is first about what God has done and then… and only then is Christianity about what we do.
Behavior Always Follows Grace. Here’s the sequence in 1 Peter. It is because we are His chosen people in verse one …It is because of … “…his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…” (1 Peter 1:3) that we obey. Don’t ever reverse the order. If you do then you will find yourself in legalism. Everything you are called to do and to be is rooted in these first twelve verses.
Since God has given you … “an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you
Because of God's power are being guarded through faith (verse 5)… Since God is refining your faith through the fires of suffering in verses 6 and 7.
Since God enables you to… “rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory…” (1 Peter 1:8). Since God has provided you with salvation that Old Testament prophets want to look into in verse 10…
Lastly, look at “therefore” in verse 13: “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy’” (1 Peter 1:13-16). Behavior Always Follows Grace So none of the character traits that Peter is commanding us to in today’s verses can be done without grace.
2. Common Traits of Christians
Look at what Peter is calling us to do: “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind” (1 Peter 3:8). “For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;?11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11). Peter tells us that certain characteristics consistent with all Christians. And these characteristics are to be lived out in the Petri dish of care groups in Sunday school. If your church involvement is only this big worship service event, there is little chance you are going to have the opportunity to practice these character traits. Notice that verse eight is not five things to do but five things to be. Peter doesn’t give you a “To Do” list but a “To Be” list.
2.1 Unity of Mind
“to be like-minded”, or “united in spirit.” Harmony does not suggest uniformity of thought, as if we had to check our opinions at the door. Rather, it implies that we have a common mindset born of shared kingdom values.
But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Matthew 16:23). “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:5-8). There is a humility to this like-mindedness. So much so that even if I embrace the truth of Christ and His cross in arrogance, I have denied it.
2.2 Sympathy
Sympathy means to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26). People who have true “sympathy” generally do not say, “I know how you feel.” Because since they know how you feel, they also know how unhelpful it is to hear someone say, “I know how you feel.” True sympathy is a fairly quiet, time-intensive, presence-intensive way of being.
When Jon Haley was a boy growing up in Argentina, his family decided to take a vacation to the second largest waterfall in the world which is located between Argentina and Brazil. His family decided to camp above the falls. Unbeknownst to the Jon, that night, something crawled in his right ear. The next day as the family was viewing the Falls from the platform, Jon suddenly felt an excruciating pain in his ear and began screaming bloody murder! The pain was terrible, and there was nothing anyone else could do about it. Fortunately, after a few minutes the pain subsided and I calmed down. But then, an hour later, that terrible pain began again and Jon started screaming once more. This happened every couple of hours over the next day, so his parents finally had to take him to the nearest hospital. Jon’s mother and Jon went in, while his dad and his twin brother, Mark, stayed in the car. While they were in the examination room, the doctor pulled out his instrument to look inside his ear. To everyone’s amazement the doctor told them, “You’ve got a spider in there!” Turns out that it had been biting his eardrum, and that’s what had been causing my pain. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn’t get the spider out, so after several different attempts finally had to simply kill it and leave it in there! Anyway, as Jon’s mother paid the bill, he got into the car and sat next to his twin brother. Jon writes the following words about the ordeal: “Now, picture the scene. I’ve just gone through a fairly traumatic ordeal for a young boy, and I’m kind of whimpering, trying my hardest not to cry. Next to me is my twin brother, Mark, obviously moved by my pain. Suddenly my dad says to me, ‘You, know, while you were in there suffering, your twin brother was out here crying for you.’ That did it. We both burst into tears!”
2.3 Brotherly Love
“Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God” (1 Peter 1:22-23). “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
When you think of someone in your Sunday school, think of them not as a distant person but in the inner circle. Don’t view each other as strangers, or as mere acquaintances, or as distant relatives. View each other as close family. Harsh words are spoken in families. If you accumulated all of the means words and all of the mean and insensitive things that are said in families… It’s the words that a husband said to a wife and a parent said to a child. What an awful tape that would make! And yet we are together. Family can have some pretty serious squabbles and exchange some very harsh words, but only in the rarest cases does the family break up over it.
2.4 A Tender Heart
This not a word about conduct first but about your insides—literally, your innards, your belly. The word in Greek is “eusplágchnou” The literal translation of the Greek here means “feel generous in your belly.” Be well-disposed to each other in your deep insides. It’s exactly the opposite of hypocrisy that acts tender and feels malice.
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” (Romans 12:9-13)
2.5 A Humble Mind
Peter begins verse with the mind and now he closes with attention to the mind. “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’” (1 Peter 5:5b). Jesus said: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Peter has learned this the hard way as his pride has been crushed. “For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;?let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11).
2.6 The Tongue
In a lifetime you and I could fill a library with the words we have said. It is estimated that the average person says around 30,000 words every day. Verbal violence that is deliberately calculated to hurt the other person. Oftentimes this is unintentional yet it is done with a callous insensitivity. This is only done to people that we know well (such as spouses & friends) because we have the knowledge to really hurt them. “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless” (James 1:26). “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).
“There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, 19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19). Compare these words to James 3:6: “And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (James 3:6).
Jackie Robinson was the first black major-league baseball player. He was the victim of racial hatred nearly everywhere he played baseball. There were fast balls thrown at his hear and curses and slurs hurled at him from the dugouts and stands. One day, playing at home in Brooklyn, Jackie Robinson made several critical errors. Taunts and jeers FROM THE TONGUE surfaced even from his own fans. Teammate and shortstop Pee Wee Reece surveyed the situation. He walked over to Robinson and placed his arm around his shoulder. Reece simply stood there until the boo’s subsided. The gesture spoke eloquently to the crowd more than any words. Jackie Robinson later said that Reece’s arm around his saved his career. The church should be a place where we have an arm around our shoulders.
Our tongues are a measure of our spiritual health: “You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Whatever is in the heart will come out. Our words are like Zip-lock bags and when the seal is broken, the heart is revealed.
3. Don’t Seek Revenge
A man who allegedly schemed to have a baby with his wife and then kill the infant to exact revenge against her for not comforting him after his father’s death. Ronald Shanabarger, a 29-year-old tire factory worker, allegedly confessed to police that he held a grudge against his then-girlfriend for not cutting short a vacation cruise to comfort him when his father died in October 1996. “Shanabarger said he planned to make Amy feel the way he did when his father died. He married her, got her pregnant, allowed time for her to bond with the child, and then took his life” His wife, who had been working at her cashier's job, discovered the boy dead in his crib. Initially it was thought that Tyler died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. But Shanabarger, apparently haunted by the sight of his son’s lifeless face, admitted after the funeral that he had murdered the boy. How is a mother and a family to do with such behavior.
Peter has spoken of trials since the very beginning of his letter (1 Peter 1:6). One of the trials we go through is the desire for revenge when we are wronged. Part of why Unforgiven (1992) and Braveheart (1995) received Academy Awards for Best Picture was that so many could identify with the desire to get even. “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing”
(1 Peter 3:9). “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).
If you want to know your calling in life, here it is in two texts of 1 Peter (2:21 and 3:9)—to endure unjust suffering patiently and to bless those who do you evil and revile you. That’s our calling. That’s what Sunday school exists for—to help each other become a people who live that way for the glory of Christ who lived and died that way. Peter isn’t the only one to say this. Paul said it this way: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them… Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:14, 17-21).
Lastly, Jesus said the same thing: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same” (Matthew 5:44-47)?
We see how the last part of verse 9 fits in—that crucial last phrase. When Peter says in verse nine, “bless, for to this you were called,” and he adds, “that you may obtain a blessing” — when he says that, he shows that our blessing others is one of the conditions we fulfill so that we inherit our blessing in the age to come. It’s the same as Jesus' beatitude, where he says, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” Showing mercy to others is a condition for the great final receiving of mercy from God.
4. You Are Not Alone
“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil” (1 Peter 3:12). Richard M. Nixon served as the 37th president of the United States. He was a polarizing figure who won the presidential office by a landslide and then later resigned in disgrace just twenty-one months late in his second term. His disgrace culminated with the Democratic party getting their man, Jimmy Carter, into the White House. The victory of the Democrats came about because they learned of attempts where their conversations were to be “bugged.” Watergate occurred on June 17, 1972 when five men attempted to break in to the Democratic national headquarters in Washington’s Watergate complex. The men were arrested, after police were notified by an alert security guard, as they were in possession of cameras and electronic surveillance equipment. They were suspected of attempting to tap the telephones there in order to gain the upper-hand on the Democratic campaign. When the Democrats realized that President Nixon among others was attempting to “bug” their conversations, that is they were listening in on their conversations, in an attempt to win the election. We need to learn a lesson from Watergate. If we are going to win the battle of mastering our Mouths, it will come when we realize that God is “bugging” our conversations.
Listen to the words of Jesus: “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37).
