This message was written for a sixteen year old young man who took his life.
The Rogers family had read this verse on Monday evening together the night before Caleb’s passing. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
Prayer
Father,
We praise You above the all things. You are the truest joy and delight of our lives even in the midst of such overwhelming tragedy.
God, we ask that You would give this family peace and comfort. I pray that you cover them with your wings where they will find refuge. Grant them Your presence and may they feel the rich warmth of Your embrace. May the Holy Spirit comfort them as Jesus promised.
Cause their minds to sing praise to you and remind them of Your graciousness in giving them Caleb for these sixteen years. May their conservations be filled with the rich memories of his joy in You. Cause their hope to be renewed and may they mount up on wings like eagles so they will not be weary.
Expand their ministry. Cause them to honor Christ the Lord as holy so they make a defense of the Gospel to anyone who asks them (1 Peter 3:15). May this experience open up opportunities to share Christ’s love for sinners in new venues. May they comfort others who have walked this lonely road (2 Corinthians 1). Give them wisdom to map the days ahead so they live wisely.
Give us wisdom and love for them as they grieve.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Message
Matthew, Susan, Scott, and Alvin – we love you and care for you very much. We are sorry that you are going through this agonizing time of grief. We are deeply saddened by your tremendous loss. There is not one person here who doesn’t wish that we could reverse the events of this past week. We want you to know that you are surrounded by people who are praying for you. To Oakcliffe Baptist Church, on behalf of our entire church, we want you to know that it our joy to minister to you today. We are aware that you are hurting along with your pastor and his family. It’s our prayer that our church and our community can ease your suffering in some small way. Thank you for honoring our church by allowing us to ministering to you at this time. May God be richly merciful to you in your time of grief. Our grief is only heightened when we remember what kind of young man Caleb was. And we were speechless with grief on Tuesday as we heard the news.
Caleb was loved by so many of us. So many people have been sharing fond memories of Caleb over the past few days. Only yesterday, his brother Alvin recalled how Caleb and he were going to eat on a Friday night just this summer and hitting golf balls at the driving rage. As of this morning, I found two groups in memory of Caleb Rogers on Facebook with nearly 1,000 members. I believe I read each of the posts on the wall. Each of one of the posts present there was a testimony to the type of young man Caleb was. His family describes Caleb as a creative songwriter as well as gifted at writing fiction. You could often hear him in his room playing back the music he was writing on his computer. His creative bent caused him to enjoy making movies where everyone laughed together. He enjoyed gathering his friends together for impromptu fun in both making movies and watching them.
Yet, for all of his creative force he was also very disciplined. Caleb would often get his school assignments done much earlier than necessary. This discipline caused him to be detail-oriented and even caused him to think about the military academy as a possible choice for his secondary education. Even small children loved him. As the extended family frequently gathered together, his second cousins would follow him like a Pied Piper. He would build tents with the small children inside the house and allowed them to ride his back. They would build with Lego’s together as the children so loved him that they would rush through their dinner in order to play with Caleb.
Whether he was with family or friends, Caleb was very polite. Someone described each of the three brothers as perfect gentlemen. Scott and Andrew described their brother as witty, with a wonderful sense of humor. He was capable of firing back with a comeback when necessary. Caleb was a good student. As a junior, he remains tied for first place in his class. His father and mother described Caleb’s spiritual life as intense and intimate. They talked about being able to see the fruits of the spirit in him: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).
When others were negative or excessively critical of someone or something, Caleb would say something positive even though he found himself in the same situation the others faced. He was often found reading his Bible alone in his room either early in the morning or late at night. He knew Scripture.
His love for Scripture grew from the family’s time in reading the Bible together around the dinner table. It was here that the children would love to discuss what they discovered in God’s Word alongside their parents. He was concerned about righteousness and hated sin. Scott said that if Caleb thought something was even questionable, he would avoid it. He stayed far away from wrong. Andrew thought so highly of his brother’s spiritual walk that he wished he could emulate his brother’s faith. One of Caleb’s friends, Levi, wrote the following on his Facebook wall: “I always admired your faith you had in Jesus Christ. I always wanted to be as devoted to Him as you were. And that is how I know where you are as I type these words.” In a word, he was deeply devoted to the Lord.
Transition
There is no one word that describes our emotions this past Tuesday. Dismay… Shock… Certainly fear. If we are honest, we feel rocked, overwhelmed, upset and confused. If one were not to feel the knife-edge of this pain, then you would be closer to a stone than a human being. Some react to such tragedy by pulling away from God. When suffering comes, God seems invisible, silent, and far away. Sorrow and confusion broadcast on all the channels when we are hurting. It’s hard to put into words what is actually happening. You might read the answers in the pages of Sacred Scripture but it feels more like reading the phone book than the Bible. Yet, the pain churns inside of you and it is anything but meaningless. Your pain is real.
Please know that without God’s presence and compassion in the midst of such pain you become unglued. In the face of such awful tragedy, many can only surmise that life is meaningless. There are just few answers, if a good young man like Caleb takes his life. When is God is distant from us in our tragedy, we are without hope. Others feel the embrace of God in the midst of their tragedy.
This is closer to how the Rogers’ feel. Surely, the pain is agonizing for you. Yet, you have testified to me that you feel the embrace and comfort of the God in the midst of your struggles. Despite your pain, God is present and He is quelling your fears and dismay. He is not distant. The Bible affirms this. And it is the Bible we turn to in these times. We need bedrock underneath our feet. When tragedy strikes, we need more than the opinions of professionals. No, we need something firm and unshakeable underneath our feet – we need Scripture.
But if God is present, Why Did this Happen? Caleb believed in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. This all-powerful, all wise God made the universe where we are trying to comprehend the answers to such questions. There is good reason to know that we will not fully understand this tragedy. Why? God is infinite and we are finite. God holds galaxies in His hands and we spend a third of our day asleep. He is full of beauty, glory, and majesty while we spend effort, time, and money on make-up, beauty secrets and plastic surgery. “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! ‘For who has known the mind of the Lord,?or who has been his counselor’” Romans 11:33-34)?
Yet, God has given us some signposts. He has not left us totally clueless.
1. The Reason Tragedy Exists is not Because God is not in Total Control
The Bible is overwhelmingly clear that God governs everything in the universe from the smallest bird to the largest storm. This was patently clear as I discussed the tragic events of this week with the Rogers family on Thursday. Each member of the family affirmed that we serve a God who holds hurricanes in His hand. God governs nations as you would manipulate chess pieces: “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord” (Proverbs 16:33).
“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will” (Proverbs 21:1).
“Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it” (Lamentations 3:37)?
“Does disaster come to a city, unless the Lord has done it” (Amos 3:6)?
“Even winds and sea obey him” (Matthew 8:27).
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father” (Matthew 10:29)?
God is not just operating on the macro; He is also involved in the micro. The Bible says that God fought for the Israelites against the Egyptians as Moses led God’s people across the Red Sea. Both the Egyptians and the Jews recognized that God clogged up the wheels of the chariots of the Egyptians (Exodus 14:24-25). “He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him” (Mark 1:27). “I am God, and there is none like me . . . saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose’” (Isaiah 46:9-10).
You may ask, “But what about Satan? Wasn’t Satan at work in Caleb’s untimely death?” And the answer is yes. Satan was tragically at work in the death of Caleb Rogers. Satan is God’s most powerful enemy and he does much evil in the world. Yet, Satan’s involvement does not preclude God’s control. Before Satan does anything, he must get God’s permission. In Job 2:6-7, Satan was granted permission by God Himself to strike Job before anything tragic occurred to Job. When Peter, one of Jesus twelve Disciples, denied Jesus Christ before the crucifixion of Christ, Satan, again, received permission from God to sift Peter (Luke 22:31). Satan is described as a roaring lion in 1 Peter 5. But this roaring lion is a dog on a leash as our Father governs all things everywhere. One day in the coming future God will take Satan by the tail and deposit him into the lake of fire and sulfur (Revelation 20:10). If God is sovereign over all things, including Satan, which He is, then God has a different design than Satan does. When Christians suffer, the devil’s design is destructive pain. But God’s design — in the very same suffering — is constructive purification and holiness and power. The devil aims to devour.
God aims to purify and prepare us for glory. I am aware that this may not sound like good news this morning. It may not sound like good news just three days after Caleb’s death. To know that God is in control of even suicides seems to be horrific news. For many do not want God controlling evil. For to some, this would paint the picture of a sadistic god who is capricious with pain. Instead, the truth that God is in control of even the smallest molecules in the universe is wonderful news. To know God controls all things is precious beyond words. Why?
2. The Reason Tragedy Exists is Because God is For and not Against His Children
So where do we turn in the face of such tragedy? When you son takes his life, what can you do? There is no 911-phone call to fix this. There is no government program or human expert who can fix this problem for us. Who do we turn to? We turn to God. The Scripture is clear. There is no One like God: “Good and upright is the Lord…” (Psalm 25:8). Listen to the richness of God’s love for His children in Romans 8: “‘…For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35-39).
God is rich in is care and love for His people. His mercy, love, and compassion are infinite. Listen to the following passage as this family has asked this would be read.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.?I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.?He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.?You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,?nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.?You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—?the Most High, who is my refuge—?no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.?On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.?You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him;?I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.?With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation” (Psalm 91:1-15).
This passage is especially helpful because it gives us good reasons to hope and not despair. God’s name is referenced three times in the first two verses. The repetition of His powerful name causes us to see an infinitely good God wielding His power on behalf of His children. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:20)
3. The Reason Tragedy Exists is for Christ to Experience Suffering and Death
The Scripture is clear that is by grace we are saved and not by acts of righteousness. Caleb is with Christ not because he was found reading his Bible early and late… Caleb is with Christ not because his father was a pastor… Caleb is with Christ not because of any good acts he did. Caleb is with Christ and is safe because of the good act that Jesus Christ did (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Perhaps it is important for some to hear that while suicide is a sin, suicide in itself cannot keep you from Jesus Christ. Can suicide bring condemnation? “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
The Cross of Christ is the place of hope. It’s the place where tragedy is explained most deeply. The cross is where three roads meet:
1) The world’s tragedy;
2) The Love of God;
3) And God’s Control of everything.
All of three of these meet at the cross of Jesus Christ. Like three roads coming from the corners of the earth, these three meet together outside of Jerusalem at the place called the “Skull.” It was here that Christ died for sinners. It was here that Jesus Christ took on Caleb Rogers’s sin. It was at Golgotha that Jesus Christ became Caleb Rogers’s righteousness. Notice carefully the actions that led to the cross were purposeful and not accidental.
“for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, 28 to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place” (Acts 4:27-28).
All the scheming, all the flogging and beating, the spitting in His face, the beating with rods, the mockery, the abandonment by His Disciples, the thorns on His scalp, the nails in His hands and feet, the sword in his side, the weight of the sins of the world all of it according to God’s plan. For you to see God’s love more graphically. For you to successfully navigate this tragedy you must grasp a glimpse of God and His redemptive plan.
So many people are pointing to tragedy in our day and declaring that life is random and meaningless. The Rogers family is not calling this death meaningless. They remain hopeful in their good and powerful God. They know that there is meaning even in tragedy. They know that God has a redemptive plan. They know Paul’s words in 2 Timothy 1:9: “who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began…” (2 Timothy 1:9). In other words, before there was any world or any sin in the world, God planned saving grace through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. That means that God knew Adam would sin. He was already planning how He would save us.
Therefore Adam’s sin was part of God’s plan so that God could reveal His mercy and His grace and His patience in ways that could have never been revealed, if there were no sin and no Savior and plan of redemption. If you turn to Christ, you will discover in God more wonders in this fallen world than could be imagined.
4. The Reason Tragedy Exits is Because No Pleasure Compares to Knowing Jesus Christ
“I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:8).
Matthew, Susan, Scott, and Alvin, I know you would affirm this verse even in the midst of the most difficult week of your lives:
“Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,?yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.?God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places” (Habakkuk 3:17-19).
Famines, pestilence, persecution and even death — all of these happen so that the world might discover for themselves that God made us for Himself and that He is our “exceeding joy” (Psalm 43:4) and at His right hand are pleasures for every more (Psalm 16:11).
The losses of life are meant to wean us off the poisonous pleasures of the world and lure us to Christ our everlasting joy. Your child and your brother is safe.
“So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:5-8).
In words of the Psalmist, Caleb is now: “Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—?the Most High, who is my refuge—?no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent” (Psalms 91:9-10).
