There is an old fable that tells the story of an old man who was traveling with a boy and a donkey. As they walked through a village, the man was leading the donkey and the boy was walking behind. The villagers said the old man was a fool for not riding, so the old man climbed up on the animal’s back.
When they came to the next village, the people said the old man was cruel to let the child walk while he enjoyed the ride. So he got off the donkey and set the boy on the animal’s back and continued on his way.
In the third village, people accused the child of being lazy for making the old man walk. They suggested that both of them should ride, so the old man climbed on and they set off again.
In the fourth village, the people became indignant. They thought it was cruel to make the donkey carry two people. The frustrated man was last seen carrying the donkey down the road. (Bible Illustrator)
Opinions are like armpits. Everybody has them, and they usually stink. If you listened to everybody, nobody would be pleased, and you would end up carrying a heavy burden.
So who should you listen to? Whose opinion should matter the most to you? To whose voice should you pay attention more than anyone else’s?
That was the question Ruth faced more than 3,000 years ago when she found herself far away from home in a strange land. Her husband had died, and she was living with her mother-in-law in the little town of Bethlehem. Her new home was quite different than Moab, where she grew up. The laws and customs were very strange to her, so she needed a guide. She needed good advice from a reliable source.
If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Ruth 3, Ruth 3, where she discovered that source and where and you and I can discover it, as well.
Ruth 3:1 One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for. (ESV)
Naomi wants Ruth to find a husband and a home of her own.
Ruth 3:2a Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were?
According to Jewish law, it was the responsibility of a relative to marry the one who became a widow in his extended family. That way she could raise children in her deceased husband’s name. Naomi is telling Ruth, “Boaz is an eligible bachelor, and he is taking an interest in you.”
Ruth 3:2b See, He is winnowing barley tonight on the threshing floor.
In other words, there is going to be a party tonight! The harvest is over. They are separating the grain from the chaff on the threshing floor, and they will be celebrating like they do only once a year.
You know what is like at harvest time here in Kansas. During most of the rest of the year, farmers tend to be pessimistic, and for good reason. Life on the farm is hard. They have invested a lot of money in their crop, and they depend on the harvest to pay their bills. However, a hail storm at the last minute could damage their crop and ruin them financially. Farmers, as a rule, don’t like to get their hopes up, lest they be disappointed. But at harvest time, when the grain is in the bin, they are ecstatic. It’s their annual payday!
It’s harvest time in Bethlehem, and Boaz is in a good mood. It’s a good time to propose. Naomi knows that, so she instructs Ruth…
Ruth 3:3-4 Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don’t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.” (ESV)
Now, I know mothers-in-law are strange. But that’s the strangest advice I’ve ever heard – “Uncover his feet and lie down.” It certainly sounded strange to Ruth, but…
Ruth 3:5-6 “I will do whatever you say,” Ruth answered. So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. (ESV)
Ruth listened to her mother-in-law. She did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. More than any other voice, she paid attention to the voice of her family, and that’s what you need to do if you want to navigate well in our confusing times. Pay attention to your family more than all the other voices in our society.
That means, first of all, children, obey your parents more than your peers. Sometimes your parents’ advice may seem strange. But trust me: Life goes a whole lot smoother if you pay attention to your parents more than you pay attention to your friends.
Two boys were talking about their families as they were going to school. One boy said he had figured out a system for getting along with mom. He said, “It's very simple. She tells me what to do, and I do it.” What a thought! (John Maxwell, “What Children Owe Their Parents and Themselves,” Preaching Today, Tape No. 140) Life really does go a lot smoother if you listen to your parents.
Os Guinness, a well-known author and social critic, talks about the positive influence his parents had on him. He grew up in a China that had been ravaged by World War II and a brutal civil war. He and his parents lived in Nanjing, which was then the nation's capital. There were few good schools to go to, so at the age of five his parents sent him by plane to a boarding school in Shanghai.
Because of the extreme conditions, he was not the only one launched on such a path so young. However, it was the first time in his life that he had been away from his parents. So they gave him a constant reminder of their family values. His father searched for two small, smooth, flat stones and painted on them his life motto and that of Os’ mother. Guinness says, “For many years those two little stones were tangible memos in the pockets of my gray flannel shorts that were the uniform of most English schoolboys in those days.” In his right-hand pocket was his father's motto, “Found Faithful,” and in his left-hand pocket was his mother's, “Please Him.”
Many years have passed since then, and both of those little painted stones were lost in the chaos of escaping China when Mao Zedong began his iron and bloody rule of the entire country. Even so, Guinness says, “I have never forgotten the lesson of the little stones. Followers of Jesus are called to be ‘found faithful’ and to ‘please him,’ always, everywhere and in spite of everyone and everything.” (Os Guinness, Impossible People, InterVarsity Press, 2016; www.PreachingToday.com)
Wow! What a legacy of faith! Oz Guinness parents gave Him advice which helped him navigate the difficult days of his youth. But not only that, their advice has given him a world-wide stage from which to help others navigate the difficult days we face today.
Proverbs 1 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck” (Proverbs 1:8-9).
They are the adornment, which make you attractive to a world looking for answers especially in our day and age. Above all the other voices in our society clamoring for your attention, the voice of your family should be heard loud and clear. That means, children, obey your parents more than your peers.
But that also means, Parents, pay attention to your children, and Mom’s and Dad’s, pay attention to each other. Don’t let the siren song of success and work drown out the voices of your own family.
When Bill McCartney took the job as head football coach at the University of Colorado in 1982, he made a solemn promise. He told everybody that God was first, family second, and football third.
But he didn't keep that promise for long. The thrill and the challenge of resurrecting a football program in disarray simply took too much time and attention. As his teams kept winning year after year, he kept losing focus of his priorities.
When the University of Colorado won the national championship in 1990, many people said he had reached the pinnacle of his profession. But McCartney says, “For me, there was an emptiness about it. I had everything a man could want, and yet something was missing. I was so busy pursuing my career goals that I was missing out on the Spirit-filled life that God wanted me to have.” (Bill McCartney, Men of Integrity, Vol. 1, no. 1)
A few years later, McCartney resigned as head coach to devote more time to his family and to the things God wanted him to do. For you see, no amount of success is worth losing your family or your fellowship with God.
Several years ago, Rob Smitty donated one of his kidneys to a stranger. It was a noble thing to do. He had developed an interest in people needing organs while browsing the Internet, and he wanted to do something that would make his children proud.
But his 10-year-old daughter wasn't impressed. Amber said her father never comes to see her and never calls, not even on her birthday. “I don't think he's much of a hero,” she said.
As it turned out, Tennessee records showed that Smitty had not made child support payments to Amber's mother in the previous nine months. (Bill Poovey, “Child-Support Issue Clouds Man's Organ Donation,” The Courier Journal, 11-15-04)
You may be doing some wonderful things for a lot of people, but the Bible says, if you neglect your own family, you are “worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). So above all the other voices in our society clamoring for your attention…
LISTEN TO YOUR FAMILY.
Pay attention to those closest to you. Hear their voice more than any other voice in the world. But even more important than that…
LISTEN TO THE LORD.
Pay attention to God’s word, and hear His voice above all others.
You see, Ruth was not only faithful to her mother-in-law; she was faithful to the Mosaic law, as well. She obeyed God’s Word, despite her own feelings.
Ruth 3:7 When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. (ESV)
Boaz slept next to the grain pile to protect his investment. It was his annual paycheck all piled up in one heap, and he wasn’t about to let anyone take it away.
Ruth 3:8 In the middle of the night something startled the man; he turned—and there was a woman lying at his feet! (ESV)
His feet were uncovered. They got cold, and it woke him up. He bent forward, ready to grab any would-be thief, and he found a woman!
Ruth 3:9 “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family.” (ESV)
She wasn’t out to get his grain; she was out to get him! By asking him to spread the corner of his garment over her, she was proposing marriage (cf. Ezekiel 16:8). In Bible days, when a man put his outer coat over a woman, he was claiming her as his wife. In fact, the practice still exists in some Arab countries.
Now, you may think it strange that she proposed to him, but she was only obeying the Mosaic Law in this matter. According to Deuteronomy 25, the widow had to take the initiative in requesting marriage to her deceased husband’s nearest relative, and that’s exactly what Ruth does here. She takes the initiative. She proposes to Boaz.
The question is: How will Boaz respond? Will he accept or reject her proposal? After all, Ruth is poor, and he is wealthy. Ruth is a beggar, and he is a businessman. Ruth is a Gentile, and he is a Jew.
Ruth 3:10 “The LORD bless you, my daughter,” he replied. “This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. (ESV)
Boaz was old enough to be her father, but she clung to him; she was loyal to him.
Ruth 3:11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character. (ESV)
He accepts her proposal, because she is “a worthy woman” – lit., a woman of strength. It is the same word used of the Proverbs 31 woman. Ruth had a strength of character that was well-known. She was a godly woman, and everyone knew it.
Ruth 3:12-13 Although it is true that I am a guardian-redeemer of our family, there is another who is more closely related than I. Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to do his duty as your guardian-redeemer, good; let him redeem you. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning.” (ESV)
There is a slight complication in their plans. Boaz and Ruth are in love. They want to marry each other, but Boaz is NOT the closest relative. Now, according to the Mosaic Law, the closest relative has first dibs. He is the one who has the first opportunity to buy back Naomi’s property and marry Ruth.
So what do Boaz and Ruth do? Do they ignore the law and follow their hearts? That’s what a lot of people in our day say they should do: “Don’t follow some archaic rule; just follow your heart.” But that’s a recipe for disaster, and Boaz and Ruth are not going to follow their hearts. They are going to obey God’s law. They are going to do it God’s way, even if it means losing each other.
Ruth 3:14 So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, “No one must know that a woman came to the threshing floor.” (ESV)
Boaz doesn’t want the town gossips to get a hold of this one.
Ruth 3:15-18 He also said, “Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out.” When she did so, he poured into it six measures of barley and placed the bundle on her. Then he went back to town. When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “How did it go, my daughter?” Then she told her everything Boaz had done for her and added, “He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’ ” Then Naomi said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.” (ESV)
They don’t know who Ruth is going to marry. She wants to marry Boaz, but she is going to leave it in God’s hands. She is going to obey God’s law and trust God for the results. Ruth listened to the Lord.
She paid attention to His Word more than she did her own heart, and that’s what you need to do. Obey God’s Word even when you don’t feel like it.
Some time ago, 123 of the 128 runners in an NCAA cross-country championship missed a turn. They were running in Riverside, California, and Mike Delcavo was only one of five runners who stayed on course. He began waving for the other runners to follow him, but he could convince only four others to do so.
After the race, reporters asked him what the other runners thought of his mid-race decision not to follow the crowd. Delcavo responded, “They thought it was funny that I went the right way.” (Loren D. McBain, Leadership, Summer 1994, p.42)
When you go the right way, when you obey God’s law, most of the world will think it’s funny, but then most of the world will lose the race of life. Don’t follow the world. Don’t follow the crowd. Instead, follow the Lord and listen to His voice.
Really, there are only two voices you need to listen to in life. 1st, and most importantly, listen to the voice of God. And 2nd, listen to the voice of your family. Obey God and pay attention to your family. Faith and family: If you get those two priorities in order, then everything else will take care of itself.
Before he became a best selling author, John Grisham was an unknown, small-town lawyer. Even so, his fame has not caused him to forget the things that are most important, including his faith in God. As a young law student, Grisham remembers the remarkable advice of a friend:
He says, “One of my best friends in college died when he was 25, just a few years after we graduated from Mississippi State University. I was in law school, and he called me one day and wanted to get together. So we had lunch, and he told me he had cancer. I couldn't believe it,” Grisham says.
He asked his friend, “What do you do when you realize you are about to die?”
“It's real simple,” Grisham’s friend said. “You get things right with God, and you spend as much time with those you love as you can. Then you settle up with everybody else.” Grisham’s friend paused, and then he said, “You know, really, you ought to live every day like you have only a few more days to live.”
Grisham says, “I haven't forgotten those words.” (Will Norton, Jr., Christian Reader, Vol. 32, no. 6)
Don’t you forget those words either. Life is short, whether you have cancer or not. So get things right with God and right with your family before it is eternally too late. Get things right with God by calling on Jesus to save you from your sins. And get things right with your family perhaps by giving them a call today.
