We are discussing marriage, singles, and God’s instructions for each throughout this series. To the married, I have two goals for the series:
1) to convince that great marriages begin with a picture of God’s definition of marriage – Christ and His church;
2) to challenge you to do whatever it takes to achieve a great marriage in order to call people’s attention to the ultimate great marriage – Christ & His Church
Do we control our destiny or do unseen forces manipulate us? That’s the question behind this past Friday’s new release, the movie The Adjustment Bureau. The Adjustment Bureau is described as a romantic science fiction thriller featuring movie star Matt Damon. Damon plays a charismatic politician running for the United States Senate. On the campaign trail, he falls in love with a free-spirited ballet dancer. His pursuit of her is interrupted as he arrives to work one day only to see his boss frozen. As the boss sits motionless behind a large table, he is examined by strange men wearing suits. The men wearing suits tell Damon they have a plan for his life, a plan strategically devised by someone they call “The Chairmen.” Their plan does not include falling in love with the ballet dancer. Throughout the movie, they chase him wherever he goes. They are determined to guide his life according to “The Chairman’s” plan. Damon is equally determined to follow his passion for the young girl. As they work to separate the two, Damon searches for years to find her again. Do we control our destiny or do unseen forces manipulate us? While no such person as “The Chairman” exists, the Bible portrays a kind, loving heavenly Father who exercises control of a believer’s life according to His wise plans. We’ll return to this question is a few moments.
Today’s message is intended to cause you to relax. I preach for the purpose of giving you rest from your concerns. I preach also for the purpose of causing you to be alert to the big purposes of God. But for now, let’s read today’s Scripture text.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. 21 Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God” (1 Corinthians 7:17-24).
We find ourselves in 1 Corinthians 7 as we exploring the various avenues of marriage and singleness. These verses seem to have little connection to the topic of marriage and singleness. They seem to have little to do with anything Paul’s been discussing before.
1. Your Conversion is Your New Axis
Scientists tell us that the earth has an axis. It’s this axis, or this fixed point, that our planet spins around. The earth’s axis is an imaginary line that runs from the North Pole to the South Pole. Our lives have certain axes points. Your birth or if you were married certainly are axes points. Your children’s birth is a high point. Perhaps you’ve graduated from college. All of these are critical turning points in your life. But when you consider your martial status, the critical axis point is something altogether different. How you define your life’s axes points is critical. Some axis points will cause you deep unrest. While other axis points will give you rest.
For example, some single ladies are deeply concerned about marriage. WHO WILL I MARRY? This question burns their psyche from when they put their makeup on in the mornings until they update their Facebook status at night. If life’s stresses could be measured in terms of the nation’s defense readiness condition (DEFCON), then issues of marriage and singleness cause many to heighten their tension to warlike levels. The Department of Defense lowers the DEFCON rating as nations approaches war. “Who you will Marry?” or “Should I Marry?” is a question that causes a lot of sleepless nights.
Are you stressed by your marriage?
Are you stressed by being single?
Are you stressed by your daughter’s singleness?
Are you at DEFCON 2 because you are not married and your already 30?
There is another axis point that can give you rest from your stress. Let me show you it in today’s text.
A quick read of today’s passage shows Paul uses the word “call” nine times. For example look at verse seventeen: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him” (1 Corinthians 7:17).
Or, look at verse 24: “So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God” (1 Corinthians 7:24).
Christians often use the word “calling” as way to express God’s choice of what we are to do with our life. Oftentimes, it is a synonym for the career choices God has laid down for us. I am a pastor. You maybe a housewife and real-estate agent. This is what God has called us to do. The Bible teaches this but today’s passage uses the word differently that this. Oftentimes when the Bible uses the word “calling” it refers not to God’s plan for your life but the divine voice, which draws you to Christ. It’s the Holy Spirit’s pull for you to believe in Jesus Christ. You can see this more clearly in 1 Corinthians 1:9. “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:9).
Or just a little later in the first chapter: “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29).
The call is the power of God that comes to a person to be born again. Paul is using the word almost as a synonym for your conversion. You can see the meaning of this by reading verse eighteen again:
“Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised” (1 Corinthians 7:18a)? Concentrate on the word “call.” Paul is asking were you circumcised when you were converted? Or, “What was your state when you responded to silent draw of the Holy Spirit that drew you to conversion? It’s not obvious in reading the Bible here but Paul is dealing with the intersection of your faith and your marital status.
It’s “Ask the Pastor Day” in Corinth and Paul is responding to their questions. Who Should I Marry? Should I Stay Married? How Can I Have a Successful and Happy Marriage? Are Singles Second-Class Citizens in the Church? Will I be Single Forever? My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful, What Should I Do? Christianity has come to the ancient of city of Corinth. Their experience of being born again has caused questions. “Now that I am a Christian,” the Corinthian Christians were asking, “should I abstain from sexual relations with my wife?” (see 1 Corinthians 7:1). “Now that I am a Christian,” the Corinthian Christians were asking, “what if one married partner places their faith in Jesus Christ and the other does not?” (see 1 Corinthians 7:12 and following). These early believers in Corinth were on to something: a fundamental change occurs when you become a follower of Christ. This fundamental change is inside of a person. And Paul responds to these questions by replying, “stay where you are when you were converted.” Paul’s point is not slavery or circumcision. These are convenient handles to display a larger truth. He illustrates his point by referring to slavery and circumcision, two of the chief social distinctions of the day. Here’s Paul’s point: a disciple’s outward circumstances are not the steering wheel of his/her life.
A person’s martial status is not your axis. The corner office is not your axis point.
When they ask Paul, “Should I become single in order to better follow Christ?” Or another asks, “Should I marry in order to better follow Christ?” Paul replies to both questions with a “no.” He says in effect, “Don’t lower your DEFCON status simply because you think you’re married to the wrong person.”
He says it three times: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him” (1 Corinthians 7:17a). “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called” (1 Corinthians 7:20). “So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God” (1 Corinthians 7:24).
Don’t desert your marriage and Don’t hurry up to be married. Relax. Lower your stress over such questions. Your martial status doesn’t improve your relationship with God. Marriage to Christ doesn’t entail marriage to another. You know “Now that I am a Christian” is a significant question to all aspect of our lives. What is critical to see when reading this text is how important than conversion was to these ancient Corinth Christian. Being Born Again is the definitive axis point for a life. Where the earth’s axis is defined by the North Pole and the South Pole, the Christian’s life is defined by “Before Christ” and “After Christ.”
It was Sunday, September 3, 2006 with partly cloudy skies and temperatures in the mid 70s. The heat of summer had been replaced by a perfect day for baseball. More than 40,000 fans agreed as they arrived at what the locals called the new Busch Stadium. It was Buddy Walk in the Park Day, a day when Down Syndrome children went onto the field during pregame ceremonies. And the children were there to see one man: Albert Pujols. Pujols met countless youngsters that day before the game and each one asked him the same question. Take the talkative ten year old who need Pujols to kneel down on one knee so he could ask his favorite hitter his one request. The boy wanted to see Albert hit a home run. Another child soon approached, leaned forward, and spoke into his ear. Yes, it was the same request as the ten year old boy before him. He too, wanted a home run. Although, Pujols was facing the ace of the perennially bottom cellar dwelling, Pittsburgh Pirates, he obliged. He didn’t just hit one home run that day but three. His fourth time at the place saw him hit a long fly ball to deep center where it was caught for an out at the warning track. To call Albert Pujols a great baseball player is understatement. Through age thirty, he has more homers than Babe Ruth… …more hits than Pete Rose… …more RBI’s than Hank Aaron… and more runs than Rickey Henderson at the same age. Yet, if you think Pujols’ axis is baseball, you’d be wrong. In his own words:
People have said to me, “Albert, I would give anything to be able to play baseball like you.” They may look at my abilities and think that being a great baseball player is the goal of my life. Believe it or not, baseball is not the chief ambition of my life. Becoming a great baseball player is important to me, but it is not my primary focus. Because I know the Hall of Fame is not my ultimate final destination. My life’s goal is to bring glory to Jesus. My life is not mostly dedicated to the Lord, it is 100% committed to Jesus Christ and His will. God has given me the ability to succeed in the game of baseball. But baseball is not the end; baseball is the mean by which my wife, Dee Dee, and I glorify God. Baseball is simply my platform to elevate Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
Baseball is not Pujols’ axis.
First, Your Conversion is Your New Axis.
2. Envy is Slavery
Envy is inward resentment when things go well for someone else. Envy is an increaser of stress. Envy makes slaves out of free people. Envy is when you friends comes to you and announces she is engaged and you are not. It’s when your child is chronically sick and the other children are healthy. It’s when you play second-string and it’s all you can do to keep from saying something to kid who plays first string. Although we all experience it, we are embarrassed to admit it. There are so many opportunities for envy. Watch how the Bible combats the desire for envy:
“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches”
(1 Corinthians 7:17).
The Bible combats envy by pointing out that God assigns His people their station in life. Whatever station in life God has placed you, be content to stay there. Your station in life is under the sovereign control of God. God calls you to your station in life. If you are married or single, be content as God has placed you. Obviously the Bible is not saying that if you were in a sinful occupation before your conversion, you should stay in the same job. If you were a drug dealer, God has called you to a new profession.
“Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ” (1 Corinthians 7:21-22).
Each of you should live as a believer just as God has called you. If you are a slave, use slavery to the glory of God. If you are free, use your freedom from the glory of God. Only, don’t allow your freedom or your slavery from derailing your life from the end destination – glorifying God.
I preach today to tell you to relax. Trade in the shackles of slavery called envy. “Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it” (1 Corinthians 7:21a). I preach also to tell you to raise your DEFCON status on how your life is glorifying God. Don’t think retirement will enable you to live for Christ better than working the third shift at Balfour. Don’t believe your Christianity will improve because you are now single.Don’t believe your Christianity will improve because you are now married.
3. The “If Only” Game
Have you ever wondered what you would do differently if you could go back and live your life again? Facebook is causing many people to do just this. When you sign up for an account with Facebook, you are asked to tell what year you graduated high school and where did you graduate high school. Soon, you are connected old love interests whose names and faces you had nearly forgotten. Would you choose the same job? Would you marry the same person? Would you marry at all? Would you live in the same place? same house? Would you choose different friends? Would you have more children? less children? For some, this little mind-game is nothing more than an innocent diversion. They play it for a while and then come happily back to the way their lives really are. For others, however, this is no game.
For some, you are unable to break life’s monotony by toying with this question for a few minutes and then returning back to normal life. For you, you are completely consumed with this question. Your life is forever changed by a slip in judgment? Life has presented you a turn of events that are beyond your control and in direct contrast to your desires. It’s what one author calls the “if only” syndrome.
“If only I had married someone else…”
“If only I had gone to college…”
“If only I had a different job…”
“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches” (1 Corinthians 7:17). There were two ways Paul illustrated his point about avoiding the “if only” syndrome. “Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:18-19)
The first was circumcision. In Roman Corinth, a Jew like Paul would stand out at the gymnasium because of the rite of circumcision. Imagine a teenage Jewish boy competing in the athletic events of first century Corinth. Circumcision was obvious as athletes often competed in the nude. There was a tremendous desire to hide their racial background in order to advance in social status among their peers.
The second way he illustrates how to avoid the “if only” syndrome is slavery.
“Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ” (1 Corinthians 7:17-22).
Don’t fret over slavery; there is a day coming when you’ll be set free. I preach for the purpose of giving you rest from your concerns. Relax. Don’t play “if only” syndrome game. Don’t become envious of the Jones’ next door. I preach also for the purpose of causing you to be alert to the big purposes of God. Lower the DEFCON level when it comes to eternal matters: “You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God” (1 Corinthians 7:23-24).
Former President George W. Bush’s recently released his book, Decision Points. The book includes a story from 1985 about evangelist Billy Graham visiting his family’s Maine home of Bush’s father and mother. With about 30 family members listening, Bush writes, his father asked Graham, “Some people say you have to have a born-again experience to go to heaven. Mother [George W. Bush's grandmother] here is the most religious, kind person I know, yet she has had no born-again experience. Will she go to heaven?” Bush says Graham is reported to have responded, “Some of us require a born-again experience to understand God, and some of us are born Christians. It sounds as if your mom was just born a Christian.” A spokesmen for Billy Graham has said the controversial phrase “isn’t in Mr. Graham’s lexicon.”
Contrary to George W’s words, Jesus said this: “Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, ‘Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.’ Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God’” (John 3:1-3).
