A. In the Spring of 1959 an Air Force major entered a Texas mental institution for the second time.
1. He had tried to commit suicide twice and he had been arrested for forgery and robbery.
2. For years he had been drinking heavily and his marriage had disintegrated.
3. Yet, only 15 years before, he had been a model officer headed for a promising career.
4. One momentous event precipitated the major’s plunge – he flew the plane over Hiroshima when the first atom bomb was dropped.
5. Shortly afterward the major began to be haunted in his dreams by throngs of Japanese men, women and children, and his own life began to collapse.
6. The psychiatrist who treated him said that the major was subconsciously trying to bring punishment from society to atone for the guilt he felt over Hiroshima.
7. Unresolved guilt was destroying his life.
B. Now, few of us suffer such grievous guilt, but all of us do experience feelings of guilt and shame.
1. And all of us need to learn how to embrace and employ these feelings in ways that are helpful rather than harmful.
C. Today, we continue our new sermon series called “Embracing and Employing our Emotions.
1. Last week we began the series by declaring that emotions are a gift from God.
2. Last week, I suggested that we need to avoid two extremes with regard to our emotions:
a. On the one hand, we need to avoid the extreme that ignores and suppresses our emotions.
b. On the other hand, we need to avoid the extreme that allows our emotions to be in-charge.
3. I suggested that God has given us the capacity to feel in order that our lives might be enriched.
4. I concluded that God’s primary means of bringing about our emotional health and wellbeing is through our relationship with God.
5. It is through our relationship with God that we experience: grace and forgiveness, freedom in Christ, a spiritual family that provides belonging, a wholesome and truthful self-image, and joy.
6. Each week, as we examine one of our emotions, we will explore how that emotion is given to us for our wellbeing, and how to allow God to use it in our lives for our very best.
D. So, let’s turn our attention to feelings of guilt and shame.
1. The ability to feel guilt and shame is designed by God to help us, but those feelings can easily go astray and lead to our destruction.
2. Let’s spend a few minutes thinking about guilt and shame and to try to better understand these emotions.
E. For starters, it is important to realize that although we may use the words “guilt” and “shame” interchangeably, there is a difference between the two.
1. Guilt and shame are related to each other, but they are not identical.
a. Guilt is the bad feeling we have for doing something we should not have done.
b. Shame is the bad feeling of regret for being an inadequate person.
c. To boil it down: Guilt is about what you did; shame is about who you are.
d. Both feelings hurt, but it is important to know the difference.
2. Guilt’s message is “I did something wrong or bad” and there is a need for forgiveness and correction or reconciliation.
3. Shame’s message is “I am bad” and there is a need for an identity correction and relational connection.
4. But here is where things can get really mixed up and tricky:
a. It is possible to be guilty without feeling shame, but it is also possible to feel shame when we are not guilty.
b. We can feel shame for things we can’t control and feel guilty when we haven’t done anything wrong.
c. It is so sad to me that shame is commonly experienced by victims of abuse, and that it’s not uncommon for the victim of abuse to feel more shame than the perpetrator.
d. At the opposite end of the spectrum, there are times when we should feel guilty, but we don’t, which can be the result of ignorance, a misguided conscience or a seared conscience.
e. I like how one person put it: consciousness is when I am aware of something, conscience is when I wish I wasn’t.
f. Someone else has explained guilt like this: Guilt is like the red warning light on the dashboard of the car. You can either stop and deal with the trouble, or break out the light.
F. Satan, our enemy, has many ways of using these emotions against us.
1. Satan wants us to feel one of two ways.
2. Satan sometimes wants us to not feel guilty when we really are guilty and should feel it.
3. But for many of us, Satan wants us to feel so much guilt and shame that we feel discouraged and hopeless.
4. He wants us to think that there is no way God will forgive us for our wrongs.
5. Satan wants us to think we are so bad and such failures that we will always be too flawed, unworthy, and never good enough to deserve love and acceptance, and that we’re trapped and have no hope of our situation changing.
6. The heaviest burdens that any of us can bear are the weight of guilt and shame we feel because of something we have done or because of something others have done to us, especially when we think there is no way to get out from under the weight of guilt and shame.
7. A lie that we often believe is that guilt and shame are a form of punishment from God.
8. Satan wants us to believe that God wants us to carry the burden of guilt and shame as a form of penance because we have been so bad and are so bad.
G. The truth that God wants us to embrace and employ is that right feelings of guilt and shame are for our good.
1. There is a right time and right purpose for guilt and shame.
2. God has created us with the ability to learn about right and wrong and then to feel guilt and shame when we have done what is wrong.
3. When we have done something truly wrong, then we are guilty, and that guilt first and foremost, refers to our legal status before God – we become breakers of God’s law.
4. When we sin, we are guilty before God.
5. When we sin, we should be ashamed of ourselves for having done what is wrong.
6. When we do what is wrong we should feel the painful emotions of guilt and shame.
7. Our consciences should poke us and let us know that what we have done is wrong.
8. The purpose of felt guilt is to cause us to grieve over our sin, to cause us to seek the forgiving and restoring grace of God, and cause us to make a commitment to walk in the right way.
9. In this way, guilt and shame are not a punishment, but a good gift that leads to blessings.
H. The apostle Paul explained this in his letter to the church at Corinth: For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly grief produces death. (2 Cor. 7:10)
1. Satan loves to build his case on half-truths.
2. Though we are guilty when we sin, this verdict isn’t the end of the story.
3. The devil is our accuser and the prosecutor, but God is the judge and Jesus is our defender.
4. When godly grief encourages us to turn away from our sin and causes us to run to Jesus – the only one who can forgive us and remove our guilt and shame – then the emotions of guilt and shame have served us well.
5. But when grief and shame only cause us to be sorry about being caught, or to loath ourselves and isolate ourselves from others or from God, then those emotions have not done what God designed them to do.
I. Think with me about some people in the Bible who had good reason to experience guilt and shame.
1. I think about the apostle Peter, the one who had been with Jesus for three years, and who professed that he was willing to die for Jesus.
2. But when Jesus predicted that Peter would deny that he even knew Jesus three times before the next sunrise, Peter declared that would never happen.
3. But it did happen, Peter denied knowing Jesus, uttering oaths (“I swear on the Bible or my mother’s grave”) and even calling down curses on himself (“cross my heart and hope to die”).
4. Luke tells us that after the third denial, Jesus and Peter’s eyes met and Peter remembered what Jesus had predicted, and Peter went out and wept bitterly.
5. Scripture reveals that Peter struggled to overcome the guilt and shame of what he had done.
6. But Scripture also reveals that Jesus after the resurrection sent a special message to Peter, made a private appearance to Peter, and reinstated Peter in front of the other apostles by asking Peter three times if Peter loved Him, and when Peter answered “yes,” Jesus gave him a commission.
7. Then 50 days after the resurrection on the Day of Pentecost, it was Peter who stood up and boldly proclaimed the Gospel for the first time and 3000 people were baptized that day!
8. Peter did not allow his feelings of guilt and shame to stop him from serving the Lord.
J. I think about the apostle Paul and the good reasons that he had to struggle with guilt and shame.
1. As you know, before Paul become a follower of Christ, he was a persecutor of Christians.
2. Paul had ordered men and women to be imprisoned and executed, and the only wrong they had committed was a profession of faith in Christ.
3. Can you imagine how easy it would have been for Paul to feel guilt and shame about that after his conversion to Christ?
4. I’m sure that was one of Satan’s frequent accusations against Paul – that Paul had been a blasphemer and persecutor of Jesus.
5. Listen to how Paul explained his ability to overcome guilt and shame: 12 I give thanks to Christ Jesus our Lord who has strengthened me, because he considered me faithful, appointing me to the ministry— 13 even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an arrogant man. But I received mercy because I acted out of ignorance in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate his extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in him for eternal life. (1 Timothy 1:12-16)
6. Paul did not allow his feelings of guilt and shame to stop him from serving the Lord.
K. I think about King David and the good reasons he had to struggle with guilt and shame.
1. For starters, there is the sexual sin that was involved with Bathsheba that began with lust and turned into murder so that he could have the woman he wanted.
a. That sexual sin led to a pregnancy, and then to the death of the new born.
b. How’s that for a reason for some heavy guilt and shame?
2. Add to that David’s decision to do a census against the advice of Joab, his army commander.
a. The Lord’s judgment against David resulted in a plague that killed 70,000 of David’s men.
b. How’s that for a reason for some heavy guilt and shame?
3. But listen to how King David dealt with his guilt and shame: 1 How joyful is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! 2 How joyful is a person whom the Lord does not charge with iniquity and in whose spirit is no deceit! 3 When I kept silent, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was drained as in the summer’s heat. 5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not conceal my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:1-5)
4. Psalm 51: 1 Be gracious to me, God, according to your faithful love; according to your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion. 2 Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you—you alone—I have sinned and done this evil in your sight. So you are right when you pass sentence; you are blameless when you judge… 7 Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow…9 Turn your face away from my sins and blot out all my guilt. (Psalm 51:1-4, 7, 9)
5. King David brought his remorseful and repentive heart to the Lord, and David believed that God would and did forgive and did remove the guilt of his sin.
L. Let’s consider two final people from Scripture both who had an encounter with Jesus in a moment of great guilt and shame.
1. The first person is a woman we read about in John 8 who was dragged before Jesus having been caught in the act of adultery.
a. Scripture tells us that the Pharisees had brought this woman to Jesus in order to trap him.
b. If the Pharisees were really interested in justice, the man she was caught in the act of adultery with would also have been brought before Jesus – but maybe the man was one of their friends.
c. Yet, here was this vulnerable woman being forced into a public moment of shame.
d. Was the woman guilty? Absolutely. Did she deserve the punishment of the law? Yes.
e. But being God, Jesus knew how to defuse the situation and gain control over the outcome.
f. By proposing that only someone without sin could throw the first stone, He knew that He was the only one who would qualify.
g. The Bible says, “At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first.” The older and wiser ones, knew more quickly that they were disqualified.
h. Then Jesus asked the woman, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, Lord,” she answered.
i. Jesus said: “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”
2. The other person is a woman we read about in Luke 7 who is described as a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town (likely a prostitute).
a. A certain Pharisee was holding a dinner party for Jesus, but the Pharisee did not really have a high opinion of Jesus and showed it by the lack of proper etiquette toward Jesus.
b. Nevertheless, this sinful woman slipped in among the guests and began to weep and her tears fell on Jesus’ feet which she wiped with her hair. Then she kissed the feet of Jesus and poured expensive perfume on them.
c. The Pharisee was indignant and judged Jesus in his heart.
d. Jesus corrected him with a story, but then praised this sinful woman.
e. Finally, Jesus declared, “Your sins are forgiven” and concluded “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
M. Just like the two women in those stories, we all must face the aftermath of our sin, even though most of us don’t have to face it in such a public manner.
1. Just like those women, we have to face the truth of what we have done – we are guilty.
2. And just like those women, there is a way out – there is a way of forgiveness and repentance.
3. But just like those women, we have to take Jesus at His word: “Neither do I condemn you…Your sins are forgiven…Your faith has saved you, go in peace.”
N. This is the key to our embracing and employing the emotions of guilt and shame.
1. When our feelings of guilt and shame cause us to turn to the Lord in repentance and confession, we have to believe God when He says that we are forgiven.
2. Here are some helpful promises of God to hold on to:
a. 7 If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7-9)
b. 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, 2 because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Rom. 8:1-2)
c. 19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have boldness to enter the sanctuary through the blood of Jesus—21 and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. (Heb. 10:19, 21-22)
3. When we feel overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame, but we know that are in Christ and have confessed and repented before the Lord, then we must listen to the voice of truth.
4. It all boils down to choosing which voice to listen to – will we allow the voice of emotion or the voice of truth to have the greatest impact in our lives?
5. The truth is that if we are in Christ, then we have made mistakes (sins), but we are not a mistake. We are children of God, made in God’s image, loved and forgiven, redeemed in Christ, and saved through Christ’s righteousness.
6. When God looks at us, He sees Jesus – who separates our sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12) – when we realize this, the Accuser’s charges are silenced.
7. We can stop letting the feelings of guilt and shame to overwhelm us, because in Christ our guilt and shame have been removed – because we are in Christ we know that we are forgiven.
O. Allow me to end with this story:
1. Once there were a group of boys horsing around at summer camp, and were not being supervised as closely as they should have been – must have been a camp outside of NYS.
2. One of the boys grabbed a large stick and threw it like a javelin and the limb did serious damage to the windshield of the camp van.
3. The boys confessed their impropriety to the director who after inspecting the damage wanted to skin them alive.
4. The director composed himself, went back to the boy who threw the limb, took his shoulders in his hands, looked squarely into his eyes and said, “This is the sort of thing that insurance is for. Don’t worry. Relax. It’s all taken care of.”
5. The guilty boy immediately relaxed and the director could feel the tension drain from his body.
6. Whenever we are hounded by guilt and shame, I want for us to picture Jesus coming to us, taking our shoulders His hands, looking us squarely in the eyes, and saying, “This is the sort of thing my blood is for. Don’t worry. Relax. It’s all taken care of.”
P. If your emotions of guilt and shame have not yet led you to Jesus to receive forgiveness and salvation from Him, then I hope you will allow your God-given sorrow to lead you to faith, repentance, and baptism.
1. And for all who have come to Jesus already, guilt and shame need never to have power over us ever again – Because Jesus is our defender and Savior and has already paid our debt in full.
2. How joyful is the one whose sins are forgiven!
3. What amazing grace we have received! (Let’s stand and sing “Amazing Grace”)
