Memorial Service for Suicide Victim
Good morning. I want to thank each of you for being here today. Your presence means a lot to this family and so do your prayers. I am David Henderson and I pastor Eagle’s Landing Church in Port Richey.
Psalm 22:1-11 (Living) My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why do you refuse to help me or even to listen to my groans? [2] Day and night I keep on weeping, crying for your help, but there is no reply-- [3] for you are holy. The praises of our fathers surrounded your throne; they trusted you and you delivered them. [4] [5] You heard their cries for help and saved them; they were never disappointed when they sought your aid.
[9] Lord, how you have helped me before! [10] You took me safely from my mother's womb and brought me through the years of infancy. [11] I have depended upon you since birth; you have always been my God. Don't leave me now, for trouble is near and no one else can possibly help.
Psalm 23
Prayer. Heavenly Father we come to you today because we know that you alone can help us because you understand everything that we feel today and everything this family is experiencing. You are a God who has feelings?.the scripture tells us you love us, the scripture reminds us that you have experienced every feeling we have and so we know that you understand today. Heavenly Father today we all grieve. We ask for your comfort and peace to be with this family and also with each of these friends who are here today. Give them understanding that grows each day, give them a greater trust in you and grant each one your peace and hope. In Jesus name. Amen.
When we lose someone we love it is though the lights go out. For a few moments we cannot see clearly?..we are in the dark?.it is as though time stands still and we need a hand to hold on to. There is a certain denial that sets in because we just cannot believe it. And sometimes it takes a while before the darkness goes away. Jesus tells us in the New Testament that He is the Light of the World. Listen to what the scripture says about this light.
John 8:12 (NIV) When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 9:5 (NIV) While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."
John 12:46 (NIV) I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
Regarding Heaven we see that the scripture again describes this light.
Rev. 21:23 (NIV) The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.
.. Further the Bible tells us a bit of what heaven will be like.
...there will be no more death...no more funerals to attend
...we will never grow tired
...there will be no sorrow
...no pain
...no darkness or night
...no need for the Sun...Jesus will provide all the light that we need
...there will be no end?.it will last forever. There will be no more disappointments, problems or difficulties no addictions.. The Bible describes it as a perfect place....no more cancer, disease or sickness of any kind!
In the OT book of Job we find the story of a man who lives a very righteous life yet he suffered greatly. Still today we refer to the patience of job because of how he handled this tragedy. Job faced just about every difficulty we can imagine. The story tells us that he was blameless, he feared God and he stayed away from evil. But he was tested. His wealth was taken from him. He lost his house, animals. All of his material possessions. He lost his children. They were all taken from him. Then he lost his health. But Job remained faithful to God. It causes us to ask the age old question, why do bad things happen to good people?
For Marc, he had some struggles in his life. All of us do. And the person that he became in recent days is not the same person many of you remember. He also many good things in his life and we need to remember those today. He has a wife Lisa who loved him deeply. Both of his parents, still living, James and Nancy also loved and care for Marc deeply. He will be deeply mised by all of these and the rest of his family as well.
Marc was born in Michigan. He was trained to be an electrician and worked in that capacity for a number of years. He was good at his job and he was a hard worker.
Marc had a number of things he loved in his lifetime. Hobbies that meant a lot to him. Marc was a huge football fan and was especially a Gators fan. He enjoyed Nascar. He was a golfer. He enjoyed fishing. And Marc loved everyone in his family very much. Perhaps his dog Freedom will miss him as well. They were very close. Lisa told me that Freedom was his best friend.
FAMILY SHARING
I have stood here and conducted funeral services for people of all ages...those who are older in their 80's and 90's who have lived a long full life as well as those who are much younger... and too many who have been taken in this way. One of the things that I have discovered is that regardless of age or situation we are not ready to give them up. We cannot help it but we often ask why things happen as they do. Paul the apostle said Anow we see thru a dark glass?..it=s not clear but one day we will see face to face...he was saying it is not all clear now but one day it will be...there are things we do not understand right now but one day we will understand. Today we must trust these things to a God who is much bigger than us, who loves us and will see us through.
Through all that Job went through he kept his faith but he did begin to ask questions. He had to. Having lost his health, his wealth and his children, he had to have some questions. His friends even turned against him and his wife told him he should just curse God and die.
One of the questions that Job asked was this, “if a man dies will he live again?” There is nothing that will push a person more to ask a question like that than when they are confronted by trouble. When we face problems of this magnitude we want to know what does the future hold for me? Is this life all there is? If I die will I live again? In the last week that Jesus spent here on earth the disciples asked him many questions. He had explained to the disciples over and over that there would come a time when He would have to go away.? He would go to the cross and face crucifixion?. His own death. He told them repeatedly that He would rise from the grave on the 3rd day after His death. But they still missed this. The Bible even tells us that when the disciples got to the empty tomb that they saw the grave clothes lying there that they wondered what had happened. Still they did not realize Jesus was alive. It is the same question Job asked 2000 years before this ? if a man dies will he live again?
In the New Testament we find an answer to this Old Testament question. If a man dies will he live again? The setting is this. Lazarus has just died. He was a very good friend to Jesus. When Jesus would pass through the area where he lived he would stop and stay with Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. Jesus is comforting his sisters and he gives them these words ? Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though He dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”
He then asked them the question ? do you believe this? I would ask you the same question here today. Do you believe this? Because if you do and you commit your life to Jesus Christ then you will spend eternity with Him. If a man dies and will he live again? The answer is yes if he believes.
Grief counselors will tell you that there are at least 3 things that we must do or pay attention to when we go through the valley of the shadow of death. Three things that can help us.
(1) time -doesn=t usually happen quickly...the grief process takes time?..so don=t try to rush it...sometimes a few months....sometimes a few years. It is different with each person.
(2) tears. Jesus wept.
(3) talk- share memories, stories, talk is therapeutic.
When we lose someone, especially in this way it takes some time before we can focus on God and begin to work through our grief. All of us need to remember that often in us, and often in others to a degree that we don’t even comprehend , there is a weakness that is beyond our control; a problem, a pain, despair, that is completely blocked from us and we cannot get through to that individual. We cannot penetrate their darkness nor can we understand it.
What has happened to each of you is almost unexplainable. When someone chooses death over life it tears us apart. We have more questions than answers. The family of a suicide victim carries a very special grief. One mother whose teenage son took his life compared it to carrying a book bag loaded with large rocks. One day the book bag seems to be filled with regret, one day it seems to be filled with failure and another day it seems to be filled with guilt. But no matter what’s in it, the book bag always weighs her down. So as we struggle with all of this families and friends sometimes take on the horrible feeling that they have failed in some way. We deal with guilt, we become angry.
So what do we do and how do we respond?
One thing we cannot do is to be judgmental. We do not know what pressures Marc was facing. Burdens perhaps of which we had no knowledge. Tension, depression, unresolved guilt, loneliness ....all of these can play a part. If someone has a chemical imbalance it can cause people to lose their best judgment and at those moments they make decisions that they would never make in their better moments. So we must be understanding.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I am truly sorry for your loss and assure you of my continued prayers on your behalf.
Prayer...heavenly Father we are reminded of the time that your friend Lazarus died and we find the simple words in the scripture that tell us that you wept. We are grateful that you are a God that has feelings...one that cares for us in our darkest moments?. one who knows all our feelings ...all our needs and you have the answers and the hope that we need. Today I pray for each member of this family asking you to comfort them guide them and help them though this difficult time. I pray that would you show then just how real that you are and how much you love them and that they would sense your presence with them in a powerful way today and in the months to come. I pray for your comfort and for your blessings on them...in Jesus name....Amen.
