A. My friend Dan Williams tells the story about a mission trip to Central American that he was on several years ago.
1. He found himself on a bus with other Americans who were also visiting that part of the world.
a. On these kinds of trips, you are often thrown together with fellow travelers, and you tend to talk to your seatmate to see if you have any common connections.
b. Dan couldn’t help overhearing one such conversation that took place between the two people sitting in front of him.
2. The woman was in her late 50’s, rather stylishly dressed, and clearly well-off.
a. The man was in his early 40’s and wore khakis and a polo shirt.
b. The woman asked, “Where are you from?” and the man politely told her.
c. She answered by giving her home town, a city not far from his, and then added, “My husband couldn’t make the trip because of his work. He is a very important man – he is the president of a university and he has a Ph.D.
d. So, do you have a degree of any kind?” “Well, yes,” the man replied, “I have an M.D. I’m a surgeon.”
3. “I see,” the woman answered in a disappointed tone.
a. Then she brightened up and continued: “We just bought a new automobile. It’s a Lexus. So, what kind of car do you drive?” “I drive a Mercedes,” the man replied.
4. There was a long pause, and you could tell the woman was searching for a trump card.
a. Finally she said, “Well, you know, last week we had Senator Smith and his wife over for dinner. I’m sure you don’t know the senator, do you?”
b. The man smiled and said, “You know, that’s really funny. Senator Smith was in our home just 2 months ago – in fact, we held a fundraiser for him. It sure is a small world, isn’t it?”
5. There was another long pause, and you could almost see the desperation in the woman’s face.
a. Finally, she turned back to the man and blurted out: “Well, I’ll bet my home is bigger than yours!”
b. Now, what in the world would make a person say something like that?
c. It’s called the green-eyed monster!
B. You’ve heard of the green-eyed monster, haven’t you?
1. The green-eyed monster has to do with the emotions of jealousy and envy.
2. Shakespeare used that name when he spoke of Othello saying, “Othello fell under the sway of the green-eyed monster.”
3. Have you ever felt the sway of the green-eyed monster? I have!
4. How familiar are you with the emotions of jealousy and envy?
5. Just like with all of our emotions, God has created us with the ability to feel the emotions of jealousy and envy for our well-being.
6. But just like the other emotions, Satan can use our emotions against us and lead us into sin.
C. Jealousy and envy are powerful emotions.
1. Jealousy and envy are commonly used in interchangeably, but they are two distinct emotions.
2. Envy is the desire for someone or something that belongs to someone else – we might envy someone’s looks, their job, their family, their vacations, their skills, their money, etc.
3. Jealousy, on the other hand, is the desire to keep someone or something that belongs to us.
4. Jealousy is the fear that something which we possess will be taken away by another person.
5. Although jealousy can apply to our jobs, our possessions, or our reputations, the word is more commonly used for the fear that the affections of a loved one might be lost to a rival.
6. This is what is meant when the Bible says that God is a jealous God – God rightfully does not want to lose our affections to His rival – Satan – or to any other thing.
7. God has made a covenant with His people, His bride, and God is jealous of our relationship with Him and God experiences pain when His bride is unfaithful (Hosea 4:13-14).
8. While God’s jealousy towards us is righteous, our envy and jealousy is often unrighteous.
D. So, why has God created us with the ability to feel jealousy and envy?
1. Well, if we couldn’t feel jealousy or envy, then we might be oblivious to certain relationships that need to be protected, or lack the motivation to grow and to do our best.
2. Feelings of jealousy should be a signal or wake-up call that a valued relationship is in danger and that steps may need to be taken to shore up that relationship.
3. Feelings of envy can be that wake-up call to rightly evaluate who we are, what we are investing our lives in and what we are building our self-esteem upon.
4. But as valuable and helpful as these emotions can be, they also have the potential of leading to damaging behavior.
5. Unchecked envy and jealousy can poison our spirits and our relationships with God and others.
6. Like poisonous snakes or roaring fires, jealousy and envy are too deadly to play with.
E. The Bible makes it clear that allowing jealousy and envy to control us is destructive in many ways.
1. Both jealousy and envy are on the list of the works of the flesh in Galatians 5.
2. In Paul’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13, envy is considered the opposite of love.
3. James explains that bitter jealousy is not a sign of God’s wisdom and is a catalyst for conflict.
4. Five times in the New Testament, envy is paired with its close companions, and they make up a rough crowd:
a. Romans 13:13 pairs quarreling and jealousy.
b. 1 Corinthians 3:3 pairs envy and strife.
c. Galatians 5:26 pairs provoking and envying.
d. Galatians 5:20-21 links dissensions, factions, and envy (a trifecta).
e. 2 Corinthians 12:20 has an even longer link: quarreling, jealousy, angry outbursts, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.
F. The Bible has numerous examples of people who struggled with jealousy and envy.
1. Jealousy and envy play key roles in driving the drama and causing divisions in several prominent biblical narratives.
2. Cain is our first example.
a. The first murder in the Bible was motivated by jealousy (Gen. 4:1-16).
b. For some reason, Cain’s sacrifice to God was not acceptable, but his brother Abel’s sacrifice was acceptable.
c. God informed Cain that he could change and his sacrifice would be acceptable.
d. But rather than changing, Cain allowed his jealous feelings to lead to murder.
3. Later in Genesis, we come to the well-known story of Joseph’s brothers (Gen. 37).
a. Jacob had 12 sons from 4 different wives, but only 2 were from his favorite wife, Rachel.
b. Jacob gave the special, colorful coat to Rachel’s first born, named Joseph.
c. And as you would expect, this fueled jealousy and envy in his brothers.
d. When you add to the coat the fact that Joseph liked to snitch on his brothers and liked sharing his self-exalting dreams, then you have an explosive situation.
e. Joseph’s brothers allowed their jealousy and envy to cause them to beat their brother and sell him into slavery.
4. A third example of the destructive nature of jealousy and envy is found in the story of Saul.
a. Much of 1 Samuel, chapters 15-31, recounts the interactions between King Saul and the future king of Israel – David.
b. Although Saul had been a good king at first, he soon began to disobey God.
c. So God rejected Saul and his family, and had David anointed to be the next king after Saul.
d. As time progressed, Saul became jealous and envious of David and often tried to kill him.
e. But God protected David, and David waited upon the Lord to carry out His plan.
5. A final example I want to mention is the story of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5).
a. When they saw the generous example of Barnabas, who sold a piece of property and donated the proceeds to the church, they were jealous for the accolades he received for his generosity.
b. Problem was, they didn’t want to be as generous as he was, but they wanted everyone to think they were.
c. So they pretended to donate all the proceeds from the sale of their property, like Barnabas had, but in reality they didn’t donate the whole amount, but kept some for themselves.
d. When individually confronted with their lie, both Ananias and Sapphira refused to confess and each instantly died as a result.
G. Now that we have examined the ways that the emotions of jealousy and envy are both helpful and harmful, a question remains: what do we do with our feelings of jealousy and envy?
1. First of all we need to be aware of our feelings and recognize them for what they are.
a. Recognizing that we are feeling jealous or envious is the first step to using it appropriately and keeping it from being destructive.
2. Second, we need to ask ourselves why we are feeling jealous or envious.
a. There may be a good reason for our feelings of jealousy.
1. There may be a real threat to a relationship, either from a rival or from neglect.
2. On the other hand, our jealousy may have roots in our own low self-esteem, or unwarranted anxiety – which need to be addressed in different ways.
b. And why are we feeling envy toward someone?
1. Are we disappointed with God or with ourselves?
2. Should we be doing more to expand our horizons or possibilities?
3. Or should we work to be more contented where we are and with what we have?
3. Third, we need to go to God for help.
a. Wherever we are allowing jealousy and envy to lead us into sin, we need to repent and ask for forgiveness.
b. And as we experience God’s grace, we can reach out for God’s wisdom and strength to overcome sin and ground ourselves in the Lord.
H. Often during this series, I have mentioned that Satan can use our emotions against us.
1. When we see jealousy and envy rearing its ugly, green head, then we need to realize there is often deception at work.
2. Our enemy wants us to be comparing ourselves with others – which only leads to envy and jealousy because it not only produces a distorted picture of ourselves, it is based on a distorted picture of others.
3. We live in a performance oriented world that presses us into its mold of conformity.
4. We end up feeling that we must compete with others through our position, possessions, and appearance or we face rejection and feel less of ourselves.
5. One of the downsides of social media, including things like Instagram and Facebook is the impression that other people have perfect lives that are far better than ours.
I. This is why it is so important that our minds and our hearts are focused on God, on God’s truths and on the things that God values.
1. In God’s eyes and in His opinion every one of us has supreme value – we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.
2. Each of us is a unique and original creation of God – there has never been a person like you before and there will never be one like you again.
3. Each of us can rejoice in our own uniqueness and we can be secure in God’s love for us.
4. God values and judges the things of the heart, not things like outward appearance, accomplishments or the things we possess.
5. And yet, most of our jealousy and envy is related to things that God couldn’t care less about.
6. Each person is given different skills, talents and opportunities and true growth comes from understanding what these are and utilizing them to bring glory to God and bring good to others.
J. Through jealousy and envy, Satan hinders our ability to see what God has provided in our lives which leads to a lack of gratitude.
1. We can counteract jealousy and envy by cultivating gratitude.
2. The Bible encourages us to cultivate a lifestyle of contentment.
3. Paul wrote: But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out. If we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. (1 Tim. 6:6-8)
4. Hebrews 13:5 says: Keep your life free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for he himself has said, I will never leave you or abandon you.
5. A fascinating study done by Professor Vicki Medvec reveals the relative importance of subjective attitudes over and above objective circumstances.
a. Medvec studied Olympic medalists and discovered that bronze medalists were quantifiably happier than silver medalists.
b. Here’s why: silver medalists tended to focus on how close they came to winning gold, so they weren’t satisfied with silver.
c. Bronze medalists tended to focus on how close they came to not winning a medal at all, so they were just happy to be on the medal stand at all.
6. So let’s count our blessings and be content with them.
7. Let’s notice and savor all the blessings around us from the sunshine to the snow, to family and friends, pets and good books, sports and exercise, jobs and money to live on, transportation and food, and a warm, dry place to live.
a. Of course, let’s not forget our spiritual blessings like: our relationship with God, God’s Word, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the church, and salvation.
b. But let’s not forget to include chocolate and coffee, flowers and flip-flops…see there is no end to these special blessings.
c. And once we begin to notice and appreciate them more, we can thank God for them – He is the gift-giver, the fount of every blessing.
8. Ultimately, contentment is not having what we want, but wanting what we have.
9. Here’s a good proverb: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30).
K. Let me close with this story:
1. Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thayer were both seriously ill and shared a small room in the hospital.
a. The room only had one window, and Mr. Wilson’s bed was next to the window.
b. As part of his treatment, Mr. Wilson was allowed to sit up in bed for an hour every afternoon, but otherwise he had to remain lying down.
c. Mr. Thayer, however had to spend all his time flat on his back.
d. The two men passed much of days talking about their wives, their children and grandchildren, the jobs they had had and places they had been.
2. One afternoon, when Mr. Wilson was propped up for his hour, Mr. Thayer asked him to describe what he could see through the window beside his bed and so he did.
a. After that, their afternoon ritual included Mr. Wilson describing what was happening outside the window, and Mr. Thayer began to live for that hour.
b. The window apparently overlooked a park with a lake where there were ducks and swans, children throwing bread to the birds and sailing model boats, and young lovers walking hand and hand.
c. There were flowers and grass, games of tag and people relaxing in the sunshine.
d. And further away there was a fine view of the city skyline.
e. Mr. Thayer would listen to all of this and enjoy every minute of it.
3. But then one fine afternoon, when there was a parade passing by, Mr. Thayer thought, “Why should Mr. Wilson get to be next to the window and have all the pleasure of seeing what was going on? Why shouldn’t I have that chance too?”
a. Mr. Thayer felt ashamed for thinking that way, but the more he tried to put the thought out of his mind, the more strongly he wanted to see all those sights for himself.
b. He felt that he would do anything for a chance to be by the window.
c. Within a few days of feeling like this, Mr. Thayer had turned completely sour.
d. He lost sleep brooding about it and grew even more ill.
4. One night as Mr. Thayer stared at the ceiling, brooding, Mr. Wilson suddenly began coughing and choking, his lungs were becoming congested with fluid.
a. Mr. Wilson tried to reach for the nurse call button, but could not find it, meanwhile Mr. Thayer didn’t move a muscle.
b. Mr. Wilson choked one final time, and then stopped breathing.
5. In the morning, when the day nurse did her rounds, she discovered that Mr. Wilson had died.
a. Mr. Wilson’s family was notified, and his body was taken away.
b. As soon as it seemed appropriate, Mr. Thayer asked if his bed could be moved next to the window, and the switch was made.
c. The minute Mr. Thayer was left alone, he decided he would prop himself up on one elbow, even though he wasn’t supposed to get off his back.
d. With great pain and effort, Mr. Thayer propped himself up and looked out the window, and do you know what he saw?
e. The window faced the wall of another building – there was nothing to see!
L. When we are jealous and envious of what we think others have, we are often left with emptiness and then we might do whatever it takes to get what they have.
1. In the end, all the stuff and all the experiences and all the people that are supposed to make us happy, really don’t make us happy.
2. Real happiness is found in our relationship with God and in being content with who we are and what we have.
3. This is the hope we have in the Lord – so when we run to Him and trust in Him, and pursue satisfaction in Him, then the green-eyed monster can’t destroy us.
M. I hope we have all found contentment and satisfaction in a saving relationship with God.
1. If you haven’t yet started a saving relationship with God, then it begins with faith, repentance and baptism (immersion in water for the forgiveness of sins).
2. But then it continues with growing as a follower of Jesus, learning to value what God values, and learning to serve and love others.
3. Let us know how we can help you have a closer walk with God.
Resources:
• Jealousy (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/jealousy)
• Hey, Jealousy, article by Paul Maxwell, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/hey-jealousy
• Put Jealousy to Death, article by Jaquelle Crowe, https://unlockingthebible.org/2017/08/put-jealousy-to-death/
• The Sin We Like to Ignore – Jealousy, article by Bethany Verrett, https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/the-sin-we-like-to-ignore-jealousy.html
• What your jealous feelings are telling you (and what you should do about them), article by Sarah DiGiulio, https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/what-your-jealous-feelings-are-telling-you-what-you-should-ncna1002411#anchor-Jealousyisntnecessarilyaproblembutitmightbeasignofaproblemwithinoneofyourrelationships
• The Evil Twins: Jealousy and Envy, https://www.dequeenfcc.com/the_evil_twins_jealousy_and_envy
• The Evil Eye, Sermon by Dan Williams (May 26, 2013).
