A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to honor thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.” (Bill White, Paramount, California; www.Preaching Today.com)
Sometimes, brothers and sisters feel like “killing” each other, not only in the nuclear family, but also in the family of God. This last election cycle has brought out the animosity, but despite our differences, God calls us to live in peace with each other.
The question is how. How do God’s people learn to live in peace with each other in the midst of all the animosity? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Genesis 29, Genesis 29, where Jacob’s family shows us what NOT to do in what I call their “baby battle.”
Genesis 29:30 So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years. (ESV)
Jacob hates one wife and loves the other. It’s the root of the problem in Jacob’s family. It’s nothing but good, old-fashioned favoritism. And It started with Jacob’s parents: his dad favored his brother, and his mom favored him. Now, Jacob favors one wife over the other; and later on, he is going to favor one son over all the rest. Favoritism leads to nothing but trouble in Jacob’s family. Look at what happens here.
Genesis 29:31-35 When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing. (ESV)
Leah, the unloved wife, is hurting deeply. You can see it in the names she gives her children: Reuben, which means “God sees my misery;” Simeon, which means “God hears my cry;” Levi, which means “attached,” longing for her husband to become attached to her; and Judah, which means “praise,” hoping that she can praise the Lord again. Leah is a woman in pain – unseen, unheard, and unloved by her husband, but she looks to the Lord who sees, hears, and loves her.
The fact is God shows more favor to the one who is less favored. Leah is the only one having children right now, and two of her children will head up two of the most important tribes in Israel. Levi’s descendants will become priests in Israel, and Judah descendants will rule on the throne of Israel as kings. In fact, the Messiah Himself, Jesus, our Lord, will be a descendant of Judah.
God loves the unloved. God favors the least favored. God chooses those the rest of the world rejects. So be careful about showing favoritism, because you could find yourself opposing God. And as a result, you could find yourself causing a lot of trouble just like Jacob did.
Do you want to live in peace with each other in God’s family? Do you want to overcome your differences? Then…
DON’T LOOK DOWN on anyone in the family.
Down reject any of God’s children. Don’t despise those God has chosen to glorify himself. Don’t minimize their importance simply because they don’t meet your external standards of beauty, intelligence, or strength.
The Bible says, “God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” (1 Corinthians 1:27-29).
Tony Campolo talks about a time when he was a counselor at a junior high camp. He said he had never met meaner kids in his life. They focused on an unfortunate kid named Billy who had cerebral palsy. His brain was unable to exercise proper control over his body or speech. The kids called him "spastic." Billy would walk across the grounds of the camp in his disjointed manner, and the others would line up behind him, imitating his every movement. One day Billy asked one of the boys, “Which way is the craft shop?” The other boy twisted grotesquely, pointed a dozen different ways and said, “That way!” How could he be so cruel?
The meanness reached its lowest point when Billy's cabin had been assigned the morning devotions for those 150 kids. The boys voted for Billy to be the speaker. They knew he couldn't do it. They just wanted to get him up there so that they could mock him and laugh. Little Billy got up out of his seat and limped his way to the platform. You could hear the titters of mocking laughter. But that didn't stop the little guy. He took his place behind the rostrum and started to speak. It took him almost ten tortured minutes to say, “Je-sus loves meee! Je-Je-Je-sus loves meee! And I love Je-Je-Jesus.” When he finished there was dead silence. I looked, and there were boys trembling and crying all over the place. A revival broke out in that camp and kids turned their lives over to Jesus. A host of boys committed their lives to Christian service.
Campolo says he wishes he had kept count of how many ministers he has met as he travels across the US who have told him how they gave their lives to Jesus because of the witness of a "spastic" kid named Billy. (Tony Campolo, You Can Make A Difference, Thomas Nelson, 2003, p. 40; www.PreachingToday.com)
God chooses the very people we tend to despise, so be very careful about who you favor. If you want to live in peace with each other, 1st, don’t look down on anyone in the family. Then 2nd…
DON’T LOOK UP TO ANYONE EITHER.
Don’t be jealous of those who seem to be better off. Don’t envy their fortune and covet what God has given them.
That’s what Rachel did. She became jealous of Leah, who was having children while she remained barren.
Genesis 30:1-6 When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!” Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” Then she said, “Here is my servant Bilhah; go in to her, so that she may give birth on my behalf, that even I may have children through her.” So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife, and Jacob went in to her. And Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. Then Rachel said, “God has judged me, and has also heard my voice and given me a son.” Therefore she called his name Dan [which means “vindicated”]. Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachel said, “With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister and have prevailed.” So she called his name Naphtali [which means “my struggle”] (ESV)
This is a picture of strife and struggle, all caused by jealousy. Rachel was jealous of her sister, Leah. Then Leah becomes jealous of Rachel.
Genesis 30:9-13 When Leah saw that she had ceased bearing children, she took her servant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Then Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. And Leah said, “Good fortune has come!” so she called his name Gad [which means “good fortune”]. Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. And Leah said, “Happy am I! For women have called me happy.” So she called his name Asher [which means “happy”].
She has more babies than her sister now, so she considers herself fortunate and happy. It’s the baby battle – two sisters competing with each other to see who can give birth to the most children. They have ceased to appreciate all that God gave each of them, and they only see what the other has that they don’t have.
This is nothing but bold-faced jealousy, and such jealousy always leads to strife.
James 4 says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel” (James 4:1-2)
Jealousy leads to quarrels and fights in the family. So if you want to live in peace, don’t look up to anyone with jealousy.
In the summer of 2006, a Doberman pinscher guard dog named Barney “just went berserk” in Wookey Hall Caves, a teddy bear museum in western England. In an evening rampage, Barney shredded about 100 of the bears on display. But what really got everyone's attention was that he tore apart Mabel—Elvis Presley's teddy bear.
Mabel was owned by an English aristocrat named Benjamin Slade who lived close to the museum. He had reportedly paid something like $75,000 for the bear at a Memphis auction, and then loaned it to Wookey Hall Caves.
What would possess Barney the guard dog to become so angry? To be so violent? The dog's handler, Greg West, speculated that it might have been either a “rogue scent” that “switched on Barney's deepest instincts, or it could have been jealousy,” because, according to West, “I was stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was.”
West had spent several minutes chasing Barney before he could wrestle him to the ground and end the canine's act of vengeance. Photos of the dog after he had been quieted show him sitting on his haunches and looking very contrite. Now, no dogs are allowed at Wookey Hall Caves. (“Doberman on Guard Duty Whacks 100 Teddy Bears,” New York Times, 8-3-06; www.PreachingToday.com)
Jealousy, even in a dog, never leads to a good end.
And for the believer, there is no need for it, because God has richly blessed every believer with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3). So learn to appreciate what you have and not envy what others have.
Rick Warren once said, “Envy is resenting God's goodness to others and ignoring God's goodness to me” (Rick Warren, Twitter, 11-12-10; www. PreachingToday.com)
Please, don’t do that, because such envy can lead to carnage. It tears apart churches and even whole communities. So when you’re tempted to resent others for their blessings, remember to praise God for YOUR blessings.
That’s what helped Robin Lee Shope, a self-confessed “garage sale junkie,” to get over her resentment.
At a moving sale, she found a case under a pile of old bedspreads in a back bedroom of the house where the owner was selling all kinds of stuff. Inside the case was a shiny saxophone, beautifully engraved with the figure of a woman. It was vintage, in pristine condition, and only $20.
She called her husband to do a quick eBay search, because the only thing she could play was the radio, and she had no idea what the instrument was worth. Her husband couldn’t find any saxophones listed on eBay, so she ended the call.
She was worried, because she was $20 poorer and the proud owner of a saxophone that might not sell, but as she was leaving, an elderly man stopped her. “Can I buy that saxophone from you?” he asked hopefully. “I'll give you $20 more than what you paid,” he offered.
Robin was thrilled. She not only recouped her 20 dollars; she made 20 more—and within minutes of her purchase, she viewed it as God's unexpected provision, a blessing...
[Later that day], she sat at the computer, pulled up the eBay homepage, and entered the type of saxophone she’d owned for less than five minutes. To her horror, three exact matches popped up, all selling for over $500. “Rick!” she wailed. “You said there weren't any saxophones listed!” Then she realized the problem:
Rick hadn't gone to the eBay homepage; he'd gone to his wife’s seller’s page, where, of course, she didn't have a sax listed. She felt like she was robbed, like “someone had snatched money right out of [her] pocket.”
She couldn't let it go. Late at night she sat sleepless and angry with herself for harboring ill feelings. Her brain kept replaying the moment she sold the sax, while a bitter little voice whispered that the old man had probably pawned it. She felt envious, consumed by greed—and guilty.
So she opened her Bible. She looked up verses on praising God and wrote them down on note cards. After that, each time she thought about the sax, she lifted her arms and praised God, thanking him and quoting Scripture. She was amazed at how her turmoil fled, leaving behind pure happiness. It set her free, and once more her life became enjoyable. She said, “I even let Rick off the hook, so his life became enjoyable as well!”
A few months later, she was perusing another garage sale; and there, she spied her sax buyer hunched over a box, sifting through old sheet music. Feeling the old twinge of regret, she pretended not to see him. But he recognized her and cheerfully called out, “Hello there! Have you found any treasures today?”
She turned to walk away, but he caught hold of her arm. He told her, “I want you to know that because of your spontaneous generosity, I rekindled my old passion for the saxophone. Being retired, I now volunteer my time to teach kids how to play.” He wiggled his fingers over the keys of an invisible sax. It was then that Robin noticed his frailty, his worn clothes, and his scuffed shoes.
And suddenly she understood. She said, “I thought he'd stolen my blessing, when in fact he was my blessing.” In fact, she considered herself doubly blessed. (Robin Lee Shope, "Garage Sale Blues," Today's Christian (May/June 2008
If you want to overcome the envy in your own heart, do what Robin Shope did. Praise God for the blessings He’s already given you.
If you want to live in peace, don’t look down on some with disdain; don’t look up on others with jealousy. And…
DON’T LOOK WITHIN at your own schemes.
Don’t trust in your own plans to get your own way. Don’t plot to gain the advantage with your own devices. That’s what Rachel tried and failed.
Genesis 30:14 In the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” (ESV)
Now, mandrakes are a special kind of fruit at one time thought to induce fertility.
Genesis 30:15-21 But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes also?” Rachel said, “Then he may lie with you tonight in exchange for your son’s mandrakes.” When Jacob came from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You must come in to me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he lay with her that night. And God listened to Leah, and she conceived and bore Jacob a fifth son. Leah said, “God has given me my wages because I gave my servant to my husband.” So she called his name Issachar [which means reward]. And Leah conceived again, and she bore Jacob a sixth son. Then Leah said, “God has endowed me with a good endowment; now my husband will honor me, because I have borne him six sons.” So she called his name Zebulun [which means honor]. Afterward she bore a daughter and called her name Dinah.
Rachel’s scheme failed. Even though she got the mandrakes, her sister got pregnant, not once, but three more times! Even so, where Rachel failed, God succeeded.
Genesis 30:22-24 Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb. She conceived and bore a son and said, “God has taken away my reproach.” And she called his name Joseph, saying, “May the LORD add to me another son!” (ESV)
That’s what Joseph’s name means: “may he add.” You see, it was not the mandrakes that opened her womb; it was God Himself.
God succeeds where we fail, so if you want true peace, don’t look down on some with disdain; don’t look up on others with jealousy; and don’t look within at your own schemes. Instead...
LOOK TO THE LORD.
Trust Him with your life, and you will find true peace. You will find peace within and without, even in your relationships with others. For Jesus died not only to bring us reconciliation with God; He died to bring us reconciliation with each other.
Ephesians 2 says, “He himself is our peace, who has... broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility... that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two (i.e., in place of two bitter enemies, Jew and Gentile), so making peace” (Ephesians 2:14-15).
Please, let Jesus bring that kind of peace into your life by turning it over to Him. Then, in His strength, stop fighting.
Gordon MacDonald talks about meeting a Nigerian woman who is a doctor at one of the major teaching hospitals here in the United States. She introduced herself using an American name. But MacDonald asked her, “What's your African name?” She immediately gave it to him, several syllables long with a musical sound to it. “What does the name mean?” he wondered.
She answered, “It means 'Child who takes the anger away.”
When Gordon MacDonald asked her why she was given this name, she said, “My parents had been forbidden by their parents to marry. But they loved each other so much that they defied the family opinions and married anyway. For several years they were ostracized from both their families. Then my mother became pregnant with me. And when the grandparents held me in their arms for the first time, the walls of hostility came down. I became the one who swept the anger away. And that's the name my mother and father gave me.” (Gordon MacDonald, Leadership Weekly, 11-6-02; www.PreachingToday.com)
A little less than a month ago, we celebrated the birth of another child who takes the anger away. That child was Jesus. He IS our peace, so look to Him. Trust Him with your life, and let Him bring peace to your heart and to your relationships.
If you want to find peace, don’t look down on some with disdain; don’t look up on others with jealousy; don’t look within at your own schemes. Instead, look to the Lord.
Growing up, our firstborn was a strong-willed child, always wanting to do everything by herself. When she was learning to dress herself, she didn’t want anybody else’s help. That was fine, except sometimes she would put her arm in the wrong hole, get her other arm stuck, and somehow have a foot stuck in the middle of it all. That only frustrated her and made her angry. Sometimes, she would kick and scream and yell, and if little brother was around, watch out!
Eventually, she gave up the fight and her daddy or mommy would help her put on her shirt. Then she’d run off and enjoy her play.
Are you frustrated and angry today? Then stop struggling in your own strength, trying to do it all by yourself. Instead, let your Heavenly Daddy help, because when we depend on Him, the strife ceases.
