A. I came across this humorous list of truths children learn – let me share a few with you.
1. Truth #1: No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. Truth #2: You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
3. Truth #3: You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
4. Truth #4: The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.
B. Today, as we continue our sermon series on emotions called “Embracing and Employing our Emotions,” I want to talk about feelings of sadness and depression.
1. During this series, I have been driving home the point that God has created us with the ability to feel emotions in order that our lives might be enriched.
2. As we have seen, that is true for the emotions of guilt, fear, and anger, and today I want us to understand that it is also true of sadness.
3. God has created us with the ability to feel sadness for good reasons.
C. But as with most painful emotions, we have a natural tendency to want to avoid it.
1. From a very young age, we try to avoid sad feelings.
2. As adults, we’re quick to shush wailing babies or offhandedly say to sobbing children, “Don’t be sad. Cheer up. You’re fine. Stop crying.”
3. Unintentionally, we can pass on the message that sadness is bad and that it should be avoided.
D. But, how is sadness a good emotion and why should we let ourselves feel sad?
1. I like the way a counselor explained it: In its most simple form, we have two “brains”: The Emotional Mind and The Thinking Brain. The Thinking Brain processes our life as a series of events whereas the Emotional Mind focuses on how we feel about what has happened. Every significant event needs to be processed by the Thinking Brain as well as the Emotional Mind. Feeling sad, angry, fearful, and joyful are essential features of our Emotional Mind, and they all have an important role to play when we emotionally process life’s events. (Creating Change)
2. So, on the most basic level, sadness’s function is twofold: (1) To let us know that we need to grieve and (2) to cause us to seek out those who love and support us.
3. Like with the other emotions we have been discussing, I want to encourage us to identify our feelings and allow ourselves to feel them – to not be afraid of feeling our feelings.
a. We need to learn to trust the emotion of sadness.
b. If we feel sad, then feel sad. Sadness is there to help us.
c. Own it, embrace it, and trust in it.
d. When we trust the emotion of sadness we allow it to guide us through our pain and grief, and we become stronger for it.
e. We must make space for sadness to be a part of our lives and our experience.
4. Another way that we can benefit from the emotion of sadness is the way it helps us connect with others.
a. Sharing our sadness helps us be more vulnerable with others.
b. Being in touch with our sadness helps us to empathize with the sadness of others.
c. As we become more comfortable with normal feelings of sadness, then we are able to help others feel comfortable with their sadness.
d. Then the tendency to want to fix and rid sadness will disappear.
5. Sadness can also serve to remind us of what matters most and what gives our life meaning.
E. Let’s talk for a minute about why many of us may be afraid to allow ourselves to feel sad.
1. For one thing, we may be afraid that tapping into any sadness will open up the well of our buried emotions, and that we won’t be able to get out of the place of sadness.
2. Also, sadness is often mistakenly confused with depression, but they are not the same.
3. Unlike depression, sadness is a natural part of life and is usually connected with certain experiences of pain or loss, and can also follow after a meaningful moment of connection or joy that brings value to our lives.
4. Depression, on the other hand, can arise without a clear explanation or can result from an unhealthy, non-adaptive reaction to a painful event, where we either harden ourselves against our natural reaction to the event or get overwhelmed by it.
5. In reality, depression affects millions of Americans and can have many forms including a persistent depressive disorder (symptoms lasting 2 years or more), major depression (symptoms lasting at least 2 weeks); post-partum depression (following the birth of a baby), and seasonal affective disorder (that effects people during the longer dark days of winter).
6. Severe depression that leads to feelings of hopelessness or suicidality may involve a brain chemistry issue, and for this reason needs attention and assistance from mental health professionals.
F. Studies show that about 1 in 20 Americans is depressed at any given time.
1. Depression hits some of us harder than others – Women are depressed twice as often as men. People in upper income brackets are 3 times more depressed than those with lower incomes. Depression is more common for people in their 40s and 50s (Minirth & Meir, Happiness is a Choice, 1978).
2. And yes, even Christians become depressed.
3. As God’s children, we may be better equipped with resources to handle and recover from depression, but we are not immune from it.
4. And it is important to emphasize that depression is not sinful, nor is it a reflection or a judgment on our walk with God.
G. When we review the great names and personalities of the Scriptures, we become aware that almost all of them knew times of great discouragement and deep depression.
1. Job found himself in a time of great suffering – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
2. Moses once became so blue and discouraged that he asked God to take his life.
3. Jonah, after the great revival at Nineveh, asked God for the very same thing, to end his life.
4. The apostle Paul “despaired even of life” at certain points in his ministry.
5. Jeremiah, known as the weeping prophet confessed that he wished he had never been born.
6. The company of the sad and depressed is a very noble company.
7. And whether we will admit it or not, all of us have been numbered among them at one time or another.
8. So, sadness is good and needed for us to be able to experience the ups and downs of life and loss, but sadness can take over and our enemy can use it against us.
H. What I would like to do now is to look at the examples of three people in Scripture and see how those three people overcame times of overwhelming sadness and despondency.
I. First, let’s consider the example of Elijah the prophet.
1. God sent Elijah to Ahab, the evil King of Israel, to announce the start of a three year drought.
2. Then during the three year drought God provided for Elijah at the Cherith brook and then at the widow’s house at Zaraphath.
3. When it was time for the drought to end, God sent Elijah back to King Ahab to announce the end of the drought and to propose a showdown on Mount Carmel.
4. The showdown was going to be between the one and only true God and the false gods of Baal and Asherah.
5. The people of Israel and the prophets of Baal and Asherah were all invited to the showdown.
6. Of course, Baal failed the test, but God rained down fire from heaven showing His existence and power.
7. Having won the contest and the hearts of the people of Israel, Elijah ordered the execution of the false prophets.
8. God lifted the three year drought, and with supernatural power, Elijah raced the king’s chariot, on foot, all the way to Jezreel, and beat him.
9. But word came to Elijah that Queen Jezebel intended to kill Elijah within 24 hours.
10. How did the spiritually powerful Elijah respond to this news?
11. The Bible says: Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. (1 Kgs. 19:3-5)
J. On the one hand, this was a very surprising reaction, but on the other hand it was to be expected.
1. What Elijah experienced here may be the classic mountain top/valley experience.
a. Once we hit an emotional high point in our lives, then there’s nowhere to go but down.
b. This often happens to people after major positive experiences.
1. After graduation from high school or college – the fear of “then what” sets in.
2. After the birth of a child – there is often a letdown, or post-partum depression.
3. After getting married – the honeymoon is over and we think what have I done.
4. So, perhaps this is what happened with Elijah.
2. The second reason for Elijah’s depression at this point may be the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” syndrome.
a. Elijah had successfully faced the King, the pagan prophets, but now the queen’s threat was just too much.
b. All by itself, the threat of Jezebel might not have affected him, but after coming on top of everything else it was “the straw that broke that camel’s back.”
c. Sometimes it takes all our strength to handle the big problem we are facing, and then along comes a relatively minor problem: a flat tire, a burned meal, or spilled milk and it pushes us over the edge.
d. The big problems drain us, and then the added weight of the little problems overwhelm us.
3. Whatever set it off, Elijah was clearly despondent, depressed and ready to quit.
K. Elijah’s experience is the perfect case study in the basic causes and cures for depression.
1. We don’t have time to look at it in detail, but let’s look briefly at how God offered solutions for the causes of Elijah’s depressed state.
2. The first cause of Elijah’s despondency and depression was over-exertion.
a. Think of all he had been through – years of roughing it in the wilderness, an intense contest on Mt. Carmel, running 20 miles from Carmel to Jezreel, traveling 100 miles from Jezreel to Beersheba, and then a day’s journey into the desert.
b. Physically, what he really needed was a long nap and some good nutrition, and that’s exactly what God provided.
c. Sometimes our depression can be improved by better nutrition, some rest, and exercise.
3. A second cause of Elijah’s depression was being over-burdened.
a. Elijah was trying to carry too much and he was trying to carry it all by himself.
b. God’s solution was a fresh encounter with God that reminded him that God was Almighty.
4. A third cause of Elijah’s depression was self-preoccupation.
a. Elijah had become focused on himself and all that he had done – he was inwardly focused.
b. God’s solution was for Elijah to focus outside himself, so God sent him to anoint a king.
c. Luther’s cure for his depression was to harness the horses and spread manure on the fields.
5. The final cause of Elijah’s depression was isolation.
a. Where was Elijah when he gave up? He was in a desert absolutely alone and he thought he was the only one left.
b. God’s solution was for Elijah to anoint Elisha to be his understudy and future replacement.
c. God also reminded Elijah that he wasn’t alone and that there were 7000 still on God’s side.
6. So, when we find ourselves in a time of sadness and depression, understanding these causes and implementing these cures may help us, like it helped Elijah.
a. We can look to our physical needs for rest, exercise and nutrition.
b. We can look to God for strength and cast our anxieties on God.
c. We can look outside of ourselves and see what we can do for someone else.
d. We can look to others for friendship and fellowship.
L. The second biblical example I want us to consider is Jesus.
1. Let’s go with Jesus to the garden of Gethsemane and see him face what was probably the greatest spiritual warfare that a human soul has ever faced or will face.
2. The Bible says: Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he told the disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. He said to them, “I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with me.” Going a little farther, he fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:36-39)
3. What was going on here? Why was Jesus so distressed, and troubled, and sorrowful?
a. Jesus was surely under Satanic attack as His arrest and crucifixion were at hand.
b. Perhaps Satan was challenging Him with these thoughts: “This is a dead end street. Calvary is just a black hole. It’s going to hurt like nothing has ever hurt. And these rascals, they aren’t worth it!”
4. Keep in mind that Jesus was sinless – He had never done wrong: in thought, emotion or deed.
a. But the emotional and physical turmoil that He was experiencing at that moment was a fitting response to the extraordinary temptation and situation that He was enduring.
M. Let’s notice what Jesus did in response to His troubled soul so that He would be able to endure His sadness and despondency.
1. First, Jesus asked His friends to be with Him – Jesus asked three of them to join Him in a more personal and private way – He didn’t want to be completely alone.
2. Second, Jesus opened His soul to them – Jesus was honest about how He was feeling – He said, “I am deeply grieved to the point of death.” – How’s that for open and honest?
3. Third, Jesus asked for their help – Jesus asked them to stay with Him and to watch and pray for Him.
4. Fourth, Jesus poured out His heart to His Father and then He rested in His Father’s sovereign will – “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”
a. Jesus wanted to know if there was another way other than the cross to accomplish what needed to be done for the salvation of the world.
b. Jesus’ will was that there would be some other way.
c. But what Jesus wanted more than anything was for His Father’s will to be done.
5. I believe that following Jesus’ approach to embracing and employing sadness and despondency will make a difference for all of us.
a. When we find ourselves in deep despondency and depression it will help us to call upon our trusted friends, our inner circle.
b. It will help to open our soul to them and ask them to be with us and fight with us in prayer.
c. It will also help to approach our Father and rest in the sovereignty of God’s will.
N. The third example of someone who was able to come through a time of overwhelming sadness and distress is Asaph.
1. In Psalm 77, we get a glimpse into how Asaph wrestled through a dark time.
3. Asaph began: I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me. I sought the Lord in my day of trouble. My hands were continually lifted up all night long; I refused to be comforted. I think of God; I groan; I meditate; my spirit becomes weak. You have kept me from closing my eyes; I am troubled and cannot speak. (Ps. 77:1-4)
a. So here we see that Asaph is in trouble and he is hurting.
b. He can’t sleep, nothing will comfort him, and his spirit becomes weak.
c. But what is he doing through all of that? Praying. Seeking the Lord. Hands lifted up. He is groaning and meditating.
4. Let’s see where and when there was a breakthrough and a strengthening, lifting and brightening of his spirit.
a. Let’s start with verse 11: I will remember the Lord’s works; yes, I will remember your ancient wonders. I will reflect on all you have done and meditate on your actions.
God, your way is holy. What god is great like God? You are the God who works wonders; you revealed your strength among the peoples. With power you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
The water saw you, God. The water saw you; it trembled. Even the depths shook. The clouds poured down water. The storm clouds thundered; your arrows flashed back and forth. The sound of your thunder was in the whirlwind; lightning lit up the world. The earth shook and quaked. Your way went through the sea and your path through the vast water, but your footprints were unseen. You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron. (Psalm 77:11-20)
b. Asaph did what we all need to do when we are sad and depressed, we need to remember and rehearse God’s past works in the history of His people and in our own lives.
c. We can work our way from Abraham to Joseph, and from Moses to David, and from David to Christ Jesus.
d. And then we can trace God’s work in our lives.
5. We can do what Chip Ingram, author and preacher, calls “the napkin exercise.”
a. He says: “Whenever you feel yourself starting to go downhill, put a ballpoint pen in your pocket, go to a restaurant, get a soda, and pull out a napkin. Begin to list all the specific blessings that happened that day...that week...that month...that year. These are facts, not feelings. Write down what God has done for you. List the top ten answers to prayer in your life. List five people who love you. Write down the best things that have happened in your life.” (Quoted by Chip Ingram, I Am Always With You, p. 110.)
b. It’s the old “count your blessings” way to re-orient our thoughts and hearts.
c. It helps to take us from a place of despair where all we can see is our big problems and our seemingly little God, to a place where we remember that our God is so big and our problems so small in comparison.
d. Like Asaph, we conclude: “God, your way is holy. What god is great like God?!” (Ps. 77:13)
e. And from another of Asaph’s psalms: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever. (Ps. 73:26)
O. When we find ourselves in the deepest, darkest moments of our lives...when sadness and despondency and depression feel like they will take us under, that’s when we need a fresh reminder of who God is, and that He is with us, that He will take care of us, and that His will is best.
1. Our experience can be that of David who in Psalm 40 declared: I waited patiently for the Lord,
and he turned to me and heard my cry for help. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God…How happy is anyone who has put his trust in the Lord…” (Psalm 40:1-2, 4)
2. Sadness is a needed emotion, but God didn’t give it to us to destroy us and it need not take us under in despair and depression.
3. The help we need in our lowest times is available: from our God, from those who love us, and from skilled professionals.
4. Thank God for our emotions and the ability to embrace and employ them appropriately.
Resources:
• Managing Your Emotions, Erwin Lutzer, Christian Herald Books, 1981
• Creatingchange.net.au/importance-sadness-purpose-life/
• www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201507/the-value-sadness
• When You are Trouble and Depressed, Sermon by Lloyd Stilley (https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/sermon-trouble-depression-hope-crisis-psalm-77)
• Battling the Unbelief of Despondency, by John Piper
(www.desiringgod.org/messages/battling-the-unbelief-of-dspondency)
