Richard Blake and his wife, from San Luis, California, were at a wedding where their neighbor’s son, Robert, was one of the ushers. He seemed young to be an usher at a wedding, but a veteran usher gave him some quick pointers. He instructed Robert to ask the person he was escorting, “Are you a guest of the bride or groom?” That way he would know where to seat them.
Robert took the advice, but something got lost in the translation. When the first arrival came, he graciously offered his arm and asked, “Madam, whose side are you on?” (Richard Blake, San Luis Obispo, California, “Rolling Down the Aisle,” Christian Reader)
As we get ready for Thanksgiving, we have to stop asking the question, “Whose side are you on?” and start appreciating what God is doing in our lives even if there are those with whom we disagree. An attitude of gratitude is so important, because when people don’t appreciate what they have and start battling others to get what they want, chaos ensues.
We see this in Isaac’s family, where Isaac and Rebecca, his wife, find themselves on opposite sides, fighting each other for what they think is right. If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Genesis 27, Genesis 27, where an Old Testament couple shows us how not to handle conflict.
Genesis 27:1-4 When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son”; and he answered, “Here I am.” He said, “Behold, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me, and prepare for me delicious food, such as I love, and bring it to me so that I may eat, that my soul may bless you before I die.” (ESV)
Isaac decides to bless his older son, Esau, in direct contradiction to what God had told his wife in Genesis 25:23. There, God made it very clear that the youngest son should get the blessing, but Isaac determines to bless the oldest son instead. Isaac is defying God, and it puts his wife in a tough spot.
Genesis 27:5-10 Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “I heard your father speak to your brother Esau, ‘Bring me game and prepare for me delicious food, that I may eat it and bless you before the LORD before I die.’ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice as I command you. Go to the flock and bring me two good young goats, so that I may prepare from them delicious food for your father, such as he loves. And you shall bring it to your father to eat, so that he may bless you before he dies.” (ESV)
She is telling her son to lie to his dad! Well, Jacob is not so sure.
Genesis 27:11-17 But Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Behold, my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be mocking him and bring a curse upon myself and not a blessing.” His mother said to him, “Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, bring them to me.” So he went and took them and brought them to his mother, and his mother prepared delicious food, such as his father loved. Then Rebekah took the best garments of Esau her older son, which were with her in the house, and put them on Jacob her younger son. And the skins of the young goats she put on his hands and on the smooth part of his neck. And she put the delicious food and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob. (ESV)
This is nothing but pure manipulation. Rebekah is deceiving her husband. Oh, she wants God’s will for her son, but she has resorted to deceptive manipulation to get it.
Genesis 27:18-25 So he went in to his father and said, “My father.” And he said, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?” Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me; now sit up and eat of my game, that your soul may bless me.” But Isaac said to his son, “How is it that you have found it so quickly, my son?” He answered, “Because the LORD your God granted me success.” Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Please come near, that I may feel you, my son, to know whether you are really my son Esau or not.” So Jacob went near to Isaac his father, who felt him and said, “The voice is Jacob’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” And he did not recognize him, because his hands were hairy like his brother Esau’s hands. So he blessed him. He said, “Are you really my son Esau?” He answered, “I am.” Then he said, “Bring it near to me, that I may eat of my son’s game and bless you.” So he brought it near to him, and he ate; and he brought him wine, and he drank. (ESV)
I count no less than half a dozen lies in this encounter between Jacob and his father. Does it work? On the surface, it seems to work. Jacob receives Isaac’s blessing, but at a terrible cost to the entire family!
Genesis 27:26-29 Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come near and kiss me, my son.” So he came near and kissed him. And Isaac smelled the smell of his garments and blessed him and said, “See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed! May God give you of the dew of heaven and of the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain and wine. Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be everyone who blesses you!” (ESV)
This was in direct contradiction to the revealed will of God. God had made it very clear: “The older will serve the younger” (Genesis 25:23). But Isaac declares, “The younger will serve the older.” He thinks he’s blessing Esau, so Isaac is acting in direct defiance against the clearly revealed word of God. Isaac tries to thwart the plan of God; but in the end, he unwittingly carries it out.
Genesis 27:30-33 As soon as Isaac had finished blessing Jacob, when Jacob had scarcely gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, Esau his brother came in from his hunting. He also prepared delicious food and brought it to his father. And he said to his father, “Let my father arise and eat of his son’s game, that you may bless me.” His father Isaac said to him, “Who are you?” He answered, “I am your son, your firstborn, Esau.” Then Isaac trembled very violently and said, “Who was it then that hunted game and brought it to me, and I ate it all before you came, and I have blessed him? Yes, and he shall be blessed.” (ESV)
He SHALL be blessed, because God accomplished his plan despite Isaac’s efforts to thwart it. That’s why Isaac “trembled very violently” here – literally, “Isaac trembled with an exceedingly great trembling.” This was sheer terror! Isaac was in full panic mode, because he had fought against God and lost, and that is a terrifying thing. Hebrews 10:31 says, “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God!” Isaac’s fellowship with God is broken, and so is his family.
ISAAC’S DEFIANCE AND REBEKAH’S DECEPTION TEAR THEIR FAMILY APART.
First, their actions separate brothers.
Genesis 27:34-40 As soon as Esau heard the words of his father, he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me, even me also, O my father!” But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully, and he has taken away your blessing.” Esau said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob?” [Heel Grabber] for he has cheated me [literally, he has followed at my heel; he has tripped me up] these two times. He took away my birthright, and behold now he has taken away my blessing!” Then he said, “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?” Isaac answered and said to Esau, “Behold, I have made him lord over you, and all his brothers I have given to him for servants, and with grain and wine I have sustained him. What then can I do for you, my son?” Esau said to his father, “Have you but one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father.” And Esau lifted up his voice and wept. Then Isaac his father answered and said to him: “Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be, and away from the dew of heaven on high. By your sword you shall live, and you shall serve your brother; but when you grow restless you shall break his yoke from your neck.” (ESV)
This is no blessing. It’s a curse!
Genesis 27:41 Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” (ESV)
Isaac’s defiance and Rebekah’s deception have created this animosity between brothers. Their actions separate them. And their actions also separate parent and child. Jacob runs away from Esau’s wrath, and Rebekah never sees Jacob again.
Genesis 27:42-45 But the words of Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob her younger son and said to him, “Behold, your brother Esau comforts himself about you by planning to kill you. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice. Arise, flee to Laban my brother in Haran and stay with him a while [literally, “for a few days”] until your brother’s fury turns away—until your brother’s anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send and bring you from there. Why should I be bereft of you both in one day?”
Well, those “few days” turned into 20 years, and Rebekah died during those 20 years, never seeing her son again. Isaac and Rebekah had taken sides. Isaac opposed God and Rebekah opposed Isaac, and everybody lost except God. Isaac’s defiance and Rebekah’s deception tore their family apart.
Dear friends, please don’t do that in YOUR relationships – whether it’s in your family, in the church, or among your friends and neighbors. Don’t tear your relationships apart through defiance or deception. Don’t separate communities through rebellion or manipulation. Instead…
TRUST GOD.
Look to the Lord, not a lie, to solve your problems. Depend on Christ, not deception, to accomplish God’s will in your relationships.
Rebekah wanted the right thing. She wanted God’s will for her family, but felt she had to resort to manipulation and deceit to get it. It didn’t work, did it? In fact, it all backfired on her.
Allen Ross, in his commentary on Genesis 27, says, “In a sense Rebekah and Jacob won, though they gained nothing that God would not have given them anyway; and they lost much” (Allen P. Ross, “Genesis,” The Bible Knowledge Commentary: Old Testament, p.73)
Rebekah ended up with an apprehensive husband, an absent son, and an angry one. Her manipulative ways tore her family apart, and that’s what manipulation and deceit will do to your relationships, as well. It will create anxiety, anger and distance. So please, don’t resort to manipulation and deceit, even if it is for a good reason.
Ed Rowell, of Monument, Colorado, had a friend named Christiana when he was in High School. He says he and his friends loved telling her ridiculous things, because they knew she would always believe them.
Once Ed told Christina that he was going to have surgery. When she asked what kind, he told her they were removing his liver. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. She asked for details about his surgery, which he provided in great detail. When their conversation ended, Ed figured the first person she told about his condition would tell her that no one can live without a liver.
When Ed came home that night, his mother was furious with him. She had gone to their small town's general store to get some groceries, and there on the counter sat a gallon jar with Ed’s picture on it. A sign taped to its side said, “Donations for Eddie Rowell's Surgery.” His mom was, in her words, “embarrassed to death,” and wanted to know where that story had started. So Ed told her.
Even after his mom scolded him, he still thought it was funny, but his smile faded when she made him call Christina.
As they talked on the phone, Christina thought it was even less funny than Ed’s mother. She didn't consider it a joke; she considered it a lie. Out of compassion, she'd gone all around town telling people about Ed’s surgery, and she was hurt, angry, and embarrassed. She started crying and hung up. Ed started thinking that maybe it wasn't so funny after all.
Ed says, “Things were never the same after that.” He thought a lot about apologizing to Christina but could never quite bring himself to do it. Just two years after he graduated from high school, Christina died in a car wreck, and he never got the opportunity to tell her, “I’m sorry.” (Ed Rowell, Monument, Colorado; www.PreachingToday.com)
That’s what a lie does. It destroys relationships. So don’t trust in a lie.
Instead, trust the Lord to accomplish His will in your family. Rebekah didn’t need to lie to her husband to get him to do the right thing. God’s hands were not tied, because Isaac opposed Him. No! God would have found another way to bless Jacob. Or God would have dealt with Isaac Himself. All Rebekah needed to do was trust God in the matter.
In 1931, Matsu Crawford and her husband, Vernon were missionaries in Kochi, Japan. She helped at a home for 65 girls from poor families, where the staff led them to follow Jesus. The girls learned music, the Bible, and English, along with practical skills like cooking, sewing, and embroidery.
Some of the girls, after leaving the school, continued their education to become teachers. A few returned to the home for girls as staff members. One such staff member was Miyoko San… When she returned to the school, she became head of the music department.
One winter day she came to the Crawford’s apartment distraught… When she was ten years old, her parents had betrothed her to a neighbor's son back in the mountains of Tosa Province. Miyoko had forgotten all about it, but the parents and the boy had not. Her father had called the day before to inform her that the young man would expect to claim his bride when school was out in July.
Miyoko was shocked, but Matsu Crawford’s indignation was even greater.
“It's an outrage! Surely you can refuse to have any part in their plans for you," she told Miyoko.
Miss Dowd, founder of the school, just listened without saying a word.
Matsu Crawford cried, “Why should Miyoko be married to a backwoodsman who is not a Christian and will not know how to treat a wife like her?”
However, when Miyoko's wedding day arrived late that year, [she] was definitely in love. It shone in her face and later in her description of married life:
“My husband is helpful, considerate, and appreciative,” she said. “From the first day, he knew that I had been given opportunities denied to him. He asked me to teach him all that I had learned here at the school. I began to teach him English. We have studied the Bible together; he is now a believer in Christ as Lord. Together we have started a church in our house. Now there is a small group of believers who study with us.”
Miyoko continues, “Knowing how much I would miss my music, he somehow saved enough money to buy an organ for me. It was his wedding present to me. It is the first organ seen or heard in our village. Now I am teaching the children in our village to love music. Some of them are even learning to play the organ.”
Matsu Crawford says, “Suddenly my outrage seemed so foolish. God's plan had been better all along. Through this arranged marriage, his message of salvation was being proclaimed in the mountains by one of the village's own. Seeing the change in Miyoko's life, others were committing their lives to the Lord.” (Matsu Crawford, “A Gift for a Reluctant Bride,” Christian Reader, Jul/Aug 2001; www.PreachingToday.com)
No matter what’s going on, you can always trust the Lord. He is always working out His good, acceptable, and perfect plan even when it seems circumstances are contrary to that plan.
So there is no need to be sneaky and manipulative when things don’t go your way. There is no need to plot and scheme when someone you love is not doing the right thing. There is no need to resort to deceptive manipulation when a friend’s life is out of balance, or even when there’s an addiction to alcohol, porn, or work.
Just depend on God to work out His will in your life and in the lives of those you love. Trust the Lord, not a lie. And…
OBEY HIM.
Do what you know God wants you to do. Do what’s right; don’t do what’s wrong.
Don’t defy God like Isaac did. Isaac was driven by his appetites. The phrase, “delicious food,” is found no less than six times in this chapter (vs.4,7,9,14,17 & 31). Genesis 25:28 says Isaac liked wild game, so he favored his oldest son, who was a hunter and provided the “delicious food” he liked.
In fact, Isaac’s appetites led him to defy the living God Himself, and it wrecked havoc in his family. Not only did his favoritism create tension between his sons, his disobedience drove his wife crazy. Men and women, please be careful lest your appetites lead you to defy God and destroy your family.
Several years ago, park rangers in Arizona’s Grand Canyon National Park had to kill over two dozen mule deer, because they became hooked on the junk food left by visitors to the park. The deer were chowing down on potato chips, cheese curls, and candy bars.
Well, after they get a taste of the sugar and salt, deer develop an extreme addiction and will go to any lengths to eat only junk food. The result is the animals ignore the food they need, leaving them in poor health and on the edge of starvation. Because of junk food cravings, the deer lose their natural ability to digest vegetation. One park ranger called the junk food “the crack cocaine of the deer world.” (Arkansas Democrat Gazette, Spring 1995; www.PreachingToday.com)
Well, that’s what happens when you develop a craving for the things of this world. That’s what happens when you pursue power, pleasure, or wealth. Such a diet keeps you from hungering for the things of God. Please, be careful that it doesn’t happen to you. Please, be careful that your appetites don’t lead you to defy the Living God like they did to Isaac.
Instead, ask God to help you live in obedience to him. Commit yourself to living for Christ, not for power, pleasure, wealth, or any of the other appetites that keep us from Christ.
Some time ago, in an article for Christianity Today, Philip Yancey talked about his pastor in Denver, who decided to pull a vacation surprise on his four children. “We're going to Junction City, Kansas,” Peter told them. “It's where my dad used to pastor a church, and we can have lots of fun there.” Meanwhile he made secret plans to spend one afternoon in Junction City, then drive on to enjoy the glories of Disney World.
Ever trusting, his children bragged to skeptical friends, “We're going to Kansas for vacation. It's great!” All during the long drive from Denver to Junction City, Peter kept up morale by describing the wonders awaiting them: playgrounds, a swimming pool, an ice cream stand, maybe even a bowling alley.
After touring Granddad's old church, the kids were ready to check into a motel and go swimming when their dad dropped the bombshell. “You know something – it's kind of boring here in Kansas. Why don't we just drive to Disney World!” Mom reached in a bag and pulled out four custom-made Mickey Mouse hats.
Peter expected his kids to jump up and down in delight. Instead, they complained: “Ah, who wants to get back in the van?” “What about the swimming pool? You promised!” “I thought we were going to go bowling!”
The great surprise had backfired. For the next few hours Peter sat behind the steering wheel and smoldered as his children expanded on all the advantages of Junction City over Disney World. (Philip Yancey, “What's a Heaven For?” Christianity Today, October 1998; www.PreachingToday.com)
How often do people do the same thing, simply because they cannot imagine the wonderful future God has planned for everyone who trusts in His Son? They stamp their feet and insist on a merry-go-round in Junction City when Disney World’s Space Mountain lies just down the road.
C. S. Lewis put it this way: “Our desires are too small. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.”
Please, don’t miss out on what God has for you! Don’t be driven by your appetites, which will only lead you to defy God like Isaac did. Instead, trust and obey the Lord, and let Him do for you what you could never do for yourself.
